Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Has Justin Lee Collins Been Harassing His Ex-Girlfriend?
SEEN Sesame Street? Seen Barkley the Dog who hangs around with Big Bird? Ever seen it in the same room as Justin Lee Collins?
Anyway, one person who shouldn’t see in the same room as JLC is his ex-girlfriend. They don’t like each other. Alas, that’s not stopped him getting arrested for harassing her. That’s right, the wacky sidekick of Alan Carr is allegedto have caused “fear of violence” in his former girlfriend.
A Hertfordshire Police statement claims: “Police can confirm that Justin Lee-Collins, from London, has been charged at Watford police station with Section 4 harassment (causing fear of violence).”
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Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
20th Duggar child is world’s first celebrity miscarriage
WHEN mother of 19 Michelle Duggar lost her 20th child in a miscarriage, she told People:
“After the appointment, we came back home and told the children. We had just been talking about baby names last night and they were getting excited about naming a boy or a girl. It has been a real sad disappointment. I feel like my heart broke telling my children. They have all been so excited about this baby and looking forward to April coming around and having a new little one in our arms. That was the most difficult. The Lord is the giver of life and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him.”
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Little Mix Single Cannonball is lead balloon music
THE X-Factor was awful, a joyless parade of sobbing bores and bewildering mediocrity. And that was just the judges. Dermot O’Leary still looks like man waiting for the main presenter to arrive.
Mushed together foursome Little Mix won and have released their obligatory debut single in time for Christmas.
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
A thieves guide to Tamara Ecclestone
TAMARA Ecclestone always reminds me of one of those spoiled little rich bitches that flitter from one exclusive boutique to the next looking like gold bars with hair and cocoa dusting. As it is, she’s just a rallying point for the anti-banking and greed movement.
This week in an At Home feature with Tamara, Hello! magazine published a series of smiling perma-tan pictures with enough evidence of spoiled child to make half of Albania start typing draft ransom notes.
Hello! go into some detail here as they both photographed and described the interior of Tamara’s Chelsea home. They asked her lots of dumb-ass questions too, the best of which was where a mega-rich bag carrier would like to spend her Christmas this year. In the Maldives apparently.
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michael Buble swears he’s cool as fans walk out
MICHAEL Buble, the singer with the voice akin to having a nun push a half-melted finger of fudge in your ear, is the subject of the BBC headline:
Buble fans walk out over language
Michael Buble is Canadian, and on reading that headline we supposed the offensive language to be English.
It turns out that the language is not the lingua franca, rather swearing. Buble says that such is his level of cussin’ that many fans have walked out. As he tells the Telegraph:
“Almost every night when I’m on stage my agent will say to me: ‘Well kid, 30 people wanted their money back.'”
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Cleese slams Eric Idle over Monty Python money
PRETTY much everyone involved with Monty Python hates Eric Idle. Of the whole crew, it seems he’s been the most keen to vanish behind the velvet rope and right up his own arse. And now John Cleese has had enough, going openly hostile on his former colleague.
SPLENDID!
The Fawlty Towers star blasted Idle’s comments about the “millions” he has been paid for the musical Spamalot. Idle went public, complaining about the royalty payments he doled out to his fellow Pythons for the musical Spamalot.
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Frankie Cocozza Fights With Girls At X Factor Party While Winking At Big Brother Slot
REMEMBER how ‘real’ Frankie Cocozza was? He was properly, properly real. Not like those other X Factor contestants. He meant it when he sang that song by The Clash. He meant every single word of ‘Rocks’ by Primal Scream. He meant every single name tattooed onto his hairless arse.
Sadly, those that surrounded Cocozza meant it when they gently shoved him into the path of controversy every chance they got. Wanna pint Frankie? Have ten. Wanna girl? Have two, and here’s a line for pep.
Of course, because he got booted off the show, he’s not had much to do. However, he was invited to the X Factor wrap party and of course, he needed to remind the newspapers that he existed. So what did he do?
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Imogen Thomas Did Not Try To Blackmail Mystery Footballer
IMOGEN Thomas will not be tried for alleged blackmail. The footballer has accepted that there was no basis with with to charge her with blackmail. Thomas says he feels “vindicated“.
It was alleged that the Big Brother contestant had blackmailed a Premier League player. At the High Court, Mr Justice Eady imposed a gagging order preventing the naming of the married footballer.
And we can’t name him. The injunction remains in place.
Eady did say this morning: “There is no longer any point in maintaining the anonymity.”
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Beat Box Vicar Gavin Tyte Introduces Five Mind Melting Christmas Carols
THE Rev Gavin Tyte is rapoping the story ofnativity form his perch at the Uplyme and Axmouth churches in Devon. He’s the Bible beater. But is his song the worst Christmas carol ever?
