The 35 Most WTF Christmas Toys Ever

CHRISTMAS is coming. Reach down the back of the sofa and find those pennies. Hell, the kinder want iPads and stuff. Sell the sofa. Sell your liver. Sell your souls. You must give the kids what they want or else they will grow up to be utterly dysfunctional. But, then, they will finally get a therapist like the cool kids. Maybe it’s not all bad. Maybe you should buy them the big gifts but make them a bit, you know, terrifying? We’ve scoured the internet to bring you the most bazaar, off-beat, inappropriate children’s toys ever:

Keep On **uckin:

If You’re Happy And You Know And You Really Want To **ow It…

The Phallic

The Nightmares

The Life Lessons

That’s racist!

The Role Models

Just a young girl and her middle-aged man doll toy

Lost in translation

You see. A hairy baby is normal

And finally, the homemade:

“One thing that makes her even more unique is the fact that a walnut was used for her head. If you have any questions do not hesitate to contact me.”