Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
RIP hard-working Queen of Disco
SINGER Donna Summer died Thursday morning after battling cancer. The 63-year-old singer known as the “Queen of Disco” shot to fame in the 1970s and was working hard until the end. She was reportedly planning to release a new album.
Gym employee joins long queue of people touched by Travolta
HEY! John Travolta! Everyone kinda assumed you were gay, or at least bi, so don’t worry about your career! However, there’s a small matter of taking people’s sex without exactly asking for it. Don’t worry though! Roman Polanski still earns a decent living!
What’s that? Oh yes, there’s YET ANOTHER man accusing you of sexual misconduct. This time, it’s a gym employee who has accused the Pulp Fiction star of groping him against his will. Marty Singer, Travolta’s rep, says: “As a result of the published lies about my client we expect some ‘John Does’ to come out of the woodwork and assert false claims.”
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Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cannes 2012: Day 2 photos – Marion Cotillard adds star quality to Rust and Bone
CANNES 2012: Day 2 photos – Marion Cotillard adds star quality to Rust and Bone at the 65th international film festival, with added Matthias Schoenaerts. The film is about a woman with no legs who falls in love with a bare-knuckled boxer in Antibes on the Cote d’Azur. Oh, and for added realism, Cotillard trains killer whales. If the films are about escaping the normal to experience the quintessential human spirit somewhere else, this ticks the boxes. Well worth a look. Score: Three Orcas.
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Kerry Katona’s DIY tummy tuck
KERRY Katona wants to tell OK! readers about her tummy tuck:
“Right now I’m still in bandages after my tummy ruck bit I can’t tell you how I Love have flatter tummy.”
Got that, readers? Cancel the tummy tuck and just mummify yourself. No charge for that info. The Anorak consultation rooms are open. Next…
Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kym Marsh and Jamie Lomas – meat the lovers
LOVELY story in this week’s OK! about Coronation Street actress Kym Marsh and her man Jamie Lomas. The cover says they “FINALLY CONFESS”. ‘To what?,’ you might ask. The pair are pictured in bed, apparently naked. They are also twice pictured on the point of a passionate kiss. In other, Marsh holds a aloft load of balloons. Why? Perhaps she carries them with her everywhere?
We soon learn that this is “their FIRST and ONLY interview SINCE the CHEATING ALLEGATIONS”. It’s an update on the Sun’s story of Katie Moores, 26, who claimed she’d kissed Lomas at a room in Leeds’ Park Plaza Hotel. Lomas says that’s rubbish. Marsh says:
“The reason I’m standing by my man is he hasn’t done anything wrong. If he’d done it, it would be a different kettle of fish. But he wouldn’t.”
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Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cannes 2012: Day 1 photos – Bill Murray works the lens in Moonrise Kingdom
CANNES 2012 in photos: Bill Murray and Bruce Willis stole the show effortlessly as director and writer Wes Anderson (he co-wrote it with Roman Coppola)and co-star Edward Norton worked the cameras for Moonrise Kingdom at the 65th international film festival. Moonrise Kingdom is the festival opener, a quirky, fragile, alluring and ultimately inconsequential tale of teenage love New England America. It stars Tilda Swinton as a retro child catcher, Murray and Willis. The cast alone makes it worth a look…
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Uh-oh! More developments with John Travolta and the reverse massagers!
MASSAGE is always a word that has raised the eyebrows of the eternally mucky minded, but since John Travolta got accused of all-manner of stuff, the world has been introduced to the notion of a ‘reverse massage’, which sounds like the filthiest thing ever.
Anyway, one of the massage therapists who accused John Travolta of sexually assaulting him at the Beverly Hills Hotel has hired super high-profile attorney Gloria Allred to represent him. This is interesting because this comes just one day after he withdrew from a lawsuit filed by another lawyer. Thought Travolta was off-the-hook? Seems not.
“We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take,” Allred said. Of course, the original suit is still pending, but now, it involves just one male therapist who says he got groped up.
