Broadsheets Category
Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers
Madeleine McCann: Israel’s Rose Is The International Our Maddie
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
JERUSALEM POST (Israel): Is Rose Israel’s Madeleine?
Who’s Rose? Is she a Maddie by another name?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (215)
When Stuffed Alligators Attack With A Paedo’s Lure
IN The tabloid Telegraph, readers learn of when Stuffed Alligators Attack!
Roads were sealed off as they staked out the creature, which appeared to be lying in garden bushes with the remains of a bird in its jaws.
Now read on:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comment
Remembering Ken Livingstone On CBeebies
BORIS Johnson, mayor of London, waves the flag in Beijing. And Ken Livingstone, the miserabilist former mayor Boris beat.. Is he bitter?
Says the Independent:
A fecund father of five himself, he will next day be appearing on CBeebies. “It’s about how to run a campaign about saving water. I’ve got to advise and then judge which team is the best, which I will hate.”
Happy days. We just can’t stop winning…
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment
Los Angeles Residents Welcome You To London 2012 Olympics
DAVID Beckham and Leona Lewis welcome you to the London Olympics, says the Star.
Becks lives in Los Angeles, so does Leona. But what the hell, they were born in London and that will do.
The Times leads with pictures of Londoners who live in London, and a load of tourists, celebrating the arrival of the fearsomely expensive sporting event in four years time They are waving flags beating the Olympics logo – that picture of Lisa Simpson felating on an unknown IOC member.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Earth Moves For British Economy
FEEL that seismic shift? That was the British economy coming to a halt.
INDEPENDENT: “British economy grinds to halt.”
FT: “British economy shudders to a halt”.
TELEGRAPH: British economy “shudders to a halt”.
Did you feel it? Did the Earth move for you..?
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Photojournalism | Comments (4)
Madeleine McCann: Angelia Jolie’s Changeling, Oakely International And Belgian Paedos
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
MAIL On SUNDAY: “McCANNS’ FUND IN £500,000 CHAOS.”
A team of private investigators working behind the scenes to find Madeleine McCann has been axed after being paid £500,000 from publicly donated funds.
Metodo 3?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (143)
After the Olympics The TV Titles
“OLYMPIC DAMES,” announces the Mirror’s front page. Britain’s New Olympians are top be given titles.
“GIVE OUR HEOES A GONG,” says the Mail on its cover. Anorak senses a campaign, and one the Mail has every chance of winning (see Mirror).
Titles for one and all. And to go with the medals and ribbons, a valuable spot in the TV titles.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (5)
Bush And Blair’s Legacy: Zero: An Investigation Into 9/11
THE 9/11 Truthers are out there. They know. How do they know? They just know. It was – some closer – the Jews.
Peter Bradshaw is reviewing a film for the Guardian: It’s called: Zero: An Investigation Into 9/11
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (4)
US Ironists Wants To Rip Gold Medal From 14-Year-Old He Kexin’s Neck
“OLYMPIC inquiry,” announces the Times’ front page.
Good. How Christine Ohuruogu was allowed to compete for Blighty we will never understand.
But it turns out that the UK press is more concerned with “China’s golden girl”, He Kexin.
As Anorak has reported before, He is a She, such is often the communist world’s way at Olympics time, and despite He’s hairy top lip and deep baritone voice, He might only be 14.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (2)
Pensioners And Under Youth In UK Breeding Programme
GIVEN the level of paedo panic and Gary Glitter’s return, the Telegraph’s front-page picture of an older adult hand holding that of a child sends a shiver of revulsion in reader’s spine.
We examine the bigger hand for signs of stardust, Glitter, if you will, and wonder if anyone out there can identify the claw?
New is that, according to the Office for National Statistics, pensioners now outnumber under 16s.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comment
Prison Files Lost: Gary Glitter Identifies Villains
“THOUSANDS of criminal files lost in data fiasco,” announces the Times.
Old Mr Anorak smiles and mutters something about it all being a terrific misunderstanding anyhow, and that he can now return to Wales.
The Mail puts it in more chilling terms: “DANGER CRIMINAL FILES GO MISSING.”
Those front-page words dice with a picture of Gary Glitter for our attention. Not all villains are now invisible. We have Glitter, and will watch him like a hawk at a nudists’ colony.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Blinking Liars And Fat Faced Nutters In The Telegraph
THE Telegraph brings good news for nose touchers, long held to be liars of the worst sort:
Liars blink less frequently than normal during the lie, and then speed up to around eight times faster than usual afterwards.
So reports Lucy Cockcroft, who, sadly, does not equip her feature with a video of her typing, and blinking.
In other Telegraph news, Roger Highfield tells us:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (3)
Italy Invades Britain At Snail’s Pace
THE Italians are upon us:
They have survived two world wars, a sex scandal and the feet of thousands of visitors to the Berkshire country house of Cliveden, to conduct what must be the slowest invasion of Britain by an alien species.
For the past 110 years, a colony of snails has managed to crawl unnoticed from an imported stone balustrade brought from Italy in the 1890s, to claim a piece of British territory up to the terrace of the house just 27m (88ft) away.
A National Trust volunteer spotted the snails while cleaning some statues in the garden. It was the first time that anyone had realised that the Mediterranean mollusc had managed to establish a bridgehead into Britain – at the dizzy pace of about 25cm a year.