Let’s see:
Coventry Carol – music to murder the innocent by:
God Rest Ye Gerry Mental Men… You must sing this as if envying the turkey being slow-roasted in a gas oven…
I Wonder as I Wander
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment
Georgina Ray Is Jimmy Savile’s Daughter: The Joy Of Greasy Spoon Sex On A Rollercoaster
IS Georgina Ray, Jimmy Savile’s love child? The Sun say the woman with the straw blonde hair, shiny gold tracksuit and gibbery “arseabowt dat den” turn of phrase IS Savile’s daughter.
If she is, then who’s the mum? Is it:
Princess Diana?
Joan Collins?
David “Diddy’ Hamilton?
Georgina, of Cannock, Staffs, tells a “friend“, who tells the Sun:
“Jimmy Savile is my dad — my mum told me.”
It’s easy to believe Georgina. But Anorak sympathsies with the single mum who keen to inject a spot of pizazz into a fatherless child’s life points at the telly and says: “See him… He’s yer dad!”
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Ok! Is Home In The White House With Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard And Family
OSCAR Wild once said that in giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. That’s why we have OK! magazine. Yes, OK! magazine have added words of wisdom to that when penning (in hideous pink writing) their ‘At Home with the Gerrards’ feature this week.
Since my job is to maintain a sardonic grin and keep my pointy pen of derision firmly directed at soft penned foolery, I’d like to bring to your attention to the fact that Crissie Reeves has described her article: “As crisply executed as a formal function at the White House.” Well, that’s something for our esteemed editor to aspire to.
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Posted: 14th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michael Jackson’s Daughter Goes Into Showbusiness Young, Which Is Obviously Ideal
PARIS Jackson, Michael Jackson’s teenage daughter, is going into the murky world of showbiz. You’d think, after the terrible affect it had on her father, she’d be keen to sidestep it all. However, it appears that Jacko was pretty lousy when it came to giving advice.
Before he died, his advice to Paris was simple: Never forget.
Like an elephant? Like a Take That song? He wasn’t done.
“He said, ‘If I die tomorrow, always remember what I told you.’ I took his advice, and I remembered everything he told me”
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Posted: 14th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amy Childs Reveals Her Inner Breasts To Closer
CLOSER Magazine think their columnist Loose Women’s Carol McGiffin is ‘Frank Funny and Fiesty’. Thought I’d point that out for those looking for a new definition of Boring/Cheap/Trashy.
I read Carol’s column in Closer this week and seriously the only thing I could find on an entire page of rose colored lady lube was her assertion that it’s a good thing that Caroline Flack is pushing her unmentionables into an post-adolescent’s face – Harry Styles.
Carol says,
“Relationships are about people not age gaps”
Oh purleese. Why oh why does Carol hold back so? Why not tell us about her good little toy boy Mark Cassidy who’s 22 years her junior.
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Posted: 14th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre Will Do Wembley On His Own
FOR anyone who did not catch Piers Morgan’s Sob Stories on ITV – self-pity station of the year! – the great man was interviewing Peter Andre. The highlight was Pete saying:
“I’m going to say something that will make me sound silly…”
Insaniaaaahhhh
“…but in two years I will do Wembley stadium on my own.”
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Posted: 14th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jeremy Clarkson And Tom Cruise At Mission:Impossible Ghost Protocol Premiere: Photos
TO the UK Film Premiere of Mission:Impossible Ghost Protocol, in the company of Richard Hammond, Tom Cruise and Jeremy Clarkson. One of those people is unbearably offensive on cue. But which one..? Do they all know their place?
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Boy George: Those Lady Gaga Fans Want Me To Die Of AIDS On Twitter
I ONCE heard that Peter Andre confess to having a crush on Boy George when he was younger but I never wrote anything on it.
In fact the last time I wrote anything about Boy George was after he’d spent a glittery ole time in jail after being convicted of chaining hooker Auden Carlsen to a wall and beating him with a chain.
Lady GaGa fans may want to bear that in mind before they lose off with their Twitter death threats because this is one gay Boy George that can bite back.
Yes, according to Boy George some of Lady Gaga’s Twitter fans said they want to see him die of AIDs.
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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Charlie Sheen Tweets His Phone Number To Everyone, Like A Fool
SINCE Charlie Sheen went boring (aka looking like he was going to live healthily for the foreseeable future rather than do loads of coke and die), we’ve had to rely on his ex-wife Brooke Mueller for fun. She got arrested for assault and intent to supply quite recently, which is splendidly poorly behaved.
However, all this doesn’t stop the former Two and A Half Men actor from being a boob. See, good ol’ Sheen has been forced change his telephone number after he accidentally tweeted it TO EVERYONE.
More sinister was the fact he was trying to contact Justin Bieber for reasons unknown. If this was a few months ago, we could’ve speculated all manner of things about machetes, adult actresses and Class A drugs… but alas, this is invariably something horrifyingly tedious.
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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Natalie Cassidy: OK, All I Need For Christmas Is A Ho Ho Ho (No Pun Intended)
SKY News reported today on how a recent study has shown that “new mothers are turning to alcohol because they feel under pressure to be super Mums”. They didn’t actually say where the study came from which made me wonder if they just made it up or if the source of their story came from this week’s OK! magazine?
