Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The True Story of Kerry Katona and Peter Andre’s Love ‘Romance’
KATIE Price and Peter Andre have announced a “HOT DATE”. Well, so says the Star. Katona and Andre have history of romance in the Star:
March: “KERRY’S SECRET NIGHT WITH ANDRE” (Star)
We were told:
KERRY Katona has enjoyed a second night with the latest man in her life – hunky Peter Andre.
Love was brewing as two of Can Associates’ clients met by office lights…
Katie Price career in pictures (NSFW)
APRIL: “YES WE LOVE EACH OTHER”.
So announced the Star’s headline. And we were thrilled. The romance moved on apace:
“KERRY & PETE’S SECRET LOVE NEST REVEALED”.
Know that:
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Posted: 20th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie ‘Betrays’ And ‘Makes A Fool’ Of Maddox
ANGELINA Jolie’s dressing of her daughter Shiloh in surf pants and other Montenegro-style clothing is set aside for a new heated debate on how her dressing as a man will destroy her nine-year-old son Maddox.
The story goes that Jolie dressed as a man for a scene in her Salt film and then invited Maddox on set,.
“I invited him to come say ‘hi’ to me and I didn’t tell him who it was. So he came down, he shook my hand and he hung out with me for a while and then I said ‘Mad?’ and he went ‘Aaaaagh! Muuum!’ and he totally freaked out.”
And he ran all the way to Jennifer Aniston?
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Posted: 18th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre’s Gay Dyke Mystery Woman
POP acorn Peter Andre is the subject of the Daily Star’s story:
PETER ANDRE’S GAY TV BLUNDER: HE FANCIES FELLA!
This story is brought to you by Peter Dyke.
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Posted: 18th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price’s Pregnancy News Shocker In Pictures
THE Daily Star has front-page news of “JORDAN BABY JOY”. This news is equipped with a pictureof Katie Price, for it is she, wearing a loose-fitting top and another shot of she and Alex Reid beaming for joy.
The Star had the same headline on April 3, 2010. Emma Wall told of:
Jordan Baby Joy
On the web, this is “Jordan’s new baby joy”.
Jessica Brown with Sonja Steven have news in a “World Exclusive”:
KATIE Price has been harping on about how she’s desperate to get pregnant.
And from the look of it her dreams have been answered.
She’s given birth?
The normally slender model had a distinct belly bulge as she walked around London yesterday with her midriff on show.
And this is big news because:
A photographer said: “Kate is very proud of her slim body and never lets her stomach hang out in public…”
Except when demure Katie’s wearing a bikini to flog a book, getting it out on the beach or dry humping a camera on her fly-in-the-soap dish telly shows.
So. She’s not had a baby. And she’s not pregnant.
In other world exclusive news, we can reveal that it might be twins…
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
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Posted: 18th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (10)
Photos Prove Kerry Katona Trumps Angelina Jolie At Salt Premiere
ANGELINA Jolie walked the blue carpet for the UK premiere of Salt at the Empire, Leicester Square, London. Jolie looked well, not as good as Kerry Katona, who arrived looking like she had brushed her hair, put on a thick coating of slap and strapped on some decently tight underwear. This is what stars do when they want to shine – they shine…
Angelina Jolie pictures are (NSFW)
Kerry Katona photos are (NSFW)
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Posted: 16th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Christina Hendricks Goes Green For GQ: In Pictures
CHRISTINA Hendricks Goes Green For GQ: In Pictures. Ladies, pay attention. This is your role model. And thanks to this photoshoot, Hendricks is also a role model for the little green women of the planet Zorg…
More at Stylebrity
Posted: 16th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
What Really Happened At Madonna’s Birthday Party – Photos
MADONNA turns 52 today. And you all want to know what her party at Shoreditch House was like, don’t you?
The Sun says Madge has a “lot of fun partying”…
It was a great do with a “host of celebs”.
The Mirror says the “D-listers… ‘partied’ in near silence”. The paper terms the mood “funereal”. It spots “nervy guests” enduring “flagging spirits”….
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Posted: 16th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
All The News On Abbey Clancy’s Ring, ‘Monster’ Peter Crouch And Nurse Sex
ABBEY Clancy’s ring is off her finger again. Her Spurs and England lover Peter Crouch’s alleged roast with saucy Monica Mint continues to set the news agenda.
The Sun says Clancy is not wearing her engagement ring, scotching earlier reports that she was wearing her ring. This may be because: she is awaiting a new ring, which should be huge and visible from the cheap seats; her fingers have swollen to a size zero; or else she lost it inside a stuffed chicken.
Peter Crouch – the Clockwork Years
The Star lads with news of Abbey’s “FURY AT SEX PEST PICS”.
What? Abbey is sex pest? No, this is Peter Crouch, who has yet to kiss and tell. The shocker is in light of the News of The World’s story;
Pretty nurse tells how love rat drooled as he rubbed her back and thigh
Good job it’s a “pretty nurse” and not a ugly shelf stacker telling us of Crouch’s “night of disgrace in upmarket Juan-les-Pins”. Clancy had jetted back to the UK for work, breaking up their romantic holiday. And the allegation is that Peter was out on his own.
One woman who escaped Crouch’s clutches told us: “He was on his own for a matter of hours but in that time behaved like a sex pest.
How did she escape Peter’s “clutches”?
But it all proved too much for the England star and, as the woman lost interest, he stretched out on a leather chair in a quiet part of the club…
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Posted: 16th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Photos Of Madonna’s Birthday Party At 52
MADONNA turns 52 today. Well, most of her does. She held her birthday party at Shoreditch House in east London. Up they went to the top floor, all the way to the swimming pool. It’s heated. But, sadly, the rain wasn’t. Also at this do were Madonna’s thirteen year old daughter Lourdes, mum’s boyfriend Jesus Luz, Paul Whitehouse and Claudia Winkleman. We stood outside and took photos. It was bitter. No, not us. The weather. Sheesh…
Posted: 15th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole’s Anti-Malaria Crusade And Tick For Ashley
CHERYL Cole is heading back to Africa on a Malaria “CRUSADE”. As Britons bask in the rain and dodge wasps, the Mirror reminds us that Africa is worse off. But African can be saved.
Cheryl Cole has “survived malaria”. And now she is on a “CRUSADE”.
Saintly Cheryl has declared holy war on godless mosquitoes.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage (in photos)
And so it is that a married woman who went on a jolly with her alleged lover
will save Africa from the disease with a missionary zeal. (OK – grandstanding is all well and good if lives are improved.)
She will go to Uganda just as soon as the X Factor telly show is finished.
So much for the mosquito. But what celebrity will stand up for the misunderstood creature whose lot it is to carry the eukaryotic protest bug? Perhaps H from Steps or Euan Blair?
And what about the tick? You know… What about Ashley Cole?
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Posted: 14th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Vintage At Goodwood Is Nostalgia Fest In Pictures
THE VINTAGE at Goodwood, West Sussex, is a new annual “music and fashion led celebration of creative British cool from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s & 80s,”. Yep, it’s Nostalgia Fest, with the Memory Lane tent and the Do You Remember..? stage.
The press release advises us to:
Think of Vintage at Goodwood as the new annual Festival of Britain.
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Abbey Clancy And Peter Crouch And A ‘Mint Moment’ In Waitrose
PETER Crouch and Abbey Clancy have been in a “showdown” on “eve of the season”. A prostitute called Monica Mint says she shagged Crouch in Madrid.
The Mirror trials with the big Clancy-Crouch summit chat. Or as the Star puts it on its front page:
“Abbey’s back in Peter’s arms”
This news is equipped with an old photo of Abbey and Crouchy getting off with beach other in a car – what we call a ‘Mint Moment’.
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Posted: 14th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Toneeta Beckford Is Rav Wilding’s Facebook Beauty
ONCE more we bring you the vision of English rosiness that is Toneeta Beckford, the “would-be model” appearing in Wolverhampton Crown Court on a charge of harassing celebrity copper Rav Wilding on Twitter and Facebook. An earlier custodial sentence imposed on the “would-be model” was quashed.
We saw Beckford, 24, sashay up to court in clip-on hair, attack leggings and a model pose that said “chicken and chips twice – to go!”
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Posted: 13th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Fiona Bruce, The Rada Stalker And News Of The Tautological
FIONA Bruce, the BBC newsreader who despite appearing sat on her arse on the telly still won Rear of The Year, is the victim of a stalker. She is also the subject of News of the Tautological.
Get a load of these front-page headlines:
“TV Fiona and the stalker who won’t go away” – Daily Mail
If he went away would he still be a stalker? Discuss.
“Weirdo stalker ‘hell’ of Fiona Bruce” – Daily Express
Where is a normal stalker when you need one?
As for the news, we travel to Basildon Crown Court in Essex, where “weirdo” Peter Oakey is up before the judge for breaching a 2008 restraining order banning him from any contact with Bruce.
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Posted: 13th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Bulldog Bash 2010 In Pictures
GRAB your helmet band head to the annual Bulldog Bash at Long Marston, near Stratford-upon-Avon in Warwickshire, a four-day event billed as ‘Europe’s biggest bikers’ party’. Bands include Nashville Pussy, The Mods, Aynt Skynyrd, Imicus, Gentlemen of Distorted Sound, Blazy Bayley, Breed 77, The Hamsters, Andy Sharrocks & The Smokin Jackets, The Groundhog, Emily Breeze, Eddie Martin Band, John E Vistic, Gypsy Pistoleros and the Brothers Grimm. Entertainment includes wrestling, a fair ground and a quarter-mile drag racing strip…
Lastly, what’s in the coffin – and does it need a ticket (picture 4)?
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Can George Michael Escape The Tabloid Loop As He Is Busted For Bad Driving Again?
CAN George Michael escape the tabloid loop he finds himself in. Is his short-term memory so shot that he must continually get arrested for possession of cannabis and driving while under the influence of drink or drugs to remind himself what he was doing the day before? Will he ever work out what Andrew Ridgeley did in Wham!?
George has been pinched for navigating his £80,000 Range Rover into a Snappy Snaps photography shop in Hampstead, north London, as he made his way home from the Gay Pride parade.
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Posted: 12th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Abbey Clancy’s Post-Crouch Recovery Bikini And SDTs
ABBEY Clancy is wearing her bikini recovery kit on the cover of the Star as she considers her options in Majorca. Peter Crouch is said to have cheated on her Monica Mint, a 19-year-old Angerian prostitute working out of Madrid.
And now there is more bad news for Abbey. The Star tells of:
“NEW SEX CHEAT SHOCK FOR ABBEY”.
This is a “double betrayal”.
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Posted: 12th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Robbie Williams And Anya Field Wedding Pictures: The Cake, The Onion And The Maltipoo
ROBBIE Williams has married Ayda Field and Anorak has bought a copy of Hello! to tell you what’s inside the “WORLD EXCLUSIVE”.
And you are all invited to the “secret fairytale wedding” and “laughter-filled celebration”. The 60-odd guests have been invited to a James Bond-style casino party. Only, it is to be the wedding. Behind the casino façade is a world of vows, dogs in flowery collars and a wedding planner’s work.
The Bride & Dress
We first see Ayda sat in a garter and bustier on a chaise longue. She is holding her “best friend” Poupette, her white maltipoo dog. Ayda wants us to see her shoes:
“They’re Christian Louboutin and I’ve got a sparkly pair of Louboutins to change into for the evening.”
The gown is by Monique Lhuillier, with netted silk, taffeta skirt and laced, beaded corset.
The Bedroom
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Posted: 12th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
The Faces Reunion Gig In Pictures: Wood, Matlock And Hucknall Rock (Gently)
THE FACES Reunion in Photos: Simply Red singer Mick Hucknall replaced Rod Stewart as the lead singer of the reformed Faces. Also on stage was Glen Matlock (of the Sex Pistols – pictures of them) and Ronnie Wood doing an impression of a marionette hand-carved by a man with a grudge. This was an American Express gig at the British Music Experience to kick off their reunion tour. The pictures are great:
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Jennifer Aniston ‘Dates’ Turkey Baster As The Switch Hits The PR Machine
NO sooner have we seen Jennifer Aniston’s nipple (see gallery at foot of page), then she tells us that her nipples might be old and shaped like Angelina’s Jolie’s Circle Of Trust but they will feed the babies. Aniston is the star of The Switch, a film in which a middle-aged woman with nice hair and a turkey baster has a child without a father.
Aniston is usually romantically linked to her co-stars so watch out for her being goosed by a huge syringe and canoodling on beach with a Petri Dish.
For more on that read here.
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Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ricky Whittle Dances Out Of Liverpool Crown Court In Photos
RICKY Whittle is… employable! And innocent! The pro-celebrity hoofer did not deliberately knock down a photographer called Stephen Farrell.
(Celebrity plus paparazzo equals news story.)
Whittle did not use his American Dodge pick-up as a weapon – which is ironic given that the car makes the owner look like one.
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Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Backstage Photos With The Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo
WE went backstage to see The Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (The TROCKS) during rehearsals ahead of their upcoming performances at London’s Peacock Theatre. The parodic male dance ensemble will show you that men can do it all with daintiness, humour and Times scribe Tim Teeman stradling their shoulders like an adolescent jockey…
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Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Big Chill, Wanky Balls And Other Wikipedia News In The Indepedent
THE Big Chill Festival began life as the Wanky Balls festival in North London, possibly in a teenager’s draughty bedroom. Kat Arney spots this gem of news in the Independent on Saturday and notes that the story is rooted in bit of bollocks on Wikipedia.
The Top 20 Children On Album Covers, A Wikipedia Special
Looks like someone’s been having a bit of childish fun editing the page – and also that someone at the Independent should check their facts a bit better.
Well, so it says on the web…
Click the image lots to make it bigger
via: NTTWA
Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Music | Comments (6)
Abbey Clancy’s Break-Up Bikini Photos Are Mint
ABBEY Clancy and Peter Crouch are “ALL OVER”. The Star says it knows the engagement is over because “Abbey’s clothes were stacked in the hallway” of the couple’s home.
A caller spots “neatly packed boxes and bags”.
Abbey Clancy is a WAG involved in TV fashion work. It’s not hard to imagine that loadsa bags and boxes by the door is pretty much the norm.
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Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Naomi Campbell’s Tabloid Trial Day 5: Nelson’s Friends And The Up Do
THE tabloid trial of Naomi Campbell continues: Day 5. To recap: Campbell is so attractive that a Milk Tray man delivers her diamonds in the dead of night. Is the mystery caller Liberian despot Charles Taylor, accused in the Hague of fomenting war, rape, murder, slavery and trading diamonds for it? Mia Farrow says “yes”. Having seen Woody Allen naked, Farrow is afraid of nothing.
Campbell has yet to get a gift of plutonium from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – but the dinner party circuit can be unpredictable.
Now read on…
Says Campbell:
“I’ve no motive here. Nothing to gain. I am a black woman who has and will always support good causes especially relating to Africa.”
Charles Taylor is a black man. Skin tones might not be the best defence.
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Posted: 10th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
