Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s New Book And Other Nasal Extracts In Bali
TARA Palmer-Tomkinson wants to show you Hello! readers her new villa in Bali: Villa Tara. It’s a slice of heaven, with simple foreigners happy to serve the white lady:
“Every day the Balinese staff, who are the most gentle and joyous people, come in with offerings and make a little temple and bless the villa.”
It’s much the same among the gentle people of London who tend to Old Mr Anorak’s every whim without complaint and ever a smile. But London can be mean place if you have the wrong staff, says TP-T:
“It gets very wearing, feeling like you are picked on every time you go out.”
Can the showbiz pals help you, Tara?
“The day those pictures were published (of TP-T’s cocaine-damaged nose), my dear friend Rupert Everett called me up and said, ‘Come on, TP. Come out to dinner.’ He’s such a love, Rupert. We’re very alike in many ways; he has a vulnerability, a fragility and, like me, he’s been through a lot. I as wailing down the phone, ‘It’s not true – my nose hasn’t fallen off!’”
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)
Peter Andre’s Mysterious Girl Smells Of Sweat And Touch Eclat
PETER Andre has heard the comments and launched his new fragrance Mysterious Girl.
Peter has already brought to market his scents Conditional and Unconditional.
As Peter knows, as we age our odour changes. The smell of nutmeg and warm butter in newborns fades to antiseptic cream and pencil lead in our childhood, which gives over to dried emissions in our adolescents and then unlaundered sheets in our twenties.
One day Peter will bring us the small of bottled cat’s wee and cabbage in Penzions. But for now it is Mysterious Girl, a scent “inspired” by Peter’s song of that name.
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Demi Moore And Ashton Kutcher Twitter Bedroom Pictures
DAVID Beckham and Her Poshness could learn from Demi Moore, the Hollywood star embroiled in an allegation that her husband Ashton Kutcher has cheated on her with a Brittney Jones.
David Beckham’s Women – Alleged
Beckham goes for the lawyers and the cash in a bid to squash Irma Nici’s unproven claims that she shagged him. Moore and Kutcher Tweet a photo of themselves celebrating their anniversary in bed.
Thank you for all the anniversary wishes!! Enjoying a day lounging around watching “Breaking Bad” Great show
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Posted: 27th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Vivian Mackerrell Was Withnail In Withnail And I: Photos
VIVIAN Mackerrell was the inspiration for the character Withnail in the film Withnail and I. Mackerrell was a resting actor who once lived in Camden, London, with Withnail writer and director Bruce Robinson.
Mackerrell is to be the subject of a biography by Colin Bacon. He’s found some photos of his muse. Says he:
“For a time it looked like Vivian would do well. He got two or three good parts and there was certainly something about him.”
Mackerrell died of throat cancer aged 51. His final words before he died were:
“Give me a f*cking pre-med you f*ckers, I’m a personal friend of Sir Lancelot Spratt.”
Which he was…
Posted: 25th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Orange RockCorps Albert Hall Show Photos: Pendulum And Plan B Defy Cynics
WE went to the Orange RockCorps show at the Royal Albert Hall to see Ben Drew aka Plan B, Dappy and Tulisa of N-Dubz, Mark Ronson, Taio Cruz and Pendulum. The concerts defy cynicism. You can’t buy a ticket. You can’t win a ticket. You have to earn a ticket giving 4 hours to a charity. The grandstanding corporation wins. The charity wins. The bands win. And the fans win. We get the photos:
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Irma Nici’s Facebook Photos And Other Missing Crucial Details
IRMA Nici, the prostitute who says she had sex with David Beckham, has a website that charges 63p for every photo of her. The Daily Express says the site might be a “global money-making scam”.
Any facts? “Web expert” Tony Dyhouse from something called QinetiQ says:
“Of course there is the possibility that this website is genuine and that Ms Nici is cashing in as much as she can.”
Yep, That might be it. Or:
“But a lot could be hidden behind its facade, such as an organised crime ring, trying to get personal details from users.”
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Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
John Cleese Heads To Austria: Well, Where Else Do You Go When Humour Dies?
JOHN Cleese has finally turned into one of the arcane brigadiers he used to lampoon. So unfunny is Cleese that for years many wondered if it was all a joke on us. Can his haughty ex-pat be for real?
But where a can man who isn’t funny feel at home? The answer is Austria.
He’s in Austria, lamenting the UK’s fading class system. The British working class has all but vanished while an educated middle-class made good on hard work and ambition has swelled.
Says Cleese to Die Presse:
“England changed much more than I did. We used to have some sort of middle class culture with an adequate amount of respect for education. It was a bit racist – not in a mean way though, but still racist. Some things have changed to the better, but it’s not a middle class culture anymore, but a yob culture, a rowdy culture.”
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Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Irma Nici And David Beckham: Sex, Photos And ‘Lies’
DAVID Beckham has been “CAUGHT CHEATING” with a £10,000-a-night prostitute called Irma Nici, 26.
So alleges In Touch magazine. Also know that the prostitute says that looking at Victoria she can see why David would be “unhappy“.
The allegation harps back to Claridges hotel in 2007.
Says Irma, 26:
“It was a high. All of these women dream of being with him, and I got to hook up with him. It was very exciting.”
The sex, she claims, was “nothing freaky”. She says Day-vid used a lotion to masturbate himself:
“It was perfumed, so it kind of burned him!”
Oh, and he preferred it when Posh was fatter.
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Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chantelle Houghton And Sam Preston: The Sex, Marriage And Kids
CHANTELLE Houghton says she can’t wait to get married and have Sam Preston’s children. Only, they aren’t dating just yet. They were planning a second honeymoon, without the sex (unless it was on the phone).
And then there is Preston’s girlfriend.
Maybe they can all hook up on party line and have a threesome for the telly “sex war”?
Ever since Big Bother ended, and Chantelle and Preston shared a roof in a TV studio, the Daily Star and OK! have been pushing them together. It began with a “24 Hour LOVE IN”.
And Preston and Chantelle have been willing celebs. In this week’s OK! they each give an interview on their made-for-tabloid will they / won’t they romance and each other.
Pages of puff and balls can be distilled into:
Chantelle: “… I’m really confused about everything…. I wanted to meet up with Preston but we haven’t had a chance yet.”
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Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Leonard Skinner Inspiration For Lynyrd Skynyrd
HIGH school gym teacher and basketball coach Leonard Skinner died today in Jacksonville, Florida. He’s the guy who who inspired the name of the band Lynyrd Skynyrd, writes our man in LA.
He was 77 and had Alzheimer’s disease. He also outlived most of the band.
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Role Model Paul Danan Guilty Of Drugs And ‘Self Medicating’
MOVE over Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, Britain has its own celebrity drugs pillock in the shape of Paul Danan. The former Holyoaks actor was at Stevenage Magistrates Court in Hertfordshire to answer the charge that he had in his possession cocaine and cannabis.
Danan was arrested two days in a row last month after being found wandering around a street in Royston, Hertfordshire, in a drunken state. He also swore at police officers.
In court, Danan drew from the daytime telly glossary and says he has been “medicating myself” (therapy speak for getting twatted) for anxiety and depression.
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Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Joe McElderry’s Ambition Is Another Squeaky Cover Version
WITH the X Factory in full cry it’s time last year’s winner Joe McElderry had a song. So here it is. It’s a called Ambition. It’s a squeaky version of a song by Donkeyboy, which you most likely won’t have heard of. Joe’s Ambition seems to be to sing other people’s songs in a higher pitch then their original.
It’s not karaoke recorded in a studio. It’s a cover version, dummy.
The pop industry really is that cynical…
And before that:
Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: Music, Reviews | Comments (4)
Paris Hilton Gets Off On Getting Off: Photos
PARIS Hilton will not go to jail for having cocaine in her purse. Well done to her attorney David Chesnoff for helping Paris out of a bind. A fine of £1,300 and 200 hours community service is harsh for possessing 0.8 grams of a banned drug, but it’s better than a spell in jail. So Paris pleads guilty and takes the wrap. Says Chesnoff:
“I’m proud of how she’s dealt with this. I think she’s on the road to success and I wish her personally the best.”
Paris needs to look at her life anew. And not just down her top:
Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Naomi Campbell And Kate Moss Work Alexander McQueen’s Memorial Service At St Paul’s
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THEY came to say their goodbyes (again) to Alexander McQueen at a memorial service at St Paul’s Cathedral in central London. The A-list fashionistas were all there to produce what’s pretty much been the best show at London Fashion Week. We spotted: the equine Sarah Jessica Parker, the ever-bright Kate Moss (who says you can’t get off your face and still look good? Well, everyone apart from Moss), Bobby Gillespie, Anna Wintour (thin), Jefferson Hack (thinner), Daphne Guiness (how everyone hoped they weren’t sat behind her), Stella Tennant and Hilary Alexander, Fashion Director of the Daily Telegraph, wearing Diana’s Ross’ old hair…
Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
A Gallery Of Celebrities In Disguise – Can You Spot Gibson, Kardashian, Hilton And Britney?
WHEN Mel Gibson stepped out in a disguised of moustache and baseball cap he looked even more like Mel Gibson. Other famous faces have tried the trick of disguise. Michael Jackson took it too far by changing his actual face. Those who wanted to look like him were presented with a moving target. Other stars, like Paris Hilton, Pete Wentz, Dustin Hoffman, Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian and Diddy have all pulled on a disguise to ostensibly make themselves disappear, but all succeeded in standing out all the more. Of course, the celeb that manages to pull it off doesn’t get noticed. So hats off to Madonna and her Lady Gaga disguise…
Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Chantelle And Preston’s Made For TV Sex
CHANTELLE Houghton and Sam Preston are gearing up for a “TELLY SEX WAR” with Josie Gibson and John James Parton.
The Big Brother shag wars are front-page news on the Star, sister organ to Channel X and Red Hot TV. But rather than actual sex the couple’s respective reality TV shows will most likely feature lots of dry humping and watching skin dyes dry.
The Star says TV executives are “chomping at the bit” to sign the Big Brother stars for a show that will portray them as at it morning, noon and night.
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Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Ninja Vaginas Attack: Video
IN this scene from Female Ninjas: The Magic Chronicles, the heroine delivers Vagina Bubbles From Hell.
You think your vagina’s talented, Lady Gaga? Pah! You can’t handle a really talented nunny…
Via: Dangerous Minds
Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jim Rosenthal V Heston Blumenthal – Game On
WHEN Jim Rosenthal took Heston Blumenthal to court we perked up. Blumenthal V Rosenthal sounded like a decent bout in which unlikely celebrity pairings would fight to the death, or failing that a fair and just settlement in court.
Television presenter Jim Rosenthal puked up after a meal at Heston Blumenthal’s three-Michelin-starred Fat Duck restaurant – around 500 diners were poisoned – and wanted damages.
Hey, if you can’t trust a tyre company to point you towards good food, who can you trust?
Rosenthal lost the case. The judge says the compensation already paid was enough. But Rosenthal is less than satisfied. Rosenthal and his wife Chrissy each received £1,500 compensation for the unwanted afters and wanted a full refund of the £1,300 bill. They continue to pursue the legal action.
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Lady Hervey Finds Happiness In A Reburied Dad
LADY Victoria Hervey, eldest daughter of the 6th Marquess of Bristol and former is the subject of a Daily Mail hatchet job. And the indent on the front page of the paper’s website is choice…
Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chantelle And Preston’s Phone Sex Honeymoon
REMEMBER when Big Brother stars Chantelle Houghton and Sam Preston were off on a second honeymoon – they were so in love that Preston wasn’t even taking his American girlfriend on the trip?
The wedding is in the bag, so is the ITV2 fly-in-the-soap reality TV show and the kids’ books. Just sign here, kids. Only, there is trouble in paradise, as the Star reports:
“It’s no secret that Chantelle and Preston want to give it another go but their families are at war over the idea. Chantelle’s clan are right behind the plan but Preston’s folks can’t stomach the idea in the slightest. They’re dead against it.”
No secret? It’s so secret that even OK!, the Star’s sister publication isn’t sure about it, and neither is Preston. But – Think. Of. The. Money.
“It’s made getting together in person really difficult, so at the minute they are keeping in touch on the phone.”
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peaches Geldof Atones For Her Sins On Yom Kippur
PEACHES Geldof gets the Jew look to atone for her sins. She’s got the hat. She’s got the job…
Spotter: Chrissie Curry’s Twitter
Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kelly Osbourne Starts Twitter War With ‘Devil’ Dannii Minogue
KELLY Osbourne is doing her bit to promote Dannii Minogue’s new book by calling Kylie’s sister and the X Factor judge a “devil”; or De-viil, as will be rebranded.
Very soon we can expect Ozzy Osbourne, that self-styled Prince of Darkness and star of reality telly, to start wearing a likeness of Devil Danii about his throat.
Kelly has taken to Twitter to big up Dannii’s book by saying, and this without one shred of irony or sideways eyes at her own mum who invited cameras into the family home to watch her spoilt rehab-salved children:
“The best thing to happen to Dannii’s career was that my mother hated her she needs to shut her mouth and concentrate on motherhood!”
This is pixie-voiced Sharon Osbourne who responds to bad criticism by sending poo in envelopes to they who dare not to like her or her pisspoor telly shows:
“I must have a thing, not about shitting, but about sending it to people, and I’ve done it for an awfully long time.”
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
George Michael In Myra Hindley Hell Jail
GEORGE Michael is in jail and the Sun is determined to link his drugged driving with worse crimes.
Neil Syson follows his news that George Michael is gay and in jail with “paedophiles and rapists”, by telling readers:
SHAMED George Michael was secretly switched to a soft jail yesterday where Moors killer Myra Hindley was locked up.
So that’s paedos, rapists and child killers. And a singer so stoned he can’t work out that you can hire a taxi home.
It was Syson who earlier told us:
“The North London prison’s previous high-profile inmates include writer Oscar Wilde – jailed for homosexuality – and Michael’s fellow pop star Boy George, who was sent there for assaulting a mail escort he held captive”.
Just a few inmates picked at random, who both just happen to be gay. Syson has more news:
George Michael is currently staying at Highpoint Prison, Suffolk – “mainly with other middle-aged drug offenders at the end of their jail terms.”
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Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
In Photos: Russell Brand Arrested In LA
RUSSELL Brand has been arrested. Katy Perry, his lover, goes on Twitter:
“If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancé will do his job & protect me.”
That would this Katy Perry (NSFW)?
Or this one?
Poor Katy Perry. There she was trying to hold a coffee, her BlackBerry AND car-keys when a sudden gust of wind threatened to give everyone a flash of her scanties.
Our Man in LA reports:
And you thought Katy Perry had tamed bad boy Russell Brand.
Apparently not.
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Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jimi Hendrix’s Death Remembered In Cumberland Hotel Puke Suite (Photos)
JIMI Hendrix died 40 years ago tomorrow, so what better way to mark his premature passing in room 507 at the Samargkand Hotel on September 18th 1970 than by sticking a waxy statue of the man in a hotel room at London’s Cumberland Hotel and having housekeeper Miroslava Ryczko dust it?
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Says the press release of the – get this – Hendrix Suite:
The suite is designed to inspire its visitors from the instant they enter; to capture the ethos of Hendrix and ultimately be a sanctuary where Hendrix himself would have enjoyed spending time.
They must be kicking themselves over at the Samarkand, if they not choking on their own puke…
Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
