Man knifes mind-controlling pig before hiding at bottom of swimming pool
Bobby Andreas Heck, 41, is charged with assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest and animal cruelty. Before his arrest, Heck was standing in his family’s home, accusing Mr. Oinkers, a pet pig, of “trying to control his mind”, it being known well that “all pigs are brainworkers”.
Heck claimed the pig was trying to force him to kill other pigs.
He then stabbed the pig.
Heck’s father grabbed Heck. Heck turned the knife on his father, knifing him in buttocks. Police were called. Heck fled. The cops found Heck holding his breath at the bottom of a neighbor’s swimming pool.
“It must be some kind of record for how long he held his breath underwater,” says an arresting officer. “I don’t think it was as long as ten minutes, but, heck, it had to have been at least six minutes, maybe seven. We were all amazed.”
Heck was pulled from the pool and roasted with a stun gun. His hairline (see above) remained undisturbed throughout.
The mind-controlling pig is recovering well and moving into the hairdressing business. Be afraid.
Posted: 27th, July 2017 | In: News, Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
