Kensington Palace says photographers must stop harrassing Prince George and Princess Charlotte. Look out for lots of stories demanding Kate and Wills have their privacy, all illustrated with stick drawings of … (read more)

What the row over Chelsea club doctor Eva Carneiro needed was the views of Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger. Jose Mourinho has behaved badly, comparing Dr Carneiro to a secretary and banishing her from the … (read more)

To South Carolina, where “an older white male” has stolen $75 worth of ribeye steaks by secreting the meat inside his colostomy bag.

David Samuel Hoyt, 55, admitted the theft.

The steaks remain missing.

Spotter

  … (read more)

To Phoenix, Arizona, where Okilly Dokilly – the world’s first and only Ned Flanders tribute band – are talking to James McCann. They play ‘Nedal’ music. It being what The Simpson’s … (read more)

Spanish goalkeeper David Ge Dea has, says the Sun, told Louis van Gaal he does not want to play for Manchester United. The hammer-headed Van Gaal is quoted:
“We’ve talked with him, he … (read more)

You can send anyone a photo of your penis via a feature “buried in Apple’s iPhone”, says the Indy. No need to download Snapchat or … (read more)

More on Eva Carneiro, the Chelsea club doctor compared to a “secretary” by team manager Jose Mourinho.

Carneiro is aware of her gender:
“In every medical television programme I have ever watched in … (read more)

When Chelsea FC’s manger Jose Mourinho thought it a good idea to admonish club doctor Eva Carneiro in public for treating Eden Hazard on the pitch, he crank-started the journalisomobile.

Michael Oliver, the … (read more)

Transfer Balls: Is Mason Holgate joining Bournemouth? Is Mason Holgate joining Everton? What says the Press?

August 8, The Mail:
Bournemouth have been given permission to speak to Barnsley right-back Mason Holgate … (read more)

The Sun: “Truth about me and Heath”

Me is…
EXCLUSIVE: Brothel … (read more)

Transfer Balls: It’s been a busy summer for Barcelona’s Adama Traore. Those experts in the mainstream Press have been tracking his movements:

July 26, The Metro: “‘Manchester United paying release clause … (read more)

One Premier League game under his waistband and West Ham United’s 16-year-old Londoner Reece Oxford is being built up as the great English hope.

Take this from the Mirror’s John Cross:
…that … (read more)

Football Balls: Ian Weight is the Arsenal fanboy making a living dictating a column for the Sun.

On August 4, he told Sun readers:
If Sunday’s Community Shield proved one … (read more)

Madeleine McCann: it’s the summer and, naturally, the missing child is back in the news.

Daily Mail: “Eye-scanners used to track terrorists adapted to help search for missing children like Madeleine … (read more)

Do you suffer from Foot Orgasm Syndrome (FOS)?Dr. Justin Lehmiller reports on on those who endure /enjoy orgasms via their feet:
“Mrs. A” (as she is identified in the case report) … (read more)

… (read more)

Glow worm populations in Llandudno’s Great Orme have “boomed” following the council’s move … (read more)

All that money on marketing Nike to the cool kids only for one of your brand’s fans pulls on the big tick logo and attempt to have … (read more)

Is Manchester City’s Raheem Sterling in trouble? The Sun thinks he is. Its headline and teaser place Sterling at a scene of destruction:
Who hit the gas?

EXCLUSIVE: Raheem’s Merc crashed … (read more)