Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Justin Bieber’s Hair Donated To Petting Zoo: Photos
JUSTIN Bieber’s hair is for sale. Scientists looking to use DNA cloning techniques to replicate the Bieber and export one to every country on Earth to unite humanity in love and hate can bid for the hair on eBay.
Ellen Degeneres placed a cutting in a box. Now she’s auctioning it off on her page. The money will go to an animal welfare charity. Why not donate the hair to the charity as a item for a new petting zoo?
Read the rest of this entry »
Rango: Johnny Depp’s Karma Chameleon
TO the photocall for Rango, a film starring Johnny Depp as the voice of a pet chameleon that “aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role in order to protect it”.
Rango, incidentally, is a Sudanese musical instrument that came to Egypt with Sudanese slaves in the 1820s.
Read the rest of this entry »
Jennifer Aniston’s Friends Sister Has Baby
IN OK! this week, you can learn about the “FRIENDS STAR” and her baby Sadie.
Friends had six main characters. The woman on the front looks like none of them.
Inside, we meet Christina Applegate, who appeared in TWO episodes of Friends.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Face Of The Day: Janice Dickinson’s Natural Beauty
LONDON Fashion week: The front row of the Julien MacDonald show was unusual. Janice Dickinson’s natural beauty can suck in an entire face and take the air from the room, so they say…
Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Bloody Fantastic: The Susan Boyle Story (Aka F*** Off)
BLOODY Fantastic: Susan Boyle is now a film. Writes Anorak reader Percy – SuBo was his!:
“I hear rumour that Elaine Paige maybe up for the lead role…
PS – the original title was going to be “F*ck Off” but was changed for fear of offending the fragile…”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Film | Comments (3)
Kacey Jordan Shows Charlie Sheen Her Nightclub In A Womb: Photos
KACEY Jordan keeps the hot burning sensation of her fame alive by telling Radar that the baby she just aborted might have been a little Charlie Sheen. Yes, readers the world has just missed out on a baby that can hang from chandeliers and hit a home run with a refer:
“I had the abortion last Thursday, I went home to Oregon to have it because that is where I grew up. I was sick and on the couch all day.”
Always good to have an abortion in your home state, unless you’re Irish.
“I think it might have been too soon to be Charlie’s baby, but you never know. I get pregnant very easily.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
At Home With A Sustainable Peter Jones: Inside The Dragon’s Massive Lair
PETER Jones wants to how us his family at his “LUXURY FARMHOUSE”.
Jones is the tall one on Dragons’ Den, the TV show in which very rich people sit by a stack of cash and play a version of Investment Capitalism Pop Idol.
In Hello!, we get to see his big house, outside of which sit three cars and a golf buggy. The driveway is part of Jones’s 220-acre estate. He lives here with his partner Tara Capp.
Tara, we learn, is “interested in sustainable living”. We see her big fire place and lots of wood furniture, hear of her “homes around the world”, holidays in Portugal, Barbados and two week’s skiing at half term, view the huge indoor swimming pool, home gym, a lake and woodland.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
More PR Bollocks About Kerry Katona’s Sex Life
MORE celebrity ketchup-coated bullshit with Kerry Katona, who is not going out with Jeff Brazier.
The Mail’s “Daily Mail reporter” informs readers:
Throughout this season of Dancing On Ice, speculation has been rife about a romance between Kerry Katona and Jeff Brazier.
Er, no it hasn’t. Katona is, of course, the subject of this OK! gem of disingenuous front-page news:
“WORLD EXCLUSIVE – KERRY KATONA AND JEFF BRAZIER – THEIR ROMANCE REVEALED”
Above a photo of Kerry and Mr Jade Goody, is the quote:
“YES, I LOVE JEFF, I’M ALWAYS KISSING HIM.”
Inside, we heard Jeff say:
“Don’t get me wrong gang, she’s a lovely girl on her way back to her best but I’m as romantically entwined to her as I was with Angela Rippon.”
Said Kerry:
“If Jeff was single, I’d definitely be keen, but he’s not.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
National Chip Week Searches For The Authentic Sound Of Chips
IT’S National Chip Week! Time to have chips with everything!
