Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The American Pie Reunion is televised – photos
TO the American Pie:Reunion photocall in London. All the faces were there: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomes Ian Nicholas, Eugene Levy,Tara Reid, Jennifer Coolidge, Sean William Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas and Mena Suvari. So. How are they doing? Well, The Hollywood Reporter noted:
Jason Biggs – $5 million plus a share of first-dollar gross
Sean William Scott – $5 million plus a small slice of first-dollar gross
Alyson Hannigan – $3 million
Eugene Levy – $3 million
Chris Klein, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Coolidge, Mena Suvari and Shannon Elizabeth -$500,000 to $750,000 plus the possibility of bonusing
Tara Reid – $250,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Courtney Love says sorry to daughter, not that anyone believes she’s any less mental (Dave Grohl tweets)
COURTNEY LOVE is, without doubt, the most insane person on planet Earth right now. More insane than an attic filled with Robert Mugabe’s self-portrait pyjamas.
If you missed it, Courtney has been saying that Dave Grohl tried to hump her daughter, Frances Bean. She also said that Grohl has a ‘rapey’ thing going on. Grohl dismissed the claims while Frances, the child Courtney had with Nirvana death boy Kurt Cobain, has called for twitter to ban her mother.
Ostensibly, everyone has slowly turned their back on the Hole frontwoman because she’s not only insane, but impressively annoying with it too. While our backs are collectively turned, Love has now started shouting again… and this time, she’s sorry.
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Posted: 17th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Simon Cowell Sex Factor: lover stole TV star’s wallet and X Factor secrets but never told anyone
DAY Three of Simon Cowell’s orgy of print, according to Tom Bower’s serialised biography. Having not had sex with Cheryl Cole, Natalie Imbruglia and sat next to “brave” Dannii Minogue on the telly, the Sun’s front-page news is that the macho TV mogul once took a “woman” back to his LA hotel room. There, she stole “his wallet and a laptop full of show secrets”. It was just dumb luck that the thief he met in America last October never realised the wallet belonged to minter TV megastar S. Cowell or opened the computer and accessed the Top Secret X Factor Files. She most likely tossed the haul into a canal and went into hiding.
While the Sun bangs on about the X Factor for two pages – the sensation is that Cowell realised last year’s show was crap – the Daily Star ignores that and leads with news that Simon Cowell was “secretly engaged to a Daily Star Page 3 girl”.
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Posted: 17th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Grace Dent v Mufadal Jiwaji – send for The Women
GRACE Dent upset Twitter user Mufadal Jiwaji for being not beautiful on BBC TV’s Have I Got News For You. He tweeted:
“@gracedent reminds me of a girlfriend I once had. By girlfriend I mean that time I accidentally made love to an ugly abhorrent horse.”
In Jiwaji’s world women are all little girls who crave to be pretty and be told so. Is Jiwaji is like most men (but maybe not him), he would be delighted were Dent to knock on his front door, offer a big warm smile, call him cute and tell him that after she cooked him a great dinner she will shag his brains out. (No, not “make love”, Jiwaji. She just wants sex. Right now. With you.). No woman to any man is an “ugly abhorrent horse”. Her only crime is not to have rubbed his leg and offered him a profiterole.
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Posted: 16th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Brad Pitt & Angelina to get married and move their 30,000 children into British schools
AFTER spending their whole relationship sneering about marriage, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to get hitched. They obviously love each other so much that, now, the only thing left to do which will show each other how achingly in love they are, is to get the government involved.
How romantic. And it isn’t like celebrity marriages are fraught, tense affairs that explode in an ugly, messy, public fashion are they? Fingers crossed.
Of course, being Different From Other Celebrities (trademark, Johnny Depp), the pair won’t be getting married in America because it sucks and has absolutely no culture. And so, they’re going to go and tie the knot in France this summer, doing their best to focus on wine and castles, rather than the seething racism that made France what it is today.
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Posted: 16th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kurt Cobain recorded inevitably awful solo album before he blew his brains up
KURT COBAIN committed suicide and, for many, it was awful. The people who felt it most are those who are in their early thirties now because they were not only massive fans of Nirvana, but they were slightly too young to attend any of their gigs, leaving them in some terrible limbo.
Of course, the second Cobain pulled the trigger, he became exempt from criticism and ensured that his back catalogue would forever be held in the highest regard. Looking after the musical legacy however, is a combination of people who hate each other so much that you’d be forgiven for thinking that Kurt did himself a massive favour by fleeing the monstrous characters he would’ve had to live with.
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Posted: 16th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell’s orgy with Dannii Minogue, Cheryl Cole and Natalie Imbruglia – exclusive
SIMON Cowell had an affair with vowel-heavy Dannii Minogue, his co-judge on the X Factor? The Sun says it’s true! It’s front-page headline declares:
“COWELL’S AFFAIR WITH DANNII”
Inside the paper, Ben Jackson’s “world exclusive” tells readers:
SIMON Cowell had a sensational secret affair with X Factor judge Dannii Minogue, The Sun can reveal.
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Posted: 15th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (19)
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West reach out to Kim Jong-un
DATING News of the Week was the revelation that former Mrs Kris Humphries Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West.
As news broke of Kim’s latest Krumpet you could hear the collective sighs and wailing from the Kalifornia homes of Kelsey Grammar, Kevin Bacon, Kermit The Frog, King Kong and Kellan Lutz. Kim Kardashian shakes the Hollywood Petri Dish marked ‘K’ and our oozes with Kanye.
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Posted: 14th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Justin Bieber’s mum wants him to hang out with One Direction
ONE Direction and Justin Bieber have been spending time together in the USA. We know this because Bieber told ITV’s Daybreak:
“[One Direction] were here a couple of days ago, they hung out at my house. We never worked on anything, we just hung out, they’re just cool. They’re around my age.”
They hung out at Justin’s house because they are about the same age? Curb your enthusiasm, Justin. When you hang out with people at home because they are around you age it’s because your mum is either a baby sitter or invited the other children’s mum over for chat about tutoring or for a Tupperware Party.
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Posted: 14th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Courtney Love hated by her daughter and Kurt’s best friends
THIS might surprise you, but Courtney Love has been going mad again. You may think that her wild ramblings, ‘accidental’ nude leaks of herself via her own twitter account, bizarre plastic surgery and the whole Burning Her House Down may be little more than accidents. However… and bear with us… she’s looking like she might be actually insane.
So much so that her own daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, wants twitter to ban her from the site after Courtney claimed Dave Grohl tried to shag Kurt Cobain’s daughter.
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Posted: 13th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Zombie Tupac and Nate Dogg to rise from the dead at Coachella Festival!
ONE of the best ways to maximise the money you make from your music is to die. John Lennon, Elvis and Janis Joplin all sold a million more records as soon as they snuffed the lid. Of course, it didn’t work out that way for Scatman John, but there’s always exceptions to a rule.
Another of entertainment’s hardest working corpses is Tupac, who despite being almost entirely devoid of talent, managed to become a poster boy for white, middle class kids who like straight peaked caps, all typing ‘THUG LIFE’ and #SWAG on each other’s social media networks.
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Posted: 13th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Finding Marilyn – the TV contest to sexually exploit and murder the new Marilyn Monroe
MARILYN Monroe is evoked in a TV show to find the new Marilyn Monroe. Deadline reports on a televised hunt for a new starlet to be the new Marilyn Monroe. Presumably, for authenticity, MM2 will be sexually exploited and murdered – controversial? – by shadowy forces close to the President of the USA:
Entertainment One has teamed with the Estate of Marilyn Monroe to develop and produce Finding Marilyn, a competition reality series that will emulate Monroe’s journey to stardom by featuring twelve young girls as they travel to Los Angeles to compete for a chance to become the next Hollywood “it” girl.
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Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Avengers premier in Los Angeles – photos
THE Avengers premier in Los Angeles – Marvel’s effort at stitching together seven of it superheroes in a fight with the devilish Loki in a New York in meltdown. Thankfully, Iron Man will save the day by bouncing off six other super characters, including adolescent boy bait Scarlett Johansson in her Kinky Boots, Kinky Boots…
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Joe Eszterhas’ letter to ‘Jew hater’ Mel Gibson and Gibson’s reply in full – the Judah Maccabee missives
JOE Eszterhas has written a letter to Mel Gibson, ostensibly about the actor’s apparent reluctance to work with him on the The Maccabees, the movie of the life of Jewish hero Judah Mccabee.
It’s an odd letter that rambles and rumbles on and on, focusing a lot on Mel’s anti-Semitic outbursts. Eszterhas has written the scripts for the films Showgirl, Basic Instinct and Jade. If the Maccabees script is like this letter then the film might not be worth the effort. Indeed, the best option would be to make a film of the letter, and to include Gibson’s reply, which can be read on the last page:
Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comments (10)
Guns ‘n’ Roses refused Hall Of Fame by Axl Rose
DESPITE being one of the lousiest rock bands in the history of human ears, Guns ‘n’ Roses had been invited to be part of the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame. That’d be the GnFR being invited ahead of proper metal bands who influenced many, like Motorhead, Def Leppard and Iron Maiden. Not some basketball boot wearing, lycra cycling short having, pompous shagsack like Axl Rose preening over pedestrian, noodly pop-metal.
Of course, GNR all hate each other, mainly because Axl Rose is one of the most unpleasant humans on the planet (especially in his plastic-surgery goatee and cornrows years) and Slash, all big and tough, probably still cries himself to sleep when he thinks of the things Rose said to him when the band was falling to pieces.
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Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cowell bags Britney for $15m to be mental on X Factor
IS Britney Spears heading to the X Factor?
A big part of the X Factor’s charm is that, away from the crooning and contestant back-stories being forcibly rammed down your gullet, is the vague soap opera that dogs the judges. In the UK show, we’ve got the tension between whichever girls Cowell sits on the panel and, of course, the tension that emanates from every single pore on Louis Walsh’s tiny little head.
Over in America, the tension wasn’t quite there. Americans are, of course, unsubtle creatures who need things to be blindingly obvious before they recognise them. And so, to create cartoonish wrongery, Cowell has hired Queen Of The Damaged, Britney Spears.
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Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Dwarf bites Jennifer Thompson on the bum
JENNIFER Thompson continues to set the Daily Star’s news agenda. Today it’s the “Rooney hooker’s” appearance on ITV’s This Morning making front-page news.
As told yesterday, acting dwarf Josh Bennett revealed all about his night of sex with the single woman defined by her links to Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney.
In “OOMPAH LOOMPAH SHOWED ME HIS WILLY WONKA”, “Rooney’s hooker” fell for an “Oompa Loompa dwarf and bedded him”.
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Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alec Baldwin had dinner with his ‘stalker’ Genevieve Sabourin, which is nice (photos)
IMAGINE having a stalker. Horrible eh? Someone pestering you all the time like a toddler with a rapacious sexual appetite and a bag filled with your shaving scum. Well, Alec Baldwin has accused a woman named Genevieve Sabourin of stalking him after she started sending “a series of annoying and unsolicited communications” to the actor.
However, he first had dinner with her in 2010. Nice work. She probably swabbed his dinner plate for DNA and is cloning another Baldwin brother right now.
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Posted: 11th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)
London Premiere of Salmon Fishing In The Yemen – in photos
A WET Tuesday in April meant one thing: the premier of Salmon Fishing in The Yemen at the Odeon cinema in Kensington High Street in west London. Lovely weather for Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor, trout pouts and other fish…
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Was Lindsay Lohan punching a woman or watching ‘Homeland’?
IT doesn’t matter where Lindsay Lohan is in the world, if she takes one step forward or one step back, she finds herself in trouble. And so, having only been off formal probation for roughly 20 seconds, LiLo is already being accused of getting into a scrap outside a nightclub with another woman!
The apparently bruised woman in question filed an incident report alleging battery. The reason? Well, like common or garden bitchfights, it was apparently over a man. Lohan didn’t like the fact she was talking to one of her male friends, resulting in some pushing and shoving.
So, all well and usual then?
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Posted: 10th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrities and their parents – photos
DO celebrities look like their mothers? Or do they all look like one another? Let’s see. Featuring: Beyonce Knowles, Katie Holmes, Jaime Winstone, Kim Kardashian, Henry Holland, Zoe Ball, Miley Cyrus, Leigh Francis, Sienna Miller, Georgia May Jagger, Alicia Keys, Kate Winslet, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Reese Witherspoon, Kate Middleton, Hilary Swank, Victoria Beckham and Leonardo DiCaprio…
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Posted: 9th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In photos – the Black Cat Auditions for Tales of Terror
IN 1961, Ralph Crane took photographs of the so-called Black Cat Auditions, a feline casting for a part in the 1962 film Tales of Terror, starring Vincent Price, Basil Rathbone and Peter Lorre…
Amy Winehouse’s ghost appears on The Voice
AMY Winehouse is now a ghost. The Daily Star introduces a new way to evoke the celebrity dead: mentoring in the afterlife.
TRAGIC Amy Winehouse is helping an ex-lover to become a pop star from beyond the grave.
Meet Tyler James – the man “who discovered the singer’s dead body”. He’s had an audition on BBC TV’s The Voice.
Says Peter Dyke:
And he reckons her ghost is guiding him on the path to superstardom.
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Posted: 7th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Beyonce Knowles’ sand boobs – the Tumblr photos
BEYONCE Knowles wants us to see her sand boobs.
Why do they stare, Mommy. Why?
Spotter: Tumblr.
Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Jim Marshall – turn the hymns up to 11
JIM Marshall has died. He’s the man who created Marshall Amplification – the famous “Marshall stack” sound prop.
Slash, oncs of Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash offerd a tweet that was, oddly , not all in LOUD CAPITAL LETTERS:
“The news of Jim Marshall passing is deeply saddening. R & R will never be the same w/out him. But, his amps will live on FOREVER!”
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Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