In an interview published in OK! today Natalie Cassidy talks of her use of alcohol while bringing up her daughter Eliza.
The clue to just how cheesy this interview gets comes in the main picture which shows Natalie taking a tray of freshly made mince pies from her grubby oven whilst perching ginger haired Eliza on her hip.
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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rooney Mara Shines As The Loveable Hacker At The Girl wIth The Dragon Tattoo Premiere: Photos
MONDAY night meant the world Premier of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo at London’s Leicester Square Odeon, David Fincher’s adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s pot boiler. All eyes were on Rooney Mara, who – get this – has no tattoos and is thus not actually Lisbeth Salander, the vengeful feminist goblin.
Says Rooooooo-neyyyyyy, last seen playing Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend in The Social Network:
“They dyed my hair and shaved parts of it, they pierced my eyebrows. I got most of the piercings. This is probably the most intense role I’ve had to do. But I read the books and couldn’t imagine not doing this.”
Piercings for the part seems extreme. But this is Rooney’s moment to shine.
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X Factor WInners Little Mix Leaves With Unarmed Man: Photos
LITTLE Mix Win the Factor – the Press Association produces the caption of 2012:
(Left to right) Jade Thirwell, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jesy Nelson of X Factor 2011 winners Little Mix leave the London Studios in London with an unarmed man, after becoming the first girl band to take the X Factor title.
Is it a typo, or do the male escorts get more weapons when the girls get more famous? Rumour has it that Kelly Rowland has a ICBM…
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Posted: 12th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Shaun Ryder Drops Happy Mondays Reunion Hint
BALDING, shuffling, pink-faced thirtysomethings REJOICE! Not only are The Stone Roses hauling their ample arses out to relive your youth in sweaty fields, but so are the Happy Mondays! Stella Artois shares rocket as a result while Longsight drug labs start churning out speckled Es in a bid to cash-in on this dreadful Madchester nostalgia trip!
Northside are still of no fixed talent.
Anyway, Shaun Ryder is dropped hints heavier than his mortgage bills that his ragtag band are making a comeback next year. Of course, they’ve done the reunion thing on countless occasions already, but why should that stop Ryder and his new, eerie Hollywood teeth?
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Posted: 12th, December 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Sinead O’Connor Marries Barry Herridige, A Yam Of A Man
ANORAK’S Woman of The Year Sinead O’Connor (sorry Coco) would like to announce her forthcoming marriage to a yam of a man who fits the bill. She notes on her website of her wedding to Barry Herridge:
Dear friends… amongst whom I include whomever may be reading this with a view to writing about the glorious marriage.
Am blogging this cus media people are naturally seeking me.
On sunday I will put up blog on whole day. Too glorious for words.
For now though, as you will appreciate, it’s a bit of a ‘Can’t. Talk. Cock. In. Mouth’. Situation.
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Posted: 11th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Farrelly Brothers Milk The Three Stooges: Dumb and Dumbererer Without The Jokes
THE Stooges is the Farrelly Brothers film about the Three Stooges. And it is awful. It’s the disappointing sequel to the hit film that never was. It’s Dumb and Dumbererer.
The rumoured original line up to play Larry, Moe and Curly was Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro and Jim Carrey. None of them are in it. And how delighted they must be. The film features, instead, Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes and Will Sasso, all destined to be the answer to the Trivial Pursuit question: who appeared in the worst tribute film of all time?
The film’s best bit is MTV Jersey Shore’s Snooki getting poked in the eye with a finger. Had the finger re-emerged stuck to a large eyeball attached to a tiny Juicy Couture logo-ed brain, the film could have touched cult status. (And what adolescent boy expect to see a finger in the box? C’mon own up. Yep. None of you.)
The best bit for teenage boys and gnostic priests who might watch the film hoping to see a buxom nun a bikini is the buxom nun in the bikini.
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Caroline Flack And Harry Styles Give Angry Teenagers A Shot At Solitaire Love
NEWS is that saucy thirtysomething Caroline Flack, 32, has been romancing priapic 17-year-old Harry Styles, lead hair of One Direction. The Sunday People says the X Factor presenter – that’s Flack – and the X Factor singer – that’s Styles – have been “forced” to stay apart at the show lest they trigger a “backlash”.
Says a source:
“Caroline and Harry are in the early stages of a romance and can’t keep their hands off each other. They want to spend as much time as possible together and thought that being in the same TV studios on Saturday night would be a great way to see other other.”
“But bosses took them both aside and warned them to stay apart. While they have no issue with Caroline’s relationship with an ex-contestant, they fear the backlash which may arise if people see them or head that they are cuddling and canoodling backstage.’
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Posted: 11th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kerry Katona Sees Her Stalker In The Mirror
KERRY Katona may be one of the hottest and trashiest Z listers in Britain but according to my old friend Dean Piper over at the Sunday Mirror today Kerry’s now got her very own stalker.
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Posted: 11th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
