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Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

Charlie Hebdo cover for the anniversary of the Paris massacre

This is the Charlie Hebdo’s cover for the anniversary of the Paris massacre: “The assassin is still out there.”

 

Don’t let the censors win. … (read more)

Posted: 5th, January 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Police blotter: you CAN buy cocaine on the Isle of Skye

The polic are such wags:

 

… (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Keeping Up With The Danczuks: toenails, orgies, escorts and God

 

Keeping up with the Danczuks: a look at Labour MP and anti-paedo activist Simon Danczuk and assorted women in the tabloids.

Daily Mirror (Page 7): “Shamed MP to sue over ex’s … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal things: Wenger zips, Wilshere injured, Newcastle nil

Five Things We Learnt. It’s the made-for-internet football story that enables jobbing hacks to conjure clicks from what has already been reported many times over.

Let’s look at how the mainstream media … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: De Gea announces Manchester United departure

It’s January. Football’s transfer window is open. Manchester United goalie David De Gea has a new Facebook profile photo.

Did you join the dots?

The Telegraph, did. It takes the updated photo as a … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, manchester united, Sports | Comment


The Jihadi John show jumps the shark with a little sidekick and new star

Meet the “New Jihadi John”. You might call him the new improved Jihadi John, given that the latest televised ex-pat murderer is using a gun, having upgraded from a knife, … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Watch a cat in a monkey suit licking a banana

 

As you know, it’s the Year of the Monkey.To celebrate  10 Cats has filmed a cat dressed a monkey licking a banana.

 

cat-banana monkey suit … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


NHS complaint letter of the year

When Yael Biran fell and broke her elbow, the mother of two sought treatment at her nearest NHS hospital in Lewisham, London. Her experience led to a bought to letter writing:

 

 

 

 

… (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Transfer balls: Aubameyang wants to play for Arsenal (or Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United)

Transfer balls: Arsenal are all set to offer £42m for Borussia Dortmund striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, says the Sun.

Aubameyang has scored 24 goals in 23 appearances this season.

He has “told friends” he wants to … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Simon Danczuk: woman of the year 2016

Simon Danczuk, the sleazy Labour MP for Rochdale, is wrapped around the news like a randy middle-aged man at a bridal shower. The smart move would be for mired Simon to undergo a … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2016 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: £35m Isco £64m to Arsenal, £25m to Man City, £29m to Juventus

Every transfer window a player occupies the media. This January its Isco.

The Mirror says Real Madrid midfielder Isco, 23, is hoping to engineer a £25m move to Manchester City.

Is h? We don’t … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Scientist: ‘I can raise the dead’

The Daily Express says a company claims they’ll be able to “RESURRECT THE DEAD by 2045”. To which the obvious response is: but will that be too late to save … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Tabloids, Technology | Comment


Biased BBC presents murderous attack in Tel Aviv as anti-gay hate crime

The BBC has been reporting on the murderous attack at the Simta Bar on Dizengoff Street Tel Aviv, Israel. Two men are dead. Four more are badly injured.

Kevin Connolly, BBC News, … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Dear Abby: Agony aunt Letter of the day

Dear Abby…

 

 

 
The letter has many forms:

 
Dear Abby
Date of Joke: Thursday, 27th December, 2012

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Jew-faced Kum & Go bandit arrested for looking himself in the toilet

To the Kum & Go convenience store in Oklahoma, where Michael Carter, 26, has Kum and not gone. Kum & Go employees say Carter refused to leave the business. Kum and Go employees have … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Arsenal balls: Newcastle cut up rough

The Sun says that Newcastle United manger Steve McClaren has “ordered  Newcastle to rough up” Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil when the teams meet this afternoon. Are the Magpies really going to … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, January 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Jeremy Corbyn gives flooded York a hand – literally

How did the tabloids report on Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn’s trip to flood-hit York?

Daily Mirror (Page 19): “Flood chaos: ‘Tory cuts are a massive threat to life.'”

Odd that such … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Stephanie Davis: everything you don’t already know about me and Zayn Malik (secretly)

Stephanie Davis stands in her underwear on the Daily Star’s Page 7.

Davis is the demure “Hollyoaks babe” all set to enter the Celebrity Big Brother house and “dish the dirt” … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Transfer Balls: Bournemouth sign Roma winger

 

Transfer news: Bournemouth have signed Roma winger Juan Iturbe, 22, on loan for the rest of this season. If Argentine Iturbe plays well, Bournemouth have an option to sign him in the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2016 | In: Sports | Comment


Dead Russian man wakes in morgue – reaches for the vodka

To Russia, where a man who ‘died’ after drinking many shots of vodka is at the morgue.  According to reports, medics in Khasanky, Russia,received a call from the man’s friends. The doctors arrived. They … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal in for Ben Chilwell, get Elneny, disappoint fans

Arsenal “will look to sign new players in January”. So says the Mail, which picks up Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger’s words to the Press. “I’ll be busy, that’s for sure,’ … (read more)

Posted: 31st, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Paedo Hunter Simon Danczuk suspended from Labour Party over teenage sex tweets

 

Labour MP Simon Danczuk, 49, has been suspended from the Labour Party amid news that he sent ‘spanking’ texts to a teenager.

Simon Danczuk, MP for Rochdale, told the 17-year-old student she was … (read more)

Posted: 31st, December 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comments (2)


The folks at NOW TV aren’t even trying anymore

 

Spotter: @GeshGav

  … (read more)

Posted: 29th, December 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Kay Burley offers top tip to York flood victims

Sky news anchor Kay Burley has a top tip for York City flood victims:

 

… (read more)

Posted: 29th, December 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Did Karren Brady And Duncan Bannatyne inspire this Sunday Sport sex comic?

Over on Twitter, jobbing pundit and Alan Sugar Apprentice advisor Karren Brady has seen a picture of televised investor and Dirk Bogarde hair enthusiast Duncan Bannatyne and sniped to Sun readers:  “For a seriously … (read more)

Posted: 28th, December 2015 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment