Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Revealed: Russian Who Paid GaGa Million Dollars To Appear In Ace Of Base Tribute Video
LADY GaGa’s new song Alejandro sounds much like an Ace of Base old song – the one that Aswad did and they sped up a bit. The video features a Russian billioanaire who paid $1million to feature in it.
Lady GaGa’s Alejandro Is Not Ace Of Base’s Don’t Turn Around
So keen was this Russian to be in the video that he hasn’t told anyone his name. Of course, he may be cranking up the PR before he explodes onto the media. Or else he will go on to appear in lots of video, a mystery music figure who does nothing for the art but just looks the part. The man called dubbed ‘Arkady’ is Wham!’s Andrew Ridgely, The Happy Monday’s Bez and anyone from Milli Vanilli to Bony M’s Bobby Farrell.
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Posted: 24th, June 2010 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Daniel Radcliffe Thinks ‘Lesbian’ Justin Bieber Is A Girl
DANIEL Radcliff – Harry Potter – tells MTV that he is above pop culture and thought Justin Bieber was a girl:
“I only heard Justin Beiber like for the first time like two weeks ago. I genuinely thought it was a woman singing. I’d never heard it before.”
As we know, Justin Bieber is not a girl – she is a lesbian. As for Radcliffe… Well, he also comes out with this gem in reply to what his album would be like:
“It wouldn’t be a pop album. I couldn’t make pop music like now, like what the kids of today like.”
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Posted: 23rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jade Jagger’s Rules For Not Having Rules
JADE Jagger, daughter to Mick Jagger, is talking to Hello! about her “bohemian lifestyle” and her relationship with DJ Dan Williams. Rumours are that they might get married – rumours stemming from Jade changing her Facebook status to “married”. It’s all go in Jade’s life. But what about love?
“To try to unpick the love of a relationship is like trying to figure out where the sky begins and ends.”
Ask Stephen Hawking?
“Some things are immeasurable and simply not tangible. But there is something magical about Dan. He is someone there for me who has his feet on the ground…”
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Posted: 23rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Press Release Of The Day: Phill Jupitus And Phil Wilding’s Perfect Parody
PRESS Release of The Day – in partnership with Beyond Parody of The Day – takes us for a night of laughs and larks – and bit of Sex Pistols Rock ‘n’ roll – with Phill Jupitus and Phil Wilding:
EVERYMAN CINEMAS PRESENT – PHILL JUPITUS & PHIL WILDING’S PERFECT TEN
Everyman Screen on the Green Islington 9th July
Ahem:
Bringing to life their wildly popular podcasts for the third time only, Phill & Phil invite you to attend an unpredictable evening of comic musings and abstract japery that is their Perfect Ten.
Armed with a bell, 10 topics and an upturned hat, the former BBC6 Music double act, storm the stage once graced by Punk heroes The Sex Pistols, to perform an equally raucous hour of Perfect Ten Live – with the second set of questions chosen by you, the audience!
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Posted: 23rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Glastonbury: Turning Vodka Into Water
GLASTONBURY is here. And the pilgrims are turning vodka into water… Behold!
Posted: 23rd, June 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Katie Price And Alex Reid’s Wedding To Be Coffee Table Book: Pictures
THIS week’s OK! leads with the Katie Price and Alex Reid “WEDDING SPECIAL”. But not a special wedding because Katie and Mr Toffee Crisp are not yet married and Katie has been married before in OK!.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Five years on from that day and Katie and Peter Andre’s wedding is billed as a “national fairytale”. What nation looks to that day as an inspiration to its citizens is unsaid, but to our money it’s either Rwanda or Transylvania.
Katie says Alex is her “knight in shining armour”. Hey, Katie it’s not armour – that’s his skin.
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Posted: 22nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre’s “Cockatiel” Tattoo Rights Katie Price Wrongs
POP acorn Peter Andre tells readers of New! magazine that rubbing out his Katie Price ring tattoo is not that easy. Like dried Wotsits on a virgin’s sheets, the stain sticks.
Tattoos – Weird And Stupid Ones
Peter bears the word “Katie” on his ring finger. That finger is for Katie and Katie alone. That finger will never touch another woman – unless she is also called Katie.
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Posted: 22nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Kevin And Joe Jones Arrive To See Brother Nick In Les Miserables
WE spotted Kevin and Joe Jonas arriving at London’s Queen’s Theatre to see their brother, professional virgin, Nick’s debut performance in Les Miserables. Nick Jonas he will be starring in the production for the next three weeks. Kevin is the one who looks like an estate agent shopping for a pink shirt; Joe is dressed a Rupert Pupkin. Do girls like this clothing? Do they go bandy at the sight of a George Burns’ cast offs? Two words, lads: Justin Bieber. If you’re not wearing pull ups any more, you’re too old to be a teen star…
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Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Frank Sidebottom RIP: Big Head In Pictures
RIP Frank Sidebottom. Yours was the huge round head we could laugh at. Chris Sievey is also dead.
