Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Blue’s singer Lee Ryan’s son is called Rayn Ryan
FORMER Blue singer Lee Ryan’s son is called Rayn Ryan.
Look out for other Blue members following suit:
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Posted: 23rd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Blue Ivy Carter is living in the Queen’s toilet
HOW’S Beyonce’s Knowles daughter Blue Ivy Carter getting on? Well, the colour blue has yet to be trademarked (call me Beyonce – they’re killing your brand). But Heat magazine can revels that Blue Ivy – so named after a Coronation Street haircut – has been orientating herself:
“Her 2,200 sq ft nursery has been identically replicated in each of the couple’s three US houses — so Blue doesn’t become disorientated when they travel.”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Simon Cowell models his new look – it’s BGT 2012
WE spotted Simon Cowell posing with fans at the launch screening of Britain’s Got Talent at the BFI in London.
The TV schedules work in seasons. You know when BGT is in town when you see the aaction figure Simon Cowell, a man physically designed to sit behind a desk and lick his eyes. The contest – as it is every year – is to work out what work he’s had done – and discover who he’s dating. It’s the kind fo fun and games that enliven a dark day in a recession.
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Posted: 22nd, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Premiere of Wild Bill in photos
THE Premiere of Wild Bill in photos: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher and Nick Moran are the streetwise trio of British acting…
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Kim Kardashian is so low that even Jason Statham feels like he can slag her off
SINCE Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries died like a mayfly, everyone has had it in for her. In fairness, everyone has always thought she was a vapid nincompoop, but not, fellow celebrities feel safe enough to sling handfuls of faeces her way.
Mad Men’s Jon Hamm and Daniel Craig have both called her names, and now, remarkably, professional cockerney hardman Jason Statham is the latest to have a pop at the celebutante.
Jason Statham has labelled her nothing more than a ‘brand,’ reports the Mail. When asked if he thought of himself as a brand, he told Details magazine: “F*** no. Why should I?” Confronted with the idea that “people see a guaranteed $30million a film as a brand in need of management,” he replied “F***’ ’em. Kim Kardashian’s a brand.”
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Posted: 21st, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Mickey is looking his age – photos of Disney’s old rodent
MICKEY Mouse is showing his age. Mickey made his screen debut in November 1928 in the cartoon Steamboat Willie. To operate a boat even then, Mickey must have been at least 12. By conservative estimates, Mickey would be 81 in human years. In mouse years, he’s around 40 times as old as that. Whatever Mickey’s on is doing him good.(It’s acetate. Get on with it – ed). One designer has created a statue of what Mickey would look like now. Walter Matthau might smile…
Posted: 21st, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
George Michael reschedules tour now that Heather Trott is dying
ONE of the more peculiar elements of EastEnders is the subplot that Heather Trott really, really, really likes George Michael. She once hid in a garden and sniffed a yoghurt lid that she fished out of a bin. Yes, that’s primetime British television there.
Of course, since George Michael is barking mad and always stoned or nearly dying of pneumonia, he probably thinks ‘Hev’ is a real person. And now she’s being killed off (which will air tomorrow) which means that the singer now feels safe enough to reschedule his tour.
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Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ashton Kutcher is being sent into space, away from humanity
SPACE is the final frontier apparently. It is also destined to be the resting place of imbecilic goof factory, Ashton Kutcher who is probably going to end up dead and orbiting our Earth.
The Two and a Half Men star is the 500th customer to sign up for Virgin Galactic, which of course, is Richard Branson’s business venture where he’ll take wealthy people into space. Branson made the announcement Monday on his blog.
“I gave Ashton a quick call to congratulate and welcome him,” he wrote. “He is as thrilled as we are at the prospect of being among the first to cross the final frontier (and back!) with us and to experience the magic of space for himself.”
“Ashton is joining a fast expanding group of true pioneers who are on their way to a life changing experience and a place in the history books. It’s great to have him on board.”
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Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Stock, Aitken and Waterman gig to feature Steps, Astley, Bananarama and SYBIL!
OH, dear. Pete Burns and Sinitta were at London’s County Hall to herald this summer’s “Hit Factory Live” concert, a cavalcade of hits from Stock Aitken and Waterman. The show will also feature such Capital Gold acts as Jason Donovan, Bananarama, Rick Astley, STEPs, Brother Beyond, Lonnie Gordon, Pepsi & Shirlie, Sinitta, Princess, Hazell Dean, Sonia, Sybil, 2 Unlimited and… No, not Kylie Minogue, the one act who could get a crowd together. This is mob rule music. You’ll know when it’s time to go home because someone will say, “And here’s one I wrote recently…”
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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt marry: She gets pregant while he gets Botox
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married! To each other!! No longer will their children have to ask why their mum and dad have different names. Soon they will just like all the other kids at school. The National Enquirer says the “WEDDING OF THE CENTURY” is “ON!”.
Angelina is making ready by “JETTING off to France to make preparations”.
While “Brad gets ready with PLASTIC SURGERY”.
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Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrities That Look Like Mattresses: Lohan, Spears, Rihanna and more are sex on springs
FACEBOOK Page of the Day is Celebrities That Look Like Mattresses. It features: Kirstin Dunst mattress, Mickey Rourke mattress, January Jones mattress (quilted), Alan Cumming mattress, Britney Spears mattress, Lindsay Lohan mattress, Sandra Bullock mattress, Nadine Coyle mattress, Diane Kruger matress and Rihanna mattress. Sex sells. Dress for availability and comfort…
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Posted: 20th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katy Perry murders ‘Niggas In Paris’
KATY Perry has allowed herself to be filmed murdering Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Niggas in Paris”.
Says Katy on the BBC’s Late Lounge:
“This is about to get real embarrassing.”
Katy does exactly what she promises on the tin:
Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Mick and Keef bury hatchet after ‘tiny todger’ comment
HAVE you seen Keef Richards’ wang? It’s there online should you want to look for it. No, we don’t blame you for not having searched it already. However, if you have seen it, you’ll know that Keith isn’t exactly hung like a hoover bag. So it was a little odd to see him saying that his lifelong buddy, bandmate and business partner, Mick Jagger, had tiny penis in his memoir.
Richards, told the Daily Mirror: “As far as the book goes, it was my story and it was very raw, as I meant it to be, but I know that some parts of it and some of the publicity really offended Mick and I regret that.”
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Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Otters who look like Benedict Cumberbatch
FACE of the Day features Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch:
Spotter: Redscharlach
Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rosie O’Donnell is some kind of hissy monster and gets fired from talkshow
WE all know that people in showbusiness can be fantastically unhinged. Detached from reality, they throw enormous tantrums when the nigh-on impossible isn’t delivered to them on a daily basis. And so, step forward Rosie O’Donnell who, it seems, is a gasping monster who just about upset everyone who dared step onto her radar.
Rosie’s chatshow has been cancelled from Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network, thereby giving all her underlings the chance to tell us all how despairingly awful she is.
One staffer, in what may be the quote of the week referred to the show thusly: “It was such a f**king hellhole.”
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Posted: 19th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Daily Mail fooled by Carol Vorderman’s super-yacht
CAROL Vorderman has a new yacht. It’s a multi-million poond gin palace moored in Bristol. So says the Mail.
The busy Daily Mail Reporter spots Carol’s tweet:
I’ve hired this for the season….thought I’d leave it on Bristol waterfront for a bit x
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Posted: 18th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Kim Kardashian says Kris Humphries defrauded her with Minnesota
KIM Kardashian says Kris Humphries are to annul their marriage as soon as one of them admits to fraud, says TMZ.
Kim, reportedly, wants Kris to admit he defrauded her when having resined himself to living in California then “demanded” she move to Minnesota. Kris says she defrauded him by agreeing to a marriage she had no intention of working at.
And that’s not all. One anomaly is that Kris, reportedly, wants Kim to give him $7 million.
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Posted: 17th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sudan Ambassador says George Clooney is very dishy – photos
GEORGE Clooney has been arrested during a protest at the Sudan Embassy in Washington. The demonstrators are protesting the escalating humanitarian emergency in Sudan that threatens the lives of 500,000 people. Eyewitnesses say that Clooney looked remarkably handsome.
Says one onlooker:
“I wasn’t sure about the light beard, having seen him clean shaven on the cover of Men’s Vogue, but he really pulled it off. Way to go, George.”
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rihanna finally speaks out about Chris Brown collaboration
RIHANNA is an infuriating human being, mainly because she’s always in earshot talking about sex. Constantly. Unswervingly. Sex sex sex sex sex until its as boring as talking about shoe-horns. However, the other story that has swirled around her is her relationship with Chris Brown.
Of course, Brown beat Rihanna up and is still on probation about it all. To confuse matters, RiRi went and recorded a couple of duets with him. It seems everyone has forgiven Breezy, apart from the confused few left looking at the situation and wondering when someone may actually mention the whole ‘being sorry for beating Rihanna up’ thing.
And now, at last, Rihanna has something to say about it all!
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Russell Brand arrested in iPhone ‘tribute to Steve Jobs’
SINCE Russell Brand split up with Katy Perry, the pair have retained something of a dignified silence, which of course, is no good to anyone. Now at least, some vague cracks are beginning to show. HURRAY! We want a nervous breakdown brought on by jealousy, and now please.
And Brand is first to look like he’s going under after he had a quick trip to the police station after being arrested in New Orleans. Apparently, he tossed an iPhone off. (What is it with Brand and phones?)
According to TMZ, Brand grabbed a photographer’s iPhone and lobbed it through the window of a downtown law office. An arrest warrant was issued and the comic didn’t try to attempt to hide his part in the phone fiasco. On twitter, he address the whole thing:
“Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.”
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Lauren Goodger is Peta’s Meratol chomping Dumb Animal of The Month
LAUREN Goodger is Peta’s Dumb Animal of the Month. The Only Way Is Essex player is wearing bodypaint designed to resemble snakeskin.
Aside from wearing leather, Lauren has used and promoted Meratol slimming pills. As the Meratol site says:
The active ingredients in Meratol have been tested both in animals and in humans…
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Is Tulisa Contostavlos dating Ashley Cole’s pet dog?
THE sheet-sniffing PRs running Tulisa Contostavlos’ sex life can add to the news that she is NOT shagging Mark Wright with news that she is NOT shagging actor Jack O’Connell. As he tweets:
“.. In USA. What a top week, u wait now mrs, I o u. My MATE (not lover, not mrs, not any wanky red top label) @officialtulisa T’raa kid!”
“Laughable these headlines are, pure bullshit the lot of ’em. Boyfriend?? ME!? Kids please settle down.”]
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Victoria Beckham gets postnatal depression for Mother’s Day
OK! magazine’s lead story on Victoria Beckham follows the front-cover headline:
“HOW I got over postnatal depression”
Adding:
“David helps her ‘FORGET THE EMPTINESS'”
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Was Frankie Cocozza paid to ‘bang’ Holly Hagan?
FRANKIE Cocozza. What’s he good at, then. The celebrity is in the bag, but what can Frankie do to stay famous? The cocaine was illegal, and Colombian cartels are not given to lucrative sponsorship deals. The singing is dire. The dancing is karaoke dad-like. And the hair – it’s all about the hair – may seek new pastures when it wakes up from hibernation. Well, hope abounds. In this week’s Heat magazine,. Cocozza explains how he came to be photographed getting off with Geordie Shore’s Holly Hagan:
“Some random person offered me a grand to take a picture with her – why would I say no?”
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dannii Minogue pours coffee into her handbag
CELEBRITY Endorsement of the Week is supplied by Dannii Minogue, who explains the reasons for her new range of handbags. Dannii is being sponsored by Kenco Millicano:
“We have woven in different things, like the space to put your Kenco Millicano coffee in!”
The inside of a woman’s handbag is viewed by many of us as being sacred ground. In opening up hers to inspection, Dannii is doing her bit to undo the privacy many stars crave. Having seen the inside of her handbag, is Dannii’s private life, cellulite and knicker drawer now fair game?
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Posted: 16th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
