Alan Sugar Urges Those With Big Balls To Get Behind Gordon Brown
IF only The Apprentice’s Alan Sugar could fire Gordon Brown. But Sir Alan only wants the best staff to fill that office job vacancy in Brentwood.
Can he make Gordon an offer he cannot ignore, perhaps pushing Sugar’s new range of Amstrad teeth whitening fluid?
Here’s Sir Alan championing his man at the start of the Labour Party conference. You may need to wash you teeth after reading this:
“My company got into big trouble at the end of the eighties. I was into the banks for £150million. That was a lot of money then. I had £300million pounds of inventory and I also had a bunch of executives that had enjoyed the rise to fame.
“I called them all in for a meeting and I said, ‘Those of you who are worried about tarnishing your CVs who might wanna leave what they perceive to be a sinking ship like rats, clear off now. And those of you that are with me we’re going to go into battle and sort this out.’
“I am pleased to report that we turned that deficit of £150million owed to the banks and £300million of inventory into cash balances of £140million but that’s another story. The reason for that story is blatantly clear. It is a synergy to government at the moment.
“One thing we can all agree on that Gordon was the best Chancellor of the Exchequer this country saw for many years.
“Who better to be in place when we have an economic problem than him? And dare I say to those that are not happy: Get Out. Have the balls to get out.
“And those of you who are left: Get behind the Prime Minister in the times ahead of us.”
If you’ve got big balls, get behind Gordon Brown. We hear you, Sir Alan. It’s not just gays who are sweet on Alan Sugar.
And this might be the very same Sir Alan who before his knighthood for services to beards and pointy fingers wrote to the FT in 1992 (thanks Ed):
Sir, I have noted with disgust the comments of a certain Mr Gordon Brown who has accused me of doing well out of the recession after reading the letter published in The Times from 40 top industrialists.
I do not know who Mr Gordon Brown is. Excuse my ignorance, but I don’t. Whoever he is (shadow trade and industry secretary), he has not done his homework properly. The man doesn’t know what he’s talking about. How he has the audacity to say that Amstrad, or Alan Sugar, has flourished in recession is a complete mystery to me.
The reason Labour flourished many years ago was the ‘them and us’ situation that prevailed in England. There were the rich and there were the poor. At that stage maybe I would have sympathised with the need for a Labour government. But that’s all been changed now. Look around. Yes, there are the very poor and more should be done for them. But almost everybody’s got a microwave oven, a car and a colour television – maybe more than one colour television in their homes. Let’s be honest with each other. ‘Them and us’ doesn’t exist any more, as I have demonstrated.
I have been able to come from the working class, achieve what I set out to achieve and not be suppressed by anybody. Likewise, in the stock market today there are bright young men with a Cockney accent doing deals and buying and selling shares. It’s not just the Heskett-Smythes mob that are doing it. Anybody can do it.
The government has made mistakes; nobody’s perfect. To be sure, somebody took his eye off the ball. Now the belt has been tightened and there have been casualties. But it is not just the poor unemployed factory worker from the Midlands who is being thrown out of work. So are the merchant bankers, the stockbrokers and the estate agents.
Labour offers no sort of route out of recession. It’s out of date and – as Brown’s remark shows – it hasn’t done its homework.
Of course it might all be wrong, and Sir Alan might not recall the comment. Sometime what we say we are and what we are don’t tally…
Posted: 21st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians Comments (23) | TrackBack | Permalink
