Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Rihanna ‘protective’ over Chris Brown
RIHANNA has been very, very quiet about the whole domestic battery thing that she had with Chris Brown. Not nearly as quiet as Chris Brown mind you, who thus far, has steadfastly refused to apologise to anyone or, indeed, show the world that he’s learned how to improve his behaviour (getting into beefs with Drake, being homophobic, throwing chairs through windows at US TV stations).
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Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna being sued for $10m for views on Pussy Riot
DESPITE the fact that this writer continually undermines Pussy Riot’s message by utterly fancying Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, the movement has attracted huge attention across the world as they rally against Russian premier Vlad Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church.
The stars of pop have come out in support of Pussy Riot, most notably, Madonna who stuck up for them during a gig in Russia. Three Pussy Riot members were sentenced to spend 2 years in prison for “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred” and now, thanks to Queen Madge’s support, she’s getting sued for more than $10million by emboldened hardliners.
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Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Top Gun director falls to his death in thoroughly awful suicide
TOP GUN director Tony Scott, younger brother of Ridley, has committed suicide after falling to his death from a bridge in Los Angeles.
Scott’s death has sent Hollywood into instant grieving, with celebrities taking to twitter to offer sympathies and pay tribute. The director was responsible for some of the most fun films in cinema, such as Enemy of the State, Days Of Thunder, True Romance and Beverly Hills Cop II. Ron Howard went for a simple: “No more Tony Scott movies. Tragic day.” Martha Plimpton meanwhile said: “So very, very sorry to hear of the death of Tony Scott. A terrible, terrible loss of a truly talented, brilliant man.”
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Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tulisa, the Rampant Rabbit and an Olympic gold medal winner
THE X Factor is underway, and with it comes more news on Tulisa, the show’s designated star. News in the Sun is that Tulisa is not dating right now. But she might do soon. Hey, she might even shag a contestant or a rampant rabbit (read about that PR fakery here). Tulisa is quoted in the Sun today:
“I’m out and about a lot and I meet loads of people but it’s hard to meet someone. If I can’t find it at events where I’m surrounded by people similar to me, in the same industry, I doubt I’m gonna find it in a contestant. I’d never date someone I’m mentoring, or any contestant while the show is on. But if I met a contestant six months down the line that was not in my category, who I just happened to find chemistry with… I’d date anyone who I got along with or who I found date-worthy. Like I said, it doesn’t matter what their job is.”
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Posted: 19th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Megadeth: Nazi Obama is staging massacres, apparently
EVEN a passing metal fan could tell you that Dave Mustaine – the lead singer of Megadeth and original member of Metallica – is batshit mental. He’s got things misfiring in his brain that would make a lunatic laugh uncomfortably. And now, Mustaine is going all David Icke and sharing conspiracy theories with us all.
This time, saying that Barack Obama “staged” the massacre in Colorado in a bid to pass a gun ban.
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Posted: 17th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
KP Nuts: Katie Price tweeted this photo of her lover’s genitals
KATIE Price has tweeted this phone with the words “Aren’t I a lucky girl!!!!” Is that her curent squeeze Leandro Penna, he of the Fisher Prize engagement ring and thought of being run over by a lorry?
Whoever it is on the end of the gonads, they are, are they not, KP’s Nuts.
Posted: 16th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: at last it’s back (launch night photos)
CHANNEL 4’s decision to get rid of Celebrity Big Brother seems ludicrous. Last night, C4 broadcast Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not, a programme seen by 1.19m people. This was followed by 24 Hours in A&E (2.05m) and a truly pisspoor show called Sex Story: Fifty Shades of Grey (968k). Over on Five, the Big Brother launch was seen by 2.6m. Although 3.5 million saw the launch show last year, the figure are still decent. For all its up and downs, CBB is one of the best reality television shows ever.
It’s the show that gave us:
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Posted: 16th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Has Jackie Stallone divorced her face?
JACKIE Stallone, once of Big Brother and since 1946 Sly Stallone’s mother, has a new look. As Glinner wonders: “Jackie Stallone divorces her face ”
You can see how Jackie’s face has adapted to fame and fortune over the years here. It may be a hostage to both…
Spotter: @rudemrlang
Posted: 16th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dog the Bounty Hunter denied glorious British TV appearance because of some poxy murder
BRITISH television has been denied the appearance of glorious be-mulleted thunderberk, Dog the Bounty Hunter because of a little ol’ murder. Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman was apparently all set for an appearance on Celebrity Big Brother (yes, it would appear that this is a show that is still being aired, remarkably), but stupid suits put the scuppers on it and denied him a UK visa thanks to his conviction for a harmless murder in 1976.
