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Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

Fun with child death and lice with these 10 Plagues Seder Night masks

It’s Seder Night, when Jews recall Passover and the plagues sent down on the house of Egypt to help along their emancipation from slavery. As dad reads out the story, the … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Transfer Balls: Chelsea’s Petr Cech needs Christophe Lollichon Arsenal if he’s to thrive

Chelsea’s John Terry says Petr Cech can win Arsenal the Premier League title. Arsenal want to buy Cech for £10 million. His first competitive match for the Gunners could be the Community Shield … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Sergio Ramos uses ‘weak’ Manchester United to get a new deal at Real Madrid

Are Manchester United really going to sign Real Madrid’s Sergio Ramos? The media is full of speculation linking the Spanish defender to Old Trafford

Ramos’ contract at Madrid runs until 2017. … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Wilshere gets to Arsenal deal as Manchester City scramble for Pogba

Transfer Balls: The Sun says Manchester City will try to buy Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere if they fail with a bid to sign Paul Pogba from Juventus.
City are desperate to land the … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Other parents: watch 3 dads fight at six-year-old’s birthday party

 

To Australia, where fathers are fighting at a six-year-old’s birthday party.  We join the action at the Lollipops Playland indoor play centre in Wetherill Park, Sydney. Two children have bumped into each other. … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Transfer Balls: tabloids’ Geoffrey Kondogbia to Arsenal story a masterclass of bilge

Transfer Balls salutes the Daily Star, which tells Arsenal fans:
Arsenal Transfer News: Kondogbia DONE DEAL
That sounds a lot like Monaco’s Kondogbia has singed for the Gunners, right? Wrong.
Geoffrey Kondogbia has signed … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, June 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Jackson Martinez heading to Arsenal for £5m less then they paid for him in February

Transfer Balls:  FC Porto striker Jackson Martinez, 28, is waiting for Arsenal to comer and get him, says the Daily Express. The paper declares:
Jackson Martinez heading to Arsenal for £25m
Back in February … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, June 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

The Sun hates Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish – Prince Harry but with talent

 

The Sun continues its assault on Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish (previously: hippy crack and larks), whose in Marbella’s Sisu Boutique Hotel with a 6-litre Ciroc Vodka:
FOOTIE ace Jack Grealish lies beside … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, June 2015 | In: Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: news of Manchester United’s mad £45m bid for Sergio Ramos

Transfer Balls: The Daily Mail says Manchester United are “close to signing Sergio Ramos from Real Madrid”. Ramos has a contract keeping him at Real until 2017.  He’s 29. How … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

One in 35 living British men is a paedophile say scaremongers

The Daily Mail reports that “750,000 UK men want child sex”. That sounds terrible.
One in 35 men pose a risk of being a child abuser
On the plus side that could mean that … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment

Liverpool’s Kolo Toure and ‘Flora’ Ntonya’s post-Yaya al fresco election night sex

In “Stingy Kolo gave me a £10 tip… my window cleaner clients pay more”, the Sun hears more from Sandra Ntonya, the woman who claims to have met Manchester City’s married Yaya Toure in … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2015 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: ‘Dirty Schwein’ Bastian Schweinsteiger joins Manchester United (again)

Transfer Balls: The Daily Mirror says Manchester United are “confident” of signing Bayern Munich’s Bastian Schweinsteiger.
Manchester United are nearing a £7.5million deal for Bayern Munich star Bastian Schweinsteiger, writes Steve … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Liverpool ‘sources’ imagaine a £50m Manchester Bid for Raheem Sterling

Transfer Balls: a look at rubbish football rpeoting in the mainstream media. Today the Daily Express says Manchester will pay £50m for Liverpool’s Raheem Sterling. Having had a £40m offer rejected, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2015 | In: Liverpool, Manchester City, Sports | Comment

Phwoar: Cop a load of Liam Gallagher’s manboobs

 

Liam Gallagher is not as hard as his brother Noel, who survived being autograph hunted by Tony Blair. Physically, Liam’s a cloud of manboobs. We know this because Robbie Williams saw Liam in football shorts … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Drugs bust: woman smuggled 1.5kg of cocaine in her breasts

Cop a load of Honduran Paola Deyanira Sabillon, 22. She’s been attracted at Bogota airport, Colombia, for having 1.5kg of cocaine inside her breast implants. Sabillon says her breasts were destined … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Transfer Balls: Spurs find £20m for PSG’s Adrien Rabiot, who already signed for Roma and Arsenal

Transfer Balls: Are Tottenham readying a bid for PSG’s Adrien Rabiot? The Times says they are:
Tottenham Hotspur have expressed further interest in signing Adrien Rabiot, who has played in midfield for France … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Sports, Spurs | Comment

Heinz ketchup offers free porn with every EZ SQUIRT bottle

 

When Daniel Korell scanned the QR code on the side of his bottle of Heinz ketchup he was transported not a site allowing him to design his own bottle (as … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment

Wanted man captured wearing ‘You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide’ T-shirt

 

When police captured shooting suspect Tieren Watson in Benton, Arkansas, he was wearing a T-shirt that read:

“You can run, but you can’t hide.”

Indeed you cannot.

… (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Transfer Balls: Arsenal bid £28.5m for William Carvalho but Manchester United got him for £37m

Transfer Balls: In an ‘exclusive” The Sun says Arsenal are bidding £28.5m William Carvalho, an Arsenal fan currently playing for Portugal Under-21s
ARSENAL have tabled a fresh £28.5million bid for Sporting Lisbon’s … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment

Stephen Fry is away: naked man barks like a dog in the Grantchester tea garden

 

There was a naked man at the Grantchester tea garden near Cambridge. He was barking like a dog and moving about on all fours. At around 1:30pm he left.

Christian Turvill, 20, of … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Which wantaway Liverpool striker’s agent calls him ‘a lion in a cage’?

Football agent of the day is Marco De Marchi. He represents Liverpool striker Fabio Borini. Since signing for Liverpool in July 2012, the £10m Italian has scored 10 Premier League goals – seven of … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Chelsea star Kerry Dixon goes to prison

 

Kerry Dixon, 53, the fromer Chelsea striker, is in prison. He’s serving nine months for punching and kicking 38-year-old Ben Scoble in Dunstable’s Nag’s Head pub.

Judge Barbara Mensah told Luton Crown Court:
“It was quite clear … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Pray for Mo Farah: the doorbell tolls for thee

 

The Times says Mo Farah, the London 2012 Olympic 5,000 and 10,000 metres gold medal-winner, has hired Freud’s, “one of the world’s biggest PR companies”. It won’t make him run any faster, … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment

Madeleine McCann paedophile mania grips Cyrpus

Another summer brings with it another Madeleine McCann front-page news story. The innocent child who became the media’s benchmark for all missing children is evoked on the Daily Star and Daily … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comment

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