Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Sting Looks At Dwindling Career And Decides That CDs Are Dying
STING is a man who has an amazing life. He’s wealthy and known for his immense sexual feats. That’s all anyone wants from life, right? Sadly for Sting, he’s also roundly loathed for being unbearably smug.
Either way, his career isn’t exactly firing on all cylinders these days. It seems the world’s appetite for lute anthems isn’t what it once was. Of course, the last time lutes were in demand, Britons lived in bushes and ate conkers.
Seeing as his career is on the wane, Sting has looked at the world and decided that the humble CD won’t be around for much longer. Funnily enough, he’s just released his own ‘Sting 25’ app this week. Odd that someone should say something vaguely controversial when they have something to promote. Oh! He’s just announced some tour dates too!
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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Reserved Helen Flanagan Leaves Coronation Street Under A Basque: Photos
SO. Why is Helen Flanagan quitting Coronation street? She tells Hello! that she’s nothing like Rosie Webster, the would-be glamour model and minx:
“I like that she’s confident, whereas I’m reserved and shy.”
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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Mariah Yeater Drops Her Case Against Justin Bieber: Lawyers Disperse
MARIAH Yeater has dropped her paternity case against singing foetus Justin Bieber.
Why?
Yeater seemed pretty adamant that Bieber had got her pregnant in a fumbling 30-second long encounter.
What changed? Bieber denied the claims. He says he kept his pull ups on and never met Yeater. He publicly offered to take a DNA test to prove he is not four-month-old Tristyn’s dad.
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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kerry Katona Is Not Having Sex With Susan Boyle, A Paving Slap Or OK! Magazine – Yet!
MOST often, Kerry Katona uses her weekly OK! diary to tell readers what man she is not dating. This week, Our Kerry changes tack:
“KERRY’S SHOCK CONFESSION – “I AM ATTRACTED TO WOMEN, BUT I HAVEN’T SLEPT WITH ONE YET”
This is:
“Kerry Katona’s shock lesbian confession”
It is now not only men that be afeared, as Kerry opens up her loins to both sexes.
One imagines that when Kerry has spent the next few weeks listing women she likes the look of but has not humped (Susan Boyle, Demi Moore, Pippa Middleton) , OK! will bring new confessions. Look out for:
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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Ronnie Wood: ‘An Annoying Drunk’
ALCOHOLICS are hilarious aren’t they? Think of the laughs they have when their skin goes yellow and all their organs fail! Oh what pant-wetting japery! Speaking of which, Ronnie Wood – Faces alumni and Rolling Stone – has decided to talk about how drunk he gets.
It’s acceptable to be an old soak in the music industry isn’t it? That’s because it’s ‘rock ‘n’ roll’ and not the action of someone desperately unhappy, bloated or bored.
The 64-year-old (in fairness to Ron, he looks much, much older) rocker has tussled with a drink problem for decades, which is probably why he looks like all four faces on Mount Rushmore. He’s been to rehab several times, but always returned to being a pathetic ale-can.
He entered a clinic for the eighth time last year following a violent altercation with his then-lover Ekaterina Ivanova who was younger and much more attractive than him. And now, he knows that he needs to knock the booze on the head. Presumably because he’ll not be able to waft his credit card around and snare a fit young woman.
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Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Premiere Photos: Los Angeles Red Carpet – (Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner Shake A Leg
THE Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Premiere Photos are brought to you by Kristen Stewart’s leg, Taylor Lautner’s teeth, Ashley Green’s cleavage and Robert Pattinson’s eyebrows of bemusement…
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Can’s Tago Mago Is 40 This Week: Duncan Fallowell Enlarges
LOVERS of krautrock awake! Spoon Records and Mute are bringing out a 40th anniversary edition of the classic, ‘genre-defying’ Can album Tago Mago this week.
As it happens, leading Arcatiste Duncan Fallowell provided the original liner notes which were taken from an article he published in Melody Maker in October 1971, reprinted for the reissue. He didn’t really want them to, but the record companies said: ‘Oh yes, that’s the whole point, it’s historical. And would you like to write some new ones too?’ So, he has done so.
Duncan was the first person in the UK to visit band Can in Germany and write about them – he ‘broke’ them here as it were – and did it – guess where? – in the once old codgery Spectator. ‘Can you imagine it now?’ Duncan tells Madame. ‘It was really marvellous of the Speccie to go with my wildness in those days which was down to the arts editor really, Kenneth Hurren, but George Gale and the wonderful Harry Creighton were amused by it too. I was 21, 22. It was young fresh acid wildness, not the Jeffrey Barnard sozzled old mackintosh wildness of subsequent Spectator years.’
Pete Doherty’s Christmas Carol Panto: WIth Cold Turkey And Amy Winehouse’s Ghost
HAVING outlived Amy Winehouse, pop f**kwit Pete Doherty is seeing ghosts. The Sun tells readers:
JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty has fled to Paris because he says the ghost of Amy Winehouse is haunting his London flat.
It is a well known fact that ghosts cannot stand Paris, City of Lights.
He told pals the 27-year-old’s spirit visited him three or four times at the pad close to where she died in Camden in July.
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Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Jessica Biel’s Organic Striptease Defies Her Looks: Photos
JESSICA Biel would like to explain that her striptease in Powder Blue was more than just a striptease. People can be so judgemental:
“It’s unfortunate. It was brutal for a while. There was so much more that we put into it. [However] I wasn’t so scarred by the experience that I wouldn’t do it again. If a director I trusted came to me with an amazing opportunity and it felt organic, I would do it.”
She used to date Justin Timberlake. You feel they he got away just in time. Biel once said:
“You have to find a balance, especially with what you eat. I don’t live by the idea that you can’t allow yourself a treat. I say, ‘Eat things you like, but eat them in smaller portions’. I always cut things in half and send them back. I’m not perfect, I don’t always do those things, but that’s the goal.”
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Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jimmy Savile Takes Princess Diana’s Secret To His Concrete Grave
WHY has Jimmy Savile’s coffin been encased in concrete?
Robert Morphet, of Bradford-based Joseph A Hey & Son, explains:
“We felt it was better to securely backfill the grave with a dry-mix of concrete for two reasons. One for security, so that the grave couldn’t and wouldn’t be opened again and secondly to provide a secure foundation for the memorial when it is placed on the grave.”
So. Nothing is of great value in the coffin?
“People may decide there is something of value but it was a steel-casket sprayed gold and I can confirm there was nothing of any value there. He was wearing his medal that he got from the marines, his cigars and his beret.”
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Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Did Justin Bieber Tell An ITV Sound Engineer To F*ck Off In Front Of A Pre-Teen Audience?
HAVING had out minds infiltrated by images of Justin Bieber with his branded pull ups about his knees allegedly a-meetin’ and a-greetin’ Mariah Yeater in a 30-second groin tantrum resulting in a son with porn-star name, PopBitch alleges that Bieber has been cussing in public:
In one of the many many breaks in between songs for the ITV special filmed last night, Bieber was sitting on the side of the stage when a sound engineer tapped him on his back and asked if he could just sound check his mic. The cutesy disneyboy-next-door replied “no you fucking can’t. This is my stage, I tell YOU what the fuck happens on it”. His headset mic was obviously working fine, as this exchange was broadcast to the watching audience. Cue giggling from kids and mass tut-tutting from their parents.
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Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
As Frankie Cocozza Melts Away His X Factor Shag ‘n’ Tell Becca Hills Features Is In The Sun Again
MORE news to make us wonder how “student” Becca Hills managed to deliver a shag ‘n’ tell to the Sun about her night with camel-hump haired X Factor femidom gurgler Frankie Cocozza. While Cocozza is melting in the glare of publicity, Becca is illustrating the paper’s feature about how stars are wearing suspender tights. Readers see Becca, whose Facebook profile lists her job as working in Stringfellows lap dancing club and declares an interest in “dogging”, stood between Frankie Sandford, of The Saturdays, talented Jessie J, Pussycat Dolls singer Kimberly Wyatt and Barbadian undies flasher Rihanna.
Starry company, indeed…
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Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Darth Vader Gets An Oscar: So Too Oprah Winfrey For Her Sarah Ferguson Comedies
JAMES James Earl Jones, aka the voice of Darth Vader, has been handed an honorary Oscar. Sir Ben Kinglsey gave him the award on the London stage set of Driving Miss Daisy.
