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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Nazi-confused French National Front threaten to sue Madonna over Swastika image

MADONNA is in trouble with the French National Front. They might be suing her after she showed a video of party leader – Marine Le Pen – with a swastika on … (read more)

Posted: 16th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Catholic school for Suri Cruise, because they’re not every bit as distressing as Scientology

THE split between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has largely focused on the spiritual wellbeing of Suri, their daughter. Most mutterings have said that Katie didn’t want Suri going through … (read more)

Posted: 16th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Target refuse to stock Frank Ocean’s album… nothing to do homosexuality, obviously

EVEN though Frank Ocean’s ‘coming out’ was a huge relief for some (for others, not so much because he’s far from the first non-straight person to be involved in the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Justin Bieber sued for $9.2m by ear-owner – Stacey Wilson Betts has heard enough

PEOPLE with fully functioning ears have been complaining about Justin Bieber for some time now. The gyrating foetus is responsible for a series of songs that are baffling to the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kate Middleton and Prince William: No ‘sex for months’

ARE you one of those people who preoccupies themselves with how much and what kind of sex other people are having? Is this because there’s so little of it in … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lady GaGa: S&M pipe smoker

COMPARATIVELY speaking, Lady GaGa has been off the radar for a while now, making the alarming decision to ‘concentrate on her music’. This means we’ve got seen her in an … (read more)

Posted: 12th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Prince William and Kate Middleton angry they’re treated like any other honeymooning celebs

CELEBRITIES get stalked like prey, night and day. It’s been like that for years and unless there’s a change in behaviour or the law, then it’ll stay that way.

Not that … (read more)

Posted: 12th, July 2012 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment

Lily Allen reports racist soldier to MoD

THINGS have been a little quieter since Lily Allen became a mother. Shame really, given that we actively need a controversial, erudite popstar about the place. Mercifully, we didn’t have … (read more)

Posted: 11th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Kanye West has a press-induced breakdown on stage

IT is fair to say that Kanye West is a highly strung man. At times, he’s unbearably sweet, while at other times, he’s absolutely barking mad. He switches between gloomy, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce settlement and the Suri Clause

PRETTY much everyone wants the divorce between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to result in a public mudslinging event, complete with harrowing fallout of despicable behaviour. We thrive on it. … (read more)

Posted: 10th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Katie Holmes still a Scientologist, but Tom Cruise treated her like Pinocchio

THE break-up of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is not your average celebrity split. For the most part, couples use it as a promotional tool with various front-pages running stories … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Dappy gets in trouble for showing support to the murderer of Philip Lawrence

HEY! You know what’s a good idea? Being a celebrity and sticking up for someone who murdered headteacher Philip Lawrence! In fact, it is such a good idea to show support … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Tom Cruise: Highest paid actor and general monster to Katie Holmes and Dawson’s Creek shark

UNFATHOMABLY, Tom Cruise has been announced as the highest paid actor in the world, according to Forbes magazine’s annual list. Surely he’s been in bugger-all films for some time now, … (read more)

Posted: 4th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Beckham hates Spice Girls ‘bad vibes’

EVERY woman in the mid-twenties went barking crazy when the Spice Girls got back together to launch their musical. However, the reunion was laced with undiluted hate and the gloves … (read more)

Posted: 4th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Is Gary Lineker leaving Match of the Day?

THE BBC’s Match of the Day may never be the same again, as it is rumoured that Gary Lineker will be taking his creosote tan, despairing lack of buttons on … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, July 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

Mel Gibson’s own stepmother Teddy Joye Hicks Gibson get restraining order against him

TROUBLED is a word that has followed Mel Gibson around for some time now. When he’s not on-tape going postal, or indeed, threatening his ex with all-manner of vile things, … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lauryn Hill doesn’t pay tax and gives peculiar reasons for not doing so, while looking at prison

EVEN though Lauryn Hill possibly made the greatest debut album of all time, she’s still as mad as a bag of talking rocks. She’s been collared for not paying her … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Scientologist spies sent to follow Katie Holmes after Tom Cruise split

OVER the weekend, the New York Post ran one of the most wonderfully salacious articles ever written about Scientology, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. If you don’t want to read … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Police leak Rihanna photo to TMZ, but get off the hook?

LEAKING pictures to the press is, obviously, very common indeed. If you get them by hacking an email, you’ll get thrown in prison. But what happens if you’re two police … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

World collapses in shock as Snoop Dogg gets detained in possession of weed

STONERS are fantastically forgetful aren’t they? You can imagine that, half of the time they get nicked while in possession, they’ve completely forgotten they had some weed about their person … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

$1million for Chris Brown versus Drake in a boxing ring

DESPITE the fact Chris Brown and Drake are two of the lamest humans on the planet, barely able to fight their way out of a sleeping bag, they’ve been indulging … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Linkin Park and Bieber battle it out to rule supreme over worst week in music, ever

COULD we be in the middle of the worst week in music ever? You may be able to think of other lousy periods in music history, but this one looks … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: Music | Comment

Even more claims appear about John Travolta!

ONE imagines that there are now people in newsrooms that work 9-5 trying to keep track of all the developments concerning John Travolta. It appears there’s a country’s worth of … (read more)

Posted: 27th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Adele’s music can be blamed on her gay chum getting off with her boyfriend

UNFATHOMABLY, Adele’s ’21’ went and conquered the world. It’s not a bad album per se, but it isn’t exactly any good. It’s the musical equivalent of a baked potato with … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kim Kardashian: Potential is more lucrative the marriage

POTENTIAL is a funny thing. If you never fulfil it, you’re always in a position where you can be interesting without the fear of failure or ridicule. And Kim Kardashian’s … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

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