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Posted: 16th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In photos – Men In Black 3D with Will Smith on hurdles
TO the Men In Black 3D photocall, then, at London’s swanky Dorchester Hotel. This is the life, eh, stood in an expensive hotel looking at actors, like Barry Sonnenfeld, Alice Eve, Will Smith, Emma Thompson and Josh Brolin, mugging it up for the cameras. The best bit was elsewhere, when Will Smith went to the Ethos Sports Centre in Imperial College, London, and auditioned for the part of an effete Eric Morecambe in the forthcoming biopic of the comic’s life. Morecambe would have wanted Smith to play him in film. And, in any case, John Travolta is busy…
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Tom Wilson’s Back To The Future business cards explain it all
TOM Wilson. Who he? Film buffs will know that Tom Wilson played Biff in the Back To The Future trilogy. (He also does comedy and voices on Sponge Bob Squarepants.) His business cards are legend. On them is an explanation of The Back to The Future plot. Other actors might try the move, perhaps distilling plot lines into as few words as possible: Twilight (“Very old man hangs bout with schoolgirl”); Star Wars (“Cowboys and Indians in space”); and many more…
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What’s the biggest rip-off concert you’ve ever been to?
WHAT’S the worst concert you’ve ever been to – the biggest rip-off? We’ll get to R. Kelly and his turning the fans into a dairy herd soon enough. First, a personal story. Anorak once went to see Desmond Decker at the Sir George Robey in Finsbury Park, London. The place was packed with Trojan Skins, Two Tone fans and a few less enlightened hooligans. After almost two hours of waiting for Desmond Decker to appear, the singer shambled out before a now very tanked-up crowd. He sang about half a song badly and then wobbled all over the shop. The highlight of the evening was a friend of mine, who by now so utterly plastered he was almost unable to stand, vomiting onto the stage, a fleck of his chunder hitting Decker on the leg. Decker just swayed on. And then he shuffled off. And that was it.
Marc Campbell tells the story of another short and memorable gig in Austin, Texas, where R. Kelly performed for 75 seconds. Fans paid up to $950 to see the singer perform what amounts to a long yawn.
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Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Kristen Stewart finally confirms Robert Pattinson as boyfriend, not that anyone cares anymore
DESPITE being the single most boring couple in the entirety of absolutely everything, the world has taken a peculiar interest in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and whether or not they’re sharing bodily fluids. Of course, they’re not because even basic bodily functions are too bored by this pair to function properly.
Yet, somehow, like two shadows fading in the twilight (see what we did there?), they’ve given in and decided to let the world know that they’re actually courting, as your nana used to say. After years of being pointlessly coy, K.Stew has ‘fessed up.
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Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
How to play a vinyl record like a boss
KIDS today have no idea how to play a vinyl LP.
Spotter: biotv
Queen to continue elaborate gravedigging of Freddie Mercury with hologram japes
POOR old Queen. They’ve been at a loss since Freddie Mercury – the only one in the group with a modicum of talent or charisma – went and selfishly died, leaving the group to team up with berks like Ben Elton and Dappy from N-Dubz.
Since Freddie shrugged off his mortal coil, Brian May has decided to trade himself as a Diet Slash, appearing anywhere that needs a guitar solo, as well as being chief clog wearer and star-gazer because… well… he can’t offer the world anything else, other than looking exactly like Anita Dobson. Roger Taylor meanwhile is a drummer and, apart from Phil Collins and Don Henley, drummers don’t ever have a career beyond drumming.
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Mark Ronson had sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s as a child, which starts to explain a few things…
WITHOUT doubt, you will have looked at Mark Ronson’s face at some point and tried to climb through your TV screen or magazine page in an attempt to kick it clean off his head. He’s the most annoying human ever. Ever. Ever, ever, evereververver.
He’s got so much smug that he’s had to buy a second home for it. And that second home is the size of the Death Star. Ronson is so satisfied with himself, it is obvious that he can only reach sexual climax while looking at photographs of himself, while listening to his own music and recounting a list of all the celebrities he thinks he can call ‘friend’ in his mind.
