Anorak

kittychesterz

kittychesterz - Author Archive

author blurb missing....


kittychesterz's Recent posts:

Moss & Doherty’s Thai Shtick

KATE Moss and Pete Doherty have given us little of substance; even talk of their wedding has been dismissed by official sources as nonsense, mere Thai shtick. But Kate and … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

The Rogarians are coming!

Romania and Bulgaria packs up…
THE Rogarians are coming! The Rogarians are coming…to Spain. “Ten of thousands of Romanians will flee their homeland tomorrow – but they won’t be coming … (read more)

Posted: 31st, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

PHWOARSKI!

PHWOARSKI! It’s “sizzling” Daria Zhukova, the Russian with the “red hot curves”. The Sun has a picture of the 23-year-old Russian who is allegedly involved with oil tycoon and all-round … (read more)

Posted: 18th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

She Is!

SOME say she is pictured from the front because she has just two-dimensions. Some say if you look into her eyes for too long your brains cook and you start … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Anderson Cooper is Live!

WE can now go LIVE! to the scene of hurricane Katrina. Anderson Cooper, son of Glo-Ri-A Van-Der-Bilt, she of the tight designer jeans and name that must forever be sung, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2006 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Gercha!

WELL, I’ll be working hard to reach me target/ To earn a few bob for a day trip down to Margate…” Ah, the old ‘uns are always the good ‘uns. … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Victoria & David Beckham’s Love Boat

THE Daily Express is the paper that stands for REAL VALUES and gives you REAL VALUE for money. That’s not just our opinion. It is also the opinion of the … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Cheryl Tweedy & Ashley Cole’s Wedding

DO we include the adverts or not? Without the features for alcopops, package weddings abroad, bottled water, anti-ageing creams and sickly sweet condensed milk, the wedding of Cheryl Tweedy and … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Germany Attacks!

“ALL it shows is how much Germany fear facing England after the group stage.”

So a team insider tells the Star after “downmarket” German tabloid Bild had the nerve to attack … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Whammo!’

‘DID you leave your car in the Highgate area of north London last Sunday morning and return to find it damaged? Do you want the good news or the less … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Stats Amazing!

‘ALMOST nine in ten of us know that that 98 per cent of statistics are made up. Numbers can be made to prove anything – that the Spice Girls were … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

What A Pair!

‘JORDAN and pint-sized popster Peter Andre will announce their engagement tomorrow, the Sun’s Bizarre column confidently predicts this morning. ”OK, Peter, to see if you need glasses, just … (read more)

Posted: 10th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Kerry Uncovered!

‘THE Hollyoaks hotties aren’t the only bikini-clad British babes who have been gracing the Spanish beaches this summer. Kerry – before she was famous OK! catches … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2004 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Get Off My Land!

‘SAMUEL Pepys may have blown the proceeds from his diaries on pornography, but it is a small drop in the ocean compared with the amount we spend today. … (read more)

Posted: 6th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Alley Oops!

‘IF Jennifer Lopez and Martine McCutcheon are right and a big backside is the true mark of your Hollywood status, Kirstie Alley is the star atop the tree. … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2004 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Evans Above!

‘PAUL seems to have developed a bizarre desire to turn himself into the late Barry Evans (right down to the Ratners jewellery). ‘Twenty quid on Pat at … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, March 2004 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Eau Dear!

‘NO-ONE ever lost money by overestimating the gullibility of the consumer, so news that Coca-Cola is bottling tap water from Sidcup and selling it on as a designer product comes … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets | 0 Comments

Blast Those Horns!

‘HAS anyone else noticed how annoying that woman announcer at Paddington station is? ‘The train now arriving on Platform 14 and part of Platform 15…’ … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

If music be the food of love…

‘PEACE at last! A British-based company has come up with a way of healing the world’s divisions and putting an end to the daily death toll around the world – … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2004 | In: Strange But True | 0 Comments

Mars Attacks!

‘HAVING discovered that King George III was not really mad and that boars make wonderful dinner companions, we take a trip to the Scottish town of Cowie Harbour. … (read more)

Posted: 26th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Bin Jokin’

‘A SIGN has recently gone up in the dingy basement that passes for an office in Anorak Towers reminding staff not to say anything derogatory about Genghis Khan for fear … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, December 2003 | In: Broadsheets | 0 Comments

What A Choker!

‘IF you spend £10m on a choker, you would definitely expect it to do what it says it does on the tin – or, in this case, the 18 carat … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids | 0 Comments

Coming Soon…

‘THE average young woman in Britain is £4,500 in debt, according to newly-released statistics – and the problem is only going to get worse. Alternatively, buy 400 Rabbits … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Nail In The Coughin’

‘ONE person who, one imagines, will not be back to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? is Major Charles Ingram, but the three contestants who … (read more)

Posted: 9th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Summer Lovin’

‘ONE woman who has had no surgery is Lucy Pinder, and today she is flying the flag in a Union Jack bikini. Anchors away Lucy occupies … (read more)

Posted: 26th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Contact Us Writers