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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Travolta gay claims crop up again, this time, with added libel

GAY or not, John Travolta is being put through the media mangle at the moment while everyone speculates about his sexuality. All we need now is an invite from Oprah … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Emma Stone pretends to be flattered at creepy declaration of love from Jim Carrey

CELEBRITIES, as you know, are thoroughly mental. The more famous they become, the weirder they get. Take Jim Carrey for example. For some inexplicable reason, he decided to take to … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kanye West to make animal noises album, which is fine, clearly

SUPREME attention-seeker (self-proclaimed, obviously) Kanye West is sometimes brilliant (“My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”) and sometimes complete dreck (“Watch The Throne”, Kim Kardashian) is reportedly about to embark on a … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Alec Baldwin speaks out about lamping photographer

PAPARAZZI photographers are, to all intents and purposes, scumbags. However, most people in Britain are awfully interested in what they do, making absolutely everyone scumbags by default. And who has … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Prepare to vomit: Jodie Marsh sending mucky texts to Frankie Cocozza

THAT feeling of nausea you feel every single second of every single stinking day is about to erupt out of your eyes and nose in a disgusting, almost beautiful, flowing … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Tour for The Voice gets cancelled, unsurprisingly

REMEMBER The Voice? Do you remember the winner? Did you even hear the song? Chances are, the only thing you had to do with The Voice, was continual puzzlement at … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Tulisa Contostavlos’ secret arrest after stabbing

BEING Tulisa isn’t easy. First off, you have to be in a band with Dappy and secondly, you have to defend yourself after someone crassly leaks a blow-job video of … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

R Kelly is a wanted man, again!

AMERICA’S IRS are currently at R Kelly’s door shouting “Can we get a toot, toot? Beep beep?” and asking where to go after the show and the after party because, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Rot-oh! Hugh Laurie: RoboCop

DID you know that there was a remake of RoboCop afoot? You have 20 seconds to comply with your answer. Did you know that Hugh Laurie is likely to be … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

GaGa shows off black eye and has a pop at Madonna in the process

LADY GAGA has tweeted the picture of the black eye she got after being smacked about the head with a metal pole during a gig.

She tweeted: “Emerging from hours of … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Rihanna likens The Sun to a ‘baggy ass condom’

TIRESOME she may be, but Rihanna is showing good value this week as she takes her claws out and aims them directly at the heart of The Sun. Of late, … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lindsay Lohan lied to the police? Prison beckons? As if….

JUST when Lindsay Lohan looked like she’d stopped being in trouble, the long hook of bother has felt up her collar again. So, when she’s not being called a jewel … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Lauryn Hill to go to jail?

DESPITE being the only talented one in The Fugees (no-one remembers Pras and Wyclef’s obvious lack of talent is underlined in will.i.am stealing his career off him), Lauryn Hill hasn’t … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Travolta had gay relationship with pilot? Doug Gotterba alleges

CAN we make a ‘look who’s talking now?’ joke concerning the myriad of men who have claimed to have had some kind of sexual encounter with John Travolta? Doesn’t matter … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

John Mayer hits out at Taylor Swift over world’s lamest beef track

HIP HOP is well known for well-publicised beefs, but now we’ve got one between two of the lamest, wettest humans in the known universe. You see, Taylor Swift wrote a … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2012 | In: Music | Comment

Justin Bieber suffers concussion because he’s stupid

NOT content with getting into a spot of bother with a paparazzo, allegedly duffing him up with his tiny fists, Justin Bieber has ended up concussed in Paris. Did the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Justin Bieber could spend 6 months in prison, which would be funny

YOU know how Justin Bieber has been accused of roughhousing a photographer? Well, presumably hoping it would all go away like that girl who claimed she’d had his baby, this case … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Mary J. Blige: Charity scammer?

SHE may have given soul music a shot in the arm by introducing it to hip hop, but Mary J. Blige could be in a mountain of trouble. Mary J. … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell regrettably not dead

TWO of the most hateful humans to ever evolve from apes, Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell, played in a charity football match last night and we’re sad to report that … (read more)

Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Professor Green wants to throw everyone from TOWIE in prison

HE may not have gone through any kind of medical school or somesuch, but Professor Green is – remarkably – saying very wise things. This is despite the fact that, when … (read more)

Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Watchmen actress to play Debbie Harry on the silver screen?

PUNK is a sly old slag. It pretended to be anti-establishment (ie, anti-corporate and therefore, anti-money) when all along, it was just waiting to cash-in and start shouting its mouth … (read more)

Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Film | Comment

Justin Bieber wanted by police after paparazzi gets hospitalised

WE’VE (that’d be the Royal ‘we’ of sneering pop-culture writers) all been waiting for Justin Bieber to go full-fat brat and, well, it seems to be happening. After being a … (read more)

Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

List-makers add Elton John to 2013 deathpool sheets

DEATH. As a dark Shadow, beckons his prey into the unknown by a soft whisper in the soul. Or, in the case of Elton John, something that will be of great … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Sharon Stone sued by former nanny for being a bit ‘racist’ and generally ‘abusive’

BASIC INSTINCT showed us Sharon Stone’s genitals and Total Recall showed us her boobies (while Sliver showed us so much that we could all see what she’d had for her … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

James Bond is nothing but a beer-swilling sell-out

YOU may think James Bond is a suave, sophisticated man. That’s probably because he drives expensive sports cars, travels in luxury, always has a nice watch on and is the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Film | Comment

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