Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The Kitten Covers: Tumblr Site of the Day
TUMBLR Site of the Day: The Kitten Covers is a fantastic collection of kittens in the mode of classic pop and rocks album covers. This colleciton features: David Bowie, Kiss, Queen, Simon and Garfunkle, Duran Duran, Pink Floyd, The Ramones, The Beatles (which is brilliant), Prince, the Velvet Underground and Nirvana…
Revealed: Why Blue Ivy Carter was named Blue Ivy Carter
ALL hail Blue Ivy Carter, the child of Jay-Z and Beyoncé Knowles. What’s in a name? Well, ever since ‘Poison’ Ivy Tilsley (left) bitched her last on Coronation Street, the name has been waiting to make a comeback. And Blue has been a decent name ever since Billy Blue Cannon strode on to the High Chaparral Ranch in the Arizona Territory in 1870s.
But not eveyone agrees that Jay-Z and Beyonce just chose the name Blue Ivy Carter based on their fave TV showws.
The Huffington Post notes:
Linda Rosenkrankrantz, co-founder of Nameberry, adds that there was a jazz singer Ivy (aka Ivie) Anderson who sang with Duke Ellington. Do Beyonce and Jay-Z know her?
“Uncertain. But when I heard the name Blue I did think of Billie Holiday and Lady Sings the Blues,” said Satran.
Funny. when we heard the word blue we think of a colour and skin on a British summer’s day.
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Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Russell Brand and Katy Perry reveal ordinary, boring, spiteful marriage
RUSSELL Brand and Katy Perry are getting divorced.
Marriage is supposed to the union of two people who are perfect for each other. A union of souls! Two hearts entwined! Alas, most marriages only serve to harvest resentment, lay trowels of gloom on your libido and inject jealousy and spite into your increasingly mundane life.
So, you have children to stave it off for a while, only for your children to add more spite and resentment to proceedings before you have a spectacular and ignored breakdown which screams inside you ’til your insides are deaf.
When celebrities get wed, they’re no different. Look at Russell Brand and Katy Perry. They let go of their wild past and settled down with each other. Of course, they could’ve been really cool and had a swinger’s marriage, but no, they opted for the whole ‘bitter and seething’ thing that befalls so many.
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Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Was Antony Worrall Thompson stealing to order?
ANTONY Worrall Thompson, the TV chef caught shoplifting wine and cheese form Tesco in Henley-on-Thames, says sorry and:
“Hopefully I can make amends”
With onions.
As Worrall Thompson says, when in the police station, he asked himself:
“Why, why, why are you taking three onions?”
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Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Justin Bieber Likes To Talk To God – God To Blame For Dreadful Music
MAYBE it is down to the fact that Justin Bieber is roughly 4 years old that he likes to talk to his imaginary friend. Lots of children have them don’t they? They run around with their little fingers wagging shouting “RED RUM! RED RUM!” in the most adorable way.
And Justin’s little invisible pal is called, charmingly, ‘God’.
He loves his imaginary friend so much that he’s got this whole story about him visiting Earth in the form of a man called ‘Jesus’. It’s adorable really. He’s even got a tattoo of ‘Jesus’ on his leg. Regrettably, the tattoo shows a man who looks like Brian Kilcline who used to play for Coventry City.
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Posted: 9th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Warhorse Premiere photos: Kate Middleton brings the allergies
TO the Premiere of the firm Warhorse, featuring Kate Middelton, the Duchess of Cambridge, who is allergic to horses. Well, that’s what she tells Princes Anne and the rest of the gang…
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Snooki wants to “rape” Lady GaGa
RAPE. Hardly a laughing matter (quick! Someone tell those 6th form comedians who are under the assumption that saying ‘rape’ is a quickfire way to look ‘edgy’). In fact, there isn’t a single funny thing about rape. It’s just thoroughly horrible.
And oddly, Jersey Shore munchkin, Snooki, wants to rape Lady GaGa. No seriously. She said it herself via her twitter account.
She wrote:
“Is @ladygaga in la? Cuz I’d like to rape her before I leave. K thanks”
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Posted: 9th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Antony Worrall Thompson arrested in TV shoplifting pilot
ANTONY Worrall Thompson, the oompah-loompah-sized TV chef of Ready Steady Cook fame, has been arrested on suspicion of shoplifting cheese and wine from Tesco. The Sun’s front-page headline puns, neatly:
“Ready Steady Crook”
The Sun says Henry Antony Cardew Worrall Thompson was caught “pilfering five times” in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. The paper says Thompson committed “five shoplifting episodes in just 16 days“.
The Sun then suggests that if Thompson did steal he did it because of the economy:
The recession-hit star — nickname Wozza — is said to have put some items under the scanner but sneaked others into bags without paying for them.
No shame in this, Wozza. The recession hits us all. And, then, the purchases: cheese and wine. Not crab sticks and turkey twizzlers. Money is transitory. Class is indelible.
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Posted: 9th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Huon Hoang (Junie Hoang) sues IMDB for revealing her real age
HUON Hoang, aka Junie Hoang, the 40-year-old Vietnam-born Texan suing the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) for reporting her real age. Huon Hoang (say it fast and sounds like James Cagney making a threat) says the IMDb (owned by Amazon) used “personal information gleaned from a credit card” when she bought IMDb Pro membership. Huon Hoang says this breached the site’s privacy rules and she is due $1million in damages.
The fear is that Huon Hoang’s age will no longer enable her score such parts as “Tough Asian” in Back on Topps, “Ghetto Girl Three” in Hoodrats 2: Hoodrat Warriors, a “Headless Woman” in Domain of the Damned and “Slapping Girl” in Single and Dealing with It.
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Posted: 8th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jeremy Clarkson, the EDL and a liberal anti-racist Daily Star
JEREMY Clarkson is in a “NEW RACE ROW” says the Daily Star, the paper that until recently supported the English Defence League and warned us of Muslim only toilets in Rochdale. Has Top Gear presenter Clarkson been not racist enough?
GOBBY Jeremy Clarkson stormed into another race row last night after making fun of drowned Chinese cockle pickers.
Is that racist of just offensive? John Ward adds:
And his latest outburst came after the Daily Star Sunday discovered he had posed for a snap with the leader of the racist English Defence League.
Is that the same EDL the Daily Star said 99% of its readers would pick at the ballot box?
The 51-year-old was slammed after joking about dead Chinese immigrants in his regular newspaper column. He tastelessly compared synchronised swimmers to the 21 cockle pickers who were killed in rising tides in Morecambe Bay, Lancashire, in 2004.
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Posted: 8th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Ricky Gervais – the uncensored Golden Globes promise
MONGS! Does Ricky Gervais still like that word? We can’t remember. Either way, there’s a chance that Gervais will be hatching some other ill-advised impishness when he takes to the stage to present the 2012 Golden Globe Awards.
See, he made some brows furrow and bellies laugh when he performed his acidic turn at the 2011 bash. And Gervais agreed to host again this year, under the condition that he be totally let off the leash.
“I do it my way. I get final edit on everything. And everything I do turns out like I wanted,” Gervais says in Friday’s episode of the Today Show. “And they don’t know what I’m gonna say. And they won’t know what I’m gonna say till I say it.”
“I got it a bit wrong I think the first time. I tried too hard with the shtick, the comedy, and I should have just gone out there and done zingers, I think, because the attention span of someone at an award show, particularly the Golden Globe, is about a second.
“They’re drinkin’, they’re talkin’, they’re seein’ someone. You know, you’ve gotta grab their attention. It’s not a great place for a comedian to play because they’ve got other things on their mind. They’re there to see if they’ve won an award, but they don’t wanna see this guy come out and telling jokes. Certainly not jokes at their expense.
“I might even really be drunk…”
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Posted: 6th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Adele to lose weight to ‘Sex Up Imagine’ Or, ‘Becomes Less Real’
CURVY women are a very modern construct. They like to tell you that they’re ‘real women’. Not like those thinner women we’ve been imagining all along. Of course, ‘real women’ like to point at other ‘real women’ who are in the public eye and crow about how marvellously talented and real they are.
One such woman is Adele who, oddly, is obviously image-obsessed because she won’t stop talking about how she doesn’t care about image.
That is, until now. That’s because Adele has lost 25lbs in a bid to ‘sex up her image’. She even tweeted a picture of herself that showed a slimmer face and leaner torso. Does that mean she’s becoming less real and wandering ever closer to ‘imaginary’. Either way, there’ll be some quarters who will chide her for her decision, again underlining how grimly hypocritical some of the ‘curves’ brigade are when they say that people shouldn’t care about the way someone else looks.
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Posted: 6th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Sarah Harding and Theo De Vries produce most hideous story of 2012
SARAH Harding has been the subject of three Sun front pages this year. Harding is the reality TV star who won a place in Girls Aloud. She is now “troubled” Sarah Harding who thought it a good idea to show her wounds and bruises to the Sun.
(Does Sarah Harding have an agent? Might it be time to get a new one? Showing your wounds is pandering to the media agenda that no female pop star can ever be happy. It also damages your career.)
The front-page headlines so far:
Jan 2: “POP’S SARAH HURT IN FIGHT WITH LOVER”
Jan 5: ” He got me by the throat”
Jan 6: “My secret addiction to pills”
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Posted: 6th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Sinead O’Connor: No longer getting divorced (this’ll end well)
MARRIAGE is a daft idea in the first place, but some people are determined to do it, which is fine and all. One person you’d probably advise away from it (as well as any sharp objects) is Sinead O’Connor who recently announced she was getting divorced after being married for roughly 82 seconds.
However, that’s all changed as she’s decided to get back with husband Barry Herridge in what promises to be the most on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off on/off relationship in human history. Either way, it was rutting like barnyard animals that got things back on track.
“Spent a beautiful evening of love making with none other than my husband,” the Irish rocker wrote on her website. “We decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend again and stay married, but we did rush [into marriage].” She then went onto predict that they will be “sickeningly happy” together and says she plans to meet with a marriage guidance wizard or something.
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Posted: 5th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Benedict Cumberbatch to play Khan in Star Trek 2
SHERLOCK is what Benedict Cumberbatch is best known for, but soon, he’ll be tackling the legacy of the mighty Ricardo Montalban (mighty mainly because of his funny name and the fact he wore a false chest in The Wrath Of Khan and starred in Crossroads) as he plays Khan in the new Star Trek movie.
Yessum, Cumberbatch has been cast in J.J. Abrams’ sequel to his 2009 “Star Trek” rehash.
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Solid Solid Crew were the biggest band of all time: 178 members
SO Solid Crew once had 21 Seconds to Go. Then they went. But who were they? Well, one of So Solid crew dated Alesha Dixon, of Strictly Coem Dancing and Britain’s Got Talent repute. He was So Solid Crew’s MC Harvey. But who else was in the band. Wikipedia know. It turs out the Solid Crew massive really were massive. They were 178 members massive. Were they the most bloated band of all time?
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Sinead O’Connor has yam sex with ‘nine other than her husband’
SINEAD O’Connor, who lost her new yam-dimensioned husband, Barry Herridge, in a search for marijuana has found him once more.
On twitter, Sinead O’Connor shared:
“so sinead got laid!!!”…
“Spent beautiful evening of love making with nine other than husband! Who turned up angelically we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”*
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Posted: 4th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Is Angelina Jolie carrying Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s baby? (Photos)
DEEP within the wombs of Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, where tabloid fiction and fact merge to create new lifeforms, twins are brewing. The National Enquirer says Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. It asks: “Is Brad the father?”
The story is that Aniston’s manager Sue Mengers (who died last October) revealed that before Jen split with Brad the actress harvested some of his sperm. She did this not by the Liz Jones method, but collected the precious life force in a test tube which was then frozen.
So. Is Aniston pregnant with Brad’s sperm? Is Jen having twins? Will the twins have brittle hair and frozen Hollywood smiles?
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Posted: 4th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Mariah Carey hogs illness limelight of ailing husband Nick Cannon
THE shock of Mariah Carey being seen in hospital was one thing, but what really surprised us was that she was so willing to bask in the reflected glory of her ailing husband, TV presenter Nick Cannon. That’s right, while Nick lay there looking half dead in his woollen hat (nope, no idea either), Mariah sidled up to him on the bed for a quick photo to share with twitter.
And according to Mariah, he’s suffered kidney failure.
She tweeted: ‘Please pray for Nick as he’s fighting to recover from a mild kidney failure.’
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Posted: 4th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Margaret Thatcher’s family decline red carpet of Iron Lady
THE new Meryl Streep flick about Margaret Thatcher – Iron Lady – is almost certainly going to ruffle some feathers, not least with Thatcher’s own family who have rejected an invitation to see the movie at a public screening, according to the film’s director.
Phyllida Lloyd said that despite the fact she based most of the film on the autobiography of the former Prime Minister’s daughter Carol, she’s not actually spoken to the family about the controversial picture.
Of course, Iron Lady has attracted a fair amount of criticism from various quarters. Some don’t like the way it has depicted the Baroness suffering from dementia. Others just thoroughly hate Maggie Thatcher and are worried that the film will shine a kind light on her.
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Posted: 4th, January 2012 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Amy Childs and Peter Andre In CAN do love story
THE ploy to get Peter Andre and Amy Childs talked about as a showbiz couple is moving on and on. The routine is simple: sentimental singer Peter Andre of CAN Associates is linked to whatever rising wipe-clean reality telly star CAN Associates is plugging. So. Here’s Peter and Amy Childs on holiday in the institutionally racist enclave of Dubai. Here’s the Daily Mail to opine:
There has long been rumours that Peter Andre and Amy Childs were more than friends. And the singer has now revealed they are spending time together in Dubai, as he posts flirty holiday snaps on his Twitter.
How long? Well, back in April 2011, Emily Hall told Daily Star readers:
Amy Childs has angrily slammed rumours that she’s the reason Peter Andre split from Elen Rivas. Amy Childs made it clear she is not in a relationship with the singer, fuming: “We’re just good friends”.
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Posted: 3rd, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady GaGa is a Satan worshipper! Quite possibly!
BLOOD! Imagine it! Imagine it in a bath! Terrible eh? Now, it appears that Lady GaGa had a bath filled with blood in a London hotel for some reason. That reason, many are presuming, is part of some Satanic ritual.
Of course, this is exactly the kind of thing that Lady GaGa thrives on. She’s very keen for us all to believe that she’s as eccentric off-stage as she is on it.
A stunned hotel worker told website Truthquake:
“Lady GaGa left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer. The incident was reported to the concierge, who was told to put it out of her mind.”
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Posted: 3rd, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Ronald Searle a man proved right by the Daily Telegraph
RIP Ronald Searle, creator of the St Trinian’s comics and the brilliant Molesworth.
The Daily Telegraph’s obituary records that Seale complained of being “trivialised” and “typecast” in Britain.
Says the Telegraph:
Searle attempted to kill off St Trinian’s in 1953 to concentrate on what he considered to be his more serious work. But, much to his annoyance, a series of film adaptations meant that the spindly stockinged legs and dastardly schemes of his St Trinian’s girls remained his most distinctive trademark in Britain.
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Posted: 3rd, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Darth Vader dies: Star Wars fighter Bob Anderson was 89
DARTH Vader, was a composite blend of David Prowse (body – top image below) James Earl Jones (voice) and British Olympic fencer Bob Anderson, who played the ultimate film baddie in the Star Wars films. Bob Anderson, who wielded Darth Vader’s light sabre in two Star Wars films – The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi – has died. He was 89.
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Justin Bieber, kisses and Lady Gaga: New York concert photos
JUSTIN Bieber did not kiss Carlos Santana at the New Year’s Eve Concert in New York. But Lady Gaga did lock lips with Ellen Barkin’s fuhrer and New York mayor Michael Bloomberg. Lady Gag aand Bloomberg kissed over a huge plastic prolapsed haemorrhoid with the word “Nivea” written in. 2012 promises to be the year of Prostate Cancer checks and peachy smooth cheeks.
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Posted: 2nd, January 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
