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Premier League news. Stories from the newspapers and BBC sport – sports news from tabloids Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Star, the Guardian, Daily Mirror, the times, daily telegraph
Manchester United balls: Zlatan’s farewell party
Nursing an injury that that pretty much ended his career at Manchester United, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is, according to The Sun, planning to take “50 club staff and players out for a ‘thank you’ dinner.”
“The Swedish striker, 35, is paying for the first team, coaches and support staff, including masseurs and groundsmen to join him for the meal.”
As of Q1, 2016, Manchester United PLC employed 837 full-time employees. Making a list of who’s in and who’s out might be more problematic than its worth. Zlatan might be better off going with option b: a gold statue of himself stood in the centre circle.
PS: the restaurant picks itself.
18 Jul 2016 – “Louis van Gaal and wife Truus take one more trip to Wing’s Chinese restaurant in Manchester.”
9 August 2016: “WING WIZARD Paul Pogba toasts record £109m move with Chinese takeaway from famous Wing’s”
17 Feb 2017: “‘LA POGBANCE’ Paul Pogba, brother Florentin and family have a rave in Old Trafford tunnel before heading out to Wings restaurant for dinner in Manchester”
All in the Sun.
Posted: 1st, May 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Media Bias: Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford ‘dives’ in Swansea but soars in Manchester
Congratulation to the talented actor and Manchester United striker Marcus Rashford for redefining the phrase “honest English footballer” and in the words of Swansea City manager Paul Clement going “down way before there was contact” and “deceiving” the referee. Rashford’s performance earned United a penalty, and with it another goal for Wayne Rooney. Thankfully, Rashford’s slippery shoes did not cost Swansea City too dear, as the Swans scored late on to tie the match.
So how did the clubs’ respective websites see the incident?
Swansea City FC: “Marcus Rashford got in behind, prompting Fabianski to race off his line. The Swans keeper slid out only to stop himself making contact with Rashford, yet the young striker stuck out a foot to catch Fabianski and then tumbled to the turf.”
Manchester United FC: “…Lingard unleashed a rasping effort which flew wide of the far post, before he then played in Rashford, who was brought down by Fabianski in the box after poking the ball past him.”
What about the local Press?
Wales Online: “Replays showed Lukasz Fabianski had pulled out of his challenge on Marcus Rashford, and that the United striker was already falling to the deck before making contact with the Poland international.”
A dive, then.
The site delivers “Chris Wathan’s verdict”:
Well that is a disgraceful decision and you only fear how costly that will prove. A horrible dive from Rashford who made the decision to go down before Fabianski pulled out. Referee Swarbrick seemed to take an age to point to the spot and the linesman in Swansea’s half was the opposite side of the pitch, blinded by bodies.You can’t say this is what Clement would have wanted because somehow Swansea find themselves behind to a hugely controversial decision when they probably should be ahead.
Manchester Evening News: “PENALTY!”
Rashford frustrated by lack of passes to run onto but first time he really does and Swansea defence panicked.
Of course, Rashford’s English and an England player, which means he’s not a diver. Take this from Michael Owen, formerly of Manchester United and England, as quoted on the MEN’s live blog:
“The keeper has made a bad decision and you think,’I’m going to find the contact somewhere’. You see Rashford – his knees buckle and he realises Fabianski’s pulled his arms away. Yes. It ends up a dive. Your waiting to be hit. You’re never going to plant your foot that situation. I’ve done it before and had my foot broken. If your foot’s off the ground, you’re not going to get hurt – you just ride the challenge. It’s a situation where you don’t want to get hurt however you still want a penalty. It ended up a dive but your sort of protecting yourself.”
It’s not cheating. It’s being sensible. Unless you’re a dirty foreigner, in which case, it’s disgusting.
Posted: 30th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Arsenal’s Wilshere rides to China on a human caterpillar of fake news
Transfer Balls is watching fake news: Working on the principle that no denial means it could be true, the Daily Star lead its sports season with news that Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere is on his way to China. Maybe. Wilshere was playing on loan at Bournemouth until another injury – a leg fracture – ended his season.
The paper days that “if” talks with Arsenal do not go well for the former PFA Young Player of the Year (2010–11), he could be off to play in China.
Where in China, the paper does not say. It’s just China, a place where a young English blade looking for adventures can experience the thrill of the exotic and immerse himself in an ancient culture. Or just cash in as some local tycoon spunks loadsa cash on surplus English flesh. Jack is not looking to expand his horizons in the Far East, says the Star. Jack is “desperate”.
China is the British Press’s ‘f9’ – just hit the button and whichever player who like can be off to China. The Star’s story contains no word from Arsenal nor Wilshere but that doesn’t stop the other tabloids wading in.
The Express thunders: “ARSENAL midfielder Jack Wilshere is open to a shock move to China, according to the reports.”
It knows this because – get this – the Express read the story in the Daily Star.
The Sun also read the Star’s fact-free news story and tells its readers: “FREE WILLY – Arsenal transfer news: Jack Wilshere open to Chinese Super League switch if crunch Arsene Wenger talks go badly this summer.”
No facts needed for the trusty news media to pass on the scoop untested. It’s a human caterpillar of football reporting.
Posted: 25th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Joe Hart to Liverpool and £20m written off
Transfer balls: a look at fake news football reporting. Is Joe Hart heading to Liverpool?
The Sun April 19: “Joe Hart is on his way back to the Premier League with Liverpool.”
KLOPP LOVES HART – Joe Hart set for Liverpool move as Jurgen Klopp signs off £20million swoop for Manchester City goalkeeper
Having scored a “exclusive”, the rest of the online media play catch up.
Joe Hart to Liverpool: Man City star set for £20m switch, Jurgen Klopp – Daily Star
7 things that will definitely happen if Joe Hart signs for Liverpool – Daily Mirror
Or as Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp out it one day late: “He’s a fantastic keeper, the highest quality, but it’s not for us at the moment, nor in the future.”
No harm done. No-one in Liverpool reads the Sun.
Posted: 24th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Media Bias: Arsenal praise the referee but Manchester City are robbed
Media Balls: a look at biased football reporting. Today Arsenal beat Manchester City 2-1 to make it into the FA Cup final, where they will play Chelsea.
Should Manchester City have been awarded a penalty?
The game had been free of any controversy, but soon the officials were in the spotlight as Koscielny poked the ball in beyond Bravo – but was flagged offside.
It may have disappointed the Arsenal fans, but replays showed it was the correct call – as was referee Craig Pawson’s decision to wave play on when Raheem Sterling went down in the box after a tangle of legs with Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Aguero tripped by Oxlade-Chamberlain inside the area. Clear penalty – nothing given.
What about Manchester City’s disallowed goal?
Arsenal website:
…as Sane raced on to a through ball and chipped the ball back across goal from the left byeline, which was knocked back in by Aguero only to be saved by Cech. Sterling knocked the loose ball home, but the flag was up – much to our relief. Replays highlighted that Sane’s cross may – or may not, depending on whether you’re red or blue – have gone out of play…
Manchester City website:
The officials got it wrong but it was very tight, in fairness.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 23rd, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Morata to Chelsea (if Arsenal let him leave)
Transfer Balls – fake news for football: The BBC says Chelsea “have reached an agreement” to sign striker Alvaro Morata, 24, from Real Madrid. The Beeb’s source is Spanish site Diario Gol. As ever, I like to use Google Translate to tell the source’s story.
The headline’s a belter: “Morata lynch to a crack of Real Madrid: the checkmate to Zidane.”
The teaser’s good too: “The one of The Factory explodes against the mister.”
Diego Castro’s words according to Google Translate are:
The worst. Karim Benzema was signing one of the weakest seasons since joining Real Madrid in 2009 . The goalkeeper has scored the same goals as Álvaro Morata in almost double the number of minutes played. The canterano has played 1,593 minutes , while the French accumulates 2,597 ‘ .
Benzema is no goalkeeper. But the gist is that Morata is the better striker of the two.
But what about Chelsea? Well, Morata has “never been the first choice of Zizou”. Adding: “The French strategist always opted publicly for his compatriot, regardless of the level of his players… Zidane always put him ahead of the team’s needs.”
And Chelsea? Only this: “Morata has been wanting for Chelsea for weeks, with more than a verbal agreement.”
It’s not exactly done and dusted. The Week says Morata is only “among potential targets” for Chelsea. The Daily Star says Morata might be heading to Manchester United. And Corriere dello Sport says AC Milan will outbid Chelsea for Morata’s signature.
So there’s no agreement, then. Which makes it odd that the Daily Star can announce that the deal taking Morata to Chelsea has been done:
And let’s not forget that according to these fine sources, Morata plays for Arsenal:
Such are the facts.
Posted: 20th, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Daily Mirror news trust: Arsenal and Theresa May are both for turning
How about this for wraparound newspaper cover. The Daily Mirror’s front page leads with Theresa May’s “U-turn”. Having said there would be no General Election before 202o, May has called one for June 8 2017.
If it’s all about trust, what are Mirror readers to make of the paper’s back page news story that Arsenal have made it clear Arsene Wenger will still be manager next season? The paper says Schalke defender Sead Kolasinac, 23, has been been told Wenger will remain at Arsenal for a further two seasons.
June 8 is one for the diary. And while you’re on that page, you might care to put a line through another event scheduled for that month. On June 30 2017, Arsene Wenger is to quit the club. We read that in the Daily Mirror.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 19th, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Politicians, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Karim Benzema to join Arsenal for a third time
As predictable as a dog sniffing a lamppost and Simon Cowell licking his eyeballs and telling a cabaret act “That. Was. Incredible”, the tabloids herald the summer season of football transfer rumours with news that Karim Benzema is heading to Arsenal.
“Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema to be Alexis Sanchez replacement,” thunders the Daily Mirror. “Karim Benzema linked with Arsenal as doubts soar over the future of Alexis Sanchez,” says the Sun.
Newspaper readers will know that Benzema joined Liverpool in 2014 (Daily Star) and Arsenal in 2015 (Metro, Daily Star (twice), Daily Telegraph, The Sydney Morning Herald) and again in 2017 (The Sun).
He never left Real Madrid. And today the papers are having another crack at the Benzema to Arsenal story.
The source of the Sun and Mirror’s scoop is donbalon.com. Over there we learn that Arsenal have offered Benzema twice his current salary. No quotes are given. But according to the Star, Karim Benzema earns £270,000 a week at Real. So Arsenal will pay him £520,000 a week – more than the £280,000-a-week Alexis Sanchez – the man he will replace – wants to stay?
Understand that? No, us neither.
Posted: 17th, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Dirty tackle: Manchester United’s Ander Herrera gets inside Chelsea’s Hazard
Manchester United beat Chelsea 2-0 in yesterday’s Premier League clash. The result puts United in position for a charge into the top four and thus qualification to next season’s Champions League and reduces Chelsea’s lead at the top of the table to just four points over a buoyant Spurs.
The game also coughed up two images, both of which feature on the back pages. The Mirror calls is “Squeaky Bum time”, a headline more suited to the image on the Times’s back page.
As United’s Ander Herrera finds work as proctologist, we recall an other great Manchester United meeting, when the club’s Rio Ferdinand got a thorough going over from Man City’s Carlos Tevez.
File under: Dirty Tackle.
Posted: 17th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal fans will only get change when the owners lose money
Arsenal have the exact same Premier League points tally as they did at this stage of last season. Arsène Wenger is both the model of consistency, Old Father Time pointing the way forwards to more of the same, and the staid boss of a club becalmed in routine.
Ivan Gazidis , the club’s uninspiring chief executive, assures supporters that if Wenger accepts the two-year contract he’s been offered, there will be big changes on the field. Tomorrow will be much better or else, says Gazidis as he pleads with Wenger to sign the deal that will see the fading manager earn over £8m a year. Gazidis is talking to the fans, of course. It’s season ticket renewal time. Only a fool would think the same manager will bring about dramatic improvement when the familiar is enough for the greedy shareholders and dividend takers who want him to stay.
Gazidis hopes fans take the bait. The pursuit of money not glory is the Arsenal way under the current regime.
After the Gunners had stumbled to a 2-2 draw the Manchester City, a number of fans went on an anti-Wenger match. There was a van bedecked with anti-Wenger slogans, leaflets urging supporters to contact the club’s sponsors and tell them to stop backing the club until Wenger goes.
“I must say, despite all that happens on the fans front, I felt our fans were fantastic today,” said Wenger at his monocular best. “In the very difficult moments in the first half, I felt they could have turned against us but they were absolutely sensational and helped the team to get through those difficult moments.”
The fans support the club through thick and thin. It’s not the players they want gone; it’s the manager and the palsied board that can’t see the decline and move strongly to check it.
Arsenal look set to miss out on the Champions League for the first time in Wenger’s tenure. They are behind Man City, in fourth place, by seven points with a game in hand. Can they rally and come fourth, giving the fans another season of Champions’ League football? Many fans will be hoping they don’t. If the board can’t see that what Wenger once brought to the club no longer cuts it, a decline in their considerable income should.
Posted: 3rd, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Media balls: Arsenal on course for second after a lucky draw with hopeful Manchester City
Media Balls: a look at biased football reporting. Today in the Premier League, Arsenal drew 2-2 with Manchester City. Arsenal are in no state of crisis, whatever the media tell us. The Gunners have the same number of points after 28 games this season as they did in season 2015/16.
Last season after 28 matches players, Arsenal were on 51 points – just 6 points behind eventual champions Leicester City. This term, the Gunners are on 51 point – 17 behind Chelsea. Arsenal under Arsene Wenger are the very model of consistency.
