The Q Awards 12011: Winners And Photos

THe Full list of winners at the 2011 Q Music Awards:

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Members of the Irish Band U2 from left, Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, arrive on the red carpet for the Q Music Magazine Awards at a central London hotel, Monday, Oct. 24, 2011. (AP Photo/Joel Ryan)

Anorak

Posted: 24th, October 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Occupy Willie Nelson: What Does UK Uncut Make Of Singer’s Tax Song?

OCCUPY Wall Street is putting on quite a show. While Occupy London has skipping, New York has Pete Seeger and now Willie Nelson, who’s getting poetic:

We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for

We stand with humanity
against the insanity…

The whole tax set up is a little unfair
But some of us don’t mind paying our share.

Anorak

Posted: 24th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn Premiere In Photos

THE Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn Premier in photos.

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Daniel Craig arrives at the premiere of new film Tintin at the Odeon West End in London.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment

Cheryl Cole Pays Lip Service To The Beauty Obsessed

CHERYL Cole is in Los Angeles. She puckers up for the camera wearing a pair of giant pink rubber lips…on her face.

She tweets:

“I think we’ve been in LA too long, LMHO!!”

The portrait is a parody on false uniform looks:

“I can’t get my head around everyone having the same nose, because I think it’s the unique things about your face that make you beautiful. I’m not judging, but unless something is really getting you down, it’s best not to mess with nature.”

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Madonna’s Brother Anthony Ciccone Is Homeless In Michigan: So Too Saif Gaddafi, Kathyrn Blair And Milan Abramovich

MADONNA”s brother is homeless. A story in the Michigan Messenger on why so many homeless people head to Traverse City, spotlights Anthony Ciccone, one of Madonna’s older brother. Says he:

Ciccone said he’s been among the city’s homeless for a year and a half since losing a job at his father’s vineyard and winery in Suttons Bay. He said that it annoys him that some people are amused that a person from such a high profile family would end up sleeping, as he does, under the Union St. bridge.

“My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” he said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times — why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I’m homeless on the street?”

“Never say never,” he said. “This could happen to anybody.”

“I don’t have any income, I’ve got to go collect bottles and cans, do odd jobs.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Christina Hendricks’ Boobs Reduced For Latest Role

WHAT’S up with Christina Hendricks’ character in drive ’em up game Need for Speed: The Run?

In the video game, Hendricks plays Sam Harper. As she tells it:

“She’s got a relationship with the main driver player [Jack Rourke]. They come from the same hood. She gets him involved in the cross-country race with a lot of money at stake. There’s an element of pushing him but also taking care of him.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price’s Knobs And Knockers: Jordan Launches Search For Girls Next (2) Doors

ANOTHER day and with it another door for Katie Price to stand by.

Recently Katie was spotted by the front door belonging to a pal of former Kelly Brook lover Danny Cipriani. Now, she has been spotted near to Danny Caprirani’s front door.

Anorak notices a Tumblr blog or meme in the making: Katie Price’s Life By Doors, a coffee table reader in which the nation’s biggest knockers stand by the country’s most famous doors.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Lindsay Lohan’s Father Helpfully Says She’s Smoking Crack

YOU may have seen Lindsay Lohan’s teeth looking rotten as hell recently and thought to yourself, ‘how on Earth did that happen so quickly? Did all her veneers fall off?’

Helpfully, LiLo’s far from trustworthy father has decided to chip in with his opinion.

He said:

“That’s from smoking a pipe with meth or crack. She’s smoking either crack or meth, one or the other. I’m not going to shade it.”

“If you’re talking about prescription medication it would affect all your teeth, not just two.”

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

So Why Are The Stone Roses Reuniting, John Squire?

AS Westlife get ready for their reunions, the Stone Roses prepare for theirs. John Squire, the band’s guitarist plucks away:

“I have no desire whatsoever to desecrate the grave of seminal Manchester pop group The Stone Roses” – John Squire, 2009

“We’ve rehearsed, we’ve written songs and in some ways it seems like 15 years ago. It’s quite strange” John Squire, 2011

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Mong-Faced Ricky Gervais Really Is David Brent: He Wasn’t Acting

IS Ricky Gervais turning into a parody of Ricky Gervais? On his website – well, at least one pretending to be his – the comic confronts his use of the word “mong” and his drive to “reclaim” its meaning “div” or “dozy‘ or a “spud-headed twonk“. His vehicle to change the world is twitter. On it he will market himself as edgy and only disliked by those spiteful losers who are envious of his success.  Sure, he illustrated his new meaning of mong by shoving his tongue into his bottom lip and crossed his eyes, but any connection with the Mongoloid, aka those with Down’s Syndrome was accidental. He says:

“I have never used the word Mongol. I have used ‘mong’, but never to mean Down Syndrome and never would.”

