Madeleine McCann: Paedos From Lamp-Posts, Hating Fiona Philips And JonBenet Ramsey
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
QUEENSFERRY GAZETTE (Scotland): “We’ve been ad”
A CONCERNED mum has spoken out about the potential hazards posed by new outdoor advertising boards. Janette Sheppard is also worried that other parents may think the boards are simply lamp-posts.
Lamp-posts, for paedos to hide behind… Like those (G)litter bins…
She said: “These have just sprung up – one is outside my son’s primary school. At first glance it would be easy to mistake them for lamp-posts, but they are actually advertising boards.”
The wonders of modern technology. Who would have thunk it. Go on…
“There is a small electronic strip at the top which could be used by the council to post information if a child goes missing. I believe the council also gets some revenue from the boards.”
Making money from missing kiddies. For shame!
“My concern, as a parent, is if the council thinks it’s appro-priate to put one of these boards outside a primary school. Our kids are already inundated with advertising – do they really need more? And what kind of advertising is it going to be?”
Sweets. Peados. Guns. Snuff movies. You know, the usual kids’ stuff…
A West Lothian Council spokesperson said: “The new signs are part of the Amberwatch system, which is designed to allow urgent safety messages to be relayed instantly to the local community. The similar Amber Alerts system in America has been credited with helping locate over 100 missing children, and the parents of Madeline McCann have campaigned to have such a system installed across Europe.”
So there it is. It’s there to advertise when a child goes missing; and when a child doesn’t go missing…
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Review: My Sister, My Love by Joyce Carol Oates”
Review: My Sister, My Love by Joyce Carol Oates – The unsolved murder of a child star is too close to real events for David Robson
A child star… Get ready to be entertained…
Novels based on real-life crime stories always leave a slightly queasy taste. Novels based on unsolved real-life crime stories leave an even queasier one.
Hands over mouths; heres it comes…
There are probably writers already working on fictionalisations of the abduction of Madeleine McCann, but it is hard to feel much respect for them.
They don’t do it for the respect. They do it for the money; like the newspapers…
The same applies, mutatis mutandis, to this ethically questionable piece by Joyce Carol Oates, inspired by a crime that was the talk of America in 1996, when a six-year-old child beauty pageant contestant called JonBenet Ramsey was found brutally murdered in the basement of her parents’ house in Colorado.
DAILY STAR: “THAT’S VERY IRRITATING – FIONA IS BRITS’ MOST HATED CELEB”
IT’S Fiona Philips, GMTV’s soon-to-be ex-self-righteous-Labour-cheering-ultra-violet-toothed-baby-boasting-braying-nodding-head.
FIONA Phillips is more annoying than the washout summer, chavs and Heather Mills.
Mills isn’t annoying; Mills is entertaining.
Her on-screen gaffes include telling the parents of missing Madeleine McCann: “There are light moments. You’ve acquired this odd celebrity status.”
A gaffe? No way. This is the highest praise possible in the GMTV lexicon. GMTV renders everything it touches a celebrity: car crash victim, prime minister, doctor etc. are all touched by the GMTV celebrity wand. A celebrity… nothing bigger, nor better…
100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS FOR 2008
1. Benefit scroungers
2. The credit crunch
3. Tailgaters
4. Cold callers
5. People reading over your shoulder
6. Gordon Brown
7. Fiona Phillips
8. Being bloated
9. Rising fuel prices
10. Falling house prices
11. The wet summer
12. Middle lane drivers
13. Constipation
14. Bossiness
15. Slow internet connections
16. Being put on hold
17. Pregnant women smoking
18. Someone nicking your parking spot
19. Stepping in dog poo
20. Jehovah’s Witnesses
21. Debt companies advertising on TV
22. Skinny people who complain they are fat
23. Queue jumpers
24. Bullying
25. Noisy neighbours
26. Nosey neighbours
27. People parking in disabled bays when they aren’t disabled
28. Junk mail
29. Snobs
30. Noisy eaters
31. Dog owners who don’t clean up after their pets
32. People putting our Olympic achievements down
33. Novelty ringtones
34. Automated phone systems
35. Chavs
36. People who walk slowly
37. People who take their kids to shops and let them run riot
38. Amy Winehouse
39. Sienna Miller’s love life
40. Rude shop staff
41. Wasps
42. Diarrhoea
43. Cristiano Ronaldo
44. People who have their mobile turned off when you really need to get hold of them
45. Dannii Minogue
46. Mosquitoes
47. Kids kicking the back of your chair on a plane
48. Hangovers
49. The hot water running out when you want to take a bath
50. Buses not arriving on time
51. Heather Mills
52. James Blunt
53. Reformed smokers
54. People talking on their mobile on public transport
55. Headaches
56. The smoking ban
57. Toothache
58. Litter bugs
59. Spots
60. People who write “text back” in texts
61. Scientology
62. Russell Brand
63. Screaming kids
64. Alistair Darling
65. Traffic wardens
66. Americans
67. Roadworks
68. Big Brother
69. Pete Doherty
70. Runny nose
71. PDAs (public displays of affection)
72. Flat tyres
73. Ashley Cole
74. Tax returns
75. Finding out that you’ve run out of toilet paper when you really need
the loo
76. Boasters
77. Not having change when you really need it
78. Carol Vorderman
79. Paper cuts
80. Stepping in chewing gum
81. Bad hair days
82. Charley Uchea off Big Brother
83. Mothers-in-law
84. Cashiers giving you your change on top of a receipt
85. Posh Spice
86. CDs that jump
87. Stubbing your toe
88. Getting something in your eye
89. Losing your glasses
90. Cat hair that sticks to your clothes
91. Children who cough in your face
92. Losing your passport
93. People ramming the back of your heels with trolleys
94. Rubbish opening times at doctors and dentists
95. Kate Garraway
96. email spam
97. People using mobiles in the quiet carriage on the train
98. People who don’t remove their shoes in the house
99. Naomi Campbell
100. Troublesome computer printers
And so on…
Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids Comments (293) | TrackBack | Permalink
