Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Did Perez Hilton Make Sinful Appearance At Kerrang Awards? Pictures
WAS that Perez Hilton, the celebrity blogger gone native, portraying “GREED” at the Kerrang Awards seven deadly sins-themed pre-do drinks at The Brewery in East London..?
We’ve got all the pictures:
See the winners and losers here.
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Posted: 30th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The 2010 Kerrang Awards In Pictures: Bullet For My Valentine Win Big
THE 2010 Kerrang Awards at the Brewery in East London and pre-do drinks in pictures. Welsh outfit Bullet For My Valentine were named the best British act and the best live band. Jared Leto’s 30 Seconds To Mars were best international band. And The Kerrang! Hall Of Fame Award went to Motley Crue, represented by Vince Neil’s hair:
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Bands featured: Funeral For A Friend, Joel and Benji Madden of Good Charlotte, Feeder, Sarah Cawood,Tim Minchin, Rammstein, Project A, Corey Taylor of Slipknot in Laura Ashley tie-backs, Polly Rae, Lostprophets, Biffy Clyro, Skunk Anansi, Vince Neil of Motley Crue, Bullet For My Valentine, Laura Whitmore, Trash Talk and Deaf Havana.
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (2)
George Clooney’s Waxwork Lights Up The Wet Room: Pictures
THE new George Clooney waxwork at Madame Tussauds in London was supposed to be the central plank of a photo shoot featuring a bevy of women looking amorously at the hairy candle. Instead it turned into a weird display of freakish emoting as the women – a mob of staff and visitors – mop their eyes and look at Clooney with a mixture of boredom and pity. One groper wears widow’s weeds as if she has news of Clooney’s demise. Clooney remains unmoved. But with a decent match he may light up the room yet…
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Tiger Woods’ Porno Shag Devon James Met Dustin Diamond: Sodom Revisited
JUST when you thought things couldn’t get worse for Saved by the Bell flunky Dustin “Screech” Diamond, the loser manages to go another notch lower on the ladder that is life-after-fame, writes Anorak’s Man in LA.
When legitimate producers stopped calling, his homemade porn tape bombed and his tell-all book didn’t top the Times bestseller list, he had to do something to keep his name out there.
That “something” turns out to be an evening as the “special referee” at something called the Celebrity “Big Bang” Wrestling match tonight in Philadelphia.
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Titanic 2 Is The True Story Of Nazi Snakes On A Boat
TITANIC II will see holidaymakers take a ride on the same boat, at the same time and hit the same iceberg that killed so many 100 years before.
Only this time the boat is full of German Nazi snakes that can turn into Taliban mercenaries when dipped in cold water after midnight.
Yep – it IS just like the actual sinking of the about all those years ago.
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Katie Price Paradise Is a Pop-Up Book: Pictures
KATIE Price is the literary tour de force in black body, brown legs and deep mahogany face plugging her new pop-up book Paradise (A tribute to Bedford’s number 1 venue for fans of erotic dancing – John Milton). Few pictures of Geoffrey Chaucer exist but it is know that he too favoured felt-tip eyebrows, hair that can be used to fish for sea trout and skin dye the Wife of Bath was unable to get off her U-bend no matter how much she scrubbed…
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (12)
Cheryl Cole Nursed By ‘The Hoff’
DEREK Hough – pronounced not “Ho” but Hoff as in The Hoff – has moved in with Cheryl Cole, that “nation’s sweetheart” married to Ashley Cole.
The Sun says of Chezza and the man who looks like Antony Armstrong Jones in Noel Edmonds’ hair:
“Pal Derek ‘to nurse’ ill Cheryl”
Cheryl is making malaria this season’s most talked about disease. And the Sun says Derek will “nurse” her.
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Posted: 28th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lincoln Savage And The Greatest BBC Lincolnshire Hip-Hop Story Ever
LINCOLN Savage, aka Linc, is, says the BBC website, “fast becoming the leading exponent of hip-hop in Lincolnshire.”
Is that the greatest line ever written in music press? CANorak, Anorak’s music mag, thinks it might be.
You can hear Linc on “BBC Lincolnshire Introducing but also on 6 Music’s Huw Stephen’s show”.
Six Music was in line to be canned not so long ago in what turned out to be Whispa experiment in PR.
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Paris Hilton Introduces More Comedy Nazis And The Hitler Dance
THE Daily Star leads with a picture of Paris Hilton and her “Nazi salute shame”.
This is the same paper owned by Richard Desmond who once in a meeting with the Daily Telegraph’s hierarchy, reportedly, called all Germans “Nazis”, told his executives to sing “Deutschland uber Alles” and “strutted up and down the room holding his fingers to his lips and giving stiff-armed salutes”.
Lithuania Labels Exported Food With Official Swastika – Marketing Fail
Back, then, to Hilton’s “shame”. Paris denies making the Nazi salute. She is not ordinary tourist in Berlin, pointing out something up there and wiping a finger beneath her hooter.