Gervais never spotted the link. In any case, he soon adapted his argument and stated: “Gay, for example, would never be sued to mean happy any more.”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jason Orange’s Sex Life Guided By His Name: Lulu’s Take That Ex Dates Ginger Catherine Tate

IS Take That’s Jason Orange’s love wand guided by his name? The singer and dancer has been dating the comedian Catherine Tate, she of the ginger hair. Orange once dated Lulu, who is also famously ginger. Naokm wonder if Cilla Black, born Cilla White, is considering another colour-based name change in her quest for love?

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Boyz II Men Make Ringtones For You, Hur Hur

REMEMBER all those hits Boyz II Men had? They sold MILLIONS of records didn’t they? Like… uh… that one that went “…til the eeeeend of the rooooad… still I can’t leeeeet goooo…” and… uh, umm.

Did they do anything else?

Do even Boyz II Men remember any of their other songs? That probably doesn’t matter now because they’ve gone into the ringtone business.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 20th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ricky Gervais Is The Language Nazi: Disabled And Able-Bodied Idiots Are All Mongs

RICKY Gervais, star of sniggering, self-regarding unfunny and lazy sitcoms featuring his self-depracting showbiz chums in which he plays David Brent (is he acting?), has been making fun of spazmos, sorry, retards, sorry, mongs.

Gervais says mong means someone who is stupid not somene who has Down’s Syndrome. And that’s odd because no-one told us. But Gervais was at the meeting and he says it’s okay to use a term that insults the disabled to insult the able bodied, too. He’s posted a few photos of himself making mong faces on twitter.

“Good monging, everyone!” he says.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Peter Andre Gives Himself 7 Out Of Ten At Sex With Kristina

PETER Andre “regrets blabbing so many details of his sex life“. So says the Daily Star, sister organ to OK! magazine, in which sentimental Peter tells this week’s readers:

“My Kristina’s a total sex bomb”

Inside and Peter is telling us that he is moving “further way from the industry every time [ he shags a new lover], first with Elen Rivas and now with Kristina“.

That is the same Elen Rivas who was on the book of Peter’s agency CAN Associates and Kristina, who dances on his stage shows.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lindsay Lohan Meets Her Co-Stars In The Morgue: Photos And Stephanie Sautner’s Gem

LINDAY Lohan is now appearing in Custody III, the sequel to her previous most-talked about outings. The sometime actress was at Los Angeles Superior Court to see Judge Stephanie Sautner. The Beak found Lohan in violation of probation, telling one and all – and this is delicious:

“She is supposed to be an actress from what I hear. I don’t know who much acting work she’s done or is doing.”

Send. The. Woman. Down.

How long Sautner rehearsed that line for we cannot say. But we do know Lohan failed to attend the women’s shelter where she was supposed to be volunteering.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Alex Reid And Chantelle Houghton’s Bigamy ‘n’ Tell

A FIRST for OK! this week with news of Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid’s bigamy ‘n’ tell, a story that the current Mr Katie Price has got married to his wife’s ambulatory off-cuts.

Deep in the Kent countryside in the grounds of Ightham Mote manor house, Reid, dresses in a suit so shiny you could shave in it, is kissing the hand of Chantelle.

Says Alex:

“Wow, this would be the perfect place for a hot session.”

Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Joan Rivers Needs To Move In With Victoria Beckham

JOAN Rivers lives with her daughter and grandchild Cooper. Or to put it another way, Melissa Rivers lives with her mum.

This coughs up the potential for comedy. And a reality TV show called Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? But it’s not real because Joan lives with Melissa only four days of the week when the cameras are rolling. When they shut off Joan flies back to New York. We learn this in a Hello! photoshoot, in which Joan looks like a life-size Franklin Mint Doll.

But Joan plays the party line. She says she moved in when she realised that at her college reunion people were dancing with urns. Joan is no china urn – but she does have a porcerline complexion: smooth, brittle and flawless.

Melissa looks much the same, albebt in a darker buscuity coating. Also, Melissa is more LA: she says that the show is “organic“.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jemma Henley And Chelsea’s Ashley Cole: Katie Price’s Cut-Price Supermodel Confesses

ASHLEY Cole, of Chelsea FC and England, has a “SECRET LOVER”, reports the Daily Star on its front page. Of course, he has nothing of the sort. All Ashley’s lovers are branded “MRS C” on the nape of their necks. As you check your own necks, and those of your girlfriend, mother (but not hamsters), the Star tells us:

A SECRET lover of Ashley Cole was yesterday outed by Kate Price, who is now turning her into a supermodel. Jemma Henley claimed she had a hush-hush fling with the footballer for three months.

