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F. Scott Fitzgerald conjugates “cocktail”, 1928.

F. Scott Fitzgerald conjugates “cocktail”, 1928.

 

 

“Present:
I cocktail
thou cocktail
it cocktails
we cocktail
you cocktail
they cocktail.
Imperfect: I was cocktailing
Perfect or past definite: I cocktailed
Past perfect: I have cocktailed
Conditional: I might have cocktailed
Pluperfect: I had … (read more)

Posted: 28th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities | Comment

RIP Mehmet Aksoy: the British filmmaker who showed us the Kurds fight against ISIS

British filmmaker Mehmet Aksoy has been killed. The 32-year-old Londoner of Kurdish descent went to Syria in June, joining the Kurdish militant group, the Kurdish People’s Protection Units (YPG), and … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2017 | In: News | Comment (1)

Chelsea balls: Diego Costa’s writes an open letter to the fans

So farewell, Diego Costa, who has left Chelsea to rejoin Atletico Madrid for £57 million. By way of goodbye, Costa has penned a letter to Chelsea fans. It asserts that … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2017 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Labour is still trying to work out when it’s ok to hate Jews

Labour doesn’t much mind the rampant anti-Semitism in its ranks. Jeremy Corbyn says anti-Semitism is not “a huge problem” within the party. Union leader and Corbyn backer Len McCluskey says … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Parent drives into school with a teacher on his car

Rainier Schoeman adopted a novel form of car sharing as he drove into Winston Churchill School in Woking.  The school had sent all parents a missive telling them not to … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Billionaire donates £200m to investigate ‘baloney’ and spread bad science

 

Mega-rich Henry Samueli, a fan of “integrative medicine” (homeopathy) has donated – get this – 200m to UC Irvine. “The human body is a very complex and highly interconnected system. Therefore … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2017 | In: Money, News | Comment

Arsenal balls: Manchester United park the bus and Chelsea never lose

Arsenal are on the up. With four wins and one draw from their past five games, and with just one goal conceded in that period, Arsene Wenger’s team have recovered … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Manchester City, manchester united, News, Tabloids | Comment

Police use story of climbers stuck on Scafell Pike to attack cannabis users

 

Four walkers from Manchester got stuck on England’s highest mountain last weekend because they were too goofed to walk back down, says the Guardian. Stoned on the Scafell Pike’s 3,210-foot … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment

Jesus gets his cross stuck in the ceiling (video)

In which Jesus is out-foxed by a false ceiling:

… (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Lavinia Woodward’s mitigating factors: she’s not black, male and poor

Lavinia Woodward, 24, has been in court for assaulting her boyfriend – she stabbed him in the leg with a bread knife after throwing a laptop, a glass and a … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Bias balls: Arenal mistime a tackle as West Bromwich Albion howl for a penalty

Media bias: a look at biased football reporting. Last night Arsenal beat West Bromwich Albion 2-0 in the Premier League. Tired at 0-0, Arsenal Shkodran Mustafi appeared to bring down … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

A ‘very disgusting bodily fluid’ was found in soap dispensers

I once worked a biscuit factory. After an hour in the job, I swore never to eat that brand of biscuit again. Whenever I now see someone eating one, I … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment

Instant karma for window-smashing hooligan (warning: graphic)

\Not too sure that’s how karma worked. But still, ouch! … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Poppy monoculture: a draconian silence falls over Wembley

Without any hint of irony the Daily Telegraph hears that England – the national football side rebranded ‘The Three Lions’ – are allowed to wear pictures of poppies on their … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

#taketheknee: Donald Trump gets a bigger hand on Twitter

Donald Trump has big hands. Bigly hands. Huge hands.

Your hand. It’s…photoshopped? Jesus, Donny. pic.twitter.com/2UlF5mSlmn— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 25, 2017

I don't think it is photoshop…that is his hand….Look pic.twitter.com/HegbYZqUnI— … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong-Un fills his trousers

 

 

Spotter: @MrKenShabby … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Monkey hipster has a shave (video)

 

Spotter: YouTube … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Leland Melvin writes and Roseanne Barr flees as Donald Trump reviews NFL games for poor anthem singing

Donald Trump wants sportsmen to stand up straight and give full throat to the US National Anthem. Trump’s directive is not an attempt to best Kim Jong-un in the battle … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Arsenal balls: Sanchez leaves Higuain and joins Manchester United

Hard luck on Arsenal fans: Alexis Sanchez is on his way to Manchester United. The Sun has the scoop, leading with the “TRANSFER EXCLUSIVE”.

 

 

No word on whence the story emerged. … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Punching fascists and other hate crimes: why Astro Labe ‘attacked’ tony Abbott

Astro Labe has been charged with assault for an alleged attack on Australian MP Tony Abbott.  Labe, a 38-year-old bartender and barista, tells Adelaide Now why he did it. Was it … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Violent Australian bigots have the say on same‑sex marriage

In Australia a debate over gay marriage has turned nasty. Australia’s 16m registered voters are answering a question “Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?” We’ll … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Manchester United balls: what Maja Nilsson didn’t say about executive boxes

Seats are pricey at Manchester United. Even a footballer on astronomical wages is upset at the cost of watching the Red Devils. The Daily Mirror says Victor Lindelof’s fiancee “blasts” Man … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment

Donald Trump discovers ‘Nambia’ where Namibia used to be

Donald Trump is in Africa. He’s meeting with the leading of ‘Nambia’.

Presidential? Very. In Nambia, do they speak Austrian?

… (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Ekaterina Lisina has the wold’s longest legs

“So excited when I got this title,” says former jockey basketball player Ekaterina Lisina, 29. The Russian is the woman with the world’s longest Legs – 52 inches long (each!).

“What is good … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Nestlé does not pay nothing for bottling water

You mugs drinking water for ‘hydration’ deserve all you can get. Fruit and vegetable juice are the drink of choice for the health conscious, especially when they’re rebranded as cider, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment

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