Want to see the real Barbie doll? Nickolay Lamm wants to show us what a real woman as a plastic doll would look like. His Lammily doll has impetigo, a mole, wounds, bruises and – unlike Mr Stretch Armstrong – stretch marks.

Who knew that a real person wasn’t like a doll?

Kids, eh, so stupid they think all adults look like Barbie. If you let them drive real cars they’d just sit ther going “Brrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm”. And never – NEVER – leave your child alone with a full gown grizzly bear.

Lamm wants to teach the kids (ie mums and dads) “that reality is cool… a lot of toys make kids go into fantasy, but why don’t they show real life is cool?”

Kind using ther imaginations… What madness is this?

Wel, you know, kids are kids. Adult realities will bite soon enough.

So. Here is the real Barbie doll. But if you can’t afford it just take some felt tips to your own. You might care to add some shading to her upper lip and eyebrows. But we are assured that Barbie remains pliable and can be made to bend forward and place her head in her rough hands…