Timperley is lost. The Freshies’ fan club is bereft. On Piccadilly Radio, Chris Evans was your driver.
On Sunday morning he tweeted:
“I’m still feeling very poorly”.
Of course with some editing on cassette player and a Bontempi organ, Sidebottom could carry on…
Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Miley Cyrus Explains Her Doggy-Eared Love Tattoo
MILEY Cyus is the teen star coming of age. It is painful watching. And as E! News (via) explains, it is painful listening too. Miley has had the world “LOVE” tattooed on her right ear.
No, not on her knuckles. Although her potential suitors are thought to approve.
To best read it you need to approach Miley from behind and bend her head forward. He knows how to do it.
Its a contender for entry in The World’s Weirdest And Stupidest Tattoos.
But why does Miley have “LOVE” written on her ear? Well:
“There’s so much negativity in the world and what you only need to hear is all the love. People try to say to me, ‘I just heard someone say this or that about you,’ and I just ignore it because it’s irrelevant. Love is what makes the world go around, and that’s all we need to focus on.”
Love and a decent groin thrust. For other Miley bon mots:
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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Dina Lohan, Lindsay Lohan And The Carvel Ice Cream Fiasco: Pictures
DINA Lohan, mother to Lindsay Lohan, is in a Carvel ice-cream store trying to use her daughter’s Carvel “Black Card” to gt her frozen treats. Things go badly.
Dina Lohan reacts:
“It just shows how we get treated so much worse than regular people. Just wait until Lindsay and Ali hear about this.”
Feel their wrath, ice-cream vendor. they will whine and stamp their feet until you can’t stand it. Be afraid!
THIS JUST IN…
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Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)
Justin Bieber Has Mug Shot Taken: Police Disappointed
JUSTIN Bieber is drinking inside the Mug and Mallet bar in Ocean City, Maryland. And it’s not gripe water. A call is made to the Celebrity Police Force.
The CPF always gets is celeb. With any luck the cops with get their pictures in the papers and tell their loved ones about the time they met The Bieb.
Bieber is pinched – but it’s not him. It’s a 27-year-old woman named Katie.
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady GaGa’s Alejandro Is Not Ace Of Base’s Don’t Turn Around
MORE on Lady GaGa’s Madonna-Ace of Base hybrid record Alejandro. Lady GaGa is Madonna’s Camel, a popstar formed by committee. The song is Ace of Base’s Don’t Turn Around, itself a copy of Aswad’s orignial, although they didn’t write it.
Alejandro is a pretty good match to Don’t Turn Around, albeit with a dash of La Isla Bonita.
Ace Of Bass and Madonna Both Love Lady GaGa’s New Nostalgia Song: Alejandro
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Gary Coleman Is Cremated Without His Money
GARY Coleman has died and the tabloid press, having already screamed “MURDER”, will have a field day with news that he is being cremated. And there will be no funeral.
Gary Coleman ‘Murder’: The Unknown Intruder (Pictures)
The 42-year-old star of TV’s Diff’rent Strokes died after suffering a brain haemorrhage (oh, the irony).
Former Diff’rent Strokes star Gary Coleman will be cremated, but a funeral service will not take place. Why? Well, this is showbiz – it’s all about the money.
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Order Their Babies On BOASTS
EVA Longoria Parker and tall husband Tony Parker are calling the BOASTS – Anorak’s Baby Ordering And Star Treatment Service.
Tony Parker calls BOAST via USMagazine.com [via popeater], to say that he and Eva are “thinking about it. Pretty soon”.
Always good to give the magazines, paps and marketers a heads up when you’re thinking of making babies. Does Eva and Tone’s schedule clash with any other celebs call to BOASTS? Can Kate Middleton delay?
Eva will make a “great” mum, says Tony. And he: “I’d be great, I love kids.”
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre Kisses Celebrity Dad Trophy – But Would Rather Be Kissing Kidzzz
PETER Andre is the Bounty Celebrity Dad of the Year. He was crowned the king of toilet tissues, baby wipes and vomit bibs clubs at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in London. Pete kissed the award – a white chain plate embedded into a VHS tape. But he’d rather have been kissing his kidzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The tops ten dads talking about their kidzzzzz in the media are:
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole And Derek Hough Do Tanzania: In Pictures And Nibbled Tattoos
CHERYL Cole is in Africa. She’s in Tanzania with Derek Hough. Yesterday, she was still in love with nation’s World Cup sweetheart Ashley Cole. Today, “smitten” Cheryl – soon to be Cheryl Tweedy – is in Tanzania on what the Sun calls a “romantic trip to Africa”.
And it is a “secret trip”. Look, there’s secretive Cheryl walking through Heathrow Airport with her Hough and an assistant.
Cheryl Cole Reunites With Ashley Cole For World Cup: Pictures
Or as the Mirror’s 3am Girls tell us:
The sneaky little things arrived at Heathrow separately yesterday before hopping on a flight to Tanzania for a dirty long weekend.
