Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Lady GaGa and the fat debate
FOR some inexplicable reason, we’re all supposed to care how much Lady GaGa weighs. Lately, it seems she’s put a bit of weight on and it is remarkable anyone noticed at all because we’re all too busy gawping at her unusual stage outfits, face implants and wild wigs.
Of course, there’s those who will judge her solely on her music (with both sides of the fence equally irritating, with the pro-column unable to accept criticism and the con-column unable to allow themselves to like pop music), but thanks to GaGa’s brazen hustling schtick, it seems that people lose their minds and start thinking that it is perfectly fine to point at a woman and titter about how she’s a slightly different shape than she was a week ago.
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Posted: 26th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Chris Brown surprisingly in court again (not that Rihanna cares)
TEAM BREEZY will be having kittens this week, as their sharp knuckled arsehole idol – Chris Brown – is in court again. Y OH Y CARNT DEY JUST PIK ON SOME1 ELS FFS?
Well, thanks to knocking seven shades out of Rihanna, Chris Brown is a watched man and he’s only gone and tested positive for drugs! That’s right, Breezy has been found to have marijuana in his system while he’s on probation for his infamous 2009 assault.
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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pro Lifers and Pattie Mallette want us to imagine life with an aborted Justin Bieber
WHAT is Justin Bieber had never existed. Would someone else have gotten his haircut? Town Hall reports on Pattie Mallette, who says finding Jesus prevent her form aborting the singing foetus:. In Mother of Teen Sensation Reveals How She Rejected Abortion, we are invited to daydream:
Imagine life without everyone’s favorite tween sensation, Justin Bieber, causing pandemonium every time he steps on stage. Well, if his mom Pattie Mallette had listened to advice to abort her son when she was 17, there would be no such thing as ‘Bieber Fever.’
Imagine… Baby, Baby, Baby Noooooo!
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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady Gaga’s body revolution let’s everything hang out
LADY Gaga wants to talk to you about her weight. On LittleMonsters.com, Lady Gaga wants to inspire a Body Revolution. She wants “To Inspire Bravery” and “BREED some m$therf*cking COMPASSION”. She writes:
My mother and I created the BORN THIS WAY FOUNDATION for one reason: “to inspire bravery.” This profile is an extension of that dream. Be brave and celebrate with us your “perceived flaws,” as society tells us. May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous.
Lady Gaga is not heinous. She has a lithe, dancer’s body. Although the Daily Mail recently called her “meaty”, a word that pretty much sums up the paper’s view of young women.
Says Gaga:
“Hey Guys its Gaga… Now that the body revolution has begun, be brave and post a photo of you that celebrates your triumph over insecurities.”
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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)
MUCH has been howled at in terms of the imminent badger cull. Badgers, you see, are not only pretend cute (cute from afar, tearing your face off and much larger than expected up-close) but they’re also meme-friendly and the pal of Bodger. To kill off a load of them would be to hurt many-a-feeling. However, the living half of Two Fat Ladies, Clarissa Dickson Wright, has just the solution!
Eat badgers.
That’s right. We should totally eat a protected species. She ate them when she was younger and, if a cete of badgers should get offed, then we humans should gorge on their gigantic bodies. Provided we don’t catch tuberculosis from them.
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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Lindsay Lohan’s carer in a gif
LINDSAY Lohan’s career can be summed up in a gif:
Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Return of the Ewok: Star Wars actor Warwick Davis goes looking for work
DAVID Tomblin broke from filming Star Wars movie Return of the Jedi to work on Return of the Ewok, a 24-minute film featuring Warwick Davis, 11, looking for work. Can he be Chelsea’s goalkeeper? A weightlifter? Young Davis goes to see The Empire Strikes Back. Duly inspired, Warwick decides on a career in acting…
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Josphine Baker rocks the yellow banana two-piece: 1936 in photos
JOSEPHINE Baker works the yellow banana skirt at the Ziegfeld Follies performance on 11/02/1936:
Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
Show-off Kanye West not so keen on sex-tape release
DESPITE the fact Kanye West’s little yeezy has appeared online already, he’s not so thrilled at the notion of a sex-tape of himself doing the rounds in public. And to think, this coming from a man who is hopelessly devoted to Kim Kardashian, a woman who became famous overnight after starring in one of the most lifeless sex-bouts ever to burn itself onto the public’s collective retina.
Numerous sites reported the existence of this tape and something of a bidding war began, with figures going into the millions.
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Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Taliban and Al Qaeda big losers at 64th Primetime Emmy Awards: winners in full
TO the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards, to see Damian Lewis win best actor in a drama series for his role in Homeland, and Dame Maggie Smith win best supporting actress for her role in Downton Abbey. Lewis thanked his wife: “I adore you darling.” Claire Danes, who won best actress for her role in Homeland thanks to: “My husband, my love, my life, my baby daddy, this doesn’t mean anything without you.” Such is the fascination with the War on Terror (what Obama wanted renamed the “Overseas Contingency Operation” and George Dubya Bush We actually wanted called “the struggle against ideological extremists who do not believe in free societies who happen to use terror as a weapon to try to shake the conscience of the free world”) that it features on one front page: the Sun leads with news that British Taliban wants to murder Prince Harry. Other Brits merely want to fight him in a bar or shag him.
Claire Danes did not thank the Taliban nor Al Qaeda for making great TV possible.
War! What is it good for? Good telly and
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Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Green day’s Billy Joe Armstrong heads to rehab after this on-stage hissy fit
GREEN Day front man is in rehab. He was recently filmed in Las Vegas, being unhappy at the iHeartRadio Festival.
