Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Justin Bieber wanted by police after paparazzi gets hospitalised
WE’VE (that’d be the Royal ‘we’ of sneering pop-culture writers) all been waiting for Justin Bieber to go full-fat brat and, well, it seems to be happening. After being a squeaky clean, good ol’ Christian boy, he’s slated the girl who said he got her pregnant in public, he’s flipped the bird at photographers and said ‘everything happens for a reason’ about rape victims.
And now, he’s a wanted man by the police.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole takes a dive
CHERLY Cole is back. On the weekend, the singer dived from the balcony onto The Voice stage, where she was caught by a bevy of male dancers. That was in keeping with the Year’s Olympic theme. But, of course, this is precisely how the lads from Chelsea FC choose their conquests. Stung by the kind of kiss ‘n’ revelations that helped separate Cheryl from the Blues’ Ashley Cole, the players are now cautious: if they toss the lovely in the air and she lands face down, the lads give the thumbs up and she’s whisked off to Grosvenor House for a barbecue; face up and the lady waits while the players check her identity against their C-fit app. and Max Clifford’s client list.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The best photo of Justin Bieber and his fans ever
THIS might well be the best ever photo of Justin Bieber and his fans:
Coleen Rooney refuses to send Kai to boarding school
LAST week was a big one for Coleen Rooney. She was front-page news on the Daily Mail on account of her being photographed on a sun lounger in Las Vegas. Heat magazine calculated that she was so in love that Coleen had piled on 4lbs in weight. And then Coleen grasped the nettle and gave us a rare insight into her starry life when she tweeted:
Had a fantastic night at Elton John Vegas Show last night!! And so nice to meet him!!! #starstruck
This was followed by:
Stressful nursery run!!! #jetlag Off the gym.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Brooklyn Lee – what really happened (photos)
JENNIFER Taule, Tasha Reign, and Brooklyn Lee are the trio of porn stars who met and got photographed with Bill Clinton.
Bill just needs to add a witticism, such as “I never inhaled – Bill”, “I got my 3-4-1 dry cleaning voucher – Monica’s Mess”, or “My other lover killed Osama bin Laden – you cannot hide”.
For now the only one talking is Brooklyn Lee, winner of the Best BJ scene at the Adult Video News Awards (but Bill already knew that). She tells Coed magazine:
COED: “Well, it seems to have worked out well for you. Is your real name Brooklyn?”
Brooklyn: “Lol obviously not. Who names their kid Brooklyn?”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Secure John Travolta cradles Barbara Streisand’s Face
HOW’S John Travolta dealing with those allegations that he’s a predatory gay man? Why, by creating a Mother’s Day video for his wife Kelly Preston, who pointed us towards the film when she said: “My husband, Johnny, made his directorial debut creating a special Mother’s Day video for me. I was so moved and love it so much that I wanted to share it with all of you.”
The film features photos of the Travolta family set to the strains of Barbara Streisand’s That Face.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
List-makers add Elton John to 2013 deathpool sheets
DEATH. As a dark Shadow, beckons his prey into the unknown by a soft whisper in the soul. Or, in the case of Elton John, something that will be of great concern after he was hospitalised after he came down with a ”serious respiratory infection”. No poetry will ever make Elton John want to die. He wants to live forever. In a palace made from diamonds and marbles.
Mister Yellow Brick Road was rushed to the Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, where they have hospital beds made from cocaine and chihuahuas, in the early hours of yesterday morning. He’s undergone every single test on Earth (just in case anyone is competitive about such matters, so he can eventually roll his eyes and say “yeah, had it”) and doctors have told him he won’t be performing ever again. Okay. That’s not true. He won’t be performing for a bit.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sharon Stone sued by former nanny for being a bit ‘racist’ and generally ‘abusive’
BASIC INSTINCT showed us Sharon Stone’s genitals and Total Recall showed us her boobies (while Sliver showed us so much that we could all see what she’d had for her dinner). However, it’s Stone’s former housekeeper that wants us to know even more about her. Provided we add ‘allegedly’ to the whole proceedings.
See, Sharon is being sued by her former lackey who is making all kinds of fantastic claims about the woman no-one knew could act until she appeared in Casino.
In a court document, Erlinda T. Elemen’s harassment lawsuit claims Stone insulted her Filipino accent, saying that Stone wouldn’t let her speak in front of her children so they would “not talk like you”. Elemen also claims that Stone wouldn’t allow her to read the Bible in the actress’ home. Although, that seems fair given that reading fiction at work is slacking off work.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
James Bond is nothing but a beer-swilling sell-out
YOU may think James Bond is a suave, sophisticated man. That’s probably because he drives expensive sports cars, travels in luxury, always has a nice watch on and is the epitome of tailored cool. Right?
