UN Declares War On Pete Doherty
THE UN’s War With Pete Doherty, as told by the Daily Sport newspaper.
Declaration: This is another day of solemn decision in Doherty’s history and of memorable events destined to give a new course to the history of continents.
One man, one man only through a series of infinite provocations, betraying with a supreme fraud the population of his country, wanted the war and had prepared for it day by day with diabolical obstinacy.
Today, the UN, with the plenitude of its forces and its moral and material resources, is a formidable instrument for the war and a certainty for victory.
Anorakians! Once more arise and be worthy of this historical hour!
We shall win.
As the Sport says of the UN: “The international organisation plans to attack none other than Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty.”
Says a “pal”: He’s paranoid at the best of times” but having 192 nation states hunting for him “could push him over the edge.”
The UN’S International Narcotics Board has written a report and speaking at its launch one Professor Hamid Ghoese says: “There should not be any difference between a celebrity who is breaking the law and non-celebrities. They get more lenient responses by the judiciary and law enforcements, and that is regrettable…. A number of people have got a lenient response in the UK and around the world.”
So war it is. But can the troops be spared from the world’s frontlines. We need a hero to track down Doherty and, wearing protective rubber gloves, arrest him.
Is Prince Harry up to the job? Or will he go native and lose the day..?
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
