Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Tulisa Contostavlos and the big vibrating Rabbit lie
TULISA Contostavlos is the world’s sexiest woman according to readers of FHM magazine, who may have voted before Samantha Brick appeared on the radar. Over the course of this year, Tulisa has been the subject of frenzied rumours and details about her sex life, culminating in a leaked sex tape. With her name high on the news cycle, Tulisa is voted in as the world’s top fantasy shag. It’s a PR masterclass.
Happy with the result, Tulisa then speaks with FHM about being caught with buzzing vibrator at the airport, and then tweeting about it. What are the odds, eh?
“Let’s clear it up… I own a Rabbit. Same as probably 50 per cent of the country. I’m human, and yes I own a Rabbit. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s better than me tweeting about going off and seeing guys. At least you know that I know how to keep myself entertained, so I don’t need any man to do it for me!
“It’s hilarious the way people are like, ‘Oh my God, she has a Rabbit, oh my God, she’s such a slut.’ Well, not really, because if I have a Rabbit, it means that I’m using the Rabbit, rather than going out and seeing guys. So realistically, it kind of makes me, to a certain extent, more respectable!”
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Posted: 2nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Danny From The Voice turned down Cameron Diaz’s sexual advances
DESPITE the fact he’s got so much hair and so little face, thereby making him look like a beefeater peering out of a grizzly bear’s arse, Danny O’Donoghue from The Voice has a huge number of female admirers. Scientists believe that 89% of these cooers probably said “Oooh, I love the Irish accent!” Presumably they weren’t think of Gerry Adams when they said that.
Either way, the singer who no-one is quite sure what he’s done, has also had famous admirers. Like who? Well, if you’d read the headline, you’ll know we’re talking about Cameron Diaz.
Apparently, while Danny was doing whatever it is he does in America, Diaz tried to chat him up and get him to go on a date. That’s because he’s got a girlfriend.
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Posted: 2nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jessica Simpson introduces Maxwell Drew Johnson – photos
JESSICA Simpson now has a little Maxwell Drew Johnson drinking her sexual napalm and being measured for his first veneers. Simpson tells the world:
“Eric [Johnson] and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby Maxwell Drew Johnson 9 lbs. 13 oz. 21 3/4. We are so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives!”
The next greatest experience of our lives will be seeing baby Maxwell Drew Johnson in showbiz mags as mum bangs on about her miracle birth and looming miracle weight loss.
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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Bobby Brown didn’t kill Whitney Houston, okay?
WHEN Whitney Houston died, everyone looked straight at Bobby Brown and start muttering about how this was all his stupid fault, like he was the guy forcibly sticking huge amounts of drugs up her arse or something. Well, Bobby can’t go for that and would like to have his say.
“I’m not the one that got Whitney on drugs, at all,” Brown said in an interview to be aired this week on the Today show on U.S. television network NBC. “I’m not the reason she’s gone.”
Houston was of course found dead in a Beverly Hills hotel bathtub in February from accidental drowning brought on by cocaine use and heart disease. Authorities noted that white powder and drug paraphernalia were found in the bathroom where she died. You’ll note Bobby Brown wasn’t found under the toilet seat.
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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Paris Hilton met Siouxsie Sioux
FLASHBACK to 2004, when Paris Hilton (who she?) got into Siouxsie Sioux’s airspace. Should you see Paris on the phone (and it;s her ubiquitous prop), feel free to quote Sioux:
“Turn off that f*cking self-phone, you spoiled rotten little brat! This is not about you!!!! Who invited this stupid cow anyways?!?”
Spotter: WoW
Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Kim Kardashian to have Kanye West’s baby
KIM Kardashian is having a baby with Kanye West. One day Kim K. will bend over by a swimming pool surrounded by photographers and gift birth to a Kaybe. The source of this information is the National Enquirer, which more than most have been gazing at Kim’s polished crystal buttock balls and seeing what the future holds for her. This week the NE sees a”baby with Kanye”.
We know this because Kim has been “telling pals” that she ants to be a mum. Why she can’t tell us directly is unclean. Perhaps she; doesn’t trust us or want to jinx her womb. But the mating ritual has begun. Having been promised a Kayby, we demand a Kaybe is delivered to schedule, ideally as the denouement to a season of Kan Kanye Up Keep Up With Kim Kardashian? With planning, Kanye can coincide the birth to bring out new range of trainers called Koo-Koo.
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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Peel: The Space salutes the tastes of a man in cut-off denim shorts
JOHN Peel, the deceased BBC Radio 1 DJ, had a massive collection of 25,000 vinyl records. The John Peel Centre, in Stowmarket, has created The Space, a project that aims to recreate Peel’s studio and archive. The centre is releasing the names of those deemed good enough to have made it into the collection 100 at a time.
The idea is that Peel had great taste and will bring new music to the masses – songs like Mike Absalom’s Save The Last Gherkin For Me (1968).
