Freddie Windsor And Sophie Winkleman’s Special Hello!

HOW do you promote Lord Freddie Windsor’s marriage to Sophie Winkleman if the happy couple have declined to sell the rights to their do to Hello! magazine?

Well, if you’re Hello magazine you stick a photo pool image on the cover and label it a “ROYAL WEDDING SPECIAL”.

To Hampton Court Palace, then. And we see Sophie and Freddie smiling. And then we spot Princess Michael – four pictures of Princess Michael. And there’s Lady Gabriella walking away from a camera. Get a load of the back of her dress, readers.

Is that Prince Charles? No. Prince William? No. Prince Harry? No. Oh, come on there’s a free bar… No. But there’s talk of Jane Asher being there, and Sophie who we learn, supports Spurs.

And if you still want to see and actual wedding, Hello! has a new feature called “HELLO! YOU”, in which Non-Chinless Wonders can send in their wedding photos to be featured in the hallowed pages.

So we get three wedding for the price of one – one which we never actually got to see…