Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The Smiths and the death of Princess Diana
WHAT do The Smiths mean to you? To the Holden Gallery at Manchester Metropolitan University, for a show about the band:
A raft of art projects under the banner ‘The Gospel According To’ start next week with a major new exhibition showcasing how influential The Smiths have been in European arts and culture. The Part 1 will include video installations of contemporary artists Lucienne Cole tap-dancing to Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, Lars Laumann explaining a conspiracy theory that Smiths classic The Queen Is Dead foretold Princess Diana’s demise, and Andrew Bracey’s animation of a bear dancing to This Charming Man.
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Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Music | Comments (9)
Whitney Houston had a number of drugs in her system when she died, which is incredibly surprising for all
SOME years ago, Whitney Houston said; “the biggest devil is me. I’m either my best friend or my worst enemy.” However, people have been prone to blaming everyone else for the singer’s troubled private life. Of course, when she went and surprised us all by actually dying, everyone immediately assumed it was an overdose and now, there’s an autopsy report which confirms the singer had drugs in her system.
Detectives found white powdery substances and a spoon with white residue in the hotel room where Whitney Houston died according to the report, which is about as surprising as finding out that a member of the clergy is a secret perv.
It transpires that Houston had cocaine throughout her system when she died, with the report adding that there was also a “spoon with a white crystal-like substance in it, a rolled up piece of white paper from off the top of a counter along the east wall of the bathroom.”
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Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dane Bowers & Pal, accused of rape
REMEMBER when Dane Bowers was a popstar? Us neither. All we can ever remember is his various baffling TV appearances and that awful, awful video where he stuck his big toe up Katie Price’s doodah. Despite all this, Dane Bowels has managed to forge something of a career for himself, DJing in the backwaters of Britain for girls who want to shout “let me lick you up and down” at him.
Brrrrr.
However, there’s one woman who has a problem with the whole licking up and down thing, as the former member of Another Level and a male chum of his, were held by police on Tuesday after a woman claimed she was sexually attacked in a hotel room on Friday night.
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Posted: 5th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In photos – Revlon Concert for the Rainforest Fund at Carnegie Hall
THE Revlon Concert for the Rainforest Fund at Carnegie Hall featured Elton John, Jennifer Hudson, Bruno Mars, Channing Tatum, Sting, Meryl Streep and Jenna Dewan showed us how. Nothing says ‘Save the Planet’ like jetting into New York for a show… PS – what’s Elton John up to with that suppository?
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Top five celebrity flight faux pas: Boon, Henson, Gallagher, NY Mets, Depardieu and Three Lions
THE TOP FIVE CELEBRITY FLIGHT FAUX PAS
Gavin Henson: icy reception
Gavin Henson’s alcohol-related antics on a flight from Glasgow to Cardiff were mild by the standards of Rugby Union. The Welsh international and occasional reality TV star threw ice cubes and generally acted the goat, but did nothing truly appalling.
Nevertheless this was enough, in these squeaky-clean times, to get him sacked by his club Cardiff Blues.
Surely some perspective is need here. After all, it’s not as if he’s the first celebrity to roll in the gutter while soaring through the skies, as you will see from our Top Five Celebrity Flight Faux pas….
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
If Anchorman 2 wasn’t bad enough, now there’s going to be Dumb And Dumber 2 as well
LADIES and gentlemen, it’s the return of the idiot! That’s right – getting your brain massaged by comedy so precise, it’s like eye surgery and biting satire is gone, once again swallowed by HUR HUR HUR HUR HURring and people farting into their cupped hands.
Every twobit simpleton somersaulted with glee at the news that Anchorman would be returning to the silver screen and now, they can have a full lob-on in their adult nappies at the reports swirling around saying that Peter and Bobby Farrelly will be bringing everyone a sequel to Dumb and Dumber.
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Revealed: Samantha Brick’s breakthrough video
SAMANTHA Brick, parody, internet legend and, ultimately, blonde ex-pat, is captured on video:
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Kerry Katona’s manifesto for pies
KERRY Katona will “run for Parliament and bring back cheap booze and pasties”.
Katona can do the lot – pasties, kebabs, baps, butteries and loafs. Katona is laying out her manifesto in OK!. Before that some pressing news:
“Newsflash! I’m back in the studio recording and it’s just like riding a bike…It’s a gorgeous song and you can imagine hearing it on the beach in Ibiza or Marbella, dead laid-back!”
Or while riding an actual bike in Wigan or Widnes.
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
The Secret Diary of Samantha Brick – My Struggle For Diana
AS one of the mot successful women in the tabloid media – 4510 comments! – Samantha Brick at 40 (!) has had and done it all. With her blonde good looks, poise, much-loved wit and to-die-for breasts, brave Sam introduced us to Pascal, her dreamy French husband blessed the figure of a younger Gerard Depardieu figure and the luxuriant moustache of a fantasy figure in any one of the Asterix novellas.
Having selflessly opened up her successful private life to scrutiny, talented Samantha now responds to harsh comments on her self-declared beauty from the sublime comfort of her enviable and photogenic home (mixer taps and neo-peasant flagstones) in the ex-pat idyll of France.
She says “the past 24 hours have been…among the most horrendous of my life”.
Could she become famous? The wait was terrifying and not without sacrifice as the locals had expected Samantha to walk past their homes and into the town square at 8 sharp, as is customary on a Tuesday night when women rely on Samantha to whip their menfolk into a state of ardour. They would have to wait to see Samantha and her new outfit and shoes. Life had come knocking at Chez Star.
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dannii Minogue splits from lover in time for Australia’s Got Talent
IT was back in May 2011 we first heard that X Factor judge, formerly Kylie’s Sister Dannii Minogue, had split from Kris Smith.
“Heartbroken” Dannii tweeted:
“Never chase love. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it’s not worth having. Forgiving someone does not mean forgetting what they did. It simply means letting go of the hurt.”
Now almost a year later, the Sun leads witht ehy news of “DANNII”S LOVE SPLIT AGONY”.
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Posted: 4th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Evening Standard says Barry from EastEnders is really Meatloaf
MEATLOAF, last seen sliding that a-way, is in the London Evening Standard. Only, he isn’t. That’s Barry from EastEnders, aka Shaun Williamson belting one out on Stars In Their Eyes…
Spotter: MediaBlog
Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tom Selleck Waterfall Sandwich – photos of brilliance
TOM Selleck Waterfall sandwich is a gallery of brilliance. It’s Tom Selleck, a selection of sandwiches (baps, burgers, rolls and mroe) and a backdrop of lovely waterfalls. Can Tom be out-acted by a Herring with White Sauce open sandwich? Possibly, yes… The Tumblr site is here.
Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kid Casting: child actors who played the young stars on film and TV flashbacks – photos
KID Casting is David Shumka’s tribute to the children hired to play the young adult in films, whether in a flashback or a dream sequence. You know the kid who played a young Woody Allen in Annie Hall? His mum might. What about the class who played the young cast of Lost? It was their big break. The youngster Roger Daltrey in Tommy is called…? Did the youth who played the young Robert Redford in The Natural grow up to be a star? Who played the young Voldermort on Harry Potter? The young Tina Fey in 30 Rock? Somewhere in Tinsel Town is silo marked “I Was The Young…”
Cheryl Cole dreams of marrying Prince Harry
IT IS all very well being a pop princess, but being an actual princess is far superior. Presumably, as a member of a royal family, you get more than mere VIP treatment. You’re probably allowed to handpick a member of the public and hunt them for sport when you get bored. You probably get Findus Crispy Pancakes with griffin meat in them.
With that, we look squarely at Cheryl Cole who British pop royalty who dreams of becoming a blue blood. That’s right – her subconscious has placed Prince Harry in there as husband material, all grinning with a boner.
Of course, Harry has previously revealed his love for Chezza at an awards show in 2009, where he told Joe McElderry that one was “so jealous that you got to spend weeks with Cheryl”. During a question-and-answer session, a fan asked Cheryl whether she knew if Harry ‘fancied’ her, to which the Girls Aloud star replied: “I do! I love Prince Harry. Actually, I had a dream last night I married Prince Harry and was a real-life Princess! It’s true! And Prince Charles was my father-in-law instead of my charity partner.”
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Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
The Beatles children to form a truly awful band? The Drab Four are here
EVERYTHING ever is always spoiled by the introduction of children. Muppets – great. Muppet Babies – awful. Scooby Doo – excellent caper with slight counterculture vibes. The introduction of Scrappy Doo? Worse than a dose of anthrax. Even Popeye had a son at one point and everyone in the world wanted to end his life.
And so, let us introduce to you, the act you’ve known for all these years, The Beatles Babies!
That’s right, we could well be faced with the Drab Four if Paul McCartney’s son, James, gets his way. It has been reported that James Macca is “up for it” and that John Lennon’s son, Sean, and George Harrison’s son, Dhani, have also shown support for the idea, which would see various Beatle-sperm getting together and performing songs which will invariably defecate all over the memory of the world’s most famous group.
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Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (11)
Rear Window timelapse video
THIS Rear Window timelapse video is brilliant. All footage is taken from the original Rear Window (1954) directed by Alfred Hitchcock:
Rear Window Timelapse from Jeff Desom on Vimeo.
Spotter: @jonathanwakeham
Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Heavy metal bands – a world map of where to find them
WHERE can you find the greatest concentration of heavy metal bands? No great surprise. But where do you think the world’s greatest concentration of trad jazz bands is? Come on… I want the exact lost cause and shopping centre…
Spotter: copyranter
Battle of the Mels: Spice Girls at war over invariably awful musical
WRITING a musical is hard work, so why not skip much of the creative process and based it around the back catalogue of a campy, successful band? We’re looking at you, Queen and ABBA. And seeing as the collective member are all completely insane, it comes as no surprise that there’s going to be Spice Girls: The Musical.
Or will there? You see, while theatre producer Judy Cramer (responsible for the awful-but-giganto-hit Mamma Mia!) has been working on the production 2010 and there’s the small matter of Jennifer Saunders (now the female Ben Elton-esque sellout swine) writing the original script, the process is getting awkward.
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Posted: 2nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ashton Kutcher to play Steve Jobs in humourless biopic
THE past 12 months has been the year of men upsetting women, but enjoying something of a renaissance with their careers on the back of it. Chris ‘knocks seven shades out of Rihanna’ Brown has seen his stock soar and Ashton Kutcher, who, allegedly, shagged a young woman in a hot tub on the anniversary of his marriage to Demi Moore has since got a rake of work.
While Demi Moore cries herself inside out while reportedly having issues with drugs and an eating disorder, Kutch heads up Two And A Half Men and, apparently, will play Steve Jobs in one of the two biopics about the late founder of Apple. Dude, Where’s My Hair Gone? in the later stages, presumably.
Of course, Kutcher has a little likeness to the young Jobs (long hair, occasional beard) and the role will see him going from vaguely wayward hippie to founder of Apple.
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Posted: 2nd, April 2012 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Tulisa flees UK via Chris Moyles on BBC Radio 1
FOLLOWING news of Tulisa Contostavlos’ sex life and that the X Factor juge will “quit the UK” following a leaked sex tape, comes news via her twitter page that she is “standing in for Comedy Dave all week on the @chrismoylesshow!!”
Aural sex is the new oral sex…
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Posted: 2nd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Nickelodeon’s 25th Annual Kids’ Choice Awards in photos
TO Nickelodeon’s 25th Annual Kids’ Choice Awards to see Justin Bieber and Will Smith in green snot bukkake and the brightest teeth and talents win awards. Also there was Michelle Obama, who was not slimed, unforgivably…
THE PHOTOS:
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Posted: 1st, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Tulisa Contostavlos quits the UK to ‘get her head straight’
X FACTOR judge Tulisa Contostavlos will “quit the UK” following release of a sex tope of her and Justin “MC Ultra” Edwards. Tulisa’s pal told Heat magazine that the singer “needs some time to get her head straight”. Mindful of that, the Daily Star’s front-page screamer that Tulisa is to “quit” the UK suggests she is off to the San Fernando valley for relignment.
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Posted: 1st, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Romeo Beckham and David Beckham at the Lakers game – in photos
TO the LA Lakers v Oklahoma City Thunder match. And what with this being basketball, Anorak spent the game browsing the stands for famous faces and the exit. We spotted David Beckham and his son Romeo. And they look like they loved being spotted. So we took photos…
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Posted: 30th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Charlie Sheen wishes his massive breakdown on anyone else
TIGER BLOOD is nothing something Charlie Sheen runs on any longer, which is a shame because he was kinda fun when he looked like he was about to die from sheer lunacy, porn-overload and suitcases of cocaine. However, once he started making money from his despairing situation, he started to straighten up.
And then everyone got bored. It was very much a case of Get Rich And Die Glorious or Live And Fade Into Obscurity. He went for the latter.
Looking back at his insanery, he has know idea how it all happened, almost like an out of body experience, although he wishes it was someone else’s body it happened to. Presumably so he could join in with watching the hilarious of someone fragmenting in public, getting dumped by two goddesses and unceremoniously being fired from his main source of income.
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Posted: 30th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito to follow up Twins with Eddie Murphy in Triplets
WHAT you’re about to read is one of the most disturbing and potentially brilliant things you’ll ever digest. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito will be revisiting their awful family comedy, Twins. If that isn’t a weird enough notion in itself, they’ll be drafting Eddie Murphy for this sequel, which will be called Triplets.
Yes. You heard.
The brothers Julius and Vincent are going to discover that they have a third genetically-conceived sibling and that person just happens to be Eddie Murphy who will no doubt be itching to play as many characters in the film as he can (as opposed to, y’know, sticking to one character and making it half decent).
According to reports, Schwarzenegger, DeVito and Murphy are all signed up for this obviously terrible idea. However, it is such a godawful notion, that it will surely be a must for those among you who love watching a carcrash unfold.
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