Can the Gunners secure that top four spot that secures Champions’ League football next season?
Manchester City, under a new manager, are a project. Pep Guardiola, for it is he, is no flop, despite the the Sun naming him “the biggest disappointment in the battle of the Premier League managerial superstars”. City are fourth in the PL table – five points ahead of Manchester United – and in the semi-final of the FA Cup. What else do the reporters tell us?
Manchester City’s first goal – the game’s opening strike.
The London Evening Standard: “Kevin de Bruyne… played a hopeful ball forward…”
The Manchester Evening Post: “Leroy Sane raced onto Kevin De Bruyne’s fine ball out of defence…”
A prod forward or a lovely pass?
Manchester City penalty appeal.
In the game’s finale minutes, did the ball strike Nacho Monreal on the hand as he defended in the Arsenal box?
London Evening Standard: “Arsenal were fortunate to escape a strong handball appeal in stoppage time”
Manchester City website: “Late penalty appeals against Arsenal’s Nacho Monreal were waved away as City pushed for the winner”
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola: “I know this referee because we have had him before but I don’t want to discuss the penalty.”
The BBC: “Handball? Did Nacho Monreal punch that? That looked very, very much like a hand in the box…”
The Guardian: “It was clumsy and really did seem like it struck his flailing arm. Arsenal appear to have been lucky to get away with that there.”
Arsenal website: Not a word on the incident.
Islington Gazette: No word on the appeal.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 2nd, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City | Comment
Arsenal’s Ozil needs to be more like Spurs’ Dele Alli if he wants to succeed says BBC pundit
News from Germany is that Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil, 28, will “talk soon” to the club about extending his current deal. The Mirror says Arsenal have offered the German midfielder £280,000-a-week to stay at The Emirates. Having previously said he’d be inclined to remain at the club if Arsene Wenger did likewise, and with the Frenchman now committed to a further two years in charge, Ozil looks set to stay.
Although if Ozil does leave, the Sun says Jack Wilshere is keen to prove he is a “ready-made replacement”. Arsenal fans booing Ozil should read that and wonder how Wilshere, currently being mediocre at Bournemouth, would make the Gunners a better side.
But to BBC pundit Lee Dixon the biggest question is how Ozil can improve his game? And Dixon knows how. He says the German needs to learn from Deli Alli, the Spurs tyro and red-card-in-waiting.
“He’s playing in the first team long-term because he’s doing something right,” says Dixon of Alli on the BBC. “The fact that he’s come into the Tottenham team and they’re building a team around him, his talent is unlimited. If he [Ozil] had half of what Dele Alli has got, that nasty streak, he would be ten times a better player than he is because he hasn’t got what Dele Alli has.”
He’d also be getting sent off for nasty fouls and, well, not win anything. It’s tempting to think that the biggest asset Alli has over Ozil is a British passport and the right to wear an England shirt.
Posted: 27th, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Transfer balls: The Arsenal summer target list
May’s when Arsenal season tickets holders get a reminder that it’s time to hand over the cash and renew membership. In the run-up to that, Arsenal need to point to the season ahead being one of glory and wonder. Which brings us to the Mirror’s news that Arsenal have drawn up a long lost of transfer targets.
The paper’s headline says “Alexandre Lacazette and Kylian Mbappe top Arsenal transfer target list as Arsene Wenger plots rebuilding job”. Yeah, Wenger’s staying. The Mirror was wrong about him leaving on June 30 2017. But the Mirror is positive it knows what talent the Gunners are recruiting.
And that’s not all. The Mirror says the list also features the names: Marco Reus, Moussa Dembele, Jack Butland, Jordan Pickford, Joe Hart, Kieran Tierney, Jose Gaya and Ross Barkley.
Of course, it might be better than that. No press picked up the story of Mesut Ozil nor Alexis Sanchez joining Arsenal before those deals were almost done. And if the Gunners are prepared to offer Ozil £280,000 a week – which the Mirror say they have done – there’s the very real possibility of bigger, starrier names coming.
It’s all exciting, right? And with any luck it will ensure Arsenal fans renew those pricey season tickets and keep all that money rolling into the owners’ burgeoning coffers.
The Times says Arsenal will offer £25m offer for Barcelona’s Turkey midfielder Arda Turan.
The Metro says Arsenal will spend part of the summer chasing Leon Goretzka.
The Daily Star says the Gunners are after Lorenzo Insigne.