You couldn’t be more wrong.
You see, Ol’ Bondy is ditching his famous Martini in favour of being a loutish, beer swigging, burping sell-out. That’s right. No long will Bond be asking for his cocktail ‘shaken, not stirred’ because he’ll be too busy crushing beer cans on his head and howling at football matches (what team does Bond support anyway?).
Read the rest of this entry »
High flying Will.i.am fights global warming with a day torch
WHEN not nodding and smirking, The Voice’s talen investigator, a kind of musical Ironside, Will.i.am is part of the celebrity flight club, the elite group of jet-setting eco-activists that number chopping Gisele Bündchen and her eco-Ark, Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Brad Pitt, Jeanette Winterson, Jeremy Irons and Trudie Styler.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady Gaga: The Far East your in photos and disguise
LADY Gaga has been to the Far East. The woman who would have been the white Grace Jones had Madonna not beaten her to it has been in Hong Kong, Japan, Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines. In Manila, some Christians say Lady Gaga is the devil incarnate and must be banned for: a) taking Jesus’ name in vain; and/or b) not billing herself as Lady LaLa, thereby helping the ticket bookers handle the phones with minimal confusion. In these photos, look out for the religionists and the fans, some of whom might actually be GaGa blowing her own trumpet, ecumenically speaking…
13360234
South Korean Christians pray during a service as they call for the cancellation of a concert of U.S. pop star Lady Gaga at a church in Seoul, South Korea, Sunday, April 22, 2012. Lady Gaga's April 27 concert in Seoul was banned to over-18s by the Korea Media Rating Board as Gender Equality Ministry considers one of her songs to be performed at the show as "inappropriate" for minors. (AP Photo/Lee Jin-man)
Damon Albarn strops out of Blur sessions
BLUR managed to endure where many other Britpop and 90s indie bands faltered. That’s mainly because Blur are considerably better than Shed Seven, Menswear, Echobelly, Molly Halfhead, Strangelove, Powder, Laxton’s Superb, Spirea X, The Mystics, Gay Dad and… the list is almost endless, thanks largely to Britpop being one of the most overrated genres in history.
Either way, Blur (pictured here 1994) got back together and played some shows and everyone cooed over Graham Coxon and Damon Albarn being pals again. Watching Damon and Graham perform together is, ostensibly, porn for thirtysomethings. Everything was (Villa) rosy in the Blur garden again!
WRONG.
Read the rest of this entry »
Simon Cowell and Pudsey’s bitches
OK! continues its bonkers reporting style by leading with a photo of Pudsey and Ashleigh, the winners of Britain’s Got Talent, and a quote from Pudsey the dog (and for an encore the dancing dog will now speak):
“I get more hot hounds sniffing around me than Simon Cowell.”
Is OK! saying that Cowell’s admirers are dogs? Why aren’t they bitches? And will these dog tell all..?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Josh Hutcherson’s gets Heath Ledger’s old nose
JOSH Hutcherson has taken ownership of Heath Ledger’s old nose. Well, so reports the Daily Mail in its news on the Hunger Games’ star. Heath Ledger’s nose is fifth most popular nose in Hollywood, having previously appeared with Zebulon Walton in The Waltons and Sarah Bernhardt…
That caption: “Big makeover: Hunger Games star Hutcherson, left, has a new house as well as new nose which used to be owned by the late Ledger”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Goonies: The sequel? The musical?
EVER wondered what Sloth is up to these days? Due to his crippling brain-injury suffered at the hands of his clumsy parents (probably getting released from jail around now for trying to kill a group of children), he’s probably dead. That’s sad isn’t it? Elsewhere, Data is probably working for Google now and Chunk is invariably a regular guest on various infomercials for dramatic weight-loss with Richard Simmons.
Why would we be musing about all this? Well, Josh Brolin – who played Brand in The Goonies – has revealed that he’s been talking to Steven Spielberg about making a sequel.
Read the rest of this entry »
UN banned Sacha Baron Cohen from filming at UN because he might ‘upset dictators’
SACHA BARON COHEN is not a man that appears from behind his disguises very often, but he’s peered out from beneath his comedy facial fuzz to talk about his latest creation, Admiral General Aladeen.