The Seventies were a different time. Everyone was murdering each other back then weren’t they? But no, immigration swine stopped him and his tremendous mane from being locked in a house to go slightly mad over a series of televised weeks.
HOW DARE THEY?
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Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Celebrities made to look normal
EVER wondered that celebrities would look like if they wer photoshopped to look ‘normal’? Well, some bright sparks went to work and produced these images of Scarlett Johansson, ‘poor’ Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Madonna. They are all brilliant:
Spotter: LostEMinor
Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Kim Kardashian divorce dragged out by Kris Humphries for absolutely no reason
IT really is a sorry state of affairs when your acrimonious split and divorce is a thousand times longer than your actual marriage. And that’s the sorry state that Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian are in after their lawyers rinsed the pair for money while pretending they were wringing their hands with worry all along.
And so, the lawyers for these vacuous bozos are to wink at each other before ‘squaring off’ in court today to tell Kris Humprhris that he needs to shit, or get off the pot. So what gives?
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Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
One Direction fan magazine subjects Caroline Flack to Daily Mail-style sexism
CAROLINE Flack once dated Harry styles, leading hair in One Direction, a teenager her junior by 14 years. Many one Direction fans were upset. Stephanie Eff spotted this article in a One Direction fan magazine subjecting Caroline Flack to Daily Mail-style sexism. Looks like the next generation of the newspaper’s columnists are keeping up with the programme to present all women as competition to ridicule and rubbish in public…
You can click the image to read it in full:
“Never before have 1D fans united in greater numbers than to share their ‘feelings’ for Caroline Flack, the old woman who dated Harry Styles. She was the host of England’s The X Factor where 1D got their break. But today she spends her time reading hate mail. So to help you, here’s voodoo doodoo Caroline.”
UPDATE: The magazine is called Girl’s Guide to One Direction HD. It was published in May 2012 by New York-based publisher Topix Media Lab LLC. You can buy it on via iTunes.
The greatest magazine dedicated to the greatest band in the world. Everything you have to know about One Direction including never-before-seen photographs, backstage controversy, exclusive interviews and secrets on meeting the band (from re-tweets to getting their attention at concerts). Plus digital posters, matching games and the first ever One Direction Awards Ceremony!
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Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Miley Cyrus celebrates the two-fingered salute (photos)
HATS off to Miley Cyrus. When news ricocheted around twitter that Miley had put her hair in a new style, our first thought was for the Jerry Sadowitz reaction, who when hearing that Princess Diana had put her hair in a bun, quipped “and her **** in a toaster”. But then we saw the photos Miley, we overlooked her vapid weltschmerz and a reassurance to all teenage boys – “self love is the greatest of all flatterers” – and noticed her two-finger salute. She’s in. The one-finger ‘bird’ is American cultural imperialism in action. Save the ‘V’ sing. Your country needs you…
Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kim Kardashian has been debating Søren Kierkegaard on twitter
ARE you following @KimKierkegaardashian on twitter? It’s the blog that blends the vapid thoughts of Søren Kierkegaard with the wit and wisdom of Kim Kardashian. Spotter: Steven Corfe
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Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Robert Pattinson gets ice-cream from Jon Stewart over K-Stew break-up
DESPITE being a man so outrageously dull to the point where death itself will probably overlook him, Robert Pattinson is feeling the first stirrings of feeling. After years of being a veritable clump of human flotsam, he’s trying to produce some tears and emotion.
It really is beautiful to watch.
And this, of course, is all because his ex, Kristen Stewart allowed a married, older man to insert his penis into her. Kristen and The Other Man issued public apologies and millions of Twilight fans moistened with a bizarre mix of lust and pity for Pattz.
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Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Poor Jen: Jennifer Aniston engaged to man she split from
YES! Poor Jennifer Aniston, the tabloids’ ‘Poor Jen’, is marrying Justin Theroux (photos of his buffness here). The mega-rich, successful actress who shagged the young Brad Pitt before he was saddled with children and hats, who has great hair and a nose that sits on the front page of Messers Nip ‘n’ Tucks’s Hollywood catalogue is marrying a good looking man with no baggage.