Posted: 23rd, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Arsenal balls: Wenger stays, PSG make an approach and Allegri sits on his hands
Having yesterday told readers Arsene Wenger is staying at Arsenal for a further two seasons (at least), today’s Sun leads with news that he’s not. Maybe. Apparently, PSG have offered Wenger a two-year deal to manage their project to turn the Paris club into France’s answer to Barcelona instead of France’s answer to Glasgow Celtic.
However, the Sun concedes that ‘indications’ point to Wenger staying at Arsenal. Those would be hints like ‘ARSENAL BOMBSHELL’ , ‘He’s Staying’ and a back page speech bubble in which Wenger is telling West Bromwich Albion manager Tony Pulis “See you next year mate”.
The Sun doesn’t do subtle. And it doesn’t have the foggiest idea what Wenger will or will not do. This is apparent when it tells readers that Juventus manager Max Allegri ‘remains at the top of the Gunners’ list of preferred candidates, though they will await Wenger’s decision before engaging in negotiations.’ Indeed, it’s tricky to negotiate Allegri’s recruitment when there’s no vacancy. How do you say ‘Thanks for your time, keep in touch’ in Italian?
Over in the Mirror, John Cross has an ‘exclusive’. He says, Wenger has ‘made it clear he wants to stay’.
Cross, whose paper told us Wenger was leaving the club on June 30 2017, has changed his tune. He says Wenger will be given lots of money to rebuild the team after he’s offloaded ‘superstar duo’ Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez. Ozil is no superstar. Arenal have two world-class players. Ozil is not one of them. Laurent Koscielny is the player Arsenal need to keep hold of. Wenger spotted him and made him into a top player. Now he needs to repeat that trick with around, say, 9 others.
Posted: 21st, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Everton deserve better than Lukaku’s lack of respect
There are few things more irritating than hearing a top footballer saying he wants to satiate his craving for trophies by leaving one big club to join a rival. And so it is with Everton’s Romelu Lukaku, who having invited his agent to negotiate a massive £130,000-a-week deal to remain on Merseyside for five more years, decided he was destined for better things.
The agent, Mino Riola, had assured Everton’s fans and suits that his client was 99.99% certain to commit his future to the club. And then Lukaku said he was not prepared to sign a new deal.
Lukaku will find a sympathetic ear with his current manager Ronald Koeman. “No, because I am the manager of Southampton, and I have the contract for two years more,” said the Dutchman in April 2015 when asked about his future. “I have to respect my contract, I like to respect my contract and I am very happy.” And very soon after he was gone to Everton, where he earns a lot more money.
Koeman’s in it for the long haul, right? “Everybody knows you can’t do this in one year,” he said of Everton’s target. “It takes time. How long did it take for Tottenham to be where they are now? Three or four years. You can’t do it in one year.”
Anyone want to bet Koeman will be at Everton in three years time?
Of course, the big difference between Koeman and Lukaku is that one is in a position of authority, trusted by the owners to build a winning team to their budget, and the other is there to execute the manager’s tactics to the best of his abilities.
Lukaku’s misstep was to question whether Everton share his ambitions to win trophies and play Champions’ League football. “I don’t know, I don’t know what the board’s plan is. I don’t really know,” he opined, seeming to suggest the owners should keep their striker in the loop and maybe invite him into the boardroom to discuss everything from the new ground to catering facilities.
Of course the club wants to be successful. It’s why Everton are offering to make him the best-paid player. But Lukaku thinks he should be calling the shots not just making them. “Obviously, stuff is changing and stuff is happening but there were some players that we could have got, that I knew the club could have got, and they didn’t get,” said Lukaku to media invited to visit Everton’s training ground for an anti-racism event. “And they are playing in this league. I am not saying names but they are doing well.”
Before Romelu gets a job as Everton’s chief negotiator, he should look at the players Everton did get: Yannick Bolasie was bought for £25m, Morgan Schneidelin arrived for £20m and a further £10m brought in Ademola Lookman.
“No matter where you play you want to be remembered,” he continued with no pause for self-reflection, modesty and respect for the shirt. “You cannot only be remembered by scoring goals, you want to be remembered by winning trophies. That is what the fans want. So instead of living in the past, you have to think ahead. How this club has to grow, how this club has to improve, which player does it want to bring in so you can challenge for the big trophies?”
You, Romelu. They are offering you over £30m in wages to be the club’s totem pole – which is a pretty literal description because although powerful Lukaku is a terrific finisher he’s not the most mobile 23-year-old. There is room for improvement.
Lukaku can, of course, seek a better deal and an improved chance of winning trophies wherever he likes. He does not have to wait for Everton to reach the Champions’ League before he plays in it.
But he’d be well advised not to bemoan his lot and forget why it was that Chelsea got rid of him and Everton moved to make him key to their ambitions. He can do better than that.
