Tulisa uses ‘sex’ with Mark Wright to promote her new single

IS Tulisa Contostavlos sexing Mark Wright? Can the story of their love for one another keep them in the news? Will they carry the celebrity portmanteau Marisa, Tumark or Twix, in recognition of their respective work on The X Factor and The Only Way Is Essex?

A source tells the Sun of antics in Miami (March 11):

“It was a wild night and everybody was a bit worse for wear. Mark had been flirting with Tulisa all night and he really fancies her. She eventually gave in to his charms and kissed him when they shared a bed together. He’s keen to meet up with her again in the UK and has been bombarding her with texts.”

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

EastEnders’ Shona McGarty fails Asda’s yoghurt police

NEWS is that EatEnders actress Shona McGarty has been barred from the Asda supermarket in Watford, Herts. She allegedly, as the Sun puts it, “suggestively smearing herself with YOGHURT.”

The only thing yoghurt suggests is irritable bowel syndrome or vegetarianism. Put a Muller Fruit Corner on your face is it’s suggestive of sick.

Shona, 20, plays the world’s foremost living Whitney – Whitney Dean. An “angry mum” is quoted:

“It was disgusting. The man was opening up pots and looked as if he was throwing it around. Then the girl started to smear it over herself in a suggestive manner. I had my kids aged ten and nine with me and they certainly don’t need to see that in the shopping aisles of Asda.”

Anorak

Posted: 11th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bruce Springsteen scales the New York Apollo – photo

BRUCE Springsteen was in Harlem , New York,  last night, as The Boss and his E Street Band took to the stage at the Apollo Theater. Springsten also took to the seats, the stairs and the small gantry by the balcony…

Anorak

Posted: 11th, March 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Face of the Day – Baptiste Giacobini dazzles Katy Perry

FACE of The Day – French teeth model Baptiste Giacobini dazzles Katy Perry, Italian actress Elisa Sednaoui, and British actress Kaya Scodelario, at the Chanel fashion show in Paris. M. Giacobini is mostly wearing white. The ladies are wearing Victoria Beckham…

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price unviels the inverse bra

KATIE Price spent part of today launching her new range of swimwear, nightwear and lingerie at Store Twenty One in Worthing, Sussex. The  label is called Katie’s Boutique.

Outside in the light and chill the punters who want to look like Katie Price in a swimsuit formed a line. And who can blame them? We trust the new range is a reaction to news that breast implants might be made of industrial silicon, and Danielle Lloyd’s story of waking up “covered in blood” when her breasts exploded and how following their removal she looks like a “12-year-old boy”.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Celebrity Colonialism with Holly Branson – and Freddie!

CELEBRITY colonialist of the day is Holly Branson, Richard Branson’s daughter. Recently, Holly married Freddie Andrewes “in an idyllic ceremony on Necker Island “(prop, R. Branson – price on application). She’s the “UK patron of Free The Children – a charity Virgin Atlantic works in partnership with“.

The facts come thick and fast in OK!. Says Holly:

“I’m really happy my husband Freddie…is on the trip. We haven’t left each other’s side for two months as we’ve been travelling in Costa Rica and Antarctica for our honeymoon, and only landed back on London a couple of days ago. It’s wonderful to share this experience with him.”

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Denise Richards is not a prostitute, apparently (Charlie Sheen gutted?)

TAKING money to indulge in sexual practices. That’s what a prostitute does, right? Well, actress Denise Richards would like to point out that she’s not a lady of the night. Although she does technically take money for indulging in sexual practices with other thesps on camera. But she’s definitely not a prostitute. Okay? Her ex-husband, Charlie Sheen can “vouch” for her.

And he’s incredibly trustworthy, isn’t he? (See Charlie Sheen’s lovers here. The sex doll’s this way.)

During a TV interview, Denise was asked about the craziest things she has ever heard about herself. Denise admits there have been a host of ridiculous rumours, but she was most shocked about claims regarding her sexual activity.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Daniel Bedingfield will make a handmade shirt and play strip poker for your money

BY now you’ll be wondering what Daniel Bedingfield is up to. The legend has signed up to Pledge Music.

PledgeMusic is a way for you to help your favourite artists make their records. It helps artists and bands design a specifically tailored fundraising campaign to raise money for their next release.

Here’s Bedingfield:

Hi friends,

Welcome to my PledgeMusic page! I’m super excited to announce that it is through this campaign that I’ll be bringing you guys exclusive stuff while inviting you all into the process as I release my upcoming music video for “Out Of My Head” and new EP.

Besides my new music, the other big news is that I’m working 100% independently now: no label, no manager, no filter whatsoever between you and I. While this is exciting, it also means that I need your support more than ever. With your help, I’ll be able to fund future tours and release new music videos for you all.

Here’s the deal… Take your pick from the list of exclusives to the right [sic] and pledge away. These offerings are super homemade by ME and you won’t be able to find them anywhere else after this campaign.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

John Torode discusses his spoons

MASTERCHEF judge John Torode has been speaking with the Guardian.

What’s your favourite piece of technology, and how has it improved your life?
I think it has to be the vacuum cleaner, because it keeps the carpet clean…

When was the last time you used it, and what for?
Funnily enough, last night…

Do you think it will be obsolete in 10 years’ time?
There is no way in the world that a vacuum cleaner will ever be obsolete…

Life imitates Private Eye...

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Guy Ritchie gets morgue room in new home

FORMER Mr Madonna Guy Ritchie is fitting hi new £6 million home out with a room “packed with…poisonous plants”.

Interior designer Nicola Fontanella said:

“He wants everything to look like it does in Sherlock Holmes.”

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

If Justin Bieber doesn’t grow a beard, Selena Gomez is dumping him

JUSTIN BIEBER may not have fully formed his fontanelle yet, but that isn’t stopping his wickle girlfriend from demanding some manly action from him.

No, they’re not going to second-base yet, but rather, an ‘insider’ has told a very trustworthy American publication that, if Bieber doesn’t stop looking like a baby (baby, baby, ooh) and grow a beard, he’s going to find himself very single indeed. Cue: Death threats and love poems written in blood from Beliebers.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 8th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Natasha Giggs to unify Celebrity Mum of The Year titles

CELEBRITY Mum of the Year sees the likes of family favourite Natasha Giggs taking on Abbey Clancy (new to the mum game), Danielle Lloyd (plays two lads up front), Amanda Holden (XX), Charlotte Church, Holly Willoughby, Jennifer Ellison, Katie Price and Kym Marsh.

It was only back in February that TV presenter Gabby Logan was named Tesco Celebrity Mum of the Year. Giggs and Co are up for the Foxy Bingo Crown. We hope one day that the titles can be joined in a unification bout to create the undisputed Celebrity Mum of the Year.

Anorak

Posted: 8th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Holly Willoughby’s secret tweets about an impostor

HOW does Holly Willougby, the This Morning presenter who never shares the joke,  manage to tweet while interviewing someone on the telly? Her hands are holding a script. Is she toe-tweeting?

At 10:46 Willoughby tweeted:

“@leighu79: @hollywills love your dress today where is it from x x” Thank you…. Its one athttp://very.co.uk xxx

Where does she keep her mobile phone?

Anorak

Posted: 8th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Is it Vagazzle or Vajazzle?

JENNIFER Love Hewitt in Maxim:

The fun part of being a girl is that there are little beauty things you can do to make yourself feel special. I can walk around all day and think, Nobody has any idea that I have a sparkly secret in my pants right now. It kind of took off after I wrote about it in my book, and now I have strangers coming up to me all the time like, “Oh, my God, I’m vagazzaled right now. Want to see?” I’m like, “No, I don’t, but congratulations.”

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Kate Moss collapses – four injured (photos)

KATE Moss has collapsed. Not really. Kate would never collapse. She looks more of a folder. And is she collapsed on anyone, would they complain?  What’s collapsed is a billboard of her face and body in a MANGO outfit. It collapsed on Oxford Street, London, partially squashing four passers by.

The victims are all ok.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rob Kardashian to present TV series on socks

ROBERT Kardashian is the one who can use a razor to rid the hair. On the Khloe & Lamar show, featured Rob Kardashian fell upon the passion of his life: socks. Rob has a thing for socks. Rob knows that you can tell a lot about a man by his socks. Robert, for instance, wears three socks. He has compiled a collection of great socks anecdotes for a TV series about sock and their impact on war, the Power Rangers and celebrity sex tapes. Men on the beaches wear no socks. It is the great untapped sock market.  Can Robert Kardahian crack it? Fingers crossed. (And toes!)

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

KAtie Price gets a wedding tattoo

KATIE Price has a new tattoo. This ink goes around her right thigh. This one is a wedding garter. Is this a sign that Katie is ready to marry again and will at all times be dressed as a bride? Will the wedding ring tattoo follow?

C’mon, Katie, do the decent thing and let Prince TenaLadyMeeeeeee and Junior Pete be bridesmaids at your next OK! wedding gig. You can always get divorced. It’s just a TV show and a good day out with 24-page photospread, Katie. C’mon. Make the kidzzzzzz happy…

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Photos of Patricia Heaton looking slutty

EVERYONE Loves Raymond actress Patricia Heaton says Radio Shock Jock Rush Limbaugh was right to call Georgetown Law School Student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and “whore”. The actress tweeted:

Hey G-Town Gal: If your parents have to pay for your birth control, maybe they should get a say in who you sleep with! Instant birth control!

G-Gal: you’ve given year folks great gift for Mother’s/Father’s Day! Got up in front of whole world & said I’m having tons of sex- pay 4 it!

Patricia Heaton, you’re a funny little screen actress I love your Debra Barone, and you’re terrific on The Middle. But your real-life self is becoming a disappointment. Sigh.

patricia_heaton-11

Image 1 of 9

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Living life with Nic and Eva Speakman – conceiving a talking cloud that rains Cherry Cola

THE Speakmans – Nic and Eva – are “psychotherapists and personal development coaches”.  You might have spotted them on Fatima Whitbread’s’ ‘Fat Fighters‘ on ITV’s This Morning.

On twitter, they tell their followers:

If you can conceive it in your mind, then it can be brought to the physical world.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

What’s with Russell Grant and Eurovision?

IS Russell Grant the face and sound of Eurovision? In recent weeks, stories about Grant’s involvement in Eurovision have appeared in the press. There’s a Facebook page called Russell Grant For Eurovision. Only, all the stories are false – unless the stargazer has peered into the future and seen something we’ve missed, Engelbert Humperdinck is singing for The UK and Graham Norton is fronting the show on the BBC:

Daily Star – November 17, 2011:

Strictly Come Dancing 2011: Russell Grant is set to sing for Europe.

Says a source:

 He’s camp just like Eurovision. But he can also sing and dance, unlike some of our past entries.

Anorak

Posted: 6th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Stacey Solomon smokes through pregnancy and gets shouted at by the whole world

THICK but nice. That’s what everyone thinks of Stacey Solomon isn’t it? You wouldn’t trust her to perform eye-surgery but you would absolutely let her meet your nana. She’s unswervingly sweet but not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.

Well, unsurprisingly, Stacey’s gone and done a thick. Yessir, she got snapped smoking fags while she has a baby growing inside her. Now, that may have been one measly cigarette in the whole 9 months (she’s 7 months gone), which would’ve done little-to-no damage, but that matters not. The press demand that mothers make no mistakes. EVER.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 6th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Michael Jackson files stolen by hackers?

WHEN someone says that they’ve landed a load of files of Michael Jackson’s be hacking, you can be forgiven for immediately thinking that some smut will turn up in the turns of earth. Legally, we probably shouldn’t speculate on what kind of bongo film switched Jackson’s groin on.

Instead, we’ll point out that, in this instance, the files that were swiped were actually music files. A large number of them in fact.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bobby Brown lived in a car so Whitney Houston could go to rehab

SO, now that Whitney Houston is dead, we can all say what we like about her because she has no feelings. What gossip is floating around about her? Well, first up, she’s strongly rumoured to have had an affair with Jermaine Jackson (a man hellbent on getting a career out of famous corpses) in ’84.

Allegedly, Jermaine was married to Motown founder Berry Gordy’s daughter at the time, which is nice. He didn’t join the Jacksons’ move to Epic from Motown because of his love for Little Gordy, but alas, found time to (allegedly) dip his wick in Whitney. She was supposedly so besotted with him that she recorded Saving All My Love for You, with a Jermaine lookalike in the video.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Charlotte Church and other shape-shifting hacking victims

I LOVE the word metamorphosis. Shape-shifting finds its most dramatic expression in folklore and in insects. And of course in the fabled Lesley Ash.

The current hacking scandal is a feast of celebrity transformation. Hugh Grant no longer bears the image of solipsistic depressive, forever on the point of movie retirement. We think of him now as valiant champion of celebrity victimhood, outward-looking and lethal as he unleashes his Latymer-engineered prosodics (or suprasegmental phonemes) on the lowly estuary gutteral of withered former hacks.

Steve Coogan, once Byronic satyr of showbiz after-parties with a sniff, as depicted in the tabloid prints, has picked up where Sir Bob Geldof left off as tousle-haired TV gladiator – gliding serenely over Jeremy Paxman’s impertinent interruptions on the thermals of liberating outrage.

Madame Arcati

Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Morrissey, Sean Penn and Roger Waters face Jim Davidson in Falklands Islands Celebrity Smack Dow

IN times of diplomatic troubles we turn to Morrissey. He tells a crowd of fans in Córdoba, Argentina:

“We know the islands belong to you.”

You’ve got to like that ‘we”. It ads sa touch of menace, the velvet standard of a shadowy group of which Morrissey is a member know the truth.

So far, the Argentines have scored Morrissey, Sean Penn and the Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters. The British have Jim Davidson.

Anorak

Posted: 4th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (34)