Anorak

Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Phoenix Nights To Shout Garlic Bread Pointlessly At You From The Silver Screen, Potentially

GARLIC BREAD! Hahaha! Garlic bread, of course, is the food that made everyone from outside of Bolton, believe that everyone from inside of Bolton thought it was the most glamorous, … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 1 Comment

Paul McCartney: All He Needs Is Wedding Cake

WAVE a peace sign! Why? Because it shows you just how many Beatles are left on this dreadful planet of ours! And, once again, Paul McCartney is showing the world … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 1 Comment

Lindsay Lohan Back On Form As She’s Accused Of Lobbing A Drink At A Photographer!

TIGER BLOOD may no longer be running through Charlie Sheen’s veins, now that he’s announced he’s sober/tedious, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up on gawping at tragic … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Should The Next Doctor Who Be A Woman?

NERDS! How do you feel about the prospect of Doctor Who having boobs? Essentially, the question here is that, should there be a Doctor Whoman, would you be angry, disappointed … (read more)

Posted: 14th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 1 Comment

Sky News Breaks Down Hysterically During Paper Review

ROLLING NEWS is a surreal thing to tackle at the best of times, but what happens when it breaks down into fits of hooting, gusset-dampening laughter?

Of course, it’s absolutely brilliant.

During … (read more)

Posted: 13th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 11 Comments

Brian May Considered Suicide But Still Lives On In Those Clogs Of His

KEEN star-gazer and Tory brown-nose, Brian May From Queen, has admitted to irritated journalists, that he considered killing himself following the death of Freddie Mercury in 1991.

Sadly, he talked himself … (read more)

Posted: 13th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 6 Comments

Jermaine Jackson Shocked At How Dead Michael Jackson Didn’t Look Very Well: Photos

THE JACKSONS are not a normal family. For starters, they had a belt-thrash happy pappy who tormented and bullied them ’til they sang like champions and, well, grew up warped.

Then, … (read more)

Posted: 12th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Brave Liver (Chopped): Mel Gibson To Make Film About Jewish Hero Judah Maccabee

JEWS! What do you make of Mel Gibson? He’s not exactly been Mr Popular with the Jews after being accused of anti-semitism when resisting arrest a while ago.

If you don’t … (read more)

Posted: 9th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | 5 Comments

Hurray! U2 To Take Break From Music! Oh No! That Means Bono Can Play Politician Again!

GODAWFUL stadium rockers U2, are going to mercifully take a break from hauling their bloated arses around the world while peddling their ditchwater rock on ravenously stupid fans.

In other words, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 9 Comments

Is Rihanna Is 2011’s Sexiest Woman? You Decide

RIHANNA! You’ve pretty much seen all she has to offer, penetrative sex aside. Those leaked photos of her with no clothes on may have embarrassed her at the time, but … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Westboro Baptist Church Versus Foo Fighters!

WHILE the Foo Fighters have yet to kill or paste a single ‘Foo’, they’ve got a battle pressing. After they released their ‘Hot Buns’ video, they horsed around in the … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 2 Comments

Jessie Wallace Has Soap Opera Of A Honeymoon After Being Cheated On

DUM-DUM-DUM-DI-DUM-DIDIDIDDY! Kat off Eastenders, not better known as Jessie Wallace, has been having a lousy time of it lately. She was supposed to be getting married to a chap called … (read more)

Posted: 6th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Puke, Sex And Boobs: Adele Is Opening Her Mouth Again

ADELE is so hot right now. No, that’s not because she’s under five blankets and covered in VapoRub because she’s got yet another illness which has forced her to cancel … (read more)

Posted: 6th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

New Order To Reform Without Peter Hook

MADCHESTER, la la la. That’s the cry of a man who really ought to have a little trip to Dignitas for failing to move on with his life. His pink … (read more)

Posted: 5th, September 2011 | In: Music | 1 Comment

Lindsay Lohan Gets Billy Joel Tattooed Under Her Boobs: Photos

LINDSAY LOHAN is good fun isn’t she? Mad punchy drunk diamond thief, occasionally doing a bit of acting work. What a great life she’s got. There’s pictures of her taking … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | 0 Comments

Ex-Hoff Gets Booted Out Of The Big Brother House, But Gets Her Revenge On Half The House

YES! We have a 100% accuracy with the whole Predicting Who Is Getting Voted Out Of The Big Brother House thing. You really should start putting money on our guesswork … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Kate Winslet Lurves Roman Polanski Despite… Y’know… All That Having Sex With Children Thing

HEY! If you’re some kind of monster who has sex with underage girls, take solace in the fact that, no matter what, Kate Winslet will still love you.

Of course, we’re … (read more)

Posted: 1st, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Ortis Deley Gets Fired From C4’s Athletics Coverage Thanks To This Online Video: World’s Worst Sports Presenter

UNSURPRISINGLY, Channel 4 have shown the door to poor old Ortis Deley after he made a terrible hash of his presenting gig during the coverage of the IAAF world athletics … (read more)

Posted: 31st, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | 1 Comment

Mr Paparazzi And Ex-Mrs The Hoff Up For Big Brother Eviction Unsurprisingly

BRILLIANT. That’s what we are. That’s because we correctly predicted who would be voted out of the Celebrity Big Brother house over the weekend, seeing the terminally unpopular Sally Bercow … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Lost’s Matthew Fox Punches A Bus Driver Right On Her Minge

REMEMBER Lost? That was a stupid, entirely pointless television programme wasn’t it? Random numbers, that fat fella with the corkscrew curls and a polar driving a tank or whatever it … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Big Brother Eviction Night! Who Is Going And Do You Even Care?

TONIGHT is eviction night in the Celebrity Big Brother house, which essentially means that some sleb-pleb will find out how high their stock is with the general public… or indeed, … (read more)

Posted: 26th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 1 Comment

Chris Brown Might Have His Probation Revoked For Being A Lousy Neighbour

NEIGHBOURS. Everybody needs good neighbours, with a little understanding. However, when you live next door to Chris Brown, you probably won’t rate him that much.

Not only is he the purveyor … (read more)

Posted: 26th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities | 0 Comments

Oh God. One Of Jedward Has Got Married In The Big Brother House To Her From TOWIE

ONE thing we were all counting on  in the BB House (ha! ‘All’ being ‘The three people actually watching Celebrity Big Brother) was that producers of the show were just … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Amy Winehouse And Tony Bennett’s Duet Appears Online – Have A Listen

HAHAHA! Wasn’t it funny when a young woman died after battling with the pain that once made great tunes ended up eating her whole! Really funny! She wasn’t even in … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2011 | In: Music | 0 Comments

Celebrity Big Brother: The Cracks Start To Show With Bobby ‘Who?’ Sabel’s Rant Against Z Listers

WHO?! Bobby Sabel is a model, dufus. He’s paid to do little more than be a vacuous thing to occupy clothes while people take photos of him. Of course, he’s … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | 0 Comments

Contact Us Writers