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Chelsea Things: Hazard Misses, Mourinho on ‘drugs’, Loftus-Cheek’s ‘immaculate’ yellow card

Chelsea Things: Chelsea beat the mighty Maccabi Tel Aviv 4-0 at Stamford Bridge last night, causing the journalisomobile to crank up it’s “Things We Learnt‘ SEO-driven device.

The Sun.

 

The paper says Eden Hazard should have scored … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Arsenal Things: Cech beats Ospina, ‘omnishambles’ Gibbs is England’s saviour, Walcott can score

Arsenal lose 2-1 in Croatia to Dinamo Zagreb, causing the journalisomobile to crank up it’s “Things We Learnt’ SEO-driven device.

The Sun has ‘Five Things We Learned’ from Arsenal’s defeat.

 

 

Olivier Giroud should be sorry … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2015 | In: Arsenal | Comment

Chelsea: the media find and expert in banterology

Chelsea’s ban on banter has given us all a laugh. And as a player walks past John Terry sand says “nice hair” in a not-at-all-sarcastic manner, the Daily Mirror invites banterologist, Professor Mark … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

These spoof Tesco wine labels are better than the real thing

To Tesco , where a marketing wag has replaced the usual product information guff with rare insight and wit.

Malbec wine is: ‘Full of tangy clagnuts with a smooth hint of disco and … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Ahmed the hoax bomber’s dad ‘occasionally returns to Sudan to run for president’

You’ve read about Ahmed Mohamed, the 14-year-old pinched for taking a homemade clock into school – staff and Texas police thought it was a bomb and arrested him.

Well, the Dallas News report … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment

Ahmed builds a clock, shows it to teachers, gets arrested for having a ‘bomb’

To Irving, Texas, where 9th-grad Irving MacArthur High student Ahmed Mohamed, 14, is being sent to juvenile detention. Police are looking to charge him with making a hoax bomb.

Ahmed Mohamed didn’t make … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment

Spurs and Chelsea: London clubs plans to share Wembley a ‘spoiling tactic’

 

Can Tottenham and Chelsea share Wembley Stadium while their respective stadiums are being renovated?

The Daily Mail says “desperate Spurs are losing ground in battle with Premier League rivals Chelsea in bid to … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports, Spurs | Comments (2)

Terrible fashion: the BlueBella ‘Unwrap Me’ Body Bow £16.00

BlueBella ‘Unwrap Me’ Body Bow

 

 

Women are being old the BlueBella ‘Unwrap Me’ Body Bow for £16.00.
Body Bow by BlueBella
Satin ribbon
Oversized design
Can be tied in a number … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Fashion, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Sentence for woman who wrapped boyfriend’s penis in red-hot hair straighteners

Bronwyn Joy Parker, 22, pleads guilty to recklessly causing serious harm to her lover’s penis by burning it with hair straighteners.

The boyfriend suffered third degree burns to each side of his bellend at … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Manchester United: Luke Shaw cries in the changing room

 
 

Thoughts are with Manchester United’s Luke Shaw, who suffered a double fracture to his right leg in last night Champions’ League match in Eindhoven. (The match finished 2-1 to the … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Jeremy Corbyn gets stage fright at Battle Of Britain sing-along: recalls John Redwood horror

 

What’s Jeremy Corbyn been up to, then? It’s more what he’s not been up to. He’s not been singing the National Anthem in public. On this occasion Corbyn did not sing … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment

Lisa Borch: sexualising the underage, evil, blonde, angelic killer

Lisa Borch, 15, and Bakhtiar Mohammed Abdulla, 29, murdered the teenager’s mother Tina Holtegaard at the family home in rural Denmark.  Abdullah, who met Borch at the a refugee centre near to her home, … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment

Manchester United: Watch Memphis Depay’s goal against PSV

 

Memphis Depay said he’d celebrate should he score against his former club, PSV, in the Champions’ League. Well, he scored for Manchester United. And he celebrated. No po-faced look for … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Liverpool: El-Hadji Diouf says Stephen Gerrard ‘doesn’t like black people’

El-Hadji Diouf has snapped back at Steven Gerrard in the wake of comments the former Liverpool captain made in his new autobiography about the gob-happy Senegalese forward and his general … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)

BBC mocks Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke for being deaf

 

Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke was in the Chamber to take part in the Trade Union Bill debate. He’s a little deaf.

 

 

Ah:

 

 

If only the BBC had the resources to check. … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Politicians | Comment

Arsenal balls: who is the ‘star’ player happy to leave Chelsea and join the Gunners?

 

In “Arsenal star: Leaving Chelsea to join Gunners was ‘happiest day of my life'”, Daily Express readers meet,well, who? Who is the Arsenal “star” who left Chelsea?

A look through … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Liverpool balls: Rafa Benitez has Steven Gerrard’s number in phone call spat

Steven Gerrard has told us about his gashed penis, how he bleeds Liverpool red and “hates” Manchester United. Now Gerrard uses his new book to reveal his thoughts on former Liverpool manager Rafa … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Books, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Liverpool: Klopp wants the job if Rodgers is sacked

Is Jurgen Klopp heading to Liverpool? German nespaper Bild says the former Borussia Dortmund manager is interested in replacing the verbose and smug Brendan Rodgers at Anfield.

Under Rodgers, Liverpool are directionless and uninspiring. … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comments (5)

Media Balls: Tevez and Bony replace Aguero in Manchester City team

Update for anyone who gets their news in the Metro: Carlos Tevez is not playing for Manchester City in their Champions’ League match with Juventus, for whom he also does no … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Sports | Comment

Head case: woman who bit into man’s testicles charged with malicious castration

 

To North Carolina, where Martinne Patricia Delavega, 51, of Jacksonville, has been charged with malicious castration and assault causing serious bodily injury. She bit a man’s genitals, causing his testicles to tear open.

 

What happened … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Chelsea: Mourinho bans banter but everyone else is laughing

How can Chelsea get their season back on track? The Telegraph knows. It says Jose Mourinho and his players have banned “all banter”.

The punishment for making a joke or  – god forbid – … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Manchester United: Depay will celebrate with joy against PSV

 

Louis Van Gaal has been talking ahead of Manchester United’s return to the Champions’ League:
“I think the fans shall see a Manchester United who fight for their chances but we … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Jeremy Corbyn: his little Jewish problem

 

More on Jeremy Corbyn and the Jews is a rambling column from Yasmin Alibhai-Brown. The headline comes in the form of an order:
Fling mud if you must, but don’t call Jeremy Corbyn … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comments (2)

Manchester United: the Daily Mail’s obsession with Wing’s restaurant

 

Does the Daily Mail have a deal with Manchester eatery Wing’s? Today the paper says:
“Manchester United star Anthony Martial trades pub for restaurant as he samples popular footballers’ haunt Wing’s … (read more)

Posted: 14th, September 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

WATCH: Dennis Skinner MP loses it on BBC News – walks off with microphone

Labour MP Dennis Skinner loses it on BBC News, then casually wanders off with his mic on.

It is, says Jonny Nelson,‏ “wonderful lunchtime viewing”.

 

… (read more)

Posted: 14th, September 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment

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