Surely “romantic” weekend? Maybe. As the headline informs readers:
Cheryl and Derek are probably bonking in Africa as we speak
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Kesha Mistakes Dog Poo For Her CD: Hilarity Results
POP strumpet Kesha – “I always hairspray my hair as big as possible because then everything else looks smaller [brains, talent etc.] – says she gives her pals bag of dog turds:
“Sometimes I’ll walk my dogs and fill bags full of massive dog shit. Then I’ll wrap them as Christmas presents and give them to people.”
Them’s the people she likes. The one she hates get their turds polished – into a CD…
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Monstering Of Cherly Cole’s ‘Attacker’ Danielle Beeres: Pictures
CHERYL Cole’s “ATTACKER “ who left her “terrified” is Danielle Beeres. Danielle is 21. Danielle, says, the Sun’s Andrew Parker, “talks about her constantly and practises copying Cheryl’s signature.”
Does talking about someone a lot make you “obsessed”? That question to you, the Sun, OK!, Daily Star, Simon Cowell and more…
Pictures: Cheryl Cole Attacked With Pen By ‘Crazed Mob’ In Birmingham
Does talking about Cheryl Cole make you a potential “attacker”? Defamer’s Jess McGuire says she is “obsessed” with Girls Aloud. Is she dangerous. Might she ask for Cheryl’s autograph?
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Rihanna Photoshopped On Elle Magazine Cover?
RIHANNA is a confident girl. But has she been altered to fit on the cover of Elle magazine? The skin is light. The thighs are slender. The waist is much less so…
ENJOY – Pictures Of Celebrities Who Put On Weight
A bit more Rihanna – NSFW
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Fred Dibnah’s Aladdin’s Cave Is Open
FRED Dibnah is now a museum. The Bolton News puts the opening of Fred Dibnah in understated tones. You can’t help but think that Dibnah, one of the top half dozen TV steeplejacks, would have approved:
THEY travelled from as far as Sutton Coldfield and Loughborough to look around Fred Dibnah’s “Aladdin’s cave” of a work yard.
‘Nuff said:
Fred Dibnah The Movie: Clare Short Or Tim Healy?
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Spotter: Karen
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Why Elton Played At Rush Limbaugh’s Wedding
WHEN Elton John scored a seven-figure pay check to play at 59-year-old US radio jock Rush Limbaugh’s fourth marriage – this one to 33-year-old Kathryn Rogers – we wondered.
Elton John of the Elton John Aids Foundation playing like hired puppet for a man who said Aids was “overhyped“, who called Senator Barney Frank “Banking Queen”, who said that openly gay students are “trumpeting” their sexuality, “inviting dissent” and:
“When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation.”
And who mused:
“If homosexuality being inborn is what makes it acceptable, why does racism being inborn not make racism acceptable?”
Possible reason as to why Elton did it:
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Kerry Katona Is Over The Moon And On The Leash
KERRY Katona is on the front of OK! magazine walking a tiger on a leash. In her hand she holds a and small dog. Only the leash is not about the Tiger’s neck, which suggests photoshop or else Kerry is in danger. The dog might be less a pet than a morsel.
Inside OK! and Kerry is lying on a table surrounded by three glum-faced men in black suits. Is she about to be undressed and covered in Iceland frozen squirrels? Or is she dead?
We never find out, because Kerry just wants to tells us about her OK! column. She is “over the moon to be back!”.
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Gary Coleman ‘Murder’: The Unknown Intruder (Pictures)
GARY Coleman, star of TV’s Diff’rent Strokes is dead, but there is no peace. Before the shock revelation that he might have been Michael Jcakson’s love child, news of his “murder”.
The Enquirer republishes that picture of Gary Coleman on his death bed. And the headline:
“GARY COLEMAN WAS MURDERED”
The article tells of Coleman’s “blood-spattered home”. An “expert” says the “blood spray patterns could indicate he was struck with a blunt object or shoved.”
Could it? The article doesn’t say if the blood is Coleman’s. But we can all speculate as to how blood got on wall.
Why A ‘Murdered’ Gary Coleman Is Good For Business: NSFW Pictures
“An enemy or thief could have snuck into his home, attacked him and staged the scene to look like an a accident.”
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: National Enquirer | Comment
Pictures Of Celebrities Who Put On Weight
WHEN Star Magazine gawped at a voluptuous Jessica Simpson from an unflattering angle and screamed “It’s Not A Fat Suit” we realised why Hollywood stars keep in shape. But can you be a victim if you once sold your wonderful body to the slobbering masses to envy and admire? Here’s a gallery of stars who put on weight and were attacked for it. Featuring: Jessica Simpson, Tyra Banks, Mariah Carey, Kristie Alley, Alec Baldwin, Britney Spears, Kelly LeBrock, Rosie O’Donell, Janet Jackson, Mike Tyson, Kevin Federline, Steven Segal, John Travolta and Val Kilmer…
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