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Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Rav Wilding tweets: Chantelle Houghton is ‘fame hungry tramp’
TWITER Troll alert! Send for the Sweeney, aka The Tweety. No tweet is too small for the boys in blue to investigate. As BBC TV’s in-house ex-copper Rav Wilding announces his engament to Loose Women producer Jill Morgan, ex-love and new mum Houghton tweets:
At a time when twitter bullying is at an all time high it’s a shame that rav being an expoliceman and someone ppl look up to should retweet
nice to see pics of
@ravwilding looking happy and engaged ..especially after all the drama with a certain fame hungry tramp last year 🙂
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Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
The Expendables 2 premiere in photos: The A-Team in Corduroy vein suits
MONDAY. So, to the UK premiere of the Expendables 2, in the company of the ubiquitous Hofit Golan. If Paul McCartney cannot make it to open your event with Hey Jude, Hofit Golan will most likely rock up. Anorak plans to open an envelope on September 13 followed by the bonnet of a car in late October. Hofit should get the nod. (Nothing personal, Macca.) Also there were Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger, a group so unreal, they resemble an ambulatory puppet-faced A-Team in corduroy vein suits. Also there: Usain Bolt, an action film actor in the making. (PS: Hofit Golan is not expendable. She is merely dependable.)
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Rihanna LP scores number one with paltry sales: The record industry is dead man, miss him, miss him…
THE record industry has long been in decline. Basically, people got sick of the mark-up on CDs and, more importantly, were thunderously tired of having to find places for their CDs to live. MP3s may lack the character of vinyl and such, but boy howdy, they’re a lot neater aren’t they?
Sadly for the recording industry, MP3s (a format designed to maximise profits) are easily stolen, which has seen sales dropping dramatically. Which brings us to the news that Rihanna has just topped the album charts with the lowest sales figures EVER.
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Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Do not adjust your brains: Van Damme talks about his affair with Kylie
SOMETIMES a headline alludes to something, only to avoid delivering. ‘CHERYL COLE’S ENJOYS THREE IN A BED PUSSYFEST’ could well be about a picture she’s tweeted of herself, in bed with two farting felines. Well, this headline is giving it to you straight. Jean Claude Van Damme is saying that he’s had sex with Kylie Minogue. Over to JCVD:
“Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. I would have been abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming.
“She wasn’t acting like a big star. I know Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She’s a great lady.”
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Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
For sale – King of Poop: The Michael Jackson car windscreen bird poo
MICHAEL Jackson is now a bird poo on a car windscreen. Splatto Jacko – the King of Poop – fell from the Heavens onto the 1996 Cadillac Seville owned by 29-year-old Brandon Tudor of Oswego, Illinois.
Says he:
“Everybody loves it. There’s not one person who’s seen it that doesn’t agree it looks like Michael Jackson.”
The temptation would be to put the car in your longe and create the Celebrity Bird Shit Museum, featuring lookalikes of Stalin, John Terry and France. And you might yet because Tudor is selling his windscreen on eBay. He says:
“One of two things will happen. It will go for an astronomical amount or I’ll get nothing.”
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Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment
Spice Girls spotted rehearsing for Olympics closing ceremony (photos)
EVERYONE knows that The Spice Girls are playing the Olympic closing ceremony. It’s been a dreadfully kept secret. However, now we get to look at them hamming it up around some Hackney carriages as a photo is leaked that seems to show Baby, Sporty, Ginger, Scary, Posh, Leggy, Arsey, Remorsey and Vomity rehearsing for the show.
Of course, this poses the question: What will the girls be singing? It’s almost nailed-on that they’ll be doing some kind of medley of Spice Up Your Life, Wannabe, Who Do You Think You Are and One Of The Ballads.
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Posted: 11th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband Blaaaaaaake on life support
NEWS has broken concerning Blake Fielder-Civil, the ex-husband of the late Amy Winehouse. It has been reported that he’s on a life support machine after suffering multiple organ failure following his ingestion of too much drink and drugs.
Fielder-Civil was rushed to the hospital in Dewsbury after he was found choking in bed after drinking, according to his partner, Sarah Aspin.
“The doctors say they don’t know the prognosis,” Aspin, who is the mother of Fielder-Civil’s 15-month-son, told The Sun. “They said they put him in a coma to help him and due to infection. I’m praying he’ll survive, but I’m having to prepare myself that he may never wake up.”
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Posted: 10th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