Insert joke about reverse gears on Italian snails here…
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comment (1)
On Gary Glitter And Paedos
GARY Glitter. Let’s have a paedo amnesty. Hand in your paedo pics and videos and tell the cops where you got them. No action taken against you. How about it?
Carol Sarler writes in the Times:
With impeccably spun timing, while Gary Glitter hunkered down at Bangkok airport to avoid police interrogation at Heathrow, Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, took to the airwaves yesterday to announce new initiatives to prevent paedophiles from travelling as “sex tourists”. Snatch their passports, she cried. Ground them for five years. Nail their filthy feet to the floor.
Yeah, keep sexual deviants at home in the UK. Much better…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (11)
Tabloid Bingo At The Madrid Plane Crash
A PLAN has crashed in Madrid. Grim news. Horrific.
So what better time for a game of Tabloid Bingo!?
Eyes down for the front-page numbers of dead:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Amy Winehouse: Computer Game And Countdown To Escape From Rehab
AMY Winehouse? Yes, she is alive. And d0ing what’s does best: making news.
DAILY MIRROR: “Sadie Frost worse for wear after evening with Amy Winehouse”
Arriving at Amy’s Camden pad at around midnight, the 43-year-old mother-of-four was all perky and smiley, holding hands with on-off toy-boy lover Kristian Marr.
What happened?
We can only begin to imagine what happened behind closed doors…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
CPF Bans Pete Doherty’s Whirlpool Effect
MORE news from the Celebrity Police Force which has issued a statement that reads:
“The issue is not the act itself, it is the profile of fans that follow the act. Wiltshire police do not have an issue with Pete Doherty or Babyshambles.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment (1)
Madeleine McCann: A New eFit, Selling Books And A Rapist’s Cover Story
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY MIRROR: “Madeleine McCann: Nanny’s new sketch echoes picture of kidnapper”
That’s the picture on the left. For wont of name, we’ll call him Cool.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (386)
Gwyn And Bare It: Paltrow Wears Fur
LACRYMOSE actress Gwyneth Paltrow is fronting the autumn collection of fur-lined boots and bags from the Italian company Tod’s.
PETA, Viva and (Noakes) why are animal rights groups named after Blue Peter presenters) are unhappy, as is their wont. Says the Independent:
The row is ironic, as Ms Paltrow enjoys a close friendship with the designer Stella McCartney. Following in the footsteps of her staunchly vegetarian mother, Linda, Ms McCartney refuses to use fur – in direct contrast to the views of her friend, who has in the past described it as being “feminine and very elegant”.
Ironic. Sure thing.
Stella prefers suede and silk to fur.
Silk is made like this…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (2)
101 Per Cent Of Us Are Happy With Gordon Brown
THERE’S a new poll in the Guardian. The result gives the paper the front-page headline: “Change of leader would not help Labour beat Cameron.”
The statistics never lie – not even when 101% of the population respond…
Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (14)
The Person’s Republic Of Forvik
STUART Hill, 65, moved onto Forvik by the Shetlands– 2½ acres of rock and grass – last June.
He has been living in the Shetlands since 2001 after capsizing a yacht 50 miles northwest of Forvik during an attempt to sail around Britain, an incident that led to him being dubbed “Captain Calamity”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (3)
We’re all Drowning In Falling Sea Levels
GLOBAL warming panic: rising sea levels:
People living on some stretches of coastline will be forced to abandon their homes and move inland as sea levels rise, the new head of the Environment Agency has warned –Daily Telegraph
THE 11,000 inhabitants of a tiny Pacific country that was predicted to vanish under water because of the effects of global warming have been given a reprieve because sea levels have begun to fall – Daily Telegraph
At least we can swim…
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Saving Heather Mills, Journalists’ Kidzzz And Sick Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE TIMES: “Sorry, no more babies. Eco-doctor’s orders…”
Says Judith O’Reilly: “On holiday you become a Hydra-headed ‘problem to be dealt with’”
Judith is talking about her kidzzz
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527)
Olympic Balls: Michael Phelps Is A Greek God In Roman Times
MICHAEL Phelps has won seven gold medals… No eight… Now nine… And so on. Can you win too many gold medals?
In the Guardian Kate Rew is contemplating swimming with the Gods:
In the Olympics in Ancient Rome, the powerfully built swimmers (nude, like all the sportsmen, so the crowds could better appreciate the mastery of the human body) swam in the rolling currents of the Tiber.
Those ancient Greek Romans. Now they really good swim…
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (4)
Olympic Balls: Plucky Paula Radcliffe Rolls Back The Years
THE Olympics – This is our year.
And amid the “GOLD RUSH” (Express, Independent), “OUR GREATEST OLYMPIC DAY” (People) is the news that plucky Paula Radcliffe, the country’s great marathon runner, DID cry when she lost and DID stop two miles from home, bravely finishing the race in scenes reminiscent of Reach For The Sky.
Just four years ago Radcliffe wowed Olympic crowds in Athens when she failed to complete the course, dropping out of the race she had no hope of winning.
Now to prove that was no fluke, the spirit-of-the-blitz and never-say-die Brit picked up her running spikes and…
Continues in all papers…
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (12)