Also awarded as part of the 3rd annual Governors Awards are Oprah Winfrey, who received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for her charity work, including the Oprah Winfrey Foundation, a Leadership Academy for Girls, and the Sarah Ferguson Benevolent Fund, and “the godfather of make-up” Dick Smith (The Exorcist).
Said Oprah:
“I never imagined myself receiving an Oscar, certainly not for doing what I believe is a part of my calling, a part of my being.”
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Jay Z Moves From Occupy All Street To Occupy Hall Street And Occupy Gall Street
JAY Z, the man who once Occupied Glastonbury and showed the wet canvas-dwelling cider drinker how to urban rock has been making a play to own Occupy Wall Street. Jay-Z has been flogging “Occupy All Streets” T-shirts at $22 a toss. It’s clever stuff. He’s changed one letter to brand it as his own and. Other logos overlooked were:
Occupy Ball Street (for the basketball community)
Occupy Call Street (for derivatives traders)
Occupy Fall Street (for fans of post-punk Manchester-rooted pop)
Occupy Gall Street (for cheeky bastards who try to profit from an anti-greed movement)
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Posted: 13th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Ashton Kutcher’s Refreshingly ‘Dishonest’ Sympathetic Backstory: Stringing Demi Moore Along
ASTON Kutcher “is working so hard to court Demi, 49, that he accidentally wrote a tweet making light of sexual abuse“. Yep, it was not his lack of research, stupidity nor alleged cheating on Moore with “hot-tub ready” slappers that caused him to cheer for an alleged child abuser and Joe Paterno, a man some might call an enabler – it was his love for Demi Moore. Before that clanger Kutcher’s twitter feed was mostly famous for broadcasting a photo of his Demi Moore’s bottom.
Now the New York Post reports.
“He’s been in a bubble. He works 12-hour days, is trying to save his marriage and is involved in the management of close to a dozen Internet companies, so he didn’t really know what he had done until it was too late. He feels terrible.”
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Posted: 12th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
How Frankie Cocozza Was Fixed Up With Stringfellow’s Worker And Dogging Fan Becca Hills And Katherine Holland
X FACTOR renegade Frankie Cocozza, the cocky, untalented Brighton teenager with a head like a windswept camel’s hump, remains on the Sun’s front page. The latest news is that Frankie Prankie wanted a treesome with “students Becca Hills and Katherine Holland“.
These would be “student” Becca Hills, of Ashford, Kent, who works at the Stringfellows Nightclub. On Facebook, she described her job as:
“Polishing helmets with Katherine Holland”
Her philosophy is: “Sex, Sex Sex”
And her “favourite sports” are: “Dogging”
This is also the same “student” who told the Sun:
“Some stuff happened between us, it’s a bit embarrassing to talk about.”
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Posted: 12th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Danny Boy For Cat Lovers: Songs For Fans Of Mawkish Maudlin Morning Misery
DANNY Boy for cat lovers, in association with golfing for cats and Digitas, presents a song of mawkish, maudlin misery in sickly pastels from the album Songs To Slit Your Wrists By…
R Kelly Is Back! And This Time, He’s Singing About Throat Surgery!
MENTAL. That’s the only correct word you can feasibly describe R Kelly with these days. He’s the Colonel Kurtz of pop, all paranoid and holed-up lashing out at imagined haters, bringing forth the horror, the horror.
And of course, Kels has been quiet of late because he’s been having throat surgery (literally quiet then) but now, well, his voice has mended enough for him to make another absolutely barking track where he veers from pompous, arrogant swine to wounded, sensitive soul in the bat of an eye.
The man himself took to Twitter, saying:
“It’s been a long time coming but I finally feel a lot better about my throat since the surgery and this is the first song I wrote.”
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Nadine Coyle Doesn’t Like The Rest Of Girls Aloud, Which Is A Huge Surprise
FACE IT, Girls Aloud were one of the most fun pop bands to have around, releasing a whole bunch of killer singles that managed to straddle the teeny-boppers and the adult pop enthusiast. Of course, with success came trouble and they all went their separate ways piddling around with solo projects and egos.