Posted: 20th, March 2017 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment
Arsenal balls: Wenger’s staying and leaving on June 30, 2017
Arsenal fans calling for Arsene Wenger to be sacked will be able to wave their banners for a further two seasons. News is that the Frenchman will sign a new deal. Wenger’s staying. It’s a fact. Well, it is is you believe the unimpeachable word of Tony Pulis, the West Bromwich Albion boss, who after his functional side had beaten a dysfunctional Arsenal 3-1 told media: “I’ll be surprised if he goes.” Did Wenger say he was staying? “Yeah,” said Pulis, “because he told me.”
The Sun calls this an ‘Arsenal bombshell’. How times have altered, eh. Before this season, the bombshell would have pertained to Wenger’s departure. The Sun says Wenger used to be a decent manager. But now Arsenal ‘is rotten to the core’. The club are sixth in the Premier League. They are in the semi-final of the FA Cup. But Ashton says Wenger would be sacked were he the manager of any club other than Arsenal.
Ashton then has it both ways. Having wondered why Wenger is still in a job and said ‘once upon a time Wenger was a decent manager’, Ashton opines: ‘The modern world, what with social media, will stop at nothing to get him out.’ A pox on the modern world and that social media. Why not let the old media that used to mutate manager’s into root vegetables call for a man to lose his job. ‘GUILTY’ yells the Sun by a close-up of Wenger looking like a police enforcer from Les Miserables.
Ashton ends by telling his readers that at Arsenal ‘everything is up in the air’. But it’s not. Because one page across is the news that Wenger is staying on. Less up in the air, then, than in the filing cabinet.
That the tabloids have not the foggiest about what’s going on at Arsenal is no more apparent than in the Mirror. It leads with news that Wenger is ‘STAYING’.
Or as the Mirror reported previous – he’s going:
Such are the facts.
Posted: 20th, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Spurs balls: Spain and England fight for Harry Winks
Good news for Spain is that Spurs midfielder Harry Winks is one of your own. Well, so says John Cross on the Daily Mirror’s back page.
In ‘Spain tip Winks for a call-up’, Cross tells readers that Hertfordshire-born Spurs fan Winks’s ‘Spanish grandparents’ mean he’s eligible to play for the mighty Spain. This is bad news for England because ‘reports suggest’ the FA have been looking at the talented and likeable Winks to play for them. Spain’s interest will ‘set alarm bells ringing at the English FA’, says Cross. After all, Winks is ‘regarded as Spurs’ next big prospect’.
Spain are not exactly short on midfield talent. Tottenham’s Winks must be brilliant.
But hold the phone. A source oft-cited by the British press as being knowledgable on Spanish football says Winks’ grandparents are not Spanish.
Looks like Spain’s midfield will have to muddle along with Bruno Soriano, Sergio Busquets, Cesc Fàbregas, Andrés Iniesta, Koke, David Silva, Thiago Alcántara, Santi Cazorla, Juan Mata, Isco, Pedro, Sergi Roberto and more.
Posted: 15th, March 2017 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Arsenal balls: Wenger stays and Allegri agrees to take over
It’s been a huge two days for Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger. Only yesterday, the Star was pleading with Wenger to make up his mind and tell everyone if he was going to sign a new contract and stay at Arsenal for a further two years.
The paper said Juventus manager Massimiliano Allegri was tired to waiting to get the call to move up from the Italian giants to English football’s also-rans. The Star thundered:
EXCLUSIVE: Massimiliano Allegri sends ‘come and get me’ plea to Arsenal
Words from Allegri on his dream to manage Arsenal: none.
Of course, the Star is a rich source of fake news. On February 28, the Star told its readers ‘Allegri confirms he’s joining Arsenal’.
You click on that news headline and you get told on the Star’s website: ‘Calciomercato has this afternoon sensationally claimed Allegri, 49, will join the Gunners this summer.’ On that Italian site, we’re told:
The news comes from his hometown of Livorno, where reports are circulating that the manager let this story slip at dinner with friends.
And that’s it. No quotes. No links.
Looking for more, a search for ‘Allegri’ and ‘Livorno’ produces a story on another Italian news site. It says the Allegri to Arsenal news is sourced in the – get this – Daily Express, sister organ to the Daily Star. In the Express we learn that Allegri and Arsenal have agreed a deal.
All done and dusted, then. No dithering at all. Allegri in. Wenger out. Which brings us to today Daily Star story that Wenger is, er, staying at Arsenal.
