Tanning mom Patricia Krentril heads to London in search of the sun’s rays

IN May 2012, Patricia Krentril was arrested in New Jersey for taking her 5-year-old daughter to a tanning salon, where she was burnt. Krentil, who looks George Hamilton’s portrayal of Geppetto’s Mr. Hankey, became a star. In May of that year, Patty Baked swore of tanning. Well, she agreed to take the challenge issued by In Touch magazine and abstain from UV rays for 30 days. Sure, she still used Jergens self-tanner and told us “I feel weird and pale”, but she did it. But now she’s back. And the Sun says she heading to the UK – in search of a tan!

(After which she will head to the Himalayas in search of the Abominable Snowman; Loch Ness in search of a Monster; and Mecca in search for a bacon roll.)

Says Patty Baked:

“I was born to tan — and there is nothing like the colour that you get from a sunbed. But in the past year I have been banned from tanning salons. Now I have to spend hours covering myself in tanning lotion to get the colour I want.”

And the UK is big on Melanoma 341.

“It’s freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden. I need to get out of this place so I can regain my freedom and live my life the way I want to. There’s no future for me here. But I love London and am convinced that moving there is the only way my family and I can find happiness again.”

Anorak envisages Krentil rocking up to the Oxo Tower and turning up the power to 11 as a Scotsman operating the National Grid’s Big Machine screams, “We cannae take it. It’s gonnae blow!”