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Posted: 14th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre’s Bad Boyfriend Club – it’s good to cry, guys
SENTIMENTAL singer and Katie Price’s former second-favourite twat Peter Andre is taking his brand of puppy-dog love to ITV2 for a show called Peter Andre’s Bad Boyfriend Club. Do you want to be on the show? Here’s the appeal:
“ITV2 are looking for boyfriends that need to raise their game. It’s time the boys stopped taking their girlfriends for granted and if your relationship is suffering, Pete is ready and waiting to help!”
Peter will teach you useless boyfriends that you can buy your own Touche Eclat without pretending it’s a gift for her indoors, and not feel any pressure to rent action films to fit into a pre-conceived stereotype. RomComs are fine. Loving Pudsey dog is fine. You don’t need a girlfriend to as act as a foil for your emotions. C’mon guys. Group huggle…
Image: @spiderclub
Posted: 13th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Hoffman, Kunis and Walsh star in Celebrity Savers
TV executives looking for the next big strand – a dog named Pudsey has just won Britain’s Got Talent, a sign that Simon Cowell’s dumb animal circuses have reached their goal – could consider Celebrity Savers, a TV show in which stars rescue ‘ordinary’ members of the public from a disaster. (Celebrity charity gigs and quiz shows are old hat. Direct action is required, and stopping short of getting Olly Murs to conduct open heart surgery on a child, heroism is the way to go.)
The ‘process’ in already well advanced. This week we’ve seen ‘Marathon Man’ Dustin Hoffman save the life of a jogger named Sam Dempster, who suffered a cardiac arrest while out jogging in London’s Hyde Park. Hoffman was billed as a hero in the press for dialling 999.
Paramedic Martin Macarthur and Luke Sullivan raced to the scene. They used a defibrillator on Mr Dempster. It could be argued that it was these trained medic who saved the jogger’s life. But the joy of spotting a star cannot be understated, and Mr Sullivan seems keen to appear on Celebrity Savers, telling media:
“He was the calmest person I have ever seen in that situation. He had witnessed someone collapse and crash into the tarmac, he witnessed us doing CPR and defibrillating, and witnessed him waking up. He said to us ‘good job guys’ and calmly walked away.”
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Posted: 13th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The Houston Family Chronicles: televising Whitney Houston’s legacy enema
HOW can Whitney Houston keep on entertaining us with new material now she’s gone? Well, news is that the singer’s brother, Gary Houston, his wife, Pat Houston, Whitney’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, and mother, Cissy will all star in a fly-in-the-drugs cabinet reality TV show called The Houston Family Chronicles. The ten-show series will run on Lifetime. Says the broadcaster’s Rob Sharenow:
“The tragic loss of Whitney Houston left a void in the hearts of people all over the world, but certainly none more so than her beloved family. In this series, the multi-generations of the Houston family will bravely reveal their lives as they bond together to heal, love, and grow.”The Houston Family Chronicles
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Posted: 12th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Battleship premier photos: Rihanna and the bored games
WE went to see Rihanna at the American premiere of the film Battleship in Los Angeles. Battleship is a really expensive B-movie based on the boardgame. The story is that aliens have crashed into / invaded Earth and have decided to attack Hawaii, where only the American Pacific fleet, Lieutenant Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) and petty officer Rihanna’s monosyllabic interjections can stop the world from being overrun. One word: noisy.
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Rihanna unfollows Chris Brown… not because he slapped her about, but because of a song
CHRIS BROWN may be the most jarring goon in the world, but Rihanna still stuck by him. Even though he knocked ten shades of shit out of her, she thought she’d hang out with him, lift a restraining order and record a couple of duets with him. Everyone spat feathers and no answers were forthcoming.
It looked for all the world like they were going to get back together and many started to grind their teeth with vexation. However, there’s a development! It seems RiRi has finally had enough of Breezy and his adoring simpletons! So what has he done this time? Well, she’s unfollowed him on twitter (the worst thing anyone could ever do to another human, clearly) after she heard his latest song.
