Dusky Maidens – Big Brother’s Russell Brand On Women & Danielle’s Inner Shlipa
“BRAND’S BIG BROTHER CELEB SEX BOOK – star tries to ban seedy biog.”
The Star’s front-page news is supported by a shot of Danielle’s Lloyd, the woman who is in Dubai catching the sun in a concerted bid to turn her skin brown and so get in touch with her inner Shilpa.
Meanwhile, in what the Sun calls “Big BRUV AFTERMATH”, books are being written. And one of these works details the life and times of Big Brother host Russell Brand.
This unofficial biography tells of Brand’s “sordid sessions” with women, including prostitutes, says the Star.
The claim is that the Big Brother presenter lost his virginity at aged 16 to a Hong Kong-based Filipino prostitute paid for by his dad Ron.
The book tells us: “Sweating and shaking, young Russell climbed into bed with the Filipino vice girl.” And… Go on… “The 16-year-old Essex lad, destined to be one of Britain’s notorious womanisers and outrageous comics, was about to be initiated in the ways of the flesh.”
This is the stuff. Who needs Jade Goody giving a balding Brummie oral sex on Big Brother 3, Makosi Musambasi polluting the Big Brother Jacuzzi and Jack Tweedy’s sticky sheets when you have this?
“Afterwards, he ran his quivering hands over the prostitute’s perfect olive curves, she sighed with passion: ‘I must leave before I fall in love with you.”
What Filipino hooker could help but fall for an inexperienced Essex local with teeth like an aroused King Charles spaniel?
And there are other flings. Amid the tales of Brand’s bulimia and his £100-a-day heroin addiction, are other Big Brother stars.
The book claims Brand has enjoyed flings with Big Brother’s Makosi, Kate Lawler and others Russell would rather keep quiet about” – until his own book comes out late this year.
The official Russell Brand biography will vie with the unofficial Russell Brand biography for sordid details.
Has Russell slept with Kate Moss? What about Abi Titmuss? And what about Danielle Lloyd?
Posted: 6th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink