Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Simon Cowell’s 11-times-a-night sex with most of Alicia Douvall
IT’S open season on Simon Cowell’s love life says his PR Max Clifford. And so we journey to today’s shocker in the Sun that Cowell had sex with cosmetically stitched and unstitched Alicia Douvall, the “ex-model”, 11 times in one night. Not five times, as was once the tabloid staple. This is Cowell. The shag-ometer is cranked all the way up to 11.
This is, of course, the same Alicia Douvall who claimed to shagged married Chelsea captain John Terry, telling us and The News of The World:
“John was sitting in the VIP lounge with with Rio Ferdinand and some other men. I knew Rio hated me because of my past with some other footballers, so I was surprised when John beckoned to me. He told me, ‘I called you over because you’ve got really nice boobs’…He put a cocktail stirrer in my cleavage and made explicit remarks about what he’d like to do to me.”
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Posted: 22nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Did Tinie Tempah turn Jessie J the gay way?
HOW the Tabloids Work – Tinie Tempah has a new fashion range out by Disturbing London at Selfridges in London. Jessie J is on The Voice.
The Sun reprots:
“Jess J and Tinie Tempah’s ‘secret dates’.” – 7 March, 2012
“Jessie Gay… Jessie is 100% lesbian” – 19 April, 2012
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Posted: 21st, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kim Kardashian wins Total Pro award – world sniggers (photos)
AT something called the US Weekly Hot Hollywood Style 2012 – California, Kim Kardashian took home the “The Total Pro” style award. Kardahian is Pro? Whatever can they mean. Still, she took it well (see video)….
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Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In photos – Scarlett Johansson at The Avengers UK premiere
IN Photos – the Marvel Avengers Assemble European Premiere at the Westfield Centre, London. Scarlett Johansson and Robert Downey Junior were there. So too were… Oh, who cares. Scarlett Johansson!
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Valentina Monetta: The Social Network Song – the worst Eurovision song ever?
SONG of the Day is the 2012 Eurovision entry from San Marino, as sung by Valentina Monetta. The Social Network Song is so utterly awful it looks like a parody, a skit from Tracey Ullman. “Do you want to come to my house, and click me with your mouse”….
It might win.
Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Kim Kardashian to be president of the United States Of America?
YOU may think of Kim Kardashian as little more than a sex-tape reject who can’t keep hold of a marriage for as long, but you’ve had her wrong all this time.
You see, Kimmy K is going to be the president of the USA. You may scoff, but who honestly thought that, way back when, bozo quiffboy, Ronald Reagan, was going to go from acting with chimps to hovering over the button that would’ve fired the nukes at Russia? Who actually thought that the people of California would be dumb enough to vote Big Arnie in as governor?
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Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Dappy fights in petrol station because he’s a gigantic pillock
IDIOTS? The world is teeming with them. One of the best examples of a complete and utter simpleton idiot, is Dappy, the Lord of N-Dubz. Away from the silly hats, the allegations of beating the crap out of a woman while the X Factor was on and showing off his long, thin penis online, he’s responsible for some of the most weak-milk music ever cut to wax.
And now, he’s continuing his idiotic form by getting into a gigantic scrap in a petrol station. Classy.
Our Daps has been arrested on suspicion of affray after the fight which left three men with serious facial injuries. Dappy was dragged into custody along with another man after an incident on the forecourt of the Shell garage in Guildford. It has been reported that Dappy and the 27-year-old man approached two girls and three men and asked the girls to go off with them. He’s famous you see? You can be brazen like that.
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Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Spencer Matthews heads into Gaddafi
SPENCER Matthews, star of fly in the deck shoes show Made In Chelsea, poses in the bath with his pet gorilla (see legs), big watch and having pulled on a toweling robe (he’s 23!) tosses is hair and says to OK!:
“I’ve had some pretty bad car crashes because I really love driving. Then I had one involving Colonel Gaddafi’s son, but I’m not sure it’s right to speak about it. Let’s just say, we had a bit of a head clash in St Barth’s, when I didn’t known who he was – it was not ideal! I had to cut my hair and hide.”
Frustrating that by far and away the most interesting ever moment in Spencer’s life was not part of his reality TV existence, which instead features Spence and his chums doing their utmost to dodge anything meaningful or newsworthy on the telly…
Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell: War, Vanya Seager and Mezhgan Hussainy’s other man
DAY Five of the Sun’s serialisation of the book Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell by Tom Bower. As ever the Sun leads and the Daily Star and Daily Mirror follow with their own front-page mash-ups.
First to the Sun, which say on its front page: “COWELL’S £100M WAR WITH ITV.”
The Sun spots the cut above Cowell’s left eye. You might not. What is more obvious is Cowell’s unshaven face, grey highlights and short stack of chins. The inference is clear: “The ‘unauthorised‘ biography I helped the writer with but ‘in a sense’ never approved is not all true. Look. My hair is un-dyed. My face is not smeared in purified baby panda vomit. The only prick near me is that one that’s caused me a wound to my eye. Yes. I am hurt.”
He’s in control, isn’t he, the leader? He’s omnipotent? Or he might just be a randy middle-aged man with a desk and buzzer?
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Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Amy Willerton lives the Channel X reality show
BEFORE Amy Willerton (back row left) won TV show Signed By Katie Price she appeared in a Korean beauty pageant. She tells OK! that the thing was run by some “seriously dogdy” geysers. She says much older men threatened her to make them happy or else stand no chance of winning. She says one even attempted to pull her top down. Girl would go missing for days. When she went to leave the organisers tried to put her in the back of van. Some of the girls were held hostage.
It sounds horrendous.
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Song of The Day – Too Much Too Young
IT’S raining. We’re feeling nostalgic and in the mood to dance like we’re at the school disco. It’s the Specials. Lace up your heavy boots and get ready to stomp…
The 10 best rapper ghetto birthday cakes
EVERYONE loves a cake on their birthday. Until someone invents a cake you can smoke, these are the 10 best rapper cakes ever:
More Mel Gibson lunacy caught on tape! Still not keen on Jews, murder plot and thrilled at the death of Lennon
OKAY. Where do you start with Mel Gibson? His formerly glittering Hollywood career would be as good as anywhere, but all that’s been knocked into a cocked hat as he’s erupted back into our lives as a grade A nutjob. His ex, Oksana Grigorieva caught him on-tape, saying that he hoped she got raped by a pack of N-bombs and he allegedly said a load of tremendously anti-Semitic things to officers of the law.
And then he appeared in public with a beaver grafted to his arm. Yep, Mel Gibbo is as crazy as you can get, but, he’s learned his lesson right? WRONG! That’s because he’s at it again, yelling and reportedly giving it to the Jew both barrels.
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Grown bearded man arrested for impersonating Justin Bieber
INFANT pop superstar, Justin Bieber, has barely been alive long enough to develop his fingernails and fontanelle, let alone a hair on his nuts… so the news coming in that a grown man with a hairy face has been arrested for impersonating the pint sized popstar is odd.
Apparently, authorities have accused a Lee Moir of Toronto of taking-off Bieber. Of course, any adult with the vaguest interest in JB should be flogged in public, so what’s the deal here? Has Moir been seen gyrating in malls singing about babies?
Well, nearly.
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Women behaving badly – the One Direction sex orgy
WOMEN behaving badly- the One Direction sex orgy:
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell: being not gay in the Elton John years – in a sense
SIMON Cowell loves the ladies. It’s day four of extracts from Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell, Tom Bower’s “unauthorised” biography of the TV mogul.
Today Cowell is on the tabloids’ front pages:
The Sun (front page): “JESSIE GAY – SIMON GAY”
One recalls the words of Simon Cowell, the ladykiller: “In this business, if you were gay it wouldn’t be a problem, would it?”
The Sun’s Jen Blackburn writes:
The Voice judge, 24, was ordered to hide the truth from fans by claiming to be merely bisexual, the unauthorised biography says. But in another book, Simon Cowell insists he is NOT gay, despite rumours.
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Jimmy Savile auction – string vests, Shag Wagons and gold up for sale
WHO wants to own item touched by the late Sir Jimmy Savile? His myriad impersonators will surely relish the chance to own his tracksuits, gold jewellery – including a Rolex watch encrusted with diamonds – Rolls Royce Corniche, yellow 1965 Isetta bubble car, teapots and string vests.
The event has been pencilled in for this June, to be staged at Savile’s Hall in Leeds. Proceeds go to charity.
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Caroline Flack ‘still on’ with One Direction’s Harry Styles (Also: Legal action)
DESPITE being one of the most unsettling celebrity relationships in recent history (still nowhere near the levels of mind meltery that is The Krankies), not many people seemed to really care that 82 year old Caroline Flack was getting some slap and tickle with the 18 month old Harry Styles from One Direction.
Even so, for the good of the 1D fans, the couple split up so that he could portray the Sexually Available card, which of course, really means, All Your Pocket Money Belongs To Me Now. A single Harry Styles is a waddling, winking piggy bank.
HOWEVER! It appears that the Xtra Factor host hasn’t finished counting Styles’ pubes yet and was caught telling a bartender at a Soho bar (you can imagine how awful that establishment is) that she and Harry Styles were “still on.” That’s at-odds with the story that he’s been showing a lot of attention to the age-appropriate American singer, Lily Halpern.
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Simon Cowell walks on water and turns his turds into Milk Tray chocolates
WOMEN have loomed large in Simon Cowell’s legend this week, provoking cries of “Oh shut up!” and “I think the lady doth protest too much!” There’s talk of him bedding six women at once and a complete non-story about him fancying Dannii Minogue. However, there’s other elements to the high-waisted svengali that are much more fun to poke at.
According to a new biography about Cowell (so it must be massively true because books don’t lie), the X Factor mogul is completely and utterly mental.
Apparently, our Simon insists on having back toilet roll in his Beverly Hills mansion as well as having a feature that makes it look like he can walk on water like he’s Jesus or something.
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Russian cinema has homosexuality is a disease – calls on Putin for help
IN Russia, the film business is in a mess: Interfax reports:
Russia’s Union of Cinematographers came out with a statement in which it lashed out at the standards of Russian cinema, lambasted the Russian media and claimed that Russia is on the verge of a cultural and moral “catastrophe.”
…The union said illiteracy, degradation of gender relationships, and depreciation of family values are features of modern Russian society. “All these diseases put Russia on the verge of disappearance,” is said.
Russians find Russian films humiliating and have stopped seeing them, the union said. “Generally speaking, modern Russian cinema is destructive. Not only does it fail to generate love for one’s country, for one’s near and dear and for other people – it in principle kills off one’s desire to live, work and raise children in Russia,” the statement said.
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie has a ‘dangerous new addiction’: heartthrob cocaine
“ANGELINA’S DANGEROUS NEW ADDICTION!”
So screams the National Enquirer’s front-page headline in vivid yellow ink.
“Why Brad is WORRIED SICK”
Brad is Brad Pitt. Angelina is Angelina Jolie. And the story is that Angelina is addicted to…Brad Pitt!
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell: the black toilet paper drip feed
SIMON Cowell is on the cover of three newspapers. The Daily Mirror leads with a question:
“An affair with Dannii, lusting after Cheryl, knifing Gary Balow…have we finally had our fill of Simon Cowell?”
No. Well, you might have. But the tabloids haven’t. The Mirror’s front-page news is a trail for a diatribe from Alison Phillips, who reads the Sun’s extracts from Tom Bower’s new book Sweet Revenge, and says Cowell lacks “integrity”, is “seedy” and “smutty”, possessed of a “mammoth conceit”, is “paralysed from forming proper relationships” and lacks honesty.
But he is good for 500 words and a pay check. Ker-ching!
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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
The Great British Menu London 2012: Olympic Feast: Micky Ds and lashings of Thames tap
TO promote the Big Jubilee Lunch to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, Barbara Windsor (no relation) posed with wax-alikes of Colin Firth, Amy Winehouse, Sir Winston Churchill, and a real Jessica Ennis for what would be her choice of guests at the feast. This is not be confused with the London 2012: Olympic Feast, as seen on BBC TV’s the Great British Menu. As anyone knows, given the Olympic sponsors, that means a soup of Coca Cola and melted McDonald’s murder burgers dusted with Cadbury’s Dairy Milk. Drinks will be Thames waster and Heineken. D’lish…
Posted: 17th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alexa Chung and Amy Childs show off their very different bodies online
CELEBRITIES are always posting pictures of themselves on twitter and such. They love it. They love to show off their glamorous lives and harvest all that attention we needily throw at them. Rihanna has long been a fan of posting images of herself in various states of undress on twitter, while Serena Williams is adorably odd when uploading images to Instagram.
With that, two celebrities have provoked a very different response from mere mortals while flaunting their bodies online.
The deeply, intensely, profoundly annoying Alexa Chung may have left our screens but she’s still at large, being all… Alexa Chungy. She posed for a picture with her mum while on holiday and shared it to following Instagrammers. She inevitably didn’t allow for the enormous amounts of grief she would be getting for it (that’s because, by and large, it is hard to imagine she could ever think of anything that isn’t Alexa Chung).
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Posted: 17th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell squashed story of affair with Danni Minogue then told a journalist
TOM Bower’s biography of Simon Cowell’s sex wish list – Sweet Revenge: the Intimate Life of Simon Cowell – is being serialised in the Sun. The Sun (prop. Rupert Murdoch) has bene the virtual in-house magazine for Cowell’s X Factor for years. In American, The X Factor is broadcast on Fox (prop, R. Murdoch), which also broadcasts American Idol (one of Simon Cowell’s other talent shows). The Guardian reports that the Daily Mail thought it would get the rights to the book because the Sun would dare not repeat the allegations that Cowell had shagged his co-judge Dannii Minogue. Accordingly, the Mail’s bid for the right was lower than the Sun’s.
And then this:
Ironically, former News of the World journalists [prop. R. Murdoch] have revealed that Bower’s revelation of Cowell’s short-lived relationship with Minogue was something they had tried to publish up a couple of years ago. The story was put forward to Colin Myler, the News of the World editor, who was happy to run it, until, the former journalists said, Cowell rang News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks [prop. R. Murdoch]. The story was dropped after that call.
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Posted: 17th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