Bring the kids. It’s toddler time (NSFW):
Blake admits getting Amy Winehouse into hard drugs
AMY Winehouse’s ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil tells the Sun:
“I don’t know whether it absolves my guilt or responsibility. But it meant I didn’t kill my ex-wife…I was the one who brought drugs into the relationship. When the toxicology results came back I was relieved there were no drugs in her system.”
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Posted: 23rd, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg bite the rubber fist
PARIS Hilton and Snoop Dogg met in 2009. MTV was there to record the action. It was fabulous – the first TV show to come equipped with a rubber first all viewers could insert into their mouths and chew on lest they cringe the veneers from their teeth clean off:
Posted: 20th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Paris Hilton thinks all gay men have AIDS does she?
WHEN Donna Summer made some dodgy comments about AIDS, her glorious career vanished down the toilet. At least Paris Hilton has no talent of note to waste on the back of her claim that most gay men have AIDS.
Doctor Hilton is in the house everyone!
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Posted: 20th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Travolta goes half cocked at Salma Hayek’s cleavage: Savages photo call
WHO cares what kind of a film Savages proves to be. The London photo call will be a hard act to follow. Salma Hayek supplied the beverages; Oliver Stone nearly fell into her cleavage; and John Travolta put on his Play People hair, cocked an arm on his hip and wondered what all the fuss was about…
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The Kardashian Klan are in panto – plot and photos
THE Kardashian clan are ready for pantomime. The great 14 and Holy Candy have cast Kim Kardashian as Booty, Kanye West as The Ego Beast, Bruce Jenner as Taut Teacup, Kris Jenner as Leaky Teapot, Khloe Kardashian as The Khlock, and tragic Kris Humphries as Old Flame in Booty & The Beast.
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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
21st Century Presidents v The 3 Disgraces
NICK Walker’s canvas 21st Century Presidents a satirical image of Mount Rushmore, with the President’s heads substituted with popular icons actress Lindsay Lohan, singer Britney Spears, and socialites Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, estimated at $30,000-$50,000, (20,000-32,000 pounds sterling / 24,300-40,500 euro) at Bonham’s in central London, Thursday, Aug. 9, 2012. The Urban art sale will be held in Los Angeles, USA, on 29 October 2012.
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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lindsay Lohan has been arrested, which is a massive surprise!
THE LAPD must be sick of the sight of Lindsay Lohan by now. She’s been arrested so many times that she’s probably got a worn arse-groove on bench at the station. And she’s been arrested again, of course, this time getting her collar felt for leaving the scene of an accident after allegedly clipping a pedestrian in NYC.
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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Hobbit trailer is here! Sadsacks rejoice!
THE Lord of the Rings trilogy were a lousy bunch of films that were akin to Star Wars, episodes 1-3: The MTV Unplugged version. Bad CGI, too much clunky dialogue and politics and, worst of all, roughly 80 years too long. Still, they were furiously successful and spawned fans so ardent that I’m probably going to be killed in my sleep for not liking them.
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When Kym Marsh married in OK! we pined for Jagger and Bianca
LAST week, OK! showed us Kym Marsh (Coronation Street actress formerly married to EastEnders actor Jack Ryder) tie the knot with Jamie Lomas (actor on Hollyoaks). What we did not learn was what the couple and their guests ate. Thankfully, OK! has news:
Guests sipped sauvignon blanc and rosada wine in Jasmine glasses to accompany their starter of melon and Cheshire air-dried ham and a vanilla and black pepper dressing…a mouth-watering roast breast of chicken with mini roast potatoes and mash, honey-roasted vegetables with a Yorkshire pudding and smoked bacon jus…a trio [of] desserts…lemon tart, Eton mess and chocloate pot in a delicious cup made of rich cholocate…
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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Adel, and the gnawing predictability of a Bond theme
NEED a Bond theme? Get someone with a big, booming voice, right? Not quite. Nancy Sinatra did the best one and she’s hardly operatic. Either way, these days, it’s all about divas who can belt one out. Simon Cowell has probably been shoving Leona Lewis in the faces of James Bond producers since she won X Factor.
However, unsurprisingly, Adele’s name is being floated around for Skyfall, the 23rd Bond film. That’s because she can pelt a song out AND just happens to have sold a gazillion records.
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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The greatest line on Jennifer Aniston’s pregnancy ever (and photo)
IN the shadow lands between fact and fiction lies the National Enquirer. This week, the paper has news that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. Had the Enquirer been right ever time it announced this happening on its cover “POOR Jen” would have been pregnant for nine years. Mindful of the guesswork, we read about “Aniston’s big announcement” – that only one news tabloid heard:
“There is already space for a nursery in Jennifer Aniston’s $21 million Bel Air, Calif., mansion.”
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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rupert Everett doesn’t like gay dads (nothing to do with awful Britpop group)
THERE may be something of a shitstorm coming Rupert Everett’s way as he’s declared that he “can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads“.
Now, of course, Rupert is a gay man himself, so this confuses matters. People won’t know whether to call him a homophobe or simply, an insensitive twerp. Either way, for such a normally likeable man, these comments are going to stick in many-a-craw.
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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
B Movie posters: young women being violated by fish, plants, monsters and men
IN the 1950s and 1960s, posters for B movies routinely featured scantily dressed young women in peril. We’ve compiled a gallery of the very best, including women being attacked by sexually aroused: flying fish; the undead; plants; werewolves, massive apes; robots; monsters; vampires; zombies; their husbands…
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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment (1)
Gordon’s Ramsay’s shopping mantra make shim lose control of his arms
GORDON Ramsay’s shopping mantra makes him lose control of his arms:
Posted: 17th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
