Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Look at Taylor Swift’s boobs and decide if they’ve magically grown
HAVE you seen Taylor Swift lately? Did you look at her chest? Of course you didn’t. She’s so interminably beige that you probably forgot you were looking at a human at all. Still, rumours abound about her boobs. If she’s creatively and noticeably unnoticeable, she may have done something which is making her stand-out a little more than usual.
SHE MAY HAVE HAD A BOOB JOB.
Mutterings from those concerning themselves with the anatomy of Taylor Swift, including ‘experts’, have decided that she’s gone from “a small A to a striking C”. Note the language there. Not a ‘lovely A to an equally lovely C’. One is undernourished, the other, resplendent. Either way, HollywoodLife are doing somersaults over Swift’s bits, stirring the pot by comparing two photographs of the singer and getting three pros to give their opinion.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Happy birthday Sheena Easton, always our Sheila Orr
IT’S Sheena Easton’s birthday, or to those of you who went to school with her, it’s Sheena Shirley Orr’s birthday. Indeed, if you did know Sheena Easton before she made it big on Esther Rantzen’s The Big Time on the telly, do go up to her next time she’s in Bellshill and says “Aren’t you, Sheena Orr?” Always greet people by their pre-fame names. It makes them think they know you…
How old is Sheena Easton?
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Halle Berry and Nahla are stalked by the Daily Mail
HOW the media works, with Halle Berry:
“There are people who don’t mind their children being in magazines. But I feel that if we make the decision for our family and children that it’s not okay, I should have my wishes as a mom heard.” – Halle Berry, Hello, April 25, 201
“Carry on regardless! Gabriel Aubry forgets all about custody woes as he spends a day snuggling his daughter Nahla – April 25, 2012, Daily Mail
“Hold on tight! Halle Berry lovingly carries a tired Nahla on a sunny walk in LA” – April 23, 2012, Daily Mail
“Beach beauties: Halle Berry and daughter Nahla enjoy afternoon in Malibu with Oliver Martinez” – April 22, 2012, Daily Mail
“Like mother, like daughter: Now Halle Berry and her little girl Nahla have matching curly hair” – April 21, 2012, Daily Mail
“Gabriel Aubry looks delighted as he spends time with daughter Nahla amid bitter custody battle” – April 11, 2012, Daily Mail
“Life’s a beach! Olivier Martinez bonds with Halle Berry’s daughter Nahla on a day out in Malibu” – April 8, 2012, Daily Mail
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Alex Reid became an Parliamentary expert – like Elmo and Russell Brand
POLITICIANS are in it to meet stars, aren’t they. Gordon Brown and Tony Blair were starfuckers; David Cameron can’t speak without making reference to a TV advert (“Calm down dear”) or a TV show – at PMQs he extolled the country’s enterprise spirit with the phrase “The Only Way Is Essex”; oleaginous Keith Vaz can’t talk about drugs without a celeb on his shoulder, looking like a provincial chip-shop owner posing for his toilet gallery with celebrity diners Mitch Winehouse and guffawing Russell Brand; and no jobbing MP can talk about food without Jamie Oliver and now Alex Reid, the naked walking Toffee Crisp who once married Katie Price and wore a gold mankini to flog her books.
Alex Reid has now met with MPs at the Commons three times.
September 6, 2011: Reid meets MP Daniel Poulter to launch the Better Breakfast campaign.
February 8, 2012: Reid meets MP Sharon Hodgson, Shadow Minister for Children and Families, and MP Roberta Blackman-Woods, Shadow Minister for Planning at the House of Commons. (Pictured)
April 26, 2012: Reid heads to Parliament to meet Shadow Education Minister Sharon Hodgson to talk about Let’s Do Lunch, an eating campaign.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Rupert Murdoch was Simon Cowell’s paper boy – true story
SIMON Cowell went along to the launch party for Sweet Revenge, Tom Bower’s “unofficial” biography of the TV mogul’s life. Before we go on to analyse this for pages and apges and apges. A few more words from that book:
We lay our scene in January 2010, in the waters surrounding the Tobago Cays, five tiny uninhabited islands in the Grenadines. Here, “a gaggle of billionaires’ yachts” are anchored. There is David Geffen on Rising Sun, the world’s biggest yacht. (Cowell is “depressed” by its size compared with his, Slipstream.) Then there’s that nice Philip Green on Lionheart, while erstwhile M&S boss Stuart Rose is staying with Matthew Freud and Elisabeth Murdoch on their yacht. Next to them is Angle Share, James Murdoch’s boat, and nearby is the floating holiday home of Carphone Warehouse boss Charlie Dunstone. Right in the middle is a craft whose precious cargo is Rupert Murdoch.
Somalian pirates must be salivating.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Do these Kaley Cuoco bikini photos feature Amy Winehouse?
MOST eyes on Kaley Cuoco, actress and star of the Big Bang Theory on the TV. She’s been on holiday to the Carribean island of Anguilla. Nice. She’s taken photos of her good self in her bikini and posted them on twitter. Thoughtful. You can see them below. But what we want to know is the identity of the woman to her side. Is it..? Can it be..? Is Amy Winehouse alive? Let the conspiracy begins (and get her a duet with Tupak Shakur.)
Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Harry Styles and One Direction In STD scare
HEADLINE of The Week was, of course, “One Direction in chlamydia scare after handling koalas Down Under”. News was that a chlamydia-infected koala had joined Harry Styles and the gang for a photo op. The young swordsman offered:
“I’d have never picked the thing up if I’d known.”
But where do you pick up a koala? Are there secret bars for the showbiz elite..?
Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Molly Ringwald drinks Kirsten Stewart’s blood
CELEBRITY Quote of The Day: Molly Ringwald responds to the question: “How did you manage to get hotter with age?!”
MR: “I drink the blood of Kristen Stewart.”
Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alex Reid stands for Parliament, Question Time and your lunchbox
ALEX Reid, the walking Toffee Crisp once married to Katie Price, wants to be an MP. Says Reid in the Sun:
“It would be lovely to be an MP. I believe I can use my power as a celebrity to influence young people to help them be the people they want to be and to have a better Britain.”
He then says he would be good PM because he can talk sense without the jargon. Reid is right now dating his pregnant lover Chantelle Houghton, a grown woman who told us:
“Alex was laughing at me earlier, because I thought the Sun and the Moon were the same thing. Turns out they’re not!”
Every nocturnal creature knows the difference between the sun and moon, so too kelp.
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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Smiths to reform aka Morrissey’s mortgage payments must be getting tight
THERE is a rumour that never goes out. That’s right, it is that time again to talk about the reforming of The Smiths. Apparently, the furiously overrated band are going to put aside their differences and return to the stage this Autumn. If The Stone Roses can do it, then why can’t Morrissey & Co?
Looking at the hatchet buried by Ian Brown and John Squire, it appears that everyone is willing Morrissey and Marr to do the same, and apparently, they’ve found ‘common ground’ with each other. Or, as everyone else calls it, ‘money’.
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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Music | Comments (15)
Kate Middleton at the African Cats Premiere – Photos
AROUND one year ago, commoner Kate Middleton (“OK ya!”) married royal Prince William (“Yeah, dude, sure thing”) in a massive display of pomp and wealth sat neatly on Pippa Middleton’s taught buttocks. For their anniversary Prince Charles is being urged to give William the throne. That for later. Last night the Duchess of Cambridge, for it is he, was at the the premier of the film African Cats. It’s a film about African cats, the sort of things William’s ancestors used to murder for fun…
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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Film, Royal Family | Comment
Georgia Salpa: my weeks of mayhem
OK! continues for another week its quest to make Georgia Salpa look interesting. Having been sat by Peter Andre – OK!’s mannequin of love – for a photoshoot more sterile than Anthea Turner’s kitchen floor, Georgina tells us about a “scary night out”:
“Yeah, I was a Blackberry Party…Then suddenly a stabbing happened…We left ten minutes before it…”
More from La Salpa soon., who, by the way, also says he is not a “tits out kind of girl”…
Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kim Kardashian holds hands with Kanye West for publicity
WHEN Kim Kardashian dumped Kris Humphries after 72 days of marriage, everyone howled that she was taking the sanctity of marriage and stuffing it down a promotion hole. It was cold, calculated and manipulative on a level that was so starkly bare, that the collective we couldn’t quite believe it.
However, Kim K denied it all, shrugging it all off as ‘one of those things’. It didn’t work out. It was true-love but maybe they rushed into things. She’d learned her lesson.
That is, until she courted our interest in boring amour with Kanye West. They’re helping the rumour that they’re dating each other along very nicely and reaping all that lovely publicity that comes with it. They’ve been spotted out and about together, acting like a couple and, most crucially, they’ve been seen holding hands… which as you know, is a euphemism for having filthy sex with each other.
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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The government are spying on Susan Sarandon
SPIES! They’re everywhere! Sometimes, they’re found rotting in a holdall in their house, just waiting for someone to make a really exciting film about them! However, some spies are invariably pretty boring, sat at their desk, listening in and compiling really rather dull dossiers.
And that’s what’s happening with Susan Sarandon and Michael Moore ALLEGEDLY. Please don’t ship us all off to Guantanamo please Uncle Sam. We love your rock ‘n’ roll and junk food! Honestly we do.
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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Russell Brand shows us that drugs can do you good
WHO beter than Russell Brand to address the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee at Portcullis House, Westminster, on drugs policy? Well, no-one. He’s as good as anyone. He’s as good as the myriad voices who have sat in meetings, doctors surgeries and the dock to talk about drugs.
The difference is that Brand is a celeb. Drugs have given him anecdotes for his books and stage shows. They appear to have down him no harm. They may even have added to his popularity and allure. He’s fronting a documentary of the nature of addiction.
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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Harvey Price gets scalped like a French collaborator
HARVEY Price has had a haircut. And because he’s Katie Price’s son, his haircut is your haircut. Katie-Price-Jordan-Andre-Pricey-Reid-Mick-Titch-Beaky has posted a photo of it on twitter.
Is this what Harvey gets for bringing Katie good luck – a hair don’t?