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Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Engelbert Humperdinck is big in Azerbaijan
BEFORE he croons the UK to victory in the Eurovision Song Contest, Engelbert Humperdinck shows the Daily Mirror’s man round his Leicestershire estate. The singer says he wanted his estate to have a British village feel, so he gave it a pub, two, er, Harley Davidson motorbikes and a street called “HUMPERDINK WAY”, written in a Rodeo Driver-style script.
He says:
“These are presents from my wife at Christmas 12 or 15 years ago. She normally gets me something that I really want and I wanted to keep this place really British so she started with a postbox and then the telephone box.”
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Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lost star gets charged with DUI… and it isn’t his first brush with boozy bother
YOU may have watched Lost or Party Of Five, looked at Matthew Fox and thought ‘he seems like a nice man… a nice, hunky, stubbly dreamboat of a man’. Well, there’s a strong whiff of booze around him which suggests otherwise.
See, it has been reported that Fox has been charged with two misdemeanours, one of driving under the influence (DUI) and the second, driving without a licence. He got arrested and everything! He was pulled in by the long arm of the law in the early hours of last Friday after an officer noticed his vehicle wasn’t signalling properly… or staying in lane with traffic… and generally being vehicularly erratic. Turned out he’d been drinking.
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Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chenille Steele pays tribute to Simon Cowell
CHENILLE Steel returns to pay tribute to Simon Cowell. She’s moved on from footballers. This is NSFW:
Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sacha Baron Cohen’s Dictator shoots Al Fayed in the face – photos
TO the premier of The Dictator, Sacha Baron Cohen’s new flick based on the life and daydream of the late Colonel Gaddafi. For reasons that need little explaining, Baron Cohen shared the red carpet with Mohamed Al-Fayed, the owner of fuggin’ Fulham FC who bought a larger-than-life statue of Michael Jackson (7ft 6ins) and stuck it by the club’s Craven Cottage ground. Why? Why the fug not? Ask yourself what a Fulham fan might have expected of that new statue made to accompany the existing effigy of club legend Johnny Haynes. Perhaps a statue of a famous Fulham fan, like Terry McCann from Minder, Wolfie ‘Citizen’ Smith or Ray Brooks (the voice of Mr Ben). Instead the fans got Michael Jackson, who saw Fulham play Wigan in 1997. Fayed gave The Cottagers the figure of man who spoke in a girly voice and seems to have been as much into football as he was into plate tectonics. The question must be why would Baron Cohen would not take Al-Fayed to The Dictator premier and then pretend to shoot him in the head with golden pistol?
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Dark Shadow Premier in photos – Carry On Trio order the usual
THE London Premier of Dark Shadows saw Johnny Depp, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter rocks up to Empire Leicester Square, London. The trio are the closest thing Hollywood has to a Carry On crew. You know exactly what their film is going to be like, what kind of performances the players will put in and what kind of story Burton will evoke with his set and styling. The film ticks boxes. This is not say it isn’t any good. It is. It’s just not that good. It’s like a glass of iced fizzy coke that’s been sat a little too long on the counter so that while you get the familiar flavours and bursts of the good stuff you also get flatness that fails to hit the spot. Still, Depp and Bonham Carter are engaging, charismatic and above all shaggable. The Carry On Trio fans will love it…
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Britney Spears gets $15m X Factor deal, but she still isn’t allowed a cash card
SIMON COWELL loves ’em mental. Look at the women he’s surrounded himself with. Paula ‘mental’ Abdul. Cheryl ‘toilet attendant’ Cole. Nicole ‘the only woman who could possibly find Lewis Hamilton even vaguely sexual’ Scherzinger. Amanda ‘willingly had sex with Neil Morrissey’ Holden. And Sinitta. Everything about Sinitta screams insanity.
And now, Cowell has bagged himself Queen Nutter, Britney Spears. She’s apparently going to be on The X Factor USA and she’ll be getting $15 million in the bargain.
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Posted: 10th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