For starters, Hilton has been in St Tropez, which hasn’t been German for decades. And it’s all innocent.
In Pictures: The Top Ten Comedy Nazis
Says her spokesman:
“Paris was dancing and having fun with her arm up in the air as she always dances like that and was scratching [her] face when a photo was taken.”
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Posted: 27th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Woman 2010 In Pictures: Gil Scott-Heron’s On The Telly
THE WOMAD music festival featured Gil Scott-Heron, Ozomatli, Cerys Matthews and Rolf Harris flexing a piece of cardboard. The late Charlie Gillett got a stage dedicated to him. And we took photos of Heron’s revolution that will be televised because 24 hour rolling news demands it and the folks at home like to watch…
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Cheryl Cole And Ashley Cole Reunite: All The Facts And Photos
ASHLEY Cole has not met with malaria-infested Cheryl Cole. The NoTW’s Dan Wootton and James Desborough have “exclusive” news.
A source tells us that Ashley wants to meet Chelsy but only if she ditches Derek Hough:
“The simple fact is Cheryl doesn’t want to see Ashley. Given everything she’s been through it just wouldn’t be a good idea…
“She’s still incredibly fragile and doesn’t need that sort of potentially traumatic experience.”
The suggestion seems to be that Ashley Cole’s presence might make Cheryl feel worse and induce a set back in her recovery.
Ashley Cole is toxic!
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Posted: 25th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Palestinian Music Fans Ban Bony M’s Rivers Of Babylon
TO Ramallah, where Bony M are being refused the right to play one of their biggest hits. Take them away to captivity:
When the iconic 1970s disco group Boney M rocked Ramallah this week, the local music festival prevented the band from performing one of its biggest hits.
Lead singer Maizie Williams said Palestinian concert organizers told her not to sing “Rivers of Babylon.” The song’s chorus quotes from the Book of Psalms, referring to the exiled Jewish people’s yearning to return to the biblical land of Israel.
Palestinians often question the Jewish historical connection to the Holy Land. Organizers said they asked for the song to be skipped, deeming it “inappropriate.”
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The Celebrity Mugshot Gallery Because You’re Not Dead Yet: Pictures
ZSA Zsa Gabor, born Sári Gábor, is in ailing health. The media loves a newly dead or ill star – almost as much it loves them being arrested. A great time, then, to look back at her celebrity mugshot. She was once pinched for slapping a policeman. The crime earned her three days in jail and chance to be famous for something other than being married nine times and appearing in such straight-to-bucket films as A Very Brady Sequel. Gabor enjoyed the fame resulting from her arrest. And other celebs, too, arguably, have had their careers improved by a spell with the police force. In this gallery you will see mughsots of such famous drunks, tossers, druggies, accused felons and fame whores as Lindsay Lohan, Hugh Grant, Al Pacino, Jane Fonda. Nick Nolte, Gary Coleman, Mel Gibson and Snoop Dogg. You don’t need to get arrested to remind Hollywood agents that you’re still alive and newsworthy – but it might help…
Posted: 24th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Catherine Zeta Jones And Michael Douglas Do Cardiff’s Children’s Hospital: Pictures
SO. There were Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas at the Children’s Hospital for Wales in Cardiff. All the nippers were happy to see Douglas and Whatshername. The kids are big fans.
The film star couple appealed for donations to help complete the next stage of work four years after they officially opened the hospital.
Good of them to give time and effort to promote a good cause. The grandstanding, vanity and aggrandizing are there, but if people’s lives can be helped by something as vapid as fame, then so be it. We can argue the rights and wrongs another time…
Also, Zeta Jones’ face (40) is such that she looks younger and a dead rigner for Big Brother strumpet Imogen Thomas (27). Best take care, Michael Douglas. Ask for names and proof of ID.
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Posted: 23rd, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Earth Wind And Fire Play London
WE went to see Earth, Wind and Fire perform live at London’s 02 arena. Half expecting Mulch, Gas and Burning Sensation When I Urinate, we were pleasantly surprised to see the rockers rocking – in good way…
Cameron Diaz Brings Tom Cruise To Heel At Knight & Day Premiere: Pictures
TOM Cruise placed a ladder in his heels and stood next to Cameron Diaz at the premiere of film Knight & Day. We took pictures. For all his creepy Scientology spouting and mind-powered daughter Suri, Cruise remains the best film actor of his generation. What makes him the star is something he no doubt has asked himself. If thinks his religion or his platform shoes are the secrets to his success, then so be it. As for Diaz… Well, she wore heels…
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Posted: 23rd, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Why Aren’t Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Divorcing, Ask NoTW And Enquirer?
AND so it came to pass that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did slay the News of the World. Back in January, the paper told readers that Jolie and Pitt were going to their separate orphanages in a divorce that would see world split and heavens divided.
We called it as nonsense. The happy couple laughed it off. Who cares what other people think when you have love?
