Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Rolling Stones Mascot Ronnie Wood Smokes Meringue And Destroys His Own Legend
RONNIE Wood says he once smoked a meringue. Food might not the drug you’d first associate with the Rolling Stones’ mascot, and he his tried to cover his tracks by saying that he thought it was crack cocaine.
Too late, Ronnie. You’ll be on Ready Steady Cook by his time next week and chatting about health and fat with Jamie Oliver.
Says Ronnie:
“It got to the point where I would be on my hands and knees looking for crumbs that might have fallen out of the crack pipe. I even banned my children eating meringues in the house after I ended up smoking sugar, believing it to be cocaine.”
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Posted: 12th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ricky Hatton And Kerry Katona: Separated At Birth?
RICKY Hatton. Is he related to Kerry Katona? Is Hatton Katona’s brother, separated at birth? Well, there’s a question.
And since you’re asking, and Hatton has been accused of embarking on a drugs and drink binge – and don’t forget those battles with weight – let’s take a look at the Hitman, accused of taking a hit or seven of cocaine, and the life of La Katona, face of supermarket ownbrand ketchup…
Posted: 12th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Justin Bieber Not Arrested And Koran Not Hit By Water Bomb: Video
JUSTIN Bieber has not been arrested. It’s a big day for no news. And following the news that Pastor Terry Jones did not burn a Koran on the day that remains International Burn a Koran Day, we learn that Justin Bieber was not arrested.
But you want to know what Bieber did not to get arrested for. Well, he lobbed a water balloon at a state trooper and hit him below the belt. Story goes that Bieber had been chucking water on people’s nether regions all day. Why? Well, when you’re so young and just moving out of pull ups you want to blend in.
So. Would Bieber’s show at the Maryland State Fair on Sunday be cancelled as the little one is admonished and sat on the naughty step? No. Everything is fine. He is not arrested.
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Posted: 11th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Wayne Rooney And Coleen Stop Boasting About Their Wonderful Lives To Ask For Privacy
WAYNE Rooney and Coleen Rooney, currently embroiled in claims that the Manchester United ace has shagged Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood (NSFW photos), have issued a joint statement in which they say the “last six days have been extremely painful for us and for our families“.
They then blame the media for adding to their pain:
“It is impossible for us, as it would be for any family, to attempt to resolve any issues in the current media glare and against the backdrop of so many inaccurate and intrusive stories.
“We would therefore ask that the media now respects our privacy and the right of our family to discuss these matters in private.”
Privacy? This would be the same Rooney family who appear on the cover of Hello! for Coleen to tell us in June 2010:
“I like surprises and sometimes Wayne will spring things on me, like he’ll say: ‘Come on, let’s got out for dinner – go and get ready’”
Chances are that Coleen does not like all surprises – just the good ones.
In other private moments:
* We’ve seen Wayne take a piss.
* Coleen has shown off six-bedroom home in Barbados in a Hello! boast card:
“People often come up and say, ‘You’re just so normal’.”
* Coleen has told us that baby Kai is “not a crier”
* Coleen has told us that she walks on a gym machines
“You should let babies be babies and just put them in babygros.”
* Coleen told us: “I actually need to start going again because my wardrobe’s getting a bit empty.”
“I do have quite a big wardrobe”
* Wayne told us that he likes to read Harry Potter books
* Coleen has told us about her shopping habits:
“If I really like something I will buy it.”
* Coleen has been apparently airbrushed to flog her perfume
* Coleen has invited Hello! readers to her 21st birthday party
* Coleen has “Porridge with soya milk and fresh raspberries for breakfast”
So. Having traded on the image of a wonderful life the call is now for privacy…
Women linked to Wayne Rooney
Posted: 11th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Musical Interlude: For All The Hipster Grifters And Other Dickheads
TODAY’S musical interlude goes out to all the hipster grifters out there.
It’s new age fun with a vintage feel.
never bought a pack of fags i only roll my own
plugging in my laptop at the starbucks down the road
say i work in media im really on the dole
im the coolest guy you’ll ever know
woah ho
Lyrics are NSFW:
Daniel Radcliffe For Lizzie Mary Cullen For The Big Issue – In Photos
WE went to see Daniel Radcliffe at the Lizzie Mary Cullen art show. Well, in truth we went to see Lizzie, but we needed an excuse to hang about with her and the Harry Potter star was it. The talented artist aims to raise £10,000 for the Big Issue Foundation, at the Framers Gallery in London…
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Posted: 9th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Is Lou Reed’s Snub The Start Of The Susan Boyle Backlash?
LOU Reed helps the Susan Boyle backlash by banning the Hairy Angel from singing Perfect Day. Because he “didn’t like” her.