All utter balls, then.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 12th, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Barcelona cheated and won: PSG were robbed
Incredible scenes at Barcelona’s Camp Nou earlier this week. It really was shocking and amazing. How the hell did Luis Suarez’s dive win a penalty? Paris Saint-Germain’s travelling supporters have every right to feel cheated. They were.
As the plaudits hail down on Barcelona, it’s worth looking at the two spot kicks that played a big part in their unlikely Champions’ League comeback from a 0-4 deficit to win 6-5.
Penalty 1: PSG’s Thomas Meunier falls over. Barcelona’s Neymar falls over him.
Penalty 2: Luis Suárez gets in front of Marquinhos. He falls. As he falls, Suarez clutches his head, then his neck and contorts his face into a look of outrage, shock and appeal. Suarez had already dived once in the match. That one earned him a yellow card. So this second dive had better be very good or else he’s off. But it’s awful. It’s blatant. It might even be hammy. Yet somehow the referee gives the penalty. The message is clear: cheats do prosper.
The bigger message, however, is that, aside from PSG fans, we all loved it. A spot of gamesmanship gets the pulse racing. Barcelona won and it was thrilling; but Barcelona also cheated so most of us who don’t support them can hurl insults and loathe their moral rectitude.
And who better than unlovely, charmless Luis Suarez to play the gall guy? Well, Wayne Rooney, perhaps, but to paraphrase the old saying: you need to be in it, to cheat it.
Posted: 10th, March 2017 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment
Clickbait balls: The Daily Telegraph’s cutting-edge journalism puts Chelsea on top
In the race for clicks, the Daily Telegraph continues to mine news seams of bullshit. The paper asks a question it then aims to answer by name-checking all the Premier League’s top sides.
Champions League race – Who is best placed to finish in the top four and what will it mean for those who don’t?
Well, a quick look at the PL table, tells us that – and we can even list them in order – Chelsea, Spurs, Manchester City and Liverpool – are best placed to get Champions’ League football next term on account of them being 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th, respectively.
For the two clubs of the top 6 that don’t finish in the top 4, it will man: the Europa League.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 7th, March 2017 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comment
Transfer balls: Sanchez leaves Arsenal to earn less money
So hungry for trophies is Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez that he will quit the Gunners and plays for… Sevilla – Spain’s oldest professional football club who last won the title in 1945. Well, so says the Daily Star, which adds that not-all-that-well-off Sevilla are ‘in pole position’ to secure the ‘disillusioned’ Chilean. In the twilight world where the Star’s news and facts merge such a move will surely satisfy Sanchez’s quest for glory and give him the £250,000-a-week he wants.
Over in Italy, we read in the Corriere dello Sport that Juventus will offer Arsenal £25m for Sanchez in the summer. The Mail says the Gunners are already looking for his replacements, casting a covetous eye on Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus, Porto’s Andre Silva and Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette.
Really? Because in 2015, the Daily Star told its readers: ‘£20m Arsenal, Chelsea and Man Utd target Marco Reus AGREES five-year Real Madrid deal.’ He didn’t.
Spanish organ AS told its readers Silva had also joined Real Madrid. He hasn’t. AS did cite a source for its fact-free story: the Daily Star:
And Lacazette can’t play for Lyon – he does- because the Daily Express told us he joined Paris Saint Germain in 2015.
So much for the targets. As for Sanchez, The Mirror says Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is ‘privately resigned to Sanchez leaving the Emirates this summer’. That would the same Wenger who’s also leaving Arsenal this summer. We read that in the Mirror.
Arsenal fans shouldn’t wave goodbye to Sanchez just yet.
Posted: 3rd, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Manchester United balls: suspicions linger over Zlatan Ibrahimovich
All hail, then, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the man without whom Manchester United would be a mid-table side, not clutching the EFL Cup and not eyeing a Champion’s League berth for next season. The big Swede’s been playing well, giving Untied a focal point. Writing in the Sun, former Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright says Zlatan is the new cult hero at Old Trafford.
“He [Eric Cantona] now has genuine competition as a United cult hero,” says Wrighty. “And I don’t just use Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s EFL Cup final heroics as evidence of that – it’s virtually everything he’s done since arriving last summer.”
Aside from cheating against Crystal Palace – and Cantona’s exploits at Selhust Park win that battle – it’s pretty much all been great from Zlatan. Wright adds: “When he joined, some were a bit sceptical, wondering if he was just after one final payday before hanging up his boots…any suspicions about Zlatan were blown out of the water within a month of his first appearance.”
On August 14, Zlatan scored on his United Premier League debut against Bournemouth. Still in August he then scored two more goals in a 2-0 PL win over Southampton.
