John Terry, Ashley Cole And Vernon Kay United For St Valentine’s Day Massacre
VALENTINE’S Day is “cancelled” because of John Terry, Ashley Cole and Vernon Kay. They are the “Stupid Rats” who are preventing you from laying a scentless rose on your lover’s pillow and dining out on an over-priced meal with funeral arrangements for pudding.
The New of The World has the news that comes too late for a million men racing home with garage forecourt flowers entwined about a pair of musical knickers. In order, the St Valentine’s Day Massacres’ leading players:
Passion Killer: Vernon Kay
Poison Arrow: Rhian Sugden
ANGRY Tess Daly gave horny hubby Vernon Kay a furious dressing down for LYING about the number of girls he’s sex-texted.
And one of his phone buddies, Page 3 girl Rhian Sugden, has been dressing up for a night on the town… in tiny pink Y-fronts and a barely there vest.
You can always trust a girl in Y-fronts, especially one who tucks her vest well into the waistband.
Passion Killer: John Terry
Poison Arrow (alleged): Vanessa Perroncel
John Terry: Wayne Bridge’s Lover Vanessa Perroncel In Pictures (NSFW)
Alicia Douvall (NSFW)
Lauren Pope (NSFW)
Incredibly it was just seven days ago the News of the World revealed how serial love rat Terry, 29, sensationally gagged mistress Vanessa Perroncel with £750,000 hush money AND paid off four more secret lovers not to blab on his sordid sex life.
The alleged lovers’ whose names we do not know because the NoTW spiked the story and the Sun and Times, its sister papers, got exclusives with JT, who is being talked about in reverent tones usually reserved for World War 1 fighter pilots:
Toni looked stunning in a tiny white bikini as she got up close to her hubby in trendy white and blue swimming shorts. At one point slippery Terry appeared to come face to face with a REAL shark that he’d proudly hauled in from the sea. Son Georgie looked well impressed – until spotting it was just a plastic fake.
Bliss. Lastly:
Passion Killer: Ashley Cole
Poison Arrow (alleged): Sonia Wild
DEVASTATED Cheryl Cole last night SCRAPPED plans to spend a romantic Valentine’s Day with her nude phone pics scandal hubby Ashley Cole – and changed her schedule so she could WORK instead.
As their marriage crisis deepened, the furious Girls Aloud star also BANNED the injured Chelsea star from Tuesday night’s Brit awards – the biggest night of her career so far.
Banned from the Brits? That’s a punishment or a reward?
Posted: 14th, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