And during an interview with the BBC, the Ali G and Borat star made an astonishing claim! He said: “The interesting thing is, when we asked to shoot inside the United Nations, they actually refused. We said ‘this is a pro-democracy movie’. They said ‘that’s the problem – we represent a lot of dictators, and they are going to be very angry by this portrayal of them so you can’t shoot in there’.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Will Smith slaps reporter Vitalii Sediuk in the face after kiss attempt
HEY! You know Will Smith right? That loveable wag who gave us the soundtrack to summer summer summertime and starred in a buncha films ranging from ‘okay’ to ‘dreadful’. Well, he’s promoting Men In Black 3 (or MIB3 if you like abbreviations) and, while out in Moscow, he slapped the lips off a reporter who tried to give him a Frenchie.
Possibly.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Stars and their vinyl records – photos
VINLY was once the coolest thing around. The famous faces posed with their hit parade, and imported records and cemented their credentials as happening cats and kittens. Here’s a gallery of yesteryear’s idols – Presley, Monroe, Lennon, Hepburn, Nicholson and lots of other people so famous that their surnames are enough to recognise them by – checking out their vinyl…
Spotter: Dangerous Minds and Schallplatten
When Joey Barton met Michael Barrymore – what really happened
TABLOID Spin of The Week award goes to the Daily Star, which spotted that Michael Barrymore had tweeted QPR bad boy Joey Barton, recently in the news for behaving badly on the pitch at Manchester City. The Daily Star thundered:
“MICHAEL BARRYMORE: I’LL CURE JOEY BARTON DEMONS AWIGHT!”
Jerry Lawton told Star readers:
“Joey Barton was last night offered help tackling his demons by Michael Barrymore.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
How Katie Price tricked the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
BEYOND irony story of the sat features the new that Katie Price is going to sue Jordan for breach of copyright.
The Pan-Arabia Enquirer, a satirical website, says Katie Price will sue the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan for abusing her global trademark:
Katie Price’s solicitors, Bed, Knobs & Broomsticks, are claiming that, with 185 autobiographies and 65 reality TV shows already under her belt, the model has a far greater international connection to the name ‘Jordan’ than the country of Jordan, which has so far only been the setting for Laurence of Arabia and a few rubbisher films.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Now That Bono’s a billionaire from Facebook can he start spending his own money?
THE Irish Independent reports today that Bono has just become a billionaire as a result of the flotation of Facebook. It makes him the richest rock star on the planet:
Elevation, which invests in media, technology and music companies, paid around $90m for just over 2.3pc of the company in November 2009. At the time Elevation had a reputation as “arguably the worst-run institutional fund of any size in the United States”, according to the influential investing blog, 24/7 Wall Street.
Now however, that stake will be valued at about $2.4bn (€1.9bn), of which Bono’s share will be as much as $1.5bn (€1.17bn). That profit will push Bono ahead of Paul McCartney as the richest musician on the planet. The former Beatle is worth as estimated £665m (€827m).
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The history of record buying in a gif
THE history of record buying in a gif shows us how we like to buy music. The trick is guessing what next?
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Music | Comments (2)
The leeching Sun turns Donna Summer’s death into a murder mystery
DONNA Summer has died. the media’s ‘Queen of Disco’ was just 63. The singer born Ladonna Adrian Gaines is on three front pages:
The Times: “Donna Summer, Queen of Disco, dies of cancer”
The Independent: “Death of a disco diva”
And the Sun, which pays tribute to a rare talent who gave pleasure to millions with the front-page screamer:
“‘9/11 dust’ Kills Donna Summer”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Tony Blackburn – 499 left to go
WHEN we read that Tony Blackburn had slept with 500 women, we looked around the place for signs for telltale nylon threads on blouse cuffs. And then the Daily Mirror named one of the conquests as Lyn Paul. This was followed by an apology:
Following our article of 1 May 2012 in which it was reported that Lyn Paul of the New Seekers was a “conquest” of Tony Blackburn, Ms Paul has contacted us to say that she merely shared a dinner date with Tony Blackburn and neither slept with him nor had a relationship with him.
499 to go…
Photo: 1980 – Radio One Disc Jockeys take time off to push Jimmy Savile from Broadcasting House to Park Lane by bed, in aid of the Variety Club of Great Britain and the Outward Bound Trust. (L-R) Simon Bates, Dave Lee Travis, Tony Blackburn, Kid Jensen and Steve Wright.
Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Cannes 2012: the opening Gala in photos
TO Cannes for the opening gala of the 2012 show. The talk in Europe is all about austerity versus debt. Cannes is somewhere else…
13539207