So much to digest. How do you turn anyone into a supermodel? Starvation, better genes and a manageable drug problem, allegedly?

Katie says Jemma “has fierce model written all over her“. In crayon. She also has a tattoo of Katie Price on her arm.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Robert Downey Jr Wants Us All To Forgive Mel Gibson For Some Reason

MEL GIBSON is not a popular man in Hollywood. He’s been accused of hating Jews, dropping the ‘N’ bomb in THOSE taped phone rants, slapping his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and generally being mental. Just how unpopular is he? Mel was asked to leave his role in The Hangover 2 after complaints from cast and crew. That’s The Hangover 2 which stars convicted rapist, Mike Tyson.

THAT unpopular.

But he’s found a friend in Robert Downey Jr who is asking Hollywood to forgive and forget.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 17th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Hurray! Anchorman 2 Is Scrapped!

ANCHORMAN. It’s about as funny as watching an orphanage burn down. Disagree all you want because if you like Anchorman, you’re opinion on humour isn’t worth listening to. Hell, you shouldn’t even be trusted with the air you breathe.

Sorry.

And so, the good news. Star of Anchorman, Will Ferrell, has confirmed that plans for a sequel have been shelved. Ron Burgundy has told Sky News that Paramount Pictures don’t want to make a follow up.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 14th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comments (2)

Brown Nosing Hilary Swank Regrets Doing Her Research On President Ramzan Kadyrov

SO. A few days on from Hilary Swank being pilloried in the media for jetting off to Chechnya to see President Ramzan Kadyrov, she apologises for her lack of foresight. As she says:

“I deeply regret attending this event. If I had a full understanding of what this event was apparently intended to be, I would never have gone.”

Is she the same person who replied to the question as to how she knew it was the Pres’s big day:

“I read … I do my research.”

Anorak

Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price, Danny Cipriani Are Pranny: An OK! Love Story

“WHEN Katie Price has Leandro Penna’s name inked on her ankle earlier this year, it seems she’d finally found love.” So writes OK! editor Lisa Byrne.

“But last week Katie confirmed they had split and just days later she was snapped leaving the house of a pal of rugby heart-throb Danny Cipriani. So what exactly is going in her love life.”

Well, we’d guess she had been over to see a pal of rugby heart-throb Danny Cipriani to talk about God and the end of the world being nigh?

OK! has other ideas and thunders on its cover:

“KATIE LOVES DANNY – the first interview since going public. Their secret’s out!”

Anorak

Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Who Needs Lyrics? Not This Lot

LYRICS. Who needs ’em? They’re just dumb words getting in the way of a perfectly decent melody (much like the way these words are getting in the way of the video they’re promoting – what a world!).

Many people look at old songs and thrill at the poetry, lambasting new music for being about little more than money and bitches. However, throughout history, music hasn’t always gave a hoot about the words. Look at Surfin’ Bird for starters.

Anyway, in a fine, fine video, some musicians have got together to praise the lyricless bits of pop history.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Katie Price’s Oxford Union Address: The MILF Speaks

KATIE Price, famous for her gigantic Jordans, marrying sentimental orange-hued men, eating kanagaroo anus on the telly and getting awards for being a mother and looking after her own children, has addressed the Oxford Union debating chamber in Oxford University. She follows in the steps of Winston Churchill, the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa. Or, if you prefer, Jordan speaks in the echoes of Pamela Anderson, OJ Simpson, Kermit The Frog and porn star Ron Jeremy.

Katie spoke for eight minutes with no ad breaks. Student Alex McDonald asked who her best lover has been. KP replied:

“It could be you… I’m a MILF, I’ll eat you alive”.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Want To Pull Ashton Kutcher? Sex Him With No Protection And Talk Politics On His Wedding Anniversary

ALLEGEDLY. That’s what we need to say before this article gets under way, okay? Everything you read is alleged.

Right, now the lawyers have gone, we can get into the nitty-gritty of Ashton Kutcher’s alleged one-night-stand with the 23 year old Sara Leal.

This affair, of course, is the reason that Kutcher and Demi Moore are being linked to a divorce. But you’re probably more interested in how you might go about pulling the new star of Two And A Half Men, right?

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 12th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment