Kerry Katona’s Oven Ready Chicken
“MY baby’s like a frozen chicken from Iceland,” says Kerry Katona, now Kerry Croft.
Kerry is on the cover of OK!.
Pictured with her baby, new husband Mark Croft, we can neither confirm nor deny her claim that he looks like a plucked and gutted bird. Granted, the fuzzy scalp and dipping pointy beak give him the look of a newborn chick, but until we see the legs and feet, the jury is out.
Inside, the matter is cleaned up as Kerry uses her OK! Diary to tell us that the featherless fowl is not husband Mark but baby Heidi Elizabeth.
Kerry recalls how newborn Heidi was defrosted a little early when waters broke six weeks before the due date.
As ever in matters of showbiz births, the celebrity is forced to endure an emergency Caesarean.
But all went well. Heidi was to come out the oven early, a little underdone but if put on a hot incubator tray, left under lights and injected with some water this poussin would be done to a turn.
Just look at her. Says Kerry: “Unfortunately she looks like Mark with his chin and cheeks, but at least she’s got mine and Lilly’s ski-jump nose.”
While we pass on Heidi’s nose (geddit?), Kerry relives the full ordeal of birth.
We begin the event with Mark.
Mark: I thought Kerry had wet the bed when I woke up because I was lying next to a big wet patch.
Kerry’s problems with tears, drink and drugs have been well documented.
Kerry: Screaming. “No, I bleedin’ haven’t – my waters have broken.”
Kerry runs around like “a headless chicken”.
Mark: “I’m dead queasy when it comes to blood, so I nearly passed out at the birth!”
Well, Heidi was a little underdone. And if Big Brother has taught us anything, it is that chickens should be thoroughly devoid of bloody bits…
Posted: 28th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
