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Kim Kardashian wants a little privacy for her next wedding (stop laughing)

THE last wedding Kim Kardashian had was televised in her reality show, prompting a marriage that lasted around the same length of time it takes a mayfly to live and … (read more)

Posted: 15th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | 0 Comments

Insane student asks Justin Bieber to be his ‘wingman’

CELEBRITIES like Justin Bieber tend to be quite busy. When they’e not working, they’re promoting. When they’re not promoting, they’re being chased by the press. When all that subsides, there’s … (read more)

Posted: 15th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi gets romantic with… her brother Nick?

UH-OH. Whitney Houston was not a woman you could describe as ‘together’. The same goes for Bobby Brown, as the pair lived out a tempestuous relationship that swirled around mistreatment, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 4 Comments

Celine Dion’s throat is regrettably healing

TERRIBLE news. Just when you thought it was safe to leave the house again (unless you live in Syria or you’re an Iraqi emo), devastating newsbombs are dropped in your … (read more)

Posted: 13th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Tramps are now made useful by being turned into WiFi hotspots

TRAMPS. They’ve got an awful life. When the weather’s bad, they feel it most. The die in doorways and have septic extremities. And to think, they’ve got the paucity to … (read more)

Posted: 13th, March 2012 | In: Key Posts, Technology | 0 Comments

Stephen Hawking to appear in unswervingly awful Big Bang Theory

SWITCH him off now! Stephen Hawking has clearly lost his mind completely! He’s clearly not well! Why? Because, according to rumours, Professor Hawking is about to make a guest appearance in CBS … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Madonna chides Karl Lagerfeld over Adele comments

MADONNA is a woman who has courted controversy for gain in the past, just like a stream of celebrities have done before and since. However, she’s obviously feeling a bit … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Denise Richards is not a prostitute, apparently (Charlie Sheen gutted?)

TAKING money to indulge in sexual practices. That’s what a prostitute does, right? Well, actress Denise Richards would like to point out that she’s not a lady of the night. … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

If Justin Bieber doesn’t grow a beard, Selena Gomez is dumping him

JUSTIN BIEBER may not have fully formed his fontanelle yet, but that isn’t stopping his wickle girlfriend from demanding some manly action from him.

No, they’re not going to second-base yet, but … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Stacey Solomon smokes through pregnancy and gets shouted at by the whole world

THICK but nice. That’s what everyone thinks of Stacey Solomon isn’t it? You wouldn’t trust her to perform eye-surgery but you would absolutely let her meet your nana. She’s unswervingly sweet … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 4 Comments

Michael Jackson files stolen by hackers?

WHEN someone says that they’ve landed a load of files of Michael Jackson’s be hacking, you can be forgiven for immediately thinking that some smut will turn up in the … (read more)

Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Bobby Brown lived in a car so Whitney Houston could go to rehab

SO, now that Whitney Houston is dead, we can all say what we like about her because she has no feelings. What gossip is floating around about her? Well, first … (read more)

Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Engelbert Humperdinck to represent the UK at Eurovision

EUROVISION is getting among everyone again, and in the latest desperate, needy grab at being loved, the UK has tried to second guess the tastes of Europe by going insultingly … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Does everyone know about Zac Efron’s public condom?

SO, you’re Zav Efron on the red carpet and being upstaged by all-manner of women showing their legs and arse-cleavage in their expensive gowns. Thinking that no-one in their right … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Pregnant Chantelle still shagging Alex Reid despite being massively pregnant because he might cheat on her

CLASSY news time and Britain’s most simultaneously gruesome but haplessly likeable couple (likeable in a way that, they’re so blissfully stupid that you can’t help but wish them well after … (read more)

Posted: 1st, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Zayn Quits One Direction!

NOT ones to entirely mock the bereaving, Zayn Malik is absolutely and definitely quitting One Direction.

That’s right! He’s left the US tour and won’t be coming back! For a short … (read more)

Posted: 1st, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Remarkably, someone has had condomless sex with Snooki

IF you’ve ever seen Jersey Shore (what do you mean you haven’t? Reading books were you and sneering at everyone because you’re too cool to have a Facebook account?), you’ll … (read more)

Posted: 29th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 2 Comments

Brazilian man uses Jack Nicholson fake ID like a massive dumbass

LET us imagine for one second, that you wanted to open a bank account. Nothing unusual there. Now, imagine further, that you’ve got a chequered past and you might have … (read more)

Posted: 29th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Simon Cowell: Now single – no super-injunction required

LOCK UP precisely no-one because Simon Cowell’s penis is acting as a woman dowser again after reports suggest that he’s gone and split-up with his fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy. This is according … (read more)

Posted: 28th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 2 Comments

Chuck Norris goes beyond meme after getting his own Slovakian bridge

THERE are many celebrities brought back to life through memes. Chuck Norris is a fine example of that. There’s a whole host of memes based on how hard he is. … (read more)

Posted: 28th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Everyone cries ‘Who Is Billy Crystal?’ as he blacks-up for Oscars

CELEBRITY is a funny thing. It’s fleeting and elusive and, even if you’re Billy Crystal who starred in That Orgasm Scene From When Harry Met Sally, as well as hosting … (read more)

Posted: 27th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Taylor Swift invites cancer patient to be her date, as if he hasn’t suffered enough

CANCER is a terrible, awful disease. When celebrities get it, they immediately become brave whereas civilians are just dreadfully unlucky. What about when the two worlds collide? Well, Taylor Swift … (read more)

Posted: 27th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 5 Comments

Chris Brown slurs Christal Spann before stealing her phone?

TEAM BREEZY may be willing to defend Chris Brown against almost anything, but surely the rest of the known universe is getting tired of him already? First he beat Rihanna … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 7 Comments

WWE Wrestler versus Chris Brown – The Rihanna Smack Down

WHEN men hear about a woman getting beaten up by their spouse, it isn’t uncommon for them to say things like ‘violence is wrong’, before outwardly wishing to beat the … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Britney Spears to lose her bap on X Factor panel?

JUST when Simon Cowell had got rid of one insane, glassy-eyed mentalist in the shape of Paula Abdul, he’s got another one making the drunken come-on eye at him. That’s … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

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