If you like John Peel, you will look at the collection. If you don’t like John Peel or know who he was, you may need more persuading to follow the tastes of man who sported a beard and cut off denim shorts…
Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Selena Gomez – her new perfume can ‘appease’ a Scottish tramp
SELENA Gomez, Justin Bieber’s erstwhile lover, has completed a rite of the celebrity passage. She scraped her sheets and bottled her smell. The perfume is called “Selena Gomez”, and if the advert is anything to by, it’s the colour of meths and Gomez wants you to bathe in it. If the price is right this drink could do down a storm in Dundee.
Says Selena:
“I describe it as yummy.”
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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole models the Gareth Williams murder – photo
IS murder ever fashionable? Gareth Williams was found dead zipped up in a read sports bag. Cheryl Cole, the charmless autotuned voice of WAGs and enemy of toilet attendants, poses for GQ in a red top she seems to have trouble zipping up. Is this how it is now, celebrities adopting any story for themselves? Will we see Cheryl in a pair of towering 9/11 heels, a Titanic pelmet or a Saddam Hussein rope of diamonds..?
More photos of demure Cheryl here.
Image via
Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Famous women with beards – the photos
FAMOUS women with beards. Because one day this will be fashionable:
Featuring: Sarah Silverman Shakira, Kate Beckinsale, Tina O’Brien, Sasha Alexander, Lady Philippa Middleton, Sarah Dunn, Juliette Binoche, Penelope Cruz, Margarita Levieva, Mila Kunis,Michelle Rodriguez, Minka Kelly, Thandie Newton, Alicia Keys, Ashley Tisdale, Joss Stone, Amanda Peet, Ali Landry, Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, Denise Richards, Nicole Scherzinger, Princess Beatrice, Alicia Silverstone, Angelina Jolie, Katy Perry, Emma Stone.
Spotter:Freakingnews
Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Harry Styles presents the best showbiz haircuts ever
HARRY Styles is getting a haircut. One day on from our story that he was sporting a Donald Trump hair tsunami, the One Direction blade has tweeted a photo himself in a Cheshire salon. The world waits to see what hair-do Styles will emerge with.
The quest for a signature mop is one of the keenest in showbiz. It is all about the hair. Many try to crack the look but only a few make a style their own. Those entertainers known for a haircut are:
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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price and Leandro Penna – the accidental wedding ring cycle
THAT sound you hear is the popping of champagne corks in the offices of Katie Price’s divorce lawyers. Jordan is getting married! She’s engaged to Leandro Penna. It will be great marriage. It will be last for years and years and create a legend.
But we need to ask: is she sure? We recall that Katie and Leandro don’t speak the same language. Granted, Jawdin doesn’t speak the same language as most of us, but with Leandro the barrier is more acute.
As Leandro once told us (photos of him here):
“The connection we have is so intense. Like sometimes I’ll be sitting and moving my head from side to side and she will know I’m…”
Listening to Stevie Wonder?
“…looking for the remote control.”
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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Harry Styles uses Donald Trump’s hairdresser
HAS Harry Styles (right), swordsman with One Direction, been using Donald Trump’s hairdresser (left)? And does he have to pay a licence fee..?
Spotter: TheFrogMan
Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole likes sex and Prince Harry – but both at the same time?
CHERYL COLE was once the people’s princess (whatever that means) but, since America broke her (instead of Cheryl breaking America), she’s dropped off the radar, save for a few column inches and cosmetic beauty commercials. And so, it appears is it time to get her career back on track, which means reminding everyone that they need to think about her in a sexual manner.
Since she split with Ashley Cole, she’s cut something of a British Jennifer Aniston character, portrayed as lonely and crying all the time. With alarming predictability, she’s popped along and decided to tell the rags that: “I am a woman and I like sex.” Talking to GQ magazine, she said: “I’d love kids. I’m obsessed with babies. I know that is what I was put on Earth to do – to be a mother.”
Meanwhile, the entire universe wonders if there’s any truth in the rumour that she’s a lesbian, especially on the back of Louis Walsh saying that he was going to tell all about Cheryl in his book. Well done if you yelled ‘that’s a bit rich!’ in your mind there.
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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Mel Gibson handed BA Hons in Stating The Insultingly Obvious as he confesses to having a bit of a temper
HOLLYWOOD’S prime mentalist shaker, Mel Gibson, has had a busy private life. He’s spat out anti-Semitic insults (allegedly), threatened to kill his ex (allegedly), swore and moaned like a cow in labour at a party concerning work matters (allegedly), wished a raping on his ex (again) from a ‘pack of N-bombs’ (allegedly), worn a beaver on his arm (actually) and generally gone so terrifically insane that he’s now officially stranger than fiction.
With all this in mind, Mel Gibson talked to Jay Leno about his ongoing feud with screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. During this televised chat, he noted: “Maybe you don’t know this about me, but I’ve got a little bit of a temper.”