While Cheryl briefly became the nation’s sweetheart and Nicola, Kimberley and Sarah were just plain likeable while they waited for the Girls Aloud reunion, Nadine Coyle went a bit mad. She waltzed off to America, opened a restaurant, flopped a solo LP and became increasing distanced from her band mates.
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Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
You’ve Seen This Film Before: Film Poster Rip-Offs Gallery
YOU’VE seen this film before. The poster looks familiar:
Tiny People On the Beach, Giant Heads in the Clouds
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Mick Hucknell Not Dead: Nik Kershaw Last Seen Riding Jet Ski In Caribbean
NEWS that Mick Hucknell is not dead can be read on page 3 of the Sun (“Hucknell is SImply Not Dead”). Look out for news of other who aren’t dead in the paper every day. Tomorrow: Nik Kershaw.
Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Buy Michael Jackson’s Death Bed: Fans Bid For Killed Singer’s Air, Sheets And Drool (Photos)
THE contents of Michael Jackson’s rented house in Holmby Hills, Calif, are up for auction: the beds, the boys and any doctors you can find cowering in a rabbit hutch can all be yours … for a fee.This is all teh actual stuff Jackson might have touched or even breathed on just before he died.
You might care for upholstered chairs bearing a smudge of what might be Jackson’s makeup, the blackboard carrying a note from one of his children, and – get this – the actual queen-size bed where Jackson died. Yep, queen-sized. You’d imagine something more magisterial for the King of Pop.
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Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Frankie Cocozza’s Cocaine Joy: X Factor Reject’s Amazing Role Model Sex
FRANKIE Cocozza: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the X Factor rebel with the terrible voice, camel’s hump hair and ability to score with girls and drugs dealers. Today: cocaine at 16, sex at 12 and loads more to come…
The Sun (front page): “SHAMED FRANKIE’S CONFESSION – MY SIX NIGHTS ON COKE”
And…
“I’ve bedded six girls since show began”
This is an “EXCLUSIVE”.
Says Frankie:
“I will regret this for the rest of my life. I was an idiot, it was stupid. It wasn’t very role model-like.”
Adding:
‘”I can’t see into the future so I can’t say that I’ll never do coke again.”
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Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Justin Bieber’s Zipped-Up Sperm Collects A Bambi: Photos
JUSTIN Bieber took home an ornamental gold bambi at Germany’s Bambi Awards. Bieber dressed as a zipped up sperm to collect his Babycham bar pump, and we all knew what he meant. Also there was Gwyneth Paltrow dressed a novelty tree and Karl Lagerfeld, who for a man who designs seasonal looks seems to have only one drip-dry outfit…
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Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Did Mel Gibson’s Talented Sperm Show Laura Bellizzi Around A Gated Community? (Photos)
GRAB hold of your hair plugs and prepare to ull hard: Star Magazine claims Mel Gibson is said to have impregnated Laura Bellizzi (aka Laura Patricio) another of his less than immaculate conception.
You will know Bellizzi from her fine work on reality TV show Secrets of Aspen.
Aspen’s social scene is a hive of scandal and intrigue – and Laura is definitely the Queen Bee. She may spend the off-season in Newport Beach, California, but when Aspen’s in season, Laura’s in town — shaking things up and making friends and enemies in equal numbers. This season she’s back in town with big plans to launch a skiwear line. Twice divorced, Laura is the proud mother of three overachieving daughters, but “mom” isn’t the first thing you think of the first time you lay eyes on this stunning beauty. When Laura sets her sights on anything – from another woman’s man to a business opportunity — heaven help anyone who gets in her way.
She and Mel might be suited:
With that said, my actions on the show aren’t always aligned, and aren’t always going to be aligned with my declared faith of the one thing that I am – I’m a Christian, and I believe in God and I do my best, even though I’m not perfect, each day, to seek, find, and fulfill his purpose for my life.
A Bridgette Willis tells Rumor Fix:
“In fact, it was not long at all after she and Mel met that she became pregnant with his child. I don’t know if the baby was planned but I know Laura has told me that she and her parents are just so happy!”
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Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
