Jermain Defoe Passes On Lasagna

“BITE HART LANE,” screams the front page of the Sun. “Defoe chomps rival.”

And there’s the picture to prove it. Jermain Defoe, Tottenham Hotspurs’ hungry striker, is sinking his teeth into the shoulder of West Ham’s tasty midfielder Javier Mascherano.

To the Sun this is “one of the most amazing scenes witnessed in English football”. And surely it ranks highly on the shock-o-meter.

Look on in horror as Mascherano, having brought down the Spurs player, sits on the turf. And see Defoe, approaching from down wind and the side, open his mouth and narrow his eyes.

And now the “wizard of nibble” moves in. He bites. It appears to hurt Mascherano, who pushes his hand to his arm. It’s still there. No gaping wound. Mascherano falls to the ground clutching his shoulder. His race is a vision of agony.

Now see referee Steve Bennett step in and give each player a yellow card. And hear Spurs manager Martin Jol tell the press: “Defoe was nibbling – nibbling his arm. But if you ask Mascherano to show you any marks on it he will not be able to.”

Nibbling. Not chomping. Nibbling. The kind of thing you do to a crisp or a Ritz cracker.

The kind of thing Francisco Gallardo did to Jose Antonio Reyes, then of Seville. (Gallardo celebrated Reyes’ strike by pulling him to the ground and biting his penis.)

Defoe tells the official Tottenham website: "This has been blown out of all proportion.

"When the West Ham player fouled me I reacted in a bit of a mischievous way, my character is a little like that at times. The referee was standing right over me and if he felt I had done anything bad he would have sent me off.

"The incident doesn’t look great on TV and I accept that as a role model to kids I have a responsibility to conduct myself in the right way which I always try to do on and off the pitch."
Indeed. But should we be lenient on Defoe? It was but a few months ago Spurs went to West Ham and succumbed to a rogue lasagne.

Better to go fresh. Mascherno is from Argentina, where the meat is plentiful and ripe. “Gaucho!” says Defoe as his teeth sink into flesh.

Posted: 23rd, October 2006 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink