Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Abbey Clancy gets her brains out
ABBEY Clancy wants to tell OK! readers what models are not stupid:
“They have got brains because they’re paid a lot money… Elle Macpherson has got her own underwear out…you have to have brains for that.”
In brains we trust.
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Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Want to see a photo of Whitney Houston’s dead body? Here you go
WANT to see a photo of Whitney Houston’s dead body? The Sun has so far only managed to get a photo of her “DEATH BATH“. But we’ve got a photo of Houston’s body. Want to see it?
Reared on photos of Michael Jackson on his death bed, TV shows like All New Cosmetic Surgery Live, Body Worlds Extreme Makeover and government-led purges on fat and sugar, we have been invited to look at the human body as revealing of the person within it.
Are we that shallow?
So. Want to see dead Whitney Houston?
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Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)
Whitney Houston spent last hours with OK! (not)
WHITNEY Houston’s death has not escaped the showbiz experts at OK! magazine. The current issue features a black border, Whitney Houston’s life dates and the tagline “IN LOVING MEMORY”. OK! never did get to do an at home with Houston, give her gardens, kitchen and linen the once over but it did meet her. As the cover trills:
“PLUS OK’S DAY WITH WHITNEY HOURS BEFORE HER DEATH”
Hours before her death, Whitney Houston had spent the day with OK! magazine?! Now this is provident scoop.
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Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Whitney Houston: cherchez the lesbian in the death bath (photos)
THE list of things that killed Whitney Houston grows ever longer. Today we can add lesbianism and a “death bath” as tabloid reasons why The singer died..
The Daily Star leads with “SEX TORMENT THAT KILLED WHITNEY”:
WHITNEY Houston binged on the drugs and booze that killed her because she was a secret lesbian, it was claimed last night.
Being a secret lesbian killed her? The Star reprots:
Pals including gay rights activist Peter Tatchell even insisted her marriage to Bobby Brown was a smokescreen for her true sexuality. He said: “It’s important to tell the truth about this aspect of her life.”
Says he:
“Whitney was happiest and at her peak in the 1980s when she was with her female partner. They were so loved up and joyful together. Perhaps her inability to accept and express her same-sex love contributed to her substance abuse and decline.”
Perhaps. Such is the, er, truth. The Star, in the interests of balance to speculation, adds:
His comments sparked a storm of outrage from Whitney fans who branded him a “racist f***” and slammed him for taking a “cheap shot” by “outing” a dead woman.
While the Star’s front page look sat the “cheap shot”, and we ask ‘What role did turmoil over race and sexuality play in the deadly drug habits of Whitney Houston & Jacko?’, the Sun leads with a photo of the “DEATH BATH”.
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Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Justin Bieber sets up the jokes and no-one can see them through
OKAY. We all know the jokes that need to be made about Justin Bieber. He’s young, so we can make jokes about him being underdeveloped and not having his own fingerprints and the like. Good. He can joke that he’s evil and nefarious, thanks to him being successful and that every good-deed he does MUST have some sinister edge.
And so, Justin Bieber is currently setting up a series of appalling jokes we can make, yet, we can’t make a single one of them. Basically, you’re going to have to insert your own jokes when you hear this sound [BOINK]
It’s Valentine’s Day and guess what?! A six-year-old girl has got a date with Justin Bieber!
[BOINK]
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Whitney Houston had sedatives in her system and eyes turn to ‘secret son’ Nicholas Gordon
LIKE it or not, Whitney Houston wasn’t just any old celebrity. She was in the Jimi Hendrix/John Lennon/Marvin Gaye calibre of talent. Her voice, as an instrument, rivaled Coltrane or Keith Moon with what she could do with it, regardless of your tastes.
And like so many before, Whitney’s personal life got in the way of that gift and took her too early. And now, the circus of her death is the last hurrah of her tabloid being. The fullstop will surely come with an answer of how?, rather than why?
And preliminary autopsy results have revealed that sedatives were in the singer’s system. It has been claimed that prescription drugs including Lorazepam, Valium and Xanax were found in Whitney’s room and LA County Coroner Assistant Chief Ed Winter says the results of this preliminary test are likely to be made public this week and determine which of these drugs were in her system when she died.
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Natasha Giggs explains why she bought new breasts
NATASHA Giggs, the sister-in-law and former lovers to Manchester United gentleman Ryan Giggs (he never kisses and tells) will now explain to Closer readers why she had her breasts enlarged, going from a 32B to a 34F:
“I love nice lingerie now my body is in proportion – before my boob job I was always in mismatched bras and knickers.”
In the long run, those big new breasts will have saved her a small fortune.
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Whitney Houston is buried in Kevin Costner’s shoulder
FOR Michael Jackson’s gold coffin, read Whitney Houston’s golden hearse. And her send off is gonna be bigger than Jacko’s funeral. This will be the must-see funeral to end all must-see funerals. Whitney Houston’s funeral is likely to take place this Friday in the 18,700-seat Prudential Centre in her home town of Newark, New Jersey.
Will Houston’s 18-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina grasp a microphone and invited weep into it, like Paris Michael Jackson did? Paris’s tears were described on the caring BBC as her “her public debut”.
Rev Al Sharpton topped that by telling the children: “Paris, Michael, Blanket — I want you to know there was nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with.”
That in turn was bested by Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, who took the chance to stand before the mourners – and the Jackson children – and say: “As a representative of Congress, we understand the constitution. We know that people are innocent until proved otherwise!” She then mentioned the “persistent paedophile rumours” .
Jackson’s funeral was the precedent. We can expect relatives to tell the tabloids about the Whitney they knew best – the Whitney who loved nothing more than watching daytime TV, butchering rhinos for their horns and eating Mars Bar sandwiches.
(See Magic Johnson’s tribute to Jackson: “I went to Michael’s house and the chef brought Michael out a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I was like, Michael — you have Kentucky Fried Chicken! That was the greatest moment of my life . . . we had such a great time, sitting on the floor, eating that bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. God bless you, Michael!”)
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Sea lion mistakes Shakira for Whitney Houston
WHEN Shakira tweeted: “Omg what just happened to me! I was attacked by a sea lion! Lo que me ha sucedido hoy! Un león marino ha intentado atacarme Shak”. The Sun cocked an ear. Re-reporting a tweet is jot adding value to the story in a newspaper with cover price. So the Sun red followed the link to Shakira’s Facebook page, read that she got small scratch when crawling over rocks to get to clsoe to a sea lion and created:
“Shakira is attacked by crazed sea lion – Pop star Shakira was attacked by a raging sea lion which thought her mobile phone was a FISH”.
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Osama bin Laden wanted to marry Whitney Houston and murder Bobby Brown – but Arsenal’s Ramsay scored first
IT’S more than Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsay that links the deaths of Whitney Houston and Osama Bin Ladan. (The theory is whenever Ramsay scores a leading figure of news dies – see Rooney hat-trick kills thousands in Sudan). News is that Bin Laden wanted Houston for his wife.
Kola Boof, a poet who claims to have lived with Arsenal fan bin Laden on a Moroccan estate in 1996, says the now dead leader of Al Qaeda had a soft spot for Houston. Bin Laden wanted to meet Houston. He planned to spend “vast amounts of money” to make his dream come true.
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Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chris Brown’s beating of Rihanna, the day after he wins a Grammy
POP-CULTURE warps our view of people. Roman Polanski can rape a young girl, yet Hollywood defends him. R Kelly can be accused of all manner of depraved things, and he gets his name dragged through the mud. Charlie Sheen is mystifyingly held up as a folk-hero for the awful things he’s done.
And so, to Chris Brown who, three years after assaulting Rihanna at a pre-Grammy award party, returned to the scene of the crime and picked up a gong for Best R&B album. Not only has the industry chosen to forget about what he did, but so too, have a huge number of fans.
Some of Team Breezy have gone as far as saying they’d be happy to get punched by their idol, such is their unswerving support for him. Bizarre. However, the report on the beating itself makes the whole thing incredibly uncomfortable.
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Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Madonna’s insane stalker Robert Dewey Hoskins, now captured (sadly)
THERE’S nothing more that makes us scribes tick than some ginormous tragedy. When everything is glad and cheery, it is deemed a ‘quiet news day’. And so, regrettably, we have to report that Madonna won’t be getting slit from ear-to-ear by her crazed stalker, so then we can fawn over her in an obituary and all join hands in some circle jerk of community grief.
That’s right – the ‘very violent’ stalker who escaped from a mental hospital earlier this month has now been recaptured by police, according to official reports.
Robert Dewey Hoskins (Bob Hoskins?), who has a name that sounds like the kind of actor hired by the Coen brothers, had been jailed for ten years in ’96 after he scaled a perimeter wall at Madonna’s house and threatened to hack open the pop star’s throat if she didn’t marry him.
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Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Buy Alexandra Burke’s elephant or else a charity loses a celebrity
IS Alexandra Burke, the X Factor winner, a work of parody? In a piece entitled “Being in the Public Eye Allows Me to Make a Difference”, Burke tells Huffington Post readers:
I think it’s fair to say that pretty much everyone in the public eye these days ends up becoming a patron, ambassador or some kind of figurine at a charity. To Joe Public it can become a little bit tiresome when celebrities can be seen to wax lyrical about all ‘the good’ they are doing and people must think they fly to all these places, pose for a few pictures and then jump back on their private jet.
Joe Public can be such swine. But they are tired. Let’s have no more said by egotistic celebs searching out good causes to validate their fame.
I can honestly say when I went to Uganda with Comic Relief last year in November it opened my eyes up to a whole other world and really affected me. We were there for five days and I spent a lot of time learning about a charity called Mifumi, which is a domestic violence charity…From personal experiences I wanted to show women that they didn’t have to suffer in silence.
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Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Adele wins six at The Grammys – photos
THE BAFTAS and Grammys were on the same night. Anorak was double-booked, so we did as most of you did and watched the showbiz AGMS at home on the telly. The Baftas are over here. The Grammys are here. It was good night for Adele, who got to hide the frame that offends bitchy fashionistas behind six metal gramophone records. The 23-year-old from Tottenham belted out Rolling in the Deep, the family car trip sound of 2011 at the Staples Centre in Los Angeles.
Said Adele:
“Thank you so much. This is ridiculous. I want to say thank you to every radio programmer and broadcaster that has been playing Rolling in the Deep … because I know it’s not really a pop record.”
Isn’t it?
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Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Tabloid detectives reveal what killed Whitney Houston
WHAT killed Whitney Houston? Well, to save you the bother of wondering any longer, the tabloids are reporting in tandem…
Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Whitney Houston and Danny Gans – Tony Bennett’s legal drugs call is bunkum
WE do not know what killed Whitney Houston. The talk is of Mossad, drugs, downing and murder. Aside from the plaudits and tweet tributes, Tony Bennett wants Houston’s death to be the last of its kind. As he says:
“First it was Michael Jackson, then Amy Winehouse, now, the magnificent Whitney Houston,” he began. “I’d like every person in this room to campaign to legalize drugs. Let’s legalize drugs like they did in Amsterdam. No one’s hiding or sneaking around corners to get it. They go to a doctor to get it.”
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Posted: 12th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Winners and photos – Bafta Film Awards 2012
HERE are the winners and nominees for the Bafta Film Awards 2012. It was cold on the red carpet. The women wore off-the-shoulder gowns and big grins– acting talent commanding teeth not to chatter and skin not to prick and blister against the flashing bulbs. Clooney, Pitt and all the men wore vests, suits and heavy overcoats, preferring to look cool rather than be very cool indeed…
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Posted: 12th, February 2012 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment (1)
In photos – Clive Davis Pre-GRAMMY Gala: Diana Ross’s hair sees off Kardashian breasts
WHITNEY Houston is dead. And the Clive Davis Pre-GRAMMY Gala goes on. This is the Pre-GRAMMY Gala & Salute to Industry Icons with Clive Davis honouring Richard Branson. It’s about the music. But it’s really about the hair. No, not the breasts – hard lucks to Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian who showed more front than Bridlington. It’s the hair that rocks pop.
Branson has hair like a Barbie doll. Slash, the Guns & Roses guitarist, has luxurious curly hair that is always seen beneath a top hat. Does the hair go to the top of the trademark lid, or is it attacked to the hair’s brim? The biggest hair belonged to Diana Ross. Her hair is so big it has it own postcode. It’s massive. It’s hair to share. When Ross dies, her hair will keep growing, possibly in a museum or under Slash’s hat..
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Posted: 12th, February 2012 | In: Music | Comments (5)
What really killed Whitney Houston (photos)
WHITNEY Houston is dead. The singer was just 48. Why? How? Where? The news media knows…maybe…
Where?
Whitney Houston’s body was found in her Beverly Hills hotel room. It was on the hotel’s fourth floor.
She was in the bathtub.
Who found her?
Her bodyguard.
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Posted: 12th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (16)
Behind the scenes at the 64th Baftas – photos
BEHIND the scenes at the 2012 Baftas. The 64th Bafta awards will feature such starry stars as George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, Gary Oldman and Michael Fassbender. Penelope Cruz. They will tread the red carpet outside Covent’s Garden’s Royal Opera House. We went behind the scenes. Here are the photos of the stars, the dresses, the metal faces on sticks and the food…
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Miss Piggy on phone hacking – the other way around
MISS Piggy walks into the phone hacking debate: “Wow. I never thought of it working the other way ’round”…
Spotter: Jack of Kent
Posted: 11th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Naomi Watts to star in car crash biopic of Lady Di
SHE was the Queen Of Some Of Our Hearts! That’s right – Princess Diana or Lady Di – was a much loved woman, despite the fact she’d dole out doe-eyed to starving children while wearing thousands of pounds worth of clothing. She offered very little to the world, but everyone agreed that she was too pretty to be marrying Prince ‘Extreme Wealth’ Charles.
When she died, most of the world was shocked and then moved on. However, there was a strong grief-tourist following who could never quite let go of England’s Rose.
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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Madonna’s psychotic stalker escapes into the wild
MADONNA has timed her comeback to perfection. GaGa is readying new songs, Beyonce is being a mother and everyone is sick to death of Rihanna. Also timing a comeback well is Madge’s absolutely batshit mental stalker who has just escaped from a mental hospital!
Hurray!
Police are searching for Robert Dewey Hoskins and describe him as “a very psychotic man when not taking his medication and has very violent tendencies.”
Hoskins served a 10-year prison sentence after he was convicted of stalking and threatening Madonna. He scaled a parameter wall of Madonna’s house and said, if she didn’t marry him, he was going to slit her throat from “ear to ear”, which is absolutely the way to win a woman’s heart.
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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Jeremy Clarkson offends elephant charity
GUESS what? Go on. Guess. Yep, that’s right, Jeremy Clarkson has gone and said something offensive that has offended people looking to be offended.
Clarkson said on Top Gar that a Japanese car/camper van hybrid was like “people with growths on their faces”. He then did schoolboy impression of the Elephant Man, or any other spazmo, or Jeremy Clarkson waking up.
“You know sometimes you meet someone and they have got a growth on their face and it is bigger than their face … one of those really ugly things.”
Pro lickspittle and Top Gear co-presenter Richard Hammond took his cue and called the vehicle the elephant car.
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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Macaulay Culkin joins Take That and dies – photos
MACAULAY Culkin looks like Mark Owner from take That. And that is is no way a good thing. The media writes back:
“Unrecognisable” – Daily Express
“Thin” – Zapit
“Gaunt” — Entertainment Tonight
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Posted: 9th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