It’s also a time to answer the question no-one was asking: whatever happened to X Factor runner up Andy Abraham? Well, he’s been living in a plate of chips.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Introducing Luna and Isla Lampard: New Stars Of The Peter Andre Reality Game Show
CHELSEA footballer Frank Lampard is dating TV sofa sitter Christine Bleakley (aka Glistening Blankly) while his ex-lover and the mother of this children, one Elen Rivers, is dating the former Mr Katie Price, Peter Andre, with whom she shares an agent. Such is life in the celebrity Petri Dish.
The couplings make the news cycle on the front page of the Mirror:
DON’T PIMP MY KIDS ON TV, ELLEN – Lampard sent warning letter to ex over Peter Andre’s reality show
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Britney Spears Home In Photos: Hit Me With The Blackamoors
BRITNEY Spears has lashed out $18.9 million on a mock Tudor mansion in Hidden Hills, California. For her money, Spears owns ten bedrooms, thirteen bathrooms, the Barbra Cartland suite, a amusement arcade, a waterfall, a cave and a blackamoor who will take your Cheetos…
Inside the Drawers Of Jennifer Aniston’s Vibrating Love Home: Photos
JENNIFER Aniston says her $42m Beverly Hills home “vibrates with the love that created it”.
“I am so proud of this house. And I want to celebrate the people who made it: the master craftsmen who poured so much of themselves into its creation.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Sinitta In Cancer Egg Horror: Cowell Incubates Story
WHAT news of Sinitta, Simon Cowell’s jobbing girlfriend emeritus? Well, the news is of her cancer. As the front-page headline yells:
COWELL’S CANCER VIGIL – Star’s vigil for pal Sinitta
Sad to hear that Sinitta has the dreaded disease. Writes Adam Luke:
Medics gave relieved Sinitta the all-clear and thankfully the tumour was not cancerous.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole Looks for Love In Russia
IS Simon Cowell’s pop factory not paying minimum wage? We ask in light of Susan Boyle working as an MSN employee and “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl Cole apparently looking for a new husband on Russian dating site RussianBrides.org…
Anna Nicole The Opera: Photos And The Jade Goody Curtain Call
ANNA Nicole is now an opera. The blonde bombshell who married an ancient oil magnate, worked as lap-dancer and mobile Playboy spread, and died in a drugs stupor and gave us all a riveting read of fame and sex is now the subject of a stagey musical.
Eva Marie Westbroek plays Anna Nicole at the Royal Opera house in London. Led Zeppelin bass guitarist John Paul Jones is part of a jazz trio which will play alongside the orchestra.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Anna Chapman Fires Your Pocket Rocket In Her Range Of Space Wear
ANNA Chapman is to design a range of clothing for the man about space. All aboard the Khrunichev [Space] Center may one ay be sporting a racy off-the breast number in symbolic red.
Meanwhile we await news of the nine other Russian spies deported from the US, who on account of their lack of telegenic looks have slipped into obscurity. In the old days, the West’s archetypal Russian woman was a thick-wristed drudge dressed in potato skins, and the spies would have been rewarded for their anonymity.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
The Phil Collins Parade Is Not A Joke: But It Could Be
PHIL Collins is being celebrated in a parade through New York. Is it a joke? To even think Collins could be the target of a joke is, admittedly, odd, given that the musician is one of the UK’s top pop stars. But Collins is naff, isn’t he? He’s had his day.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, February 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Photos Of Justin Bieber In London: Nachos, Soda And Cheese
JUSTIN Bieber was pouring himself a soda and eating nachos at the premiere of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never at the Cineworld O2, by the O2 Arena. For those of you who foolishly spent the night watching Arsenal beat Barcelona (and that includes me – and I am ashamed as I watch the goals over and over and over and…), here are the photos of what you missed. Bieber fan should enjoy them all. Although not those in North Korea or a rape suite, obviously…
10210832
Justin Bieber Says Rape Happens For A Reason, A Bit Like The Handicapped
JUSTIN Bieber is talking about sex in Rolling Stone. Vanessa Grigoriadis asks the questions as they drive in a car. You might think that talking about sex with Bieber would get you seven years to life and cause birds and bees to fly backwards.
So. About the sex?
“I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them. I think you should just wait for the person you’re…in love with.”
Grigoriadis sees an image on Bieber’s laptop. It’s his avatars- the small black girl in the plaid skirt? No. It’s Selena Gomez.
