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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Finally! Now we know that The Simpsons live in Oregon!

ONE of the most idly pondered about mysteries in modern pop-culture is: Just which state is The Simpsons’ town of Springfield in? Well, Matt Groening has now decided that we should … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Was Lindsay Lohan punching a woman or watching ‘Homeland’?

IT doesn’t matter where Lindsay Lohan is in the world, if she takes one step forward or one step back, she finds herself in trouble. And so, having only been … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Whitney Houston had a number of drugs in her system when she died, which is incredibly surprising for all

SOME years ago, Whitney Houston said; “the biggest devil is me. I’m either my best friend or my worst enemy.” However, people have been prone to blaming everyone else for the … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Dane Bowers & Pal, accused of rape

REMEMBER when Dane Bowers was a popstar? Us neither. All we can ever remember is his various baffling TV appearances and that awful, awful video where he stuck his big … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

If Anchorman 2 wasn’t bad enough, now there’s going to be Dumb And Dumber 2 as well

LADIES and gentlemen, it’s the return of the idiot! That’s right – getting your brain massaged by comedy so precise, it’s like eye surgery and biting satire is gone, once … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cheryl Cole dreams of marrying Prince Harry

IT IS all very well being a pop princess, but being an actual princess is far superior. Presumably, as a member of a royal family, you get more than mere … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

The Beatles children to form a truly awful band? The Drab Four are here

EVERYTHING ever is always spoiled by the introduction of children. Muppets – great. Muppet Babies – awful. Scooby Doo – excellent caper with slight counterculture vibes. The introduction of Scrappy … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (11)

Battle of the Mels: Spice Girls at war over invariably awful musical

WRITING a musical is hard work, so why not skip much of the creative process and based it around the back catalogue of a campy, successful band? We’re looking at … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ashton Kutcher to play Steve Jobs in humourless biopic

THE past 12 months has been the year of men upsetting women, but enjoying something of a renaissance with their careers on the back of it. Chris ‘knocks seven shades … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, April 2012 | In: Film | Comment (1)

Charlie Sheen wishes his massive breakdown on anyone else

TIGER BLOOD is nothing something Charlie Sheen runs on any longer, which is a shame because he was kinda fun when he looked like he was about to die from … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito to follow up Twins with Eddie Murphy in Triplets

WHAT you’re about to read is one of the most disturbing and potentially brilliant things you’ll ever digest. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito will be revisiting their awful family comedy, Twins. … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2012 | In: Film | Comment

Simpletons thrilled as Anchorman 2 is announced by Will Ferrell

WHILE there is nothing quite as funny as an unexpected fart, there’s comedy that’s so puerile that you have to wonder what kind of person actively seeks it out and … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michelle Williams and Jason Segel become coolest couple in the world?

CELEBRITY couples are, for the most part, a gigantic pain in the balls. They parade themselves like parrots, squawking away at the paps and flaunting their extraordinary lives at us … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bobby Brown arrested for DUI, and announces Vegas wedding to Whitney Houston

WHILE Whitney Houston has barely cooled the soil around her in the ground, the circus that blighted her life continues apace. Mere days after the coroner announced that Whitney died of … (read more)

Posted: 27th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rihanna and Ashton Kutcher are a couple and moving to the UK (WHAT?) – photos

OKAY. Here’s a bit of news that has come from absolutely nowhere – Rihanna and Ashton Kutcher are apparently an item. A baffling, ill-matched, brain melting item. And furthermore, they’ve … (read more)

Posted: 26th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Simon Cowell finds intruder in his house! Everyone looks at Louis Walsh

IMAGINE the horror of someone breaking into your house with a mental look in their eye. Of course, if it happened to you, no-one actually cares. You have to be … (read more)

Posted: 26th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Kim Kardashian attacked by bomb on red carpet

IMAGINE getting a bomb thrown at you! Well, we’re not talking about Archduke Franz Ferdinand, but poor Kim Kardashian who has had a grenade thrown at her hair and clothes … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Scarlett Johansson email hacker Christopher Chaney is guilty of making the internet happy

THE Florida man who goes by the name of Christopher Chaney is going to plead guilty after being accused of hacking into the email accounts of film stars Scarlett Johansson, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Kim Kardashian is so low that even Jason Statham feels like he can slag her off

SINCE Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries died like a mayfly, everyone has had it in for her. In fairness, everyone has always thought she was a vapid nincompoop, but … (read more)

Posted: 21st, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

George Michael reschedules tour now that Heather Trott is dying

ONE of the more peculiar elements of EastEnders is the subplot that Heather Trott really, really, really likes George Michael. She once hid in a garden and sniffed a yoghurt … (read more)

Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ashton Kutcher is being sent into space, away from humanity

SPACE is the final frontier apparently. It is also destined to be the resting place of imbecilic goof factory, Ashton Kutcher who is probably going to end up dead and … (read more)

Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Mick and Keef bury hatchet after ‘tiny todger’ comment

HAVE you seen Keef Richards’ wang? It’s there online should you want to look for it. No, we don’t blame you for not having searched it already. However, if you … (read more)

Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Rosie O’Donnell is some kind of hissy monster and gets fired from talkshow

WE all know that people in showbusiness can be fantastically unhinged. Detached from reality, they throw enormous tantrums when the nigh-on impossible isn’t delivered to them on a daily basis. … (read more)

Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rihanna finally speaks out about Chris Brown collaboration

RIHANNA is an infuriating human being, mainly because she’s always in earshot talking about sex. Constantly. Unswervingly. Sex sex sex sex sex until its as boring as talking about shoe-horns. … (read more)

Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Russell Brand arrested in iPhone ‘tribute to Steve Jobs’

SINCE Russell Brand split up with Katy Perry, the pair have retained something of a dignified silence, which of course, is no good to anyone. Now at least, some vague … (read more)

Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

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