Scheduled to warble the song on America’s Got Talent, she had to retrain the reality TV show staple that is Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.
Insiders reportedly claimed that the former Velvet Underground frontman refused to let SuBo sing the song because he “didn’t like” her.
An “insider” tells us:
“Susan was devastated. Basically the message came through was that Lou just didn’t like her.”
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Posted: 9th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (33)
Auschwitz Is Now A Video Game Film: Video
UWE Boll is creating a film about Auschwitz. The film will be treated in his usual sensitive manner, as you can see from the clip below.
Boll is best known for making terrible film based on video games. Auschwitz was not a video game, but given Boll’s treatment it might have been.
The trailer features Boll dressed as a Nazi nodding off as the dying scream and hammer on the metal door behind him.
(Article continues after these memorable pictures of the death camp.)
Says he:
“I made the movie because there is not one movie made what shows the Holocaust really was — a killing factory.”
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Posted: 9th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Jedward Met Tony Blair
AND so it came to pass that Tony Blair got to keep the company he deserves when he met Jedward.
Tony was scheduled to plug his book on the The Late, Late Show in Dublin last Friday.
Wonder what Tony sees in Jedward?
Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Big Brother’s Josie Gibson And John James Sign Six Months’ Contract
JOSIE Gibson and John James Parton are talking about their love (for one another) in OK!.
There they are on the cover, lying back on a bed of straw, the Frank Spencer look-alike (him) and Cider With Josie (her) cup hands. His eyes are closed in beatific ecstasy.
This is Josie who said on leaving the Ultimate Big Brother camp:
“I’m normal, I’m not a celebrity, I’m not like that.”
Here she is telling us that sex with John James is “really good”.
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Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
GQ Men Of The Year Awards Are All About The Women (In Photos)
THE GQ Men of The Year Awards are about one thing: women. Marc Ronson’s hair shone like a big ear bud (used). JLS would have looked good had it not been for member Ortise Williams confusing the do with a school disco. And Top Shop boss Sir Phillip Green looked like he’d been pured into Wyatt Earp’s clothes and forgotten to say “when”; and Mad Men’s Jon Hamm oozed. They tried to grab the limelight. But the women won.
Daisy Lowe had loegs; Gemma Arterton had legs; Lilly Allen hid her legs beneath a pregnancy burqa; and Holly Valance gave hope to millions of fit birds worried that they may never find a shorter man with lots of money to love…
The Winners:
The Red Carpet:
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Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Pregnant Lily Allen Inspires The Tamara Drew Sequel? Pictures
WE spotted Gemma Arterton, arriving for the UK premiere of Tamara Drewe, the film version of Posy Simmons’ knowing graphic book and Guardian comic strips set on a writers’ retreat for pretentious shits, narcissists and adulterers.
They all who want to shag Tamara. It’s tupping season in the county and Tamara is the needy prize sow.
But at the premier Arterton she was upstaged by Lily Allen. The urban singer is pregnant. Allen recently moved from London to the Cotswolds.
Thanks to Allen, Simmons’ satire might yet get new shot of life…
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Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Inspiring Cate Blanchett On The Death Of The Likable Australian
CATE Blanchett is in conversation with Mindfood magazine. Pay attention.
Blanchett said she initially tried to shield her boys, Dashiell, 8, Roman, 6, and Ignatius, 2, from her work:
”It’s a very, very difficult job to do with children, and I think in our first year we were trying to quarantine them from what we do so their lives were hermetically sealed and they didn’t feel the impact of our work.”
The three children are now adjusting to the magnitude of mum and dad. As Cate says:
”We’re there to inspire and provoke – that’s our job.”
Adding:
”It’s in the mind of the artist the future is imagined. You say that loudly in this country, and you sound pretentious but it is, in fact, true …”
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Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
ELO’s Mike Edwards (Killed By Falling Hay) Introduces The Weirdest Pop Star Deaths
THE weirdest pop star deaths is introduced by Mike Edwards, formerly of the Electric Light Orchestra, died when a 94kg bale of hale fell on his white Transit can as he drove along the A381 in Devon.
He was indentified by photos and video of his work with the band on YouTube.
The bale of hay is believed to have been moved by a tractor. It then rolled down hill and vaulted a 15ft hedge.
Mr Edwards adds his name to these weird pop star deaths:
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Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
1970s ELO Rock Star Killed By Falling Bale Of Hay
ROCK ‘n’ Roll Death of the day is that of Mike Edwards, former cello player with the Electric Light Orchestra, who died instantly when a hay bale landed on his van.
The cylindrical hay bale had rolled down a hill and picked up enough momentum to fly over a 15ft hedge.
It struck Mr Edwards’ white Transit van on the A381 near Kingsbridge, South Devon.
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Photos Of Eva Longoria Flogging Her Perfume Cordial
EVA Longoria Parker, star of US telly show Desperate Housewives was in The Perfume Shop in Westfield, west London, to launch her new fragrance ‘Eva’. For reasons unspecified, Eva is served in a bottle shaped to look like a pink spark plug.
Why not a nose leaning over a garden fence, a net curtain moved aside in a window or a notched bedpost? Opportunities have been missed.
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Posted: 5th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole’s New ‘Loverbird’ Tramp Stamp Tattoo Is All Over For Derek Hough
CHERLY Cole has “dumps” Derek Hough. So says The People on its front page.
The Mirror tells its readers:
Days after her divorce from love-rat footballer Ashley Cole, the Girls Aloud star is ready to go public about her feelings for US dancer Derek…
But over in the Star, the news is that Cheryl has got new tattoo on her lower back – “to signify life without Ashley.”
Given that the back of her neck says “Mrs Cole”, might Chezza’s new ink be an arrow that says “ignore the above?” But does she have a new tattoo, right? Cheryl has recently recovered from malaria – would going under the a tattooist’s needle be wise?
At leasy we can be sure that Derek and Cheryl are no more, right? Or as the Star says:
CHERYL Cole and hunky dancer Derek Hough are set to seal their romance with a tattoo of a pair of lovebirds.
Such are the tabloid facts…
Posted: 5th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Heidi Montag Fears Falling Off Her Nose: Photos
HEIDI Montag does not want her nose to fall off.
She tells Life & Style:
“I don’t want my nose to fall off like Michael Jackson!”
Michael Jackson fell off? The man who made a career out of leaning very far forwards never fell off. Did he?
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Posted: 3rd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Photos Of Yoko Ono’s Living Exhibit Visit To John Lennon’s Liverpool
YOKO Ono spent a part of today sat in the front room of John Lennon’s former home in Mendips, Liverpool, as a kind of living exhibit. Lennon lived in the house with his Aunt Mimi and Uncle George from 1945-1963. He’s dead now. But Yoko lives.
Beatles Wives And Girfriends – gallery
She called in to the house after meeting Sure Start members at John’s old school, Dovedale School. The kids waved and cheered. Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh! They’ve no idea who the weird old lady is but she got them time off class! Cheers, John!
But how to get the nippers back inside the classroom? Yoko… How about a song?
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Posted: 3rd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Robert Plant’s Band Of Joy Shame Troy Polamalu: Photos
WE went to see Led Zeppelin frontman and his hair – look, Troy Polamalu – big curls with no safety net! – Robert Plant and the Band of Joy perform at The Forum in Highgate, north London. He rocks. He rolls. And the hair works its magic…
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Does Paris Hilton’s ‘Cocaine Purse’ On Twitter Prove Her Guilt?
PARIS Hilton says the purse in which, allegedly, cocaine was found was not hers. It was cheap. And she is not cheap (see production values on porn vid). But does the purse she was seen with at the time of her latest arrest look like the one she showed fans on Twitter Pic back in July 2010?
Has Paris been busted on Twitter?
Posted: 3rd, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Backstage At The Eels Brixton Gig With The Stig
EELS frontman Mark Oliver Everett performing at the Brixton Academy in south London. Everett is also known as The Stig…
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Posted: 2nd, September 2010 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Video: Guns ‘n’ Roses Bottled Off Stage In Dublin – Justin Bieber Wins
GUN’S ‘n’ Roses threw a hissy fit in Dublin and walked off the stage.
They are no Justin Bieber, who was hit by a bottle while performing and carried on.
After a big break, during which lots of punters had left, the band came back on.
Which act is the most rock ‘n’ roll, readers?
Bieber!
Posted: 2nd, September 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
JLS Book Signing Stampede In Photos
JLS have never declared war on anyone – to the best of our knowledge. But they still managed to cause a commotion as the lads signed copies of their new book, Just Between Us: A Private Diary. Outside Selfridges in London an ambulance stood by. No, not to take away Tony Blair, that failed pop star for whom no-one weeps for joy. The van was there to help the swooning victims of Jonathan ‘JB’ Gill, Marvin Humes, Ortise Williams and Aston Merrygold of JLS. As they say at the JLS stampede, “Tony who..?”
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Posted: 1st, September 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Kerry Katona And Peter Andre’s Future Love
TIME for an update on that Peter Andre – Kerry Katona love story being played out in the pages of the Daily Star.
Today we learn that Kerry’s “future Mister right” has the initial P in this name and is from the “showbiz world”.
P… Peter Doherty..? Pinocchio..? Preston from Big Brother..?
It can’t be Peter Andre, whose people instructed the Star to inform its readers back in April: “They have both informed us that this is completely untrue.”
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Posted: 1st, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