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures
“Pitts Over,” said the NoTW. And it is. The story was wrong. News Corp will pay damages to Jolie and Pitt. All monies will be donated to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jennifer Aniston’s ‘Non-Perfume’ Perfume Is Jolie Vanishing Cream: In Pictures
JENNIFER Aniston was at Harrod’s to set up a card table and launch her new signature scent, Lolavie (translation: “Why doesn’t he call?!), the “non-perfume perfume”. Aniston showed us the bottle. And it looked a lot like a perfume bottle. She posed before the sea-sprayed back and white photos. And they looked a lot like perfume ad photos. And then she squirted the stuff onto a photo of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and La Jolie vanished. One squit and she was gone! Lolavie also works on stains, bad breath and film critics…
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Posted: 21st, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lindsay Lohan Prison Pictures And Dina’s Empathy
LINDSAY Lohan is seen walking ahead of her loving mother Dina Lohan, aka White Oprah, into court.
Lohan is now in jail?
How long will she remain in jail?
And will dina release a picture of herself dressed in orange prison robes?
Lindsay Lohan For Tyler Shields (NSFW)
And dad:
Michael Lohan has issued a statement through his attorney:
“Michael spent the morning praying for his daughter. He’s devastated she’s going to jail. He loves her very much and he’ll pray for her.”
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Posted: 20th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Jennifer Aniston’s Lola Vie Is The Smell Of Nothing And Silence
JENNIFER Aniston’s new perfume Lola Vie (translation: Why Doesn’tHe Call?) reveals that she smells of cardboard, disinfectant and bubble wrap. It is, as the actress says, “an extension of myself”.
While Old Mr Anorak details one of his Latvian guards to put down her pole and clean out the Celebrity Store Room (find Anthea Turner in Room 54b, pass Little ‘n’ Large and before Tracey Scoggins) we read the poetry that describes Aniston’s scent Lolavie as “sexy and clean and floral, but not too flowery.”
Jennifer Aniston smells like the staffroom at Laura Ashley.
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Posted: 20th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Pictures Of Mel Gibson’s Home Where He Allegedly Hit Oksana Grigorieva
HERE’S your chance to look around Mel Gibson’s house Lavender Hill Farm. This is the place where Oksana Grigorieva allegedly got fast tracked to her dentist – Mel, it is said, punched her in the face because she “deserved it”. You can buy the place for $14.5 million and have it DNA swapped at your leisure. You can then nail a mezuzah to the corner of every telly in the house, play Mel’s films on loop and see if the thing explodes in a hellish fireball. And don’t forget to invite Danny Glover over to the exorcism…
Spotter: Maureen O’Connor
Posted: 19th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Lovebox Weekend: Grace Jones And Duran Duran Blow Mark Ronson: Pictures (Not All SFW)
THE Lovebox festival in London’s Victoria Part welcomes Grace Jones, one part of the hybrid Jones-Madonna Camel that goes by the name Lady GaGa. Jones’s aroused power saw, peacock hair was was almost outdone by Tahita Bulmer of New Young Pony Club and Peaches’s genitalia. And then Mark Ronson and The Business Intl performed with Duran Duran in a bouffed display of hair not seen since Vidal Sassoon discovered Dallas on the telly. We took pictures:
Posted: 19th, July 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)
Katie Price Gives Full Throat To Furious Essex ‘Sex Show’ – And More Facts
KATIE Price has been hurt by a “HATE MOB”. You can read about their “FURY” as Jordan puts on a “SEX SHOW”.
Katie is a mum-of-three. If she wants to put on a 2sex show”, then it is her right. It is a sorry pass when a British woman or man cannot put on a sex show where they want, with whom they want and where they want.
This is Katie Price’s “disastrous public appearance”, says the Star – the one that scored her another front page on the, er, Star.
To Mayhem club, Essex:
The shameless model cavorted with cage-fighter husband Alex Reid, grabbing him by the throat and simulating obscene sex acts in a packed nightclub. Security had to hold back the angry audience as they cried out “Slut!” and chanted her 37-year-old ex-husband Peter Andre’s name while trying to grab her.
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Posted: 19th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Cheryl Cole Lives In Junk Food ‘Funeral Parlour’
CHERYL Cole’s Malaria Diet that took her to just over 7-stone (NoTW) and 6-stone (People) moves on to Module 2: the junk food weight programme.
Says the Star:
The singing star, 27, who has had to pull out of her judging spot on the X Factor, has withered to a shocking six stone.
And she is now aiming to put on weight:
The pair are feeding her loads of greasy grub at the £6million Surrey mansion she used to share with love rat husband Ashley Cole, 29, in a desperate bid to fatten her up.
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Posted: 19th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kerry Katona Gets Ear Attached To Her Face? Pictures
KERRY Katona has an extra hole. Useful, you’d suppose for any budding strumpet.
Matthew Acton tells us:
Years of cocaine abuse have made a gap in her septum so big she can put the arm of her glasses in . . . out, in out and shake it all about.
Katona’s talent nose [joke!] no limits. Men turned on by noses may well tremble and push their leg down. Finally, the three nostril-woman of their fantasies.
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Posted: 18th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
