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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Peter Andre Didn’t Hump Elen Rivas While His Children Watched

PETER Andre is a modern day saint. Think about it. He had sexual relations with Katie Price so no-one else had to. He really took one for the team while … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Charlie Sheen To Go To Court While Denise Richards Babysits

ISN’T it great that Charlie Sheen is still hauling his lumbering, near-dead frame around while muttering memes and such, in an attempt to get us to shower him with that … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kate Hudson Talks About Why She Loves Rodent Faced Muse Singer

AWFUL prog band, Muse, have inexplicably become one of the biggest bands on the planet. With this fame, singer Matt Bellamy has even managed to bag himself a glamorous gal … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Charlie Sheen’s Estranged Wife Nips Off To Rehab Looking Glassy Eyed

MEME on legs, Charlie Sheen, is a man seemingly destined to create a whirlpool of near-death around him. In some respects, it is very impressive – the other angle is … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rats Decide It Is Payback Time In Glee Star Matthew Morrison House

GLEE star, Matthew Morrison, has a house filled with rats who, quite rightly, have decided that he should pay for his role peddling shit in the awful warbling television smash.

While … (read more)

Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Zsa Zsa Gabor And Husband Are Going To Try And Have A Baby (Yeah, Like That’ll Happen)

HAVE you seen Zsa Zsa Gabor lately? If not, let us give it to you bluntly – she’s 94-years-old, is riddled with illness and only has one leg after she … (read more)

Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Hayden Panettiere Chillingly Tells Everyone About Her Dad Making Her Scream As A Child

HAYDEN Panettiere will be required to do a lot of screaming in the new Scream flick, unless of course, she gets bumped off early doors like Drew Barrymore did in … (read more)

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Film | Comment

Blue Invent Turd Pop With Inevitable Eurovision Failure!

BLUE are impressively awful. They make music for people who clearly don’t own a rudimentary ear or functioning brain cell. And making up the numbers in the band are Lee … (read more)

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Katie Price Pulls Out Of London Marathon, Saving Us From Seeing Her Hideously Sweating Everywhere

KATIE Price – or Jordan if you’re from the ’90s – has decided to do us all a massive favour by pulling out of this year’s London Marathon, saving us … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Israeli Prime Minister Hates Justin Bieber Or Something

JUSTIN Bieber has slowly been revealing himself as a little superbrat. An impressive feat seeing as he’s only a matter of minutes old, still dripping in amniotic juices and placental … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Mariah Carey Is Stupid Because She Thinks Her Unborn Twins Have Different Personalities

IT must be slowly dawning on Mariah Carey that she’s not the only person on Earth who has ever had a baby. As each new stretch mark appears on her … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Vanessa Hudgens Defends Her Skimpy Outfits In Sucker Punch

GOOD lord! Hollywood hasn’t got a history of using women as sex objects in movies… until now that is! See, the shock and scandal is that, in new action flick … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Thieves Wisely Pawned Off What They Stole From Paris Hilton

THIEVES may not have been very attentive at school but they’re not daft. Think about it – when you’re locked out of your house, instead of finding inventive ways in, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Coco Pops Sales Plummet As Jedward’s Stupid Faces Adorn Box

COCO Pops are the cereal of the cheeky monkey child. Coco The Monkey has always embodied that vague notion of wacky rebellion, essentially being the spokessimian for those sticking two … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Fugees To Reform To Remind Us How Few Hits They Actually Had

RUMOURS are floating around some imagined pop ether, noting that the Fugees may be reuniting to peddle out old hits and remind us how irritating Wyclef Jean is, how mental … (read more)

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Charlie Sheen Wants Mila Kunis Whether She Likes It Or Not (Photos)

CHARLIE Sheen, the stumbling, mumbling meme, should enjoy his brief renewal of fame – mainly because it is clearly going to end quickly and painfully. When he was on drugs, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Simon Cowell Turned Down Chance To Watch A Couple Having Sex

IMAGINE the towering gloom and endless pools of unyielding hate that a man must hold within to think that his life was in desperate need of Simon Cowell, perched at … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Are The Stone Roses Going To Ruin Our Year By Reforming?

THE Stone Roses – a band who made one decent LP, followed it up with a collection of odds-and-sods, then bowed out with a sludgy blokerock LP that avowed contrarians … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Jay Z Loses His Mind And Becomes Fan Of Kerry Katona

JAY-Z, for the most part, is a man you can trust. He’s given the world a frightening amount of great hip hop records, shared fine artists like Rihanna via his … (read more)

Posted: 6th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

Victoria Beckham Tackles Grief Head-On After Pram Tragedy

OUR world is a frightening and relentlessly cruel place. Each time a decent and talented person like Victoria Beckham tries to take one step forward in this crushing, unloving planet … (read more)

Posted: 6th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (12)

Plan B Would Like To Do A Comedy TV Show

IF his preposterous pop-rap career wasn’t comedic enough, Plan B would apparently love to star in a comedy show on the television! Imagine the japes he could get up to! … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Glee’s Ryan Murphy Apologises For World’s Wettest Feud With Kings Of Leon

UNBELIEVABLY there’s been bad blood between Glee creator Ryan Murphy and Kings of Leon. A feud ensued between the two, looking for all the world like a battle royale involving … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment

Rebecca Black To Sue ‘Friday’ And Biting The Hand That Feeds Her While She’s At It

REMEMBER when everyone thought it was funny to go tell a 2 year old girl to go self harm herself to death for making a bad record? Those were fun … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment

Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend Selena Gomez Plans To Not Do something

THE budget may be taking us all roughly with no lubricant, Libya may well be about to explode like a giant box of catherine wheels and Japan may well consist … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

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