But Wright was still suspicion of Zlatan. On October 26, Ian Wright called him a “passenger”. On November 3, Wright mused: “I’m not sure too many other teams would have signed him, even on a free.” And on December 12, Wright knew: “He’s not going to score 25 goals this season, no.”
He’s surpassed that tally already.
Posted: 1st, March 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Spurs and England’s nasty Dele Alli isn’t like Arsenal’s filthy foreigner Granit Xhaka – he’s brave and British
Dele Alli plays for Spurs. He’s British. Granit Xhaka plays for Arsenal. He’s Swiss. According to former Liverpool captain Graeme Souness, both possess a “nasty streak”. For one of them it’s a blessing. For the other it’s a curse.
Pride of Britain
On February 26, Souness noticed Ali’s red card for an awful foul against Ghent in the Europa League that earned him a red card.
‘It was nasty and unnecessary, born out of frustration,’ wrote Souness in the Sunday Times. ‘He really snapped into it, intending to leave a bit on the guy, so he got what he deserved with the red card. Yet that’s also one of the reasons he could become a top player. Alli has a bit of devil in him, an edge that most top players possess. As strange as it sounds, if I was his manager, I’d be quietly saying to myself: “Thank goodness he’s got that in him.”
A bad foul is sign you’re a top player.
When Granit Xhaka was sent for Arsenal against Burnley, Souness took a different view. On January 25 he wrote: ‘What isn’t registering with him? He’s obviously got the exploding head. I don’t look at him and think, ‘you’re an aggressive player’. It’s a lapse in concentration and he’ll be annoyed he gave the ball away so cheaply. For me, he doesn’t run around making aggressive challenges. He is the run of mill midfield player for me. He must have something in him where it goes.”
If you’re British and playing in your home country, a bad foul is sign of your mental toughness. If you’re foreign and playing overseas, a bad foul is sign of your mental weakness.
Got it?
Posted: 27th, February 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Broadsheets, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Arsenal: Spurs fans should be wary of Wenger’s hounding
It’s been a few days since Arsenal lot to the world’s third best side in Munich. Experts cited the 5-1 drubbing to Bayern as a sign that Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger had to go. Arsenal were woeful in Germany, a side devoid of guile, diligence, spirit, cohesion and drive surrendered meekly, albeit to stella opponents.Whereas once the Gunner would have sought continuity, a handing of the baton from Wenger to his successor in style and spirit, the only way forward was to trigger wholesale change.
But the clamour for Wenger to do the decent thing and leave at the season’s end, if not immediately, has been hasty and delusional. England club sides to not rule in Europe. Placed in context, Arenal’s thrashing was more of the same, rather than a sudden downward turn. Did any Arsenal fans believe the Gunners were on track to win the Champions’ League? Coming top four in the Premier League is not a passport to the last four of Europeans football’s biggest club competition.
To further realise how palsied the PL has become, you need only look at what happened one night after Arsenal’s undoing. Spurs fans revelling in Arenal’s failure watched their team lose to the mighty Gent, a team sat in mid-table in Belgian’s Division A. Losing to Bayern in Munich or losing to Gent in Belgian – which is worse result? Add to that Spurs early demise in the Champions’ League and Arsenal coming top of group containing Paris Saint Germain and are things so very bleak at The Emirates?
Of course, it’s Sutton in the FA Cup tonight. Lost that and, well, the ground’s not all that far from Gatwick Airport. Taxi for Wenger!
Posted: 20th, February 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Talking balls: Wenger stays at Arsenal for four more years and leaves in the summer
Arsene Wenger will remain Arsenal manager for the next four years. Arsenal have offered Wenger a two-year extension on his current deal, which expires in the summer. So how does the Daily Star know Wenger will sign a four-year deal?
‘Arsene Wenger wants to stay at Arsenal for four more years,’ says the paper.
And what of that growing list of names lined up to replace Wenger when this season ends?
The story is based on a comment Wenger made when asked to compare his career to that of Sir Alex Ferguson. Said Wenger: “Ferguson has some other interests in life and he was older than I am today. He was four years older, he retired at 71 and I’m 67.”
So will Wenger continue to manager beyond 71? “Maybe more, maybe less, I don’t know,” he said.
Stick that through the spin machine and the Star says Wenger will be Arsenal boss until he’s 71.
The Guardian hears that and thunders: ‘Arsène Wenger hints he could stay at Arsenal for at least four more years.’
The Mirror interprets the same Wenger line to mean: ‘Arsene Wenger will carry on managing for another four years – even if he leaves Arsenal this summer.’
If he leaves this summer? The Mirror said he was going.
Such are the facts in the post-truth media.
Posted: 19th, February 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