Gibbo, dead in the eyes and constantly bristling with fury, said he is still upset his former friend recorded him losing his temper during a vacation at the star’s holiday home in Costa Rica. The release of the audio came just a week after Eszterhas appeared on TV news shows reprimanding Gibson for his behavior in front of his child. Oh, and before that, the screenwriter blasted Gibson in a nine-page letter which accused him of being an anti-Semite.
Nice.
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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Coco Austin – season’s end
COCO Austin, Anorak’s woman of the Year 2011 and Ice T-‘s wife, has waved adieu to Ice loves Coco, the fly in the thong TV show on the E! channel. She harks back to her “shameless promotion” in which Coco showed us her bounteous buttocks and commanded that we watch her in motion. Granted, Coco is airbrushed and surgically enhanced on the bosom, but that’s just simple physics: it’s all about striking a balance to remain upright. Compare that to this hideous pursuit of thinness and ban on fat. More Coco is required in these times of austerity. Its the like the 1950s never went away…
Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Star Wars photos: George Lucas and his robots
THE Film Anorak goes back to look at Star Wars’ creator George Lucas and his robots.
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Awkward photo of the day : KKK at the Keisha gig
AWKWARD photo of the day – KKK at the Ke$ha / Keisha gig…
Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alex Reid cancels Chantelle Houghton’s wedding plan
CHANTELLE Houghton, the pregnant woman made from Katie Price’s off-cuts who read Jade Goody’s How to be Thick and Loveable but missed the section of charm, will not be married to future Prime Minister Alex Reid. The Sun On Sunday says so. Reid tells a pal who tells the tabloid:
“I’ve told Chantelle I’m not marrying her when things are like this. Friends keep pushing her to say things about us that aren’t true and keep poking their noses into our lives no matter how much it hurts me.”
Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cleavage wars: the stars pop out at the British Soap Awards (photos)
THE British Soap Awards 2012 showed that without a script the actors can always fall back on their cleavages to reflect the dignity and value of this worthy event. Special wards got to: Brooke Vincent, Preeya Kalidas and Chelsea Halfpenny. There are 15 categories – at least two of which are chosen by viewers’ hormones:
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The Winners:
Posted: 28th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Wanted call Christina Aguilera ‘a bitch’ – no sign she knows what they are
HOW can The Wanted crack America? Well, they can find an enemy and cultivate a showbiz row. Following a meeting with Christina Aguilera on The Voice USA, Max George (the little one with the shaved head) told 92.3 NOW FM: ”
“She was a bit scary to be honest.”
George has the look of a man-child who might find Dr Who and being alone in the bath a bit scary.
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Posted: 28th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Octomum’s potty home of squalor – photos of a PR stunt
NADYA Suleman, aka Octomum – she of the clown car-sized womb – is keeping her 14 children in “squalor”. So says TMZ.
Police have popped into Suleman’s home in La Habra, California, in response to the sensation triggered by her hairstylist Stephanie, who thought the house revolting and lodged a complaint. She took photos and gave them to…TMZ, that international agency of law and righteousness that says all gypsies are thieves. One of Stephanie’s laments is that the 3-year-old octuplets were peeing and pooping in potties in the garden because the plumbing was knackered.
Stephanie says that while she was crimping and cutting Octomum’s hair on April 18 – a Brazilian blowout and haircut – the children were shut inside a bedroom, kept in by a chair wedged under a doorknob.
But Child Protective Services and the police says the children are in no immediate danger. Indeed. The chidlren are not crapping on the sofas; they are going in the potty. Mum is protecting the kids from hot irons and driers. You see what you want to see.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Manx Pratt Jeremy Clarkson loses human rights claim to Isle of Man path
IT’S just gotten that little bit easier to see Jeremy Clarkson shagging. Clarkson’s wife, Mrs Frances Clarkson was of the opinion that a public footpath close to their Ieel of Man home was breach of their human rights. Their property resembles a lighthouse.
But Deemster David Doyle preferred to protect the “rights and freedoms” of the great unwashed. The path stays open to the public.
The BBC reports:
Mrs Clarkson said the couple would not be making any comment about the decision.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Justin Bieber lands in London for a groping – Photos
JUSTIN Bieber trod on British soil today as he landed at Terminal 5 of Heathrow Airport ahead of his album launch. Fans groped his silky hair. They wept. We stood back and wondered why he was sponsored by NEFF, the makers of ovens and other kitchen appliances. Is nowhere safe..?
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Donald Trump champions static energy: Edinburgh students create the world’s greatest ever photo
THERE are many reasons why Donald Trump is opposed to wind farms. Many. One reason is that wind farms will be visible from Trump’s planned £750 million golf resort in Aberdeenshire. Trump says the man he calls “Mad Alex” Salmond told him over a New York dinner that wind farms would not be visible from his golf course. Scotland’s First Minister calls that “completely untrue”. Other reasons why Donald Trump is not keen on wind, can be seen here and in this photo. A student at Edinburgh University shows the world that when it comes to renewable energy, static beats wind. (This might be the world’s greatest ever photo.)
Spotter: @fultybhoy4,@Aiannucci
Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
