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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Damon Albarn strops out of Blur sessions

BLUR managed to endure where many other Britpop and 90s indie bands faltered. That’s mainly because Blur are considerably better than Shed Seven, Menswear, Echobelly, Molly Halfhead, Strangelove, Powder, Laxton’s … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, May 2012 | In: Music | 0 Comments

The Goonies: The sequel? The musical?

EVER wondered what Sloth is up to these days? Due to his crippling brain-injury suffered at the hands of his clumsy parents (probably getting released from jail around now for … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, May 2012 | In: Film | 0 Comments

UN banned Sacha Baron Cohen from filming at UN because he might ‘upset dictators’

SACHA BARON COHEN is not a man that appears from behind his disguises very often, but he’s peered out from beneath his comedy facial fuzz to talk about his latest … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Will Smith slaps reporter Vitalii Sediuk in the face after kiss attempt

HEY! You know Will Smith right? That loveable wag who gave us the soundtrack to summer summer summertime and starred in a buncha films ranging from ‘okay’ to ‘dreadful’. Well, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Gym employee joins long queue of people touched by Travolta

HEY! John Travolta! Everyone kinda assumed you were gay, or at least bi, so don’t worry about your career! However, there’s a small matter of taking people’s sex without exactly … (read more)

Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Uh-oh! More developments with John Travolta and the reverse massagers!

MASSAGE is always a word that has raised the eyebrows of the eternally mucky minded, but since John Travolta got accused of all-manner of stuff, the world has been introduced … (read more)

Posted: 16th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

TV Review: Sex Lies And Rinsing Guys, Channel 4

LAST Night’s TV: Rinsing Guys – Channel 4:

MANIPULATION for gain is not a modern invention. Snake Oil vendors flogged bottles of nothing to people with bold claims and got the … (read more)

Posted: 16th, May 2012 | In: TV & Radio | 4 Comments

Kristen Stewart finally confirms Robert Pattinson as boyfriend, not that anyone cares anymore

DESPITE being the single most boring couple in the entirety of absolutely everything, the world has taken a peculiar interest in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and whether or not … (read more)

Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Louis Walsh attacks Will.I.Am over The Voice in world’s most weak-wristed feud

THE VOICE is irritating enough in its ‘We’re Yet Another Not-X-Factor Show!’ stance. Add Jessie J to the mix and its a wonder the whole of Britain hasn’t chucked itself … (read more)

Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: TV & Radio | 1 Comment

Queen to continue elaborate gravedigging of Freddie Mercury with hologram japes

POOR old Queen. They’ve been at a loss since Freddie Mercury – the only one in the group with a modicum of talent or charisma – went and selfishly died, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Music | 0 Comments

Mark Ronson had sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s as a child, which starts to explain a few things…

WITHOUT doubt, you will have looked at Mark Ronson’s face at some point and tried to climb through your TV screen or magazine page in an attempt to kick it … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Rihanna unfollows Chris Brown… not because he slapped her about, but because of a song

CHRIS BROWN may be the most jarring goon in the world, but Rihanna still stuck by him. Even though he knocked ten shades of shit out of her, she thought … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Lost star gets charged with DUI… and it isn’t his first brush with boozy bother

YOU may have watched Lost or Party Of Five, looked at Matthew Fox and thought ‘he seems like a nice man… a nice, hunky, stubbly dreamboat of a man’. Well, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Britney Spears gets $15m X Factor deal, but she still isn’t allowed a cash card

SIMON COWELL loves ’em mental. Look at the women he’s surrounded himself with. Paula ‘mental’ Abdul. Cheryl ‘toilet attendant’ Cole. Nicole ‘the only woman who could possibly find Lewis Hamilton … (read more)

Posted: 10th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Against Me! singer to change gender even though America can’t handle the idea of gay marriage

WHILE half of America shouts loudly about how much it hates the gays, it is with unimaginable bravery that Against Me! singer, Tom Gabel, announces that after years of living … (read more)

Posted: 10th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 4 Comments

More masseuses to accuse Travolta of indecent proposals

JOHN TRAVOLTA has invariably had a rough 24 hours after being accused of molesting some poor masseuse in one of the most hilariously worded legal complaints in history. The length … (read more)

Posted: 9th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 3 Comments

Hey Ya? Hey Joe? OutKast’s André 3000 to play Jimi Hendrix

LOOKING out at the world, there’s not many people who have matched Jimi Hendrix’s joy of raiding the dressing-up box and living life as a pop star peacock, with wild … (read more)

Posted: 8th, May 2012 | In: Music | 1 Comment

John Travolta sued for allegedly trying to fiddle with the wang of a masseuse! (photos)

YOU’VE heard the rumours about John Travolta right? The rumours are so loud that these days, they pretty much drown out the day job. One author has been very vocal … (read more)

Posted: 8th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Adam Yauch: MCA RIP

THE triangle is the strongest of all the shapes, so it was fitting that hip hop powerhouse The Beastie Boys were three sides strong. However, the trio… nay, the whole … (read more)

Posted: 4th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | 1 Comment

Lady GaGa dumps vampire boyfriend

COMPARED to other gigantic popstars currently, Lady GaGa has been refreshingly quiet. Relatively speaking, she’s been away from the spotlight long enough for people to stop being reminded how irritating … (read more)

Posted: 4th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Michael Jackson to give Pepsi some corpsey goodness again!

WHEN you think of Michael Jackson and Pepsi in the same sentence, you’ll invariably get a whiff of burned hair and flesh on the wind. Of course, MJ is pretty … (read more)

Posted: 4th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Amanda Seyfried reveals all as Lovelace (photos)

THE role of Linda Lovelace, the starring role in new biopic Lovelace, was initially supposed to go to Lindsay Lohan, but alas, she has all those ‘legal woes’ shall we … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Is Ashton Kutcher a massive racist?

CLEARLY it wasn’t enough for Ashton Kutcher to break the withered heart of Demi Moore by throwing his wang up a young woman on the night of his wedding anniversary. … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Danny From The Voice turned down Cameron Diaz’s sexual advances

DESPITE the fact he’s got so much hair and so little face, thereby making him look like a beefeater peering out of a grizzly bear’s arse, Danny O’Donoghue from The Voice … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Bobby Brown didn’t kill Whitney Houston, okay?

WHEN Whitney Houston died, everyone looked straight at Bobby Brown and start muttering about how this was all his stupid fault, like he was the guy forcibly sticking huge amounts of … (read more)

Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

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