The talk turns to nationalism. Does Bieber want to be an American?
“You guys are evil. Canada’s the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don’t need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you’re broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard’s baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby’s premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home.”
Politics:
“I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”
Abortion:
“I really don’t believe in abortion It’s like killing a baby?” How about in cases of rape? “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”
He hasn’t been raped. Hey, but like all people who are successful, they know that everything happens for a reason. Grigoriadis fails to ask him what he thinks of the handicapped…
Posted: 16th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (9)
Brit Awards For Climate Change: Justin Bieber’s Severed Head (Photos)
THE Brit Awards 2011: How do you pose with the statuette, which is branded by Vivienne Westwood and has at its base the odd message:
“Stop! Climate change.”
Wait for climate change to pass, then put your foot down in your massive tour bus or plane and “Go! Go! Go!”
Read the rest of this entry »
Big Brother’s Josie Pretends To Marry John James In This Week’s OK!: The World’s Most Dishonest Read
JOSIE Gibson, aka Cider With Josie, the woman who won the last ever Big Brother before the last ever Big Brother, is marrying John James, who sounds, like a star of fabled 1980s show Dynasty but is an actual fact a cross between Frank Spencer and a David Beckham look-alike.
Anyhow, they are getting married. It says so on the cover of OK!
“JOSIE AND JOHN JAMES GET MARRIED”
Inside you will read about:
HIS INDECENT PROPOSAL
MY FIVE-STONE WEDDING DRESS
OUR CARAVAN HONEYMOON
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Brit Awards 2011 In Photos: Bieber La Rihanna
THE Brits Awards 2011: Plan B got arrested on stage; Take That did an advert for Man At M&S; Cheryl Cole used a clutch bag as a prop; Rihanna wore Kath Kidston; Justin Bieber stayed up late on a school night; Mumford & Sons worked the banjos; Cee Lo Green and Paloma Faith were fun; Tinie Tempah reminded us that rappers need not by homophobic, woman hates; and these fine acts took home the kind of ornament you last saw on your granny’s mantlepiece… (The fashions are over here.)
10204213
Read the rest of this entry »
How Online Bullies Forced Tamara Ecclestone To Think About Running A Bath
YOU might suppose that given her father Bernie Ecclestone’s vast wealth, Tamara Ecclestone would opt to work as a nurse, teacher, research scientist or soldier. Instead, Tamara has opted for the perilous and challenging path of “celebrity”.
This week, Tamara is a “slender model and TV presenter”.
Tamara is at home when Hello! comes calling. Beneath the quote, “I’m not a spoilt ungrateful brat who doesn’t know the value of money”, we’re swiftly introduced to “14 shelves…stacked with Christian Louboutins alone, with a further 22 pairs of Ugg boots and at last 50 pairs of pumps.”
There are Hermes Berkin bags (“17 in total”), lots of dresses and a “collection of sunglasses”.
“Despite the overwhelming choice, Tamara says it takes her five minutes to get ready in the morning, but considerably longer if she’s going out to an event.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Track Of The Day: Chase Hamblin – Bye Bye
Chase Hamblin currently has about 12 fans in the UK, which is tragic given just how talented the man is. A native of Houston, USA, Hamblin is fast making a name for himself for producing some of the most exquisite power pop around.
He recently issued a five track EP which you can download from iTunes or Amazon or, sneak a quick listen to on MySpace, that is just about perfect. This tune, Bye Bye, is his big Hey Jude moment. A slow strum of song that boasts a killer chorus and a bang on na na na na finale. It is incredible, but yet isn’t even the best moment on his EP. That accolade goes to A Fine Time, a song that will make anyone who remembers Jellyfish, Matthew Sweet or any of the other 90s power poppers grin from ear to ear.
Let’s hope he makes it to these shores soon.
Charlie Sheen: ‘Avoid Crack, Unless You Can Manage It Socially’
CHARLIE Sheen, Anorak’s Man of the Year and a shoo-in to play the lead housecoat in the Hugh Hefner story (Volumes 1 through 24 and special scratch ‘n’ sniff edition) is calling the Dan Patrick Show. Sheen is having at-home re-hab. He has tips:
“Avoid crack, unless you can manage it socially.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
