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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Is Chris Froome better than Bradley Wiggins?

TWO years on the bounce, and Britain has seen one of its own winning the prestigious, gruelling Tour De France. First came Bradley Wiggins, briefly making sideburns fashionable, cod-mod, into … (read more)

Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Sports | 1 Comment

John Cleese attacks the bad press while talking to the good press

WHILE promoting his new Disney film – to the press – John Cleese decided to go on the attack… about the press.

Speaking to the Guardian in a video interview – … (read more)

Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Leads cast in Fifty Shades Of Grey… so start imagining them naked now

GOOD news everybody! The lead roles of Fifty Shades of Grey have been announced! You haven’t heard of them, but no matter, because the main bit of their job is … (read more)

Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Books, Film | 0 Comments

Bitter at Ozil’s move to Arsenal Spurs fans start petition because Real Madrid gave them loads of money

IN a not at all mental way, Tottenham Hotspur fans have launched one of those thoroughly useful Change.org petitions, calling for their club to end its “strategic partnership” with Real Madrid … (read more)

Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Sports | 9 Comments

Would you like to see John Lennon cloned back to life from a manky tooth?

THANKS to a preserved rotten tooth, a Canadian dentist wants to bring back the late John Lennon back via the scientific miracle of cloning.

Imagine.

Edmonton tooth-botherer, Michael Zuk, claims he has sent … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | 2 Comments

Swan arrested as spy in Egypt

ACCORDING to English folklore, the people of Hartlepool once hung a monkey to death because they thought it was a French spy during the Napoleonic wars.

That kind of nonsense couldn’t … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2013 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Manchester United fans start ‘Moyes Out’ campaign

MANCHESTER United fans have started a campaign to get David Moyes sacked from his role as manager at Old Trafford, a mere three games after he started work.

Two months of … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Sports | 3 Comments

Completely mental and brilliant freshman delivers epic welcome speech!

AMERICANS, as we know, like to do things a little larger than everywhere else… and boy howdy, the student who gave a welcome speech to new starters at Atlanta’s Georgia Tech … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Is this the worst wedding proposal ever?

PROPOSING is a tricky business.

And so, to a man who decides to go into a shopping centre (glamorous!) with his girlfriend, before grabbing the mic like he’s Ghostface Killah, hooting … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Strange But True | 0 Comments

Don’t know what Twerking is? Let Morgan Freeman explain…

EVERYONE has learned a new word this week – ‘twerking’. Everyone is tittering away about it and saying ‘I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TWERKING IS!’, almost constantly.

And so, to clear … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, Music | 0 Comments

Surprisingly, Catherine Zeta Jones splits up with the elderly Michael Douglas

NO-ONE saw Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas getting together. He, older than Mumm-Ra, she, precious and dead-eyed, made for one of the most unusual couples in Hollywood.

With huge surprise, it turns … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Man drinks corpse toe and gets $500 fine to boot

PEOPLE complain when they find a fly in their soup. Imagine for a minute, if you ordered a drink at a bar and there was a cadaver’s toe in it.

Well, … (read more)

Posted: 1st, September 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | 0 Comments

Miley Cyrus: Shock as pop star dances provocatively in bikini

EVERYONE is talking about Miley Cyrus today. Why? Well, in a move which is incredibly unusual for pop stars, she danced provocatively while wearing not many clothes while singing a … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2013 | In: Celebrities, Music | 2 Comments

Bigfoot is real! Maybe! Watch this Sasquatch video and decide for yourself

NUTTERS will be going Sasquatch mad again as a video has appeared online which appears to show Bigfoot mooching around on top of a massive hill in the Canadian wilderness.

The short … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2013 | In: Strange But True | 0 Comments

Moyes complains about imagined anti-Manchester United conspiracy

WHEN David Moyes was announced as the new Manchester United manager, many wondered if he’d be the perfect fit for the club. Thanks to his complaints about an imagined conspiracy against … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2013 | In: Sports | 2 Comments

Hemel Hemstead is the ugliest place in UK

CITIZENS of Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire. Great news. Your little new town has been named the ugliest town in the whole of the UK. It’s worse than places in the Lake District that … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Channel 4 turns One Direction fans into its latest freak show

NO-ONE loves music more than teenagers and, no-one loves One Direction more than teenager girls. With that, Channel 4 decided to air a documentary about 1D’s fans, painting them in … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2013 | In: Music, TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Russian athlete defends anti-gay laws

RUSSIA’S anti-gay laws are, clearly, bloody preposterous. Quite why Putin & Co would be so worried about who-fancies-who is beyond any logic or reason. Making the whole thing weirder and worse … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2013 | In: Politicians, Sports | 3 Comments

1 in 10 couples haven’t had sober sex for 6 months

BRITISH people, as we know, are furiously repressed and get weird at the mention of genitalia and certainly come over all funny at the thought of having to be naked … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | 0 Comments

Jeremy Paxman issues beard statement to the pognophobic BBC

THERE has been quite the hubbub about Jeremy Paxman and his beard this week, with some people near-orgasmic in praise, while others somersaulting in disgust.

The real news is that, current … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Channel 4 to broadcast from a public toilet

REMEMBER the story about the Glasgow nightclub called Shimmy, that got closed down because it let people spy on the girls toilets through a pervy mirror?

Everyone was pretty outraged that … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Worinelve! The latest instalment of Wolverine, apparently…

DOES anyone fancy going to the cinema to watch Human Ghjac in the latest blockbuster, Worinelve? Obviously, you haven’t heard of either of those things, but look at the photo … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Film | 0 Comments

Eddie Shah says underage girls can be blamed for some rapes

TODAY founder, Eddy Shah, has said that under-age girls who engage in consensual sex can be “to blame” for any rapes that come their way. He was offering his opinion on … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | 1 Comment

Lionel Messi signs for English club

PUT a dream football team together and, chances are, a few of the same names will crop up. Pele, Maradona and Messi will inevitably appear as people argue about formations … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Sports | 0 Comments

Russian State TV says gays have hearts that aren’t fit for life

RUSSIAN politicians hate gay people. Quite why, it isn’t clear. Have they even heard Mighty Real by Sylvester? Clearly not because that’s the greatest pop song ever made and on … (read more)

Posted: 13th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | 2 Comments

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