Time he went it alone.
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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Former glamour model says she had sex with Simon Cowell 11 times in one night, which she didn’t?
THERE is a huge “unofficial” media story that makes Simon Cowell look like a veritable stud at the minute, which of course, sends alarm bells ringing with anyone who has thought about the way media companies present the news for more than 5 seconds.
Ostensibly, this all reeks of The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, especially on the back of the story that former glamour model Alicia Douvall is claiming that she slept with Simon Cowell 11 times in one night. ELEVEN TIMES? That’s enough to set your average wang on fire. His ballhair, in this instance, would surely only act as stinky kindling?
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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Made In Chelsea star’s ‘cocaine’ shame
THE Sun says Made In Chelsea star Spencer Matthews has been “photographed sniffing cocaine in front of stunned fans”.
Matthews was “snapped by a disgusted reveller” at a party in Bath, Somerset.
How we know it’s cocaine is a point not addressed in the Sun (see Kate Moss sherbet dip-dab shocker). But what the paper does tell us is:
Fame-hungry Spencer, 23, even used his family’s vast wealth to buy up the photos in a bid to bury the potentially damaging story after copies were shared among pals.
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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tim Lovejoy tweets his ballbag to the world by accident through Twitter
CHANCES are, you have witnessed the horror that is Tim Lovejoy, gurning his way through Something For The Weekend and Sunday Brunch. He’s tested the patience of Simon Rimmer and every woman he’s ever spoken over… and frankly, ruined your perfectly good hangover.
Well, prepare to throw up into your own hand as it slowly dawns on you that the picture of the gentleman you can see standing proudly in his briefs is that very same vapid television botherer, Mr Lovejoy.
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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Unseen Beatles photos up for sale – the Olympics Years
WANT to buy some unseen photos of The Beatles? One photo is of an in-flight meal for the Fab Four’s trip to The Bahamas for filming of ‘HELP!’ next their autographs. The menus, one of which has the bands name misspelled, are set to be auctioned next month at Omega Auctions in Stockport. Other photos were aken as the group filmed A Hard Day’s Night in March 1964 at the Scala Theatre in London. Sadly, the photos of John Lennon eating curds and whey in a 1954 production of rhymes are missing. Also missing are pictures of the Fab Four in their 4×400 metres trials for Team GB at the 1968 Olympics, a happening to be celebrated at the London Games of 2012, in which four randomly selected Liverpudlians will be invited to spend day in London for a live televised debate about which of them is more closely related to Ringo Starr…
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Rihanna: going to die like Whitney Houston?
RIHANNA has been a gigantic pain in the posterior lately, flaunting herself to the point of apathy. We’ve had vague allusions to drug use, side-boob, bikini shots and of course, all that despairing hook-ups with Chris Brown – the man who tried to smack the skin off her head.
All this wild-child nonsense isn’t new, but Rihanna is covering every aspect of media so thoroughly that when the world blinks, at least ten images of her are burned into the collective retina so we can’t even escape her when we wearily screw our eyes up.
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Posted: 23rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Justin Bieber uses rape and Borat to taunt ‘baby-momma’ Mariah Yeeter
PERHAPS it shouldn’t be surprising that Justin Bieber is acting like a giant baby lately, what with him being a professional gyrating toddler. However, that’s exactly what he’s doing, shouting ‘NYAH NYAH N’NYAH NYAAAAH!‘ at Mariah Yeater from his twitter account.
Now, if you don’t remember who Yeater is, she’s the girl who claims to have had sex with JB after one of his shows, which of course, resulted in a baby.
And so, probably drunk off Skittles, Bieber randomly decided to throw some abuse her way and not one of his ‘people’ decided to advise him otherwise.
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Posted: 23rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
The Kitten Covers (2)
TUMBLR Site of the Day: more from The Kitten Covers is a great collection of kittens in the mode of classic pop and rocks album covers: Blondie, Leonard Cohen, Saturday Night Fever, Beastie Boys, Dr Dre, Peter Tosh, The Doors, Grace Jones, Dolly Parton and Marvin Gaye… First Part is here.
Cher and Chaz Bono rock the GLAAD Awards – photos
TO the 23rd Annual GLAAD Media Awards to see Cher get with her transgender child Chaz Bono. Cher gave her son GLAAD’s Stephen F. Kolzak Award for the documentary Becoming Chaz, the story of his change from a woman to a man.
Answers on a postcard as to what Cher is turning into (and if Obama would eat it).
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Posted: 22nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sir Simon Cowell biography: How Rebekah Brooks fixed it for David Cameron
TOM Bower’s unauthorised biography of Simon Cowell makes it into the Sunday Times. The Sun deals with the Cowell sex and the Cowell arse – Cowell seems to view his arse as his bigeset enemy; Rupert Murdoch’s more up-market sister organ look at Cowell lifestyle and politics.
Key extracts from todays Cowell ‘n’ Tell are:
Cowell: “The best tomato sauce in the world on a pizza was Pizzaland’s in Windsor.”
Favourite meal: Cumberland sausages, mashed potatoes and Daddies sauce.
